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tv   This Is Life With Lisa Ling  CNN  October 12, 2019 8:00pm-9:00pm PDT

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this experience, it is that i need to be more diligent and vigilant about reading those warnings. because the consequences can be dire. xxx . >> you can imagine the feelings this would evoke if we didn't have to censor it for tv. now imagine how you'd feel if you saw this at 10 years old before anyone had taught you anything about sex. every kid who has access to a computer or smartphone has access to porn. i'm just going to type in the word porn here and see what just comes up. yeah. sexually explicit material has
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always been around but today graphic content is virtually unlimited both in volume and variety. chances are, if your child hasn't already seen porn, trust me, he or she will. >> your 12-year-old might be seeing more naked people having sex in five minutes than their grandparents did over their entire life times. >> tonight we explore a topic that no one wants to talk about and meet people who are choosing to break the silence. men who stumbled upon porn as young children and got addicted. >> i was first exposed when i was probably 7 or 8. >> a porn star who wants to tell us what really goes on behind the scenes. >> the truth is that in most films we're not orgasming. >> and a couple who feels compelled to show the world and us what real sex looks like. this is a conversation we all
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need to have. a no holds barred talk about sex and pornography and what our kids should know about the difference. i'm heading deep into the woods of rural pennsylvania to try to unplug and meet a group of people who have a problem they can't talk to just anyone about. >> welcome. we're really happy that all of you were able to be here and
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just thank you for having the courage to do this. >> these five men are porn addicts, a tiny sample of what some say is a major epidemic. today at this retreat, they're meeting each other face to face for the very first time. and i'm taking a back seat to observe. >> the first thing that i would love to do is get to know a little bit about all of you. >> i'm 26. i am married. i have a 4-month-old daughter. and i like to bowl. >> i was born in saudi arabia. >> where i grew up pornography is not a part of the culture and i feel like talking about it might inspire someone else to understand they're not alone in this. >> i am a writer. i'm a performer. i identify as a gay male and i really want to make this a visible issue for gay people as well. >> i am a musician. i play a bass, electric bass
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saxaphone. i am actually just a senior in high school. >> the ranges of ages and backgrounds in the room are proof porn addiction can happen to anyone. >> i've been trying to quit for nine years. even if i'm in a relationship i can't stop unless i am actually getting professional help. >> this has been affecting my life tremendously every day for a straight six years. >> when i was at my worst, i would watch pornography and masturbate four or five times a day. i would tell some of my friends this and they would say, dude, how is that even possible? >> i appreciate you being so honest. it is so challenging to actually not be exposed to porn today. you can be paying your bills online and get deviated to pornography. it could happen in a second. >> the person leading this workshop is 29-year-old alex. he's made it his mission to help people overcome porn addiction. but alex is not a therapist.
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he's a fellow addict who struggled for almost two-thirds of his life. when was your first exposure to porn? >> i think around 11 was the first time and it was actually inadvertent. i was on the computer all the time on video game oriented websites and i got exposed to a pop-up ad. i was just like ooh naked woman and that's interesting so i went online and started looking at underwear photos. nothing really pornographic. then it escalated after that to breasts and then eventually to more hard core stuff. >> what do you think it did to you to be so young and exposed to porn? >> i used to have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about talking to a girl that i liked at that age and there is just this wonderful sense of awe. all of a sudden, you're seeing photographs of women naked and it just completely destroys the
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intrigue and the electricity of that school boy crush feeling. >> did your parents have any idea? >> they had no idea what i was doing. i was very good at eluding my parents and making sure they were completely unaware of this. >> throughout adolescence and high school, alex continued to battle his secret addiction. though he attempted to have real relationships and sexual intimacy, his porn use got in the way. >> porn just took away all of the mystery of women to the point where i just wasn't really that interested in them anymore. in order to maintain arousal i had to really fantasize about porn and almost ignore the person in front of me. >> at your worst how often were you viewing porn? >> at least ten times a day if not 14 sometimes. i was going at it to the point where i was injuring myself. chafing on my genitals. i couldn't even stop for a day to allow it to heal. just had to keep going. i was like, this can't be
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healthy. but i just felt powerless to actually stop it. i wanted to stop but i couldn't or i felt like i couldn't. >> alex began looking for answers online and found some articles that inspired him to try something radical. go cold turkey for one week. no porn. no masturbation. no orgasm. >> i was like oh, my gosh, my life just so quickly was getting better. >> he then threw up the idea on reddit sparking intense discussion. the high level of interest led him to start his own website that provides support for people who are trying to stop porn. what does nofap? >> fap is the sound masturbation makes. >> oh. >> i don't want to get too graphic but you can look at old comics and there will be a male or female masturbating and it will say fap, fap, fap to it and
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that is an indication of the sound. but this isn't an antimasturbation website but a porn addiction web sielt. >> porn addiction isn't a medically recognized disease but hundreds of thousands of people claim it is real and are turning to sites like no fap. >> we have people across the planet. it impacts christians, muslims, republicans, democrats. if you are a human being and have access to the internet you can absolutely get addicted to porn. >> though alex is emphatic this can happen to anyone, he tells me that 95% of nofap users are men. >> it does happen to young men more often than any other group i would say. i think the most vulnerable demographic is males between the ages of 8 to 14. >> alex runs his website from home, offering people a tool kit of information, peer support, and forums to help them stop using porn. his work is mostly online but
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recently he tried something new. in person retreats to offer no fap members the opportunity to unplug and connect with each other. >> these days facts and figures are pointing at around the age of 11 as average exposure. i'm just kind of wondering what age did all of you first encounter pornography? >> i think it was around 8. you know, i first found pornography. it was the dial up kind. you had to wait. >> i had been struggling with this since i was 11 years old. i remember vividly seeing the image on the computer and having this, like, first orgasm with technology. >> i was first exposed when i was probably 7 or 8. and then i would say i started using regularly when i was about 10. >> i first saw pornography when i was around 9 years old. i didn't actually have a cell phone. i didn't have a computer. i had a nintendo ds and i
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remember they just came out with the new model that you could access the internet with. and by the time i turned 11 years old, i was watching pornography on a regular basis. by the time i was 13, i was fully addicted to pornography. >> many others in the no fap community were exposed to porn at a young age and now report side effects such as reduced sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and social anxiety. >> porn is a very big issue. with my wife, i've gone through a lot of guilt around it. porn causes me to not be able to perform sexually. sometimes thinking about having sex with my wife causes a lot of mental distress. i want to have real sex but then i also don't want to because i'm afraid in the real act of sex, so it is really like a dark
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place for me. >> we are in the first generation of humans who has ever grown up and went through puberty while using pornography online in unlimited amounts. today's internet porn is available for free anywhere any time just a click or a tap away. it's on instagram. it's on facebook. it's on twitter. >> though nofap has only been around seven years the site has over half a million users, showing just how big a problem porn addiction really is. what do you think that is doing to our culture? >> kids are learning about sex through porn. they're getting the porn producer's view of sex, not the natural, life experiences they should ultimately grow up and have. it's impacting relationships, how men see women, how women see men. >> we're talking about a pretty massive epidemic here. >> it's the largest epidemic that not many people want to
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. while most high school students are getting ready for prom or playing sports, 17-year-old shaun took time off from his senior year to come here and talk about porn addiction. his parents, aware of his problem, gave their blessing for him to attend this retreat. >> a huge portion of our generation are absolutely consumed by pornography.
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i know that just from my friends, virtually every single one of them watch pornography and masturbate regularly. they're just numb. we have been exposed to this for so much of our early, young adult life that there is nothing special about sexuality. >> growing up, shaun was a shy and studious kid. an honor student in the marching band and a talented musician. but underneath, he was caught in a dark trap. would you say, shaun, that porn was your sex ed? >> yes. the first sex ed class i had was in fifth grade, but, i mean, it's a joke. it's just basic, wear a condom. this is how pregnancy works.
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and that's about the extent of it. the thing that would have helped me the most is if early in sex education that we would have learned about porn being an addiction. those two words are not often put together. and i think if you had a classroom of kids and you said, this can cause erectile dysfunction. this can cause this. this can cause that. that's all it would take. >> for years, shaun kept his porn use a secret, throwing himself into academics and music instead of girls. his sophomore year he discovered online that he wasn't alone in his struggle. there were many others out there feeling the same effects. >> i think that a lot of kids that do have a problem with pornography end up becoming extremely terrified of women. >> did you find that happening to yourself? >> yeah. i mean, to this day i've never
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had a girlfriend. i feel like i am trying to discover what a real relationship should be like. >> can you think of any examples maybe in your life on how you look at women or how you look at men potentially differently because of your compulsive porn use? >> i love women. i love being around feminine energy. i love how girls talk. i just love those aspects and i feel like they're being eliminated in porn. >> people say that, you know, all men are just pigs and that's all that they think about is sex. but the truth is, that's not who we want to be. i think that porn has caused me to objectify women. i think some of it's cultural. but a lot of it has to do with pornography and what it has done to my brain. i don't want to think about them that way. it really bothers me, you know, quite a bit. >> these guys have been hooked on a fantasy that can only be found on a screen. a world of instant gratification
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and women who look like this. meet tasha. she's young, blonde, and beautiful. she loves sex, and she wants you. >> tasha is this fantasy character that i play in my movies that represents sex and fun. >> over the last eight years 29-year-old tasha has made adult films for her fans who number in the hundreds of thousands. but tasha doesn't think of herself as a porn star. she's an adult entertainer in a multi-billion dollar business that capitalizes on fantasy. how did you get into adult entertainment? >> growing up i always idolized the spice girls, just women that were sex symbols. i was just drawn to playboy when i was in high school.
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i love being nude. i love modeling. i'm like, that is the job for me. so when i moved up to los angeles to attend college, i made it my goal to get myself into the playboy mansion. >> after tasha rubbed elbows with hugh hefner she hired an agent to get her into the adult film industry. she was just 21 when she made her first video. >> i remember my first shoot i was like oh, my gosh. this is definitely not modest. are people going to freak out when they see this? i come from a very conservative neighborhood. my family, my friends' reaction to what i was doing was extreme and that was hard to handle, but i loved that it was something i could control. i immediately bought my website. i was a business woman right away. so even with all the backlash, it still was like, no. this is what i want to do.
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>> today tasha owns and creates content for her website. >> i enjoy entertaining people with my sexuality and it's nice to be able to monetize it. but i think there's a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes about the adult industry and i think it's the media's responsibility. i think it's journalists' responsibility to normalize the adult industry and then people would realize that adult performers are normal people that have a unique job. >> not everyone in the adult industry cares how the world perceives porn but tasha is launching a second career to help set the record straight. she's getting a masters degree in journalism. >> adult film stars, sex workers, representation in media or the lack thereof, our role as journalists and as people in the media is to dismantle stigma and stereotypes. >> tasha sees porn as a
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legitimate business made exclusively for the entertainment of adults. but with porn being pirated and accessible beyond adult only sites, she knows that young people are finding it, many who have never been taught anything about sex. what do you think the dangers are of young people watching porn before they've had any kind of sex education? >> if i was a teenager and i knew nothing about sex and i watched an adult film, i probably would think oh, my gosh, that's what sex should look like, when in reality that's not real. kids haven't learned about sex. then they go and watch porn. that is not supposed to happen. >> a skewed perspective of what sex is supposed to be. >> right. or what people are supposed to look like. that is just not the intent of porn. porn is for adults. it's the parents' job to educate kids about sex. it is definitely not porn's responsibility to take care of that. at the same time, i think that
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what's most dangerous about young people consuming adult content is the consent factor. they haven't been properly taught how to ask for permission and how to communicate with their partner. on set we speak to our partner about what we like, what we don't like. we negotiate sex before we have sex. that part is not shown on film. i knew what i was going to do to get their attention. >> even though we don't usually see the actors talk about consent, in a lot of porn like tasha's the characters all seem onboard. they appear to want to have sex. but there's more extreme content out there where it can seem like someone is being forced to do something they don't want to do. that can be really confusing, even disturbing for young, developing minds. >> i do feel the need to be more
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vocal about content because i know young people are consuming content. in this environment where we had a supreme court justice that has been accused of sexual assault we have to be addressing this topic. i mean, it's more serious than ever before. the me too movement, times up movement, all we're talking about but we don't have a solution. let's find a solution. >> now tasha is taking matters into her own hands. and getting young adults to question the reality of the content they consume. >> how many of the female orgasms portrayed in these films are actually happening? of the ivory billed woodpecker. what??? no, no no no no. battery power runs out.
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that's simple, easy, awesome. say nhl center ice into your voice remote to upgrade for a great low price, or go online today. i'm at chapman university in southern california sitting in on a class called human sexuality. >> i'm very excited we have our last guest speaker of the semester. please welcome tasha reign. >> hello, everyone. thank you so much for having me. i want to help you get a better understanding of what it's actually like to be an adult performer. >> on a quest to open the minds of young adults tasha travels to
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universities to share some truths about the porn industry. >> i was wondering if you could talk a little bit about what goes on behind the scenes that the viewer doesn't get to see. >> before the scenes that i shoot, and before my co-workers shoot, they have to negotiate the type of sex that they're going to have that day. they have to make sure that they're comfortable with the acts they're doing. so consent is a huge factor in our job. >> when yourself' having sex on camera how much of it is acting and how much is actual sexual pleasure? >> that's a great question. i've had plenty of days where i had to act mostly. no matter what you have to perform. because you are acting in a film. the truth is that in most films we're not orgasming because we can't do it on command, right? it's a psychological thing. >> tasha wants to remind the world that porn is fiction. a fantasy played by actors. >> i'm a performer and the art that i do is performance art.
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it's an entertainment business just like any other. >> to her, porn is not a how to guide to sex because it is simply not real. but this woman, 58-year-old cindy gallop, feels compelled to provide something that is real, a desire born out of first-hand experience. >> i date men in their 20s and i know that they are able to impress me in bed and i began encountering a number of sexual behavioral means in bed. i went, whoa. where is that behavior coming from? >> it's been many decades since i had sex with men in their 20s so tell me what you started to notice. >> the porn moves, the porn expressions literally and going, wow. i recognize all of these things. i realized i was experiencing what happens when today's total freedom of access to hard core porn online meets our society's
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equally total reluctance to talk openly and honestly about sex. when those two things converge porn becomes sex education by default in not a good way. >> cindy's answer was make love not porn. a website where members can rent and submit videos of real world sex, real people in loving relationships having true intimacy. >> we are not porn. we're not amateur. we catch what goes on in the real world as it happens, spontaneously, in all its funny, messy, ridiculous, beautiful, comical, awkward humanness. everybody is beautiful when they're having real world sex. and they really are. >> today the platform has over 500,000 members and more than 2500 videos to choose from. on the site, users can pay $5 to watch a video and half of the money goes to the people who make it.
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every single submission is vetted by human eyes to make sure it's authentic. i sat down with one of the make love not porn curators. you watch a lot of sex and love making. >> yes, yeah. >> and how is it not porn? >> porn starts like with penetration and ends with orgasm. we're looking for kind of a wider story than that. you want to see like the flirting that happens before hand, the negotiation, the discussions of, well do you want to try this? let's do this. we want to see the cuddles afterwards. >> show me some stuff that you've approved. >> okay. so i love this. this is one of those videos we were talking about. right? >> you can kind of get a feel for how they relate together and that's what we really love to bring out of this. >> do you think if more people could watch the love making on
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make love not porn that sexual relationships could be healthier? >> i think there is a lot of pressure to perform the way people do in porn and what i love about this is that realness. that level of relaxation. where someone can lose the lube bottle, someone can fall off the bed, and sex isn't over. you're not trying to replicate this cinematic version of what sex can be. >> what they're selling is in demand. their membership is growing. but just who is ballsy enough to film and post their most intimate moments? i am about to meet one couple who is willing to share it all. aleve is proven better on pain than tylenol. when pain happens, aleve it. all day strong.
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in the quiet suburbs of new mexico, tony and veronica have a typical domestic life. tony has a 9:00 to 5:00 job in customer service. veronica, a stay at home mom, keeps the house in order. the two care for their 5-year-old son, getting him ready for preschool every week day morning. how would you describe your daily lives? >> it's pretty humdrum for most of it. you want some milk? get up, get ready for school, he gets ready for work, and i
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clean. have a good day. just the same thing over and over. >> after almost ten years of marriage, routine runs their lives. the few moments they have as a couple are usually spent watching their favorite shows. it's all very simple and ordinary. but some mornings after veronica has dropped off their son and before tony heads to work, the two make the most of their alone time. this is not just squeezing in a quickie. tony and veronica are making a video of their love making. later they'll edit this material and upload it to make love not porn the online community that shares real world consensual sex. what was it about make love not porn that appealed to you? >> real people making that connection and we want to be that person. >> yeah. it was very refreshing, like oh,
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wow. this is an actual couple. they're together. they're having a great time. they're not your typical hard bodied, young people. there was none of that. >> hot and heavy, tony and veronica love sharing their passion with the world. it's a long way from where they both started. growing up in catholic families where sex was taboo. >> my family was more just like, you don't do it. one of the worst pieces of advice my mother gave me was good girls don't enjoy sex. >> with marriage, tony and veronica were able to finally have a sanctioned sex life. but parenthood and its demands quickly took over. they tell me as their sex life waned they both began to separately and secretly look at porn. >> veronica, when tony told you that he was watching porn, how did you feel? >> i wasn't upset because i was
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watching also. i was just more relieved like oh, good you said it first. >> so then, tony, how did you feel? >> i was like, really. this is cool. >> the two began to look for something to watch together. they found the options weren't in line with the sex they wanted to have. >> there is a pornography where you don't see the people enjoying themselves and you feel bad for them. let's be honest, it is the woman you feel bad for. >> some was too aggressive and i was like, this is not what i'm looking for. then i saw make love not porn. this is what's missing. >> it is one thing to watch the videos on the site. it's another to upload your own. why did you want to do that? >> we wanted people to know that, hey, sex is enjoyable. it is not a fantasy like pornography. it can be safe and consensual.
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>> sex can be a not bad taboo thing. everybody does it. >> they've posted more than 25 videos so far. in every day places like the kitchen and on every day events their videos reveal a realness you don't often see in main stream porn. >> i almost got a cramp. that's what it's about. it's about the real stuff that happens in every day lives. >> there are no big lights, no director or crew. it's the opposite of a traditional porn shoot. everything is captured from consent -- >> go a little faster? >> -- to mistakes. the emphasis is on love and respect. tony and veronica's fans can
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tell there's real love here. the feedback online has been overwhelmingly positive. >> people say, i love that you're a mom. you have a mom's body. you're beautiful. i've never been told i've been beautiful. >> how does that make you feel? >> it felt great. i'm over here like worried about oh, i don't have a flat stomach and i don't have rock hard boobs, you know, somebody is going to make fun. and, no. everybody has been like oh, my god that's just so great. it really builds you up. >> this experience has obviously helped your sex life. how has it affected your relationship? >> the communication has just opened up, like exponentially. >> we got this connection that's so close right now. we're not just married. we're soul mates. >> we're soul mates. >> tony and veronica have learned about the value of talking about sex. >> is that good? >> it's a lesson they hope to
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one day share with their son. what do you want your child to know about sex? >> to know that it's okay to talk about it and when he gets older whoever his partner is to make sure he treats them well. the one thing no one talks about. having sex, consent. talking about it. what do you like? what do you not like? that kind of stuff. we want him to understand that. >> okay. go to sleep. good job! >> what if there is more of this in society? what if we talked to our kids earlier about sex? in one american city, there is a group that's way ahead of the curve. an after school program taking on taboo subjects with teenagers. >> you seek out porn at a younger age when you're taught to not know anything about sex. more towers.
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porn allows you to secretly venture off in your sexuality. there is no real representation. >> after you're exposed to porn
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your innocence kind of goes away. >> in downtown boston, something unique is happening. something that puts these kids way ahead of the rest of the nation. for two hours a week, these high school students gather for a class called porn literacy where they break down a topic no one wants to talk about. it's part of a larger program offered by the city to promote healthy relationships. it's facilitated by peer leaders who aren't afraid to dive right in. >> all right. do you think pornography can have an impact on the way someone has sex? why or why not? >> someone that i know was telling me about her first time and how her partner was doing something that related to porn and how she did not enjoy it at all. >> this girl was talking about how she was having sex with her boyfriend and she was disappointed because he didn't last long and she was like oh but you know in porn the guy lasted like 45 minutes. >> i also feel like kids today when watching porn they struggle
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with the power dynamic of consent and sex. kids don't really know what consent means and it's just like you say no but you really mean yes. >> watching these young people have a discussion that most adults are afraid to have with their own kids is extraordinary. i can't help jumping in with questions. >> so i'll just ask generally, how many of you know kids who have accessed porn on their devices? so would you say there are a lot of kids that are kind of like checking out stuff that's pretty taboo? >> definitely. >> yes. >> taboo is not the word. >> exotic. >> extreme? >> extremely exotic. my goodness. >> do you think kids are watching violent porn? >> yes. the stuff my friends tell me about makes me worried for them. i'm like how did you find that? that has to be on the black web, the dark web. something like that. >> do you think kids are seeking
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that kind of stuff out? >> i think it has a lot more to do with curiosity. some people just look like, like generic, just a basic topic and then it shows a whole bunch of more other topics and they're just like oh, boy or girl doing this or someone is doing that or what is this? >> if you scroll down, you're going to see posts or videos or it might have a caption saying something funny and then you open the video and it's like oh, my god, it's porn. >> how many of your friends have been affected by it? has it affected their relationships? >> i heard that once you get addicted to porn, it will be hard to fully engage in sex with your partner because you already have this fantasy about porn. >> if you see porn, it's like you're taught that there's almost like no feelings behind sex. and when you start feeling
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emotions like if you feel like you like someone or love someone, you're like wait, that's a little confusing because i only wanted sex. >> before you took this class, had anyone talked to you or spoken to you about porn? when i was your age, i didn't have any sex education in school at all. in fact, you know, my grandmother when i was a kid was like never let a man see you naked. that's how i was raised, super conservative. and if i had a phone and could access hard core porn, i can't even imagine how i would have dealt with that. what do you think the right age is for kids to start learning about sex and yor, you know, ev learning about porn. >> i feel like it's when you first give your child a phone or when someone has access to computers. that's when they should be told because they will find it one
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way or another. >> it's not something that's really taught in school. and that's the place we basically spend our entire lives. so, i feel like it should be a mandatory class. >> yeah. sex ed here in the united states is this big cur fluffal of nonsense and confusion because it teaches you how to be safe but not the pleasures. and porn teaches you the pleasures, sort of, but not how to be safe. >> these kids have put their finger on a problem. with porn just a click away, the sex ed provided in most schools is just not cutting it. and without this kind of straight talk, more people could end up like alex and the guys in his porn addiction workshop. >> when you're so consumed by pornography, it's like you are robbed and it's a psychological terrorism. >> so, where do they go from here? mething important. you don't need to go anywhere dad, this is your home.
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what are you doing back there, junior? since we're obviously lost, i'm rescheduling my xfinity customer service appointment.
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ah, relax. i got this. which gps are you using anyway? a little something called instinct. been using it for years. yeah, that's what i'm afraid of. he knows exactly where we're going. my whole body is a compass. oh boy... the my account app makes today's xfinity customer service simple, easy, awesome. not my thing. in the middle of rural pennsylvania, alex's porn addiction retreat is coming to a close. >> we spent a lot of time talking about the past, and i'm just wondering where do you want to be five years from now. >> i want porn and masturbation out of my life. i want to be in a relationship
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with somebody, not tied to something that's not real. >> i would like to be completely porn free a year from now. i feel like if i can do that, then i can be successful. >> i want life. i do not want synthetic love. like, i'm looking at this portrait of this elderly couple and it's like such a beautiful metaphor of what you're asking about the future. this is no coincidence that this portrait is in this house. it just says everything about what it is to be in relationship with each other. like that is what life is right there. >> the ultimate beauty of the picture is intimacy. just beautiful. >> these guys know what they want. but how do they begin to find
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it? maybe the first steps are not that complicated. >> we don't have instagram right here. >> i have a terrible signal. you don't get notifications out here. no phone notifications. you kind of bring it down a little bit. >> yeah, feels good though. >> alex tells them one of the best things they can do is get outside and take breaks from their phones and computers. staying unplugged may be their best hope because porn isn't going away. >> if you don't teach your kids about porn, the porn producers will teach your kids about porn for you. so, it's absolutely essential that every parent, teachers, anybody, just warn the next generation about this issue. tell them about the negative side effects. >> this needs to be talked about. you don't get your education from pornography. that is fantasy. it is okay to want to watch fantasy, but acknowledge that it is fantasy.
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it is not real. >> it is not porn's job to educate or inform. it's to entertain. it's our job to talk openly and honestly about sex as we do anything else. >> in my dream world, i feel like we would treat sex the same way we treat math, history, science. it's to me one of the most important things in our world. it's how we procreate. it's how we enjoy ourselves. it's what drives most people, so why are we not talking about it? >> if parents talk to their kids about having sex, like the dangers and also the pleasures of it, we wouldn't watch porn to learn about sex. >> the take away from all of this has to be we have to become more communicative about sex. we can't continue to be ashamed about having conversations that are really important especially when it comes to kids. i know i am ready to have the
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conversation with my kids. i realize they're only 5 and 2 but i am ready because i know if i don't have the conversation with them, someone else will. >> careful. it's 10:00 a.m. in los angeles. this is crazy. and i'm following rudy malano down treacherous ground. police have been waiting for rudy to inspect the scene. >> we have a floater. lifeguard personnel brought him ashore. >> but rudy isn't a detective. he's an investigator with the l.a. county coroner, the first person allowed to examine the body lying in the water just a few feet away. what happens to us if we die

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