Comparison Destroys Personality
I look up to a lot of people. Every time I meet somebody that is doing something I have always wanted to do, I inspect them and try to see what different did they do to get there. I have always had this weird urge to compare myself with people around me. At first, I thought it was a way of self-improvement, But the more I properly think about it, It was just me trying to become like them because I used to think very highly of them. So much so, that I started changing my decisions according to the thought of “Will they do this?” If the answer was No, then I used to think to myself, “Why am I doing it? This is so embarrassing, Maybe, this is why I am nowhere close to getting there.” and the circle of self-doubting would begin.
The funny part we ignore is, Our idols fail too. That is the entire reason we look up to idolizing them. Nobody looked at a person that has had it all easy, everything coming their way like it’s nothing, and been like, “Wow, that person is so inspiring.” We as people love listening to “from nothing to everything stories” because it makes us feel okay about being on page one. After all, that person used to be there too.
I have achieved my fair share of things. But every time, I have achieved something, my inner voice would tell me to try harder, to aim for something better, which used to make me try so hard that I used to end up self-sabotaging and burning out myself. Overworking has brought nobody no good in the long run.
The truth to be told is, there is always going to be somebody better in the room than you at most times. That is how you know that you are in the right room, like they say. But you can’t ignore the fact that you are also better than some people in the room. As kids, we were always taught to compare ourselves with the topper of the class, because it is so over-highlighted to always keep looking for that better result. But, if you are not satisfied with everything you have achieved and you know you did put your heart into it, there will always be a better result to chase. And before you know it, all you will do in your life is keep chasing something you labeled as “better”. Make your own definition of better. If I earn a 100 bucks tomorrow, and I know I’ll be happy with it, it doesn’t matter if somebody besides me made a 1000 bucks. I did my job fine.
The more we compare ourselves to people, the more we are cutting down opportunities coming our way. Yes, they wouldn’t do it, but why don’t you? They are somewhere in life where they think they need to go for a higher approach, but if you want to get there, you need to start somewhere, right? Even if it means taking the smallest steps coming your way. For example, I know people that would write a better blog than me on this topic, but I am atleast writing one, right? That’s the perspective you need.
I know it is difficult to not compare ourselves to people because of the trendy “toxic hustle culture” everybody has been promoting. Yes, you want to keep doing something better, but why don’t take a step back, relax, be grateful and then take a bigger jump. That way, you did it the right way.