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Imagine Groundhog Day – except he’s naked.
A great idea for an SNL digital short, right? But for Netflix’s newest feature length comedy? The excitement wears thin in the first 15 minutes, at which point you’re left with nothing more than a repetitive mess.
In Naked, Marlon Wayans plays Rob Anderson, an unmotivated part-time substitute teacher who is about to marry the girl of his dreams. As he and Megan (played by the always amazing Regina Hall) prepare for their ceremony, it seems that the nuptials will be thwarted by either the bride’s controlling father, the fiancé’s ex-boyfriend, or the maid of honor. But it turns out the actual threat to this wedding is Rob’s desperate need for personal growth, and … a time-warping elevator sent from God?
Naked is all about timing (and butts). After he gets trapped inside the cosmic elevator, pantsless Rob has exactly one hour to marry the love of his life before the church bells ring and send him right back to square one. Square one, for some reason, is lying on the elevator floor completely naked. The importance of time is central to this film, which is why I can’t get past the INSANE timing of the first act. Listen to this: The afternoon before his wedding in Charleston, Rob is lazily teaching English on the Upper East Side. That evening, he flies to Charleston with his wife – where they immediately have their rehearsal dinner and then a bachelorette party for the bride / a night of drinking for the groom. Then the very next morning is their wedding! That’s an unbelievably crazy turnaround, right? I don’t know. I’ve never been married. Maybe everything is supposed to happen in an inconceivably quick 18-hour window.
The film clearly does not care about establishing a realistic world. It just wants to get Wayans in that magic elevator and in the nude. In order to rush us to our inevitable, clothes-optional end, the secondary characters catch you up with some of the laziest expository dialogue I’ve ever heard. One example: “What is Megan’s handsome, successful ex-boyfriend doing here?”
I’m not necessarily saying this movie isn’t worth your time. Marlon Wayans is a seasoned comedic performer. And when this movie finds a funny bit, Wayans shines. I laughed out loud many, many times through the film. I also checked to see how much time was left many, many times. At one point, when I thought the film was finally wrapping up, I learned that there were 50 minutes remaining. Like Rob’s enchanted elevator, this movie just won’t let you leave.
Also, Regina Hall gets all the credit in the world for wearing a full bridal costume for a straight hour and a half of screen time. She had to sit in that damn dress for multiple days of shooting what was essentially the same reaction from her character over and over. That is some dedication for such a loosely bound story. It makes one wish that Hall were given the chance to lead Naked. Her comedic talents are not utilized in the limiting role of upset bride and having Hall in the elevator might finally get us beyond the stereotype that naked women are exclusively sexy and naked men are exclusively hilarious. Or maybe Hall was offered the role and didn’t want to appear naked 50 times in order to get her Netflix check. Good call.
The film eventually rewards its viewers – with some personal growth from Rob’s character, sure – but mainly with a shocking guest appearance by THE Brian McKnight. Naked is not funny enough, deep enough, or short enough to be a good film. But McKnight’s surprise appearance may make it worth a weekend stream. Just be ready to fight through a bunch of penis jokes.
