Clicking on this article lets me know something off the bat.
Either you are curious about ways to step up your game and understand new methods to navigate today’s dating market.
Or
Today’s dating market has left you feeling behind and that you’re navigating one of the more difficult times in your dating history.
You can keep your choice of those options to yourself. There is no shame in feeling either way.
I don’t write soft-hitting articles that refuse to address the problems I hear from real people’s mouths every day.
There are those that say that men don’t get much attention anymore. But I don’t see it that way. I believe that in a free-flowing world with no structure, it’s time we reel that back and set some standards for ourselves.
Before you feel let off the hook, it is up to you to not only create standards for yourself but also be able to enforce them.
I know men with strong stances on what they’re looking for and crumble like a cookie when put to the test.
Let’s tighten up and look at some minimal standards you should set for yourself. I promise you that implementing these will lead to success.
Remember, this is for YOU.
…
No means no
I am not making light of the phrase by throwing it in the subject line.
No means no in every sense of the phrase.
When it applies to your own personal standards, it needs to represent a zero-tolerance policy for anything.
The first standard you have to set for yourself is being able to walk away from any situation that does not serve you and the boundaries you have in place.
I am going to be brutally honest here. Most men create standards that align with what women want or ones they are willing to budge on when they meet a girl they are attracted to.
Tighten up.
Having the ability to walk away from what doesn’t serve you can work for two purposes:
- You will challenge yourself to have values and moral standing that you will apply to all facets of life.
- It will show a woman how highly you value yourself. No woman will respect you when you don’t display your self-perceived value.
You have to see yourself as the prize. You are integrating someone into your life. If you feel like it’s the other way around, you have not hit the peak of your evolution.
…
First 48
I am going to say it flat out.
Everything in life moves fast these days. That applies to the dating market as well.
The first 48 hours is the window to show yourself in a good light and impress the woman you want to pursue.
Women have all the options in the world, and you have to stand out.
It’s ironic because one of the ways to stand out is not trying to. That’s because pursuing and chasing are two different things.
The second standard is to never chase a woman and “convince her” that you are right for her. It will never end well.
The mistake most men make is trying to use their lifelong resume as some tool to show a girl he’s worthy.
You will overthink every text or message you send, attempting to use the perfect words to get her attention.
You make yourself available at the drop of a hat to have an opportunity to see her.
Kill all that.
You will see the difference in results when you learn to pursue and not chase.
Dating is about looking for reciprocated interest.
When there isn’t a two-way street of active communication and effort, walk away.
You never want to be in a position where you are more infatuated with a woman than she is about you in return. You will chase her for validation.
The only thing you should be chasing is your purpose and the goals you want to accomplish.
The mirror
Who are you, and what do you do?
If the answer to that question is your name and occupation, I need you to return to the drawing board.
The last rule is to create a standard for yourself, who you are, and what you want to become.
Women love confidence and ambition. Men hear that and turn into arrogant versions of themselves because they don’t understand what it means.
Confidence is someone who knows who they are and stands on the morals and values they built.
Ambition is a man who is in pursuit of the top-tier result of his goals.
When I ask who you are, it should represent your worldview and how you navigate it.
When I ask what you do, the answer should be how your behaviors and actions help the world.
That applies to dating because women have to weed through robotic men who either bore them to death or aren’t in pursuit of anything out of the norm.
…
The “problems” in the dating market are not all about these women fellas. It’s time or us to tighten up as well.
…
If you liked this article, let’s backtrack in time and see 3 things you can do to avoid issues before we even get to the talking phase in my free guide here.
If you enjoy reading stories like this one, sign up to become a Medium member here and get unlimited access to stories on Medium. If you sign up using my link, I’ll earn a small commission. Thanks!
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
—–
Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash