Ethos & St. Andrew's: Selected Essays from 2013-2019 by St. Andrew’s School

Ethos & St. Andrew’s

DANIEL T. ROACH, JR.

Selected Essays, 2013–2019 Daniel T. Roach, Jr.

MERRILL M. STENBECK HEAD OF SCHOOL

Ethos & St. Andrew’s SELECTED ESSAYS, 2013-2019

DANIEL T. ROACH, JR.

Merrill M. Stenbeck Head of School

S T.   A N D R E W ’ S S C H O O L Middletown, Delaware

Â© June 2019

Introduction Thank you for taking the time to read these talks given over the past ten years of my career as Head of School at St. Andrew’s. Writing about education and St. Andrew’s has put me in conversation with the remarkable changes we have witnessed in America and the world during this time. I have always believed that education must both respond to and provide perspective on the challenges, crises, and opportunities of our time. I have been blessed to lead a school that has quite intentionally sought to re-define and re-invent the very notion of a private academy. We believe at St. Andrew’s that we can partner with courageous and inspirational groups throughout the world who fight every day for peace, justice, integrity, and compassion. We believe we must respond to the madness and distortion of hate crimes, white supremacy marches, global warming, and growing polarization within our society. We believe in peace, goodness, mercy, hope, and redemption. We believe not only that one life can make a difference; we believe that one school can make change, enlightenment, and progress come alive in the world. Tad Roach Merrill M. Stenbeck Head of School

Table of Contents H E A D O F S C H O O L’ S R E M A R K S What We Must Do for St. Andrew’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Your Best Advice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Grace & Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Building a Human Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Election 2016 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Banishing the Forces of Darkness & Hate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Head of School’s Statement on Events in Charlottesville . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Hatred Will Not Replace Us . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 What We Are All About As A School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 It Is Time for Human Grandeur . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 “We Are Doing This for Generations Yet Unborn.” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 The Goal of “Aliveness” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61 Head of School’s Statement on the Tragedy in Parkland . . . . . . . . . . . 64 The Odyssey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 A St. Andrew’s Response to Fragmentation and Chaos . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 Head of School’s Statement on Tree of Life Synagogue Tragedy . . . . . 77 Fighting for Financial Aid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Introduction of William S. Speers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84 Heroism & Silence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 MEMORIAL REMARKS William M. “Willie” Maerov ’15 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Jonathan B. O’Brien . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 H. Hickman Rowland ’58 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

Head of Schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Remarks

AU G U S T 2 2 , 2 0 1 3 O P E N I N G F A C U LT Y M E E T I N G

What We Must Do for St. Andrew’s “Make no mistake: this will be challenging, demanding work for all of us.”

chools have distinct moments in their histories, times when they feel stretched, challenged, inspired or discouraged. Schools to a degree reflect the joy, confidence, anxiety and values of our national and global culture, but most of all, schools reflect the goodness, brilliance, maturity and grace of its faculty. Schools never stand still. They either reach for or define new levels or definitions of excellence or fade into periods of mediocrity, doubt and fear. The move from excellence to mediocrity can happen in a flash, especially in a 21st century world of rapid change and pressures of every kind. As we begin the 2013-14 school year, St. Andrew’s has reached a moment of enormous opportunity. This year represents an historic phase in the evolution of this unique school. It is now in our hands whether or not we will respond to the challenge or squander the opportunity we have worked so hard to develop. The moment arises, first of all, from the good work St. Andrew’s has done as a school and community. Our duel focus on cultivating the intellect and inspiring the spirit of our students has led us to the development of a school culture that affirms and transforms students and faculty alike. Rather than surrendering to a culture that lowers expectations for student work, ownership, stewardship and maturity, St. Andrew’s has charged students to lead in the classroom, dorm and school and engage in the most profound and complex issues facing our nation and world. At a time when the media, parents and students often see education as a commodity, St. Andrew’s has asserted, emphasized and defended the principle that a great education deepens the very foundation of our civic life, our democracy and our place in a global community. As we studied the art of rescue last year, we realized that the most powerful 3

influence in a world in need of peace, reconciliation and repair is indeed a school. St. Andrew’s has sought to enact a public purpose and represent a force in the “growing good of the world.” Your job this year is to take these strengths, these ambitions, these commitments and build on them, strengthen them, invigorate them, enact them and fight for them. I ask you today to cultivate in our students a deep and lasting desire for learning. I ask you to excel in “the development of the expressive and analytical skills necessary for effective communication, judicious consideration of multiple points of view and meaningful lives as engaged citizens.” I ask you today to inspire our students’ hearts and spirit and encourage in them a “commitment to justice, peace and respect for every human being.” I ask you to do this work with passion, grace, resolve, determination and faith—faith in our collective ability to help our students see their full potential.

To Be of Use

By Marge Piercy The people I love the best  jump into work head first  without dallying in the shallows  and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.  They seem to become natives of that element,  the black sleek heads of seals  bouncing like half submerged balls. I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,  who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,  who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,  who do what has to be done, again and again. I want to be with people who submerge  in the task, who go into the fields to harvest   and work in a row and pass the bags along,  who stand in the line and haul in their places,  who are not parlor generals and field deserters  but move in a common rhythm  when the food must come in or the fire be put out. The work of the world is common as mud.  Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.  But the thing worth doing well done  has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.  Greek amphoras for wine or oil,  Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums  4

but you know they were made to be used.   The pitcher cries for water to carry  and a person for work that is real. During my last class of the year last spring, I asked each member of my junior English section to read that poem (sent to me by my daughter Hadley), and one by one, they read the poem in its entirety: Dominique, Bella, Ysabel, Ben, Eunice, Brandon, Jay, Nathan, Clay, Noah, Joseph, Colin, Ryan. The reading was powerful as each student read and through his/her voice, perspective, personality and spirit brought new life and vitality to the poem. The reading was my way of saying thank you to a group of students who day-by-day brought great energy, passion and vitality to my life and taught me the power of education all over again. But the poem served too as a reminder that our class had affirmed in our readings and essays the power of the human spirit to persevere, to express collective courage, resilience and resolve in the face of evil or adversity. I offer the poem to you as a way of expressing my belief that we cannot move St. Andrew’s unless we as adults “jump into work head first”—we cannot “dally in the shadows”; we cannot be “parlor generals and field deserters.” We are in this work and in this mission together. We must “submerge in the task,” “celebrate work that is real and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.” We are after all natives of this element, sure in our understanding of the task that lies before us. We notice in the poem that the speaker expresses love for people who work with this spirit of energy, grace, abandon and tenacity: she wants to be with these people, and she is in awe of their ability to discern and master the rhythm of a collective commitment to sustainability or rescue. They are not solitary workers—rather, they intuitively connect with others and commit to the shared tasks that must be done well. Over the course of the summer, as I thought about the work we do, I have realized that we both need inspiration and a deep abiding work ethic to do the work we need to get done at St. Andrew’s. I have also realized that we must be a team, a collection of colleagues who embrace the best in our humanity and discard all that is mean, petty and superficial. The inspiration I speak of comes from our ability to connect with one another and with our students: it is this expression of passion, energy and resolve that our students need to feel in every class, practice and dorm meeting. It emerges in the way we communicate our own intellectual vitality, excitement and commitment. It reflects our understanding of and appreciation of the students and the world as they experience it. We have learned that high expectations and a culture of encouragement, faith and generosity of spirit lead to a culture of infinite possibility and promise at school. But that passion must be equaled by a work ethic that commits completely and wholeheartedly to the goals of the broad educational program at St. Andrew’s. You can be gifted, and brilliant, and clever and personable, but you need to commit every day to assess authentic student work. You need to provide multiple opportunities for students 5

to demonstrate mastery, and you must stay with your exemplary standards until your students make the progress they need to make in your discipline. You may be a popular teacher or presence in the school, but you need to commit every day to the rituals that define us and hold us together as a community. You commit to family-style meals, Chapel, school meetings and the very essence of the life of the community. You show up. You participate. You engage. You set up one-on-one appointments. You create a family among your advisees. You tie your advisor work to the highest aspirations of the school. You might have a desire to be a good advisor, but you need to commit the time, energy and attention to your advisees, particularly when they seem remote and distant from you. I worry about complacency, mediocrity and entitlement in the world of private school. I want to be sure right now that we realize the opportunity we have before us to work with this student body, this faculty and staff and this community. I want us to adopt today the same ethic of high expectations and resolve created in the most ambitious public schools in the country: schools that teach students without the advantages we or our students have; schools that remind students every day that because they are in this particular classroom and in this particular place, they work hard and achieve feats of learning every day. I want us to remind ourselves that you and St. Andrew’s do not have to settle—we can and must use the power of “unanxious expectation” and the belief in the agency and power of our students to raise their work, their spirit, their humanity to new heights through the power of our ultimate belief in them and in our pride of the school. The work we do takes time and patience and flexibility and creativity and love, and to do this work as a faculty, you have to collaborate. We will succeed not through individual acts of brilliance but through a shared commitment to teaching excellence and collegiality. You can squander a historic opportunity to create a greater school by allowing a culture of narcissism, sarcasm and contempt to breed in a faculty. You can squander a school’s culture if teachers mistrust students, discourage students or abuse students. You can squander a school’s culture if teachers allow jealousy, envy and hatred to infect their hearts. You can squander a school’s culture if a culture of complaint takes over in the adult role models in the community. In contrast, you can lift a school’s culture by actively investing in and committing to the success of your colleagues. I make no apologies about the nature, depth and complexity of the work we are called to do. We are fighting for the very life of our school, our colleagues and our students. In the next five to ten years loud and insistent voices will argue that schools like ours are no longer necessary, affordable or relevant. You can hear these voices all across the spectrum of educational institutions as students and families weigh decisions regarding private school and college. With competition coming from a variety of new directions, with economic concerns limiting the numbers of families that believe they can even consider private school or college, we will need to develop ways of expressing, articulating and enacting a vision of just what residential schools and colleges do that no one else can do.

In a recent talk, Harvard Professor of Education Howard Gardner identifies five crucial characteristics that give the residential school and college a reminder and vision of what excellence will look like in the 21st century residential school and college: 1) “Students have the opportunity to work with men and women with a deep passion for their disciplines.” At St. Andrew’s, we celebrate a teaching tradition that calls upon the family to put its full attention to the goal of student learning. Unlike colleagues in the world of undergraduate education, St. Andrew’s teachers focus only on the quality of their teaching, the exemplary quality of student work and the cultivation of relationships with students that introduce them to the work of artists, scientists, historians and other academic disciplines. Above all, what students see here is a faculty deeply interested and committed to the cultivation of student learning, curiosity, creativity and commitment. 2) “Students have the opportunity to live with peers from different backgrounds and with different experiences and aspirations.” Gardner emphasizes the power of the residential college and schools’ ability to replicate and honor the national and global diversity of the 21st century on our campuses. When we live with others, study with others, break bread with others, participate in the arts and athletics with others, we begin to develop new ways of honoring our differences and sharing our human aspirations of dignity, fulfillment and love. The St. Andrew’s opportunity offers a community small enough to develop coherence, ownership and responsibility of all its members and a financial aid program and national and international admissions reach to offer all students a rich and diverse educational experience. 3) “Students have the opportunity to receive intelligent, personalized feedback on works and projects with opportunity for face-to-face discussion with teachers and peers.” Here Gardner identifies the crucial commitment we make as teachers in each one of our classes. What separates great teachers from others is their ability and commitment to offer specific evaluation of student work every day. Our commitment is to design superb assessments, tests, paper assignments, labs that ask students to apply what they have learned to new and challenging problems and questions. We believe in the effectiveness of rapid, personalized feedback and opportunities for students to have multiple opportunities to exhibit mastery. We believe that the opportunity for students to meet with teachers outside of the classroom context leads to deeper engagement and stronger academic performance.

4) “Most importantly, we work together for the creation and maintenance of a community embodying the best of human values: intellectual, social, ethical. Recognizing that the outside world falls short but that a better community is possible is a critical lesson.” St. Andrew’s today offers teachers, staff members and students the opportunity to be part of an enterprise, a vision, a mission larger than ourselves. We have the independence, autonomy and responsibility to reimagine the very notion of the American high school and boarding school and challenge ourselves to define and strive for new levels of excellence in a human community. We know from our own lives that communities and specific places can call us to be better people than we normally are. These places are infused with a spirit of goodness, of intellectual excitement, of deep connections to the local, national and international communities. They develop a vision for what is good, what is possible and what is necessary for the cultivation of a good society. This community model is what we call the ethos of St. Andrew’s or the spirit of St. Andrew’s: it is the voice of the campus, the voice of the Chapel, the voice of the faculty and staff, the voice of the student body and alumni—it calls us to embrace a new vibrant spirit of collaboration, connection and imagination. 5) “Develop and maintain a community that embodies the most admirable values of society: become shareholders in the community, create norms together, make sure they are known, maintained, enforced and revised.” Gardner speaks here of the ways exemplary residential communities honor and respect and affirm and protect and defend their sacred values. For St. Andrew’s, we work to honor the humanity of the school, the individual and diverse students, staff members and faculty members who make up our school. We reject the alcohol/drug culture and the ravages that accompany its infiltration into the world of schools. We fight to articulate, define and expect a culture of honesty, integrity and trust within the school. And finally, we invite students to be essential members of our Honor and Discipline Committees when students make mistakes in these areas. I believe Gardner’s five principles remind us that if we can commit to excelling in the art of teaching, the cultivation of diverse communities, the full exploration of teacher assessment and personalized evaluation systems, the cultivation of a unique and distinctive school ethos, and the daily, monthly and yearly articulation and defense of our values, we will be an institution of inspiration, hope and transformation. But make no mistake: this will be challenging, demanding work for all of us. Of course, there are other reasons why this is the year of opportunity for St. Andrew’s. We have a great VI Form, ready to lead, eager to take the school as far as we and they want it to go. This summer, in a letter to our seniors, I shared excerpts from Wendell Berry’s 8

Jefferson Lecture at the University of Virginia. Here, Berry makes an eloquent case for the power of imagination in our lives: To imagine is to see most clearly, familiarly and understandingly with the eyes, but also to see inwardly, with the mind’s eye. It is to see not passively, but with a force of vision and even visionary force. Imagination thrives on contact, on tangible connection. For humans to have a responsible relationship to the world, they must imagine their places in it. To have a place, to live and belong in a place, to live from a place without destroying it, we must imagine it. By imagination we see it illuminated by its own unique character and by our love for it. By imagination we recognize with sympathy the fellow members, human and nonhuman, with whom we share our place. By that local experience we see the need to grant a sort of preemptive sympathy to all the fellow members, the neighbors, with whom we share the world. Berry suggests that imagination involves not idle day dreaming or fanciful wishes for some form of happiness; rather, it is an energetic commitment to developing a vision of what a life, a school, an institution might become and might be. St. Andrew’s helps our students see what might be possible in their lives, their community, their nation and the world, and true to Berry’s words, this concept of imagination ultimately depends on our deep connection with one another and with this place. Because imagination means that we become more and more aware of the needs of the human and natural world lying outside our own immediate and egotistical obsessions, we find ways to honor one another and honor our environment in the spirit of “preemptive sympathy.” If preemptive war argues that we must meet outside threats with immediate violence, “preemptive sympathy” suggests that love and empathy be expressed and enacted even before we get to know a person. We extend hospitality, kindness, compassion and love without precondition. We will challenge our seniors, our community and ourselves to embrace imagination and “preemptive sympathy” at St. Andrew’s this year.

OCTOBER 19, 2013 PA R E N T S W E E K E N D

Your Best Advice “Try to be kinder.” —George Saunders

his morning, I want to talk about the art of teaching and parenting by reflecting on what we all might call good advice. I am doing a yearlong exploration of responses to the question: “What’s the best piece of advice you ever received in your life?” I am interested in this question because answers reveal so much of what our mentors believe about life and what we, through experience, have learned to be true. As a teacher of literature, I am always on the lookout for moments of insight delivered by characters who somehow embody an author’s most passionate beliefs about the meaning of life. So let’s start with one of the best undergraduate convocation addresses given in 2013—George Saunders’ remarks at Syracuse University on kindness. He begins his talk with reflections on things he regrets in his life: In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it. So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?”—that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.” 10

Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it. And then—they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing. One day she was there, next day she wasn’t. End of story. Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her. But still. It bothers me.   So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded…sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth? Those who were kindest to you, I bet. It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder. So there it is, beautifully expressed and articulated: “Try to be kinder,” words delivered by a man whose short story collection, The Tenth of December, helps us understand the quest for meaning and connection that so defines 21st century life. We connect with Saunders because we can remember that Ellen in our lives: we can remember having the empathy and sensitivity to understand that the treatment she bore was offensive, destructive and cruel, and that our reaction was so pathetically mild, sensible and reserved. We honor Saunders’ advice because he has suffered; he has felt the sting of remorse and sadness and self-criticism that lead him to new insights and commitments in his life. The advice is authentic because it comes from a place within Saunders’ spirit that is not proud, arrogant, condescending or holy. He, like us, is humble, fallible, regretful. Here’s a second example: my siblings and I recently asked our dying father the question: “What’s the best piece of advice you experienced in your life?” My father remembered a moment when he was seven—the day or two before his own father died. His father gave this advice to his wife, my grandmother—he asked her firmly and patiently to please marry a second time. This was an act of love, of generosity, of empathy and grace as a dying man understood both the emptiness he would leave behind and the need of a beloved wife to love, openly and fully in her life. It was the kind of kindness we see in Saunders’ speech when he says to the Syracuse seniors:

And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. Saunders argues that the best part of growing older is growing more kind, more patient, more loving. We will no longer be defined by how we see our lives, our possessions, our concerns, our triumphs. We will see our lives through the glorious freedom of love. (And by the way, Saunders instructs us as a school and you as parents to dedicate ourselves to a simple and powerful proposition as we work so hard to challenge, educate, inspire and cultivate our students and your children: Saunders asserts: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s confusion in each one of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure —seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life. These most effective anti-selfishness medicines often come from living in family and in community as we ask children to play significant roles in the health and welfare of something larger than themselves.) Carolyn Matthews, alumna of St. Andrew’s, physician in Dallas, trustee, parent, responded to my question about what was the best advice she received with one of her mother’s sayings: “Actions speak louder than words”—and one of her father’s words of advice: “Be yourself.” Both of these insights develop a coherent countercultural argument—to be oneself is to refuse to allow the wider culture to define one’s interests, personality, values or beliefs. It is an assertion of the power of authenticity and individuality in a world that so often seeks to make us conform to belief systems and value systems that are superficial and problematic. And the reason actions speak louder than words is that we reveal our character, our sense of self, by how we act, engage and participate in the world. Words, promises, are cheap— actions that reflect courage, honesty, integrity and kindness are authentic. For another parent, trustee and physician, Annie Egan, the best piece of advice also involved an individual assertion of courage and independence. Dr. Egan wrote: “get out of your comfort zone regularly. The more time you spend there, the less uncomfortable it becomes and the larger your comfort zone will be. Keep in mind comfort zones can be physical, intellectual, academic, etc.” We know there is something about parenting and educating that makes us settle and look for comfort zones, especially in the high stakes years before college. Rather than focusing on being or becoming our true selves, rather than concentrating on actions rather than words, students can drift into spheres where they play it safe and seek only to tread water rather than dive into the full pursuit of a passion. Dr. Egan is right: the habit of 12

breaking out of the comfort zone will enable our children to enlarge that conception of what they ultimately can pursue in their lives. For parent and trustee Tim Belk, the best words of advice came from his uncle, who said to him: “You’ve got to learn to take a hit, get knocked down, pick yourself back up, and keep going.” This assertion of the value of tenacity, hard work and resilience lies at the very core of the St. Andrew’s educational philosophy and approach. In a world obsessed with keeping in one’s comfort zone, in a world where students fear expressing or enacting or exploring a passion, the very notion of defeat, cowardice or even struggling can seem unacceptable. But as Tim pointed out, the truth is that “we learn more during periods of adversity than periods of success”—we have to deliberately bear witness to our own moments of struggle, failure and doubt in order to give our students the confidence they need. For parent and trustee Arthur Miller, the best piece of advice echoed the words describing resilience and determination. Arthur described a summer apprenticeship to the Princeton University Boatwright, Nelson Cox. At a time of wooden boats that required intensive maintenance, Mr. Cox was considered the best Boatwright of his era—he served as the Boatwright for the 1964 Olympic team in Tokyo. Arthur writes: His saying, repeated over and over that summer, has stuck with me: Think carefully about what you want to do, then do it right. No shortcuts. Arthur brilliantly captures the essence of the very concept of work—it is a definition that reminds us that at its best, work is a sacred calling, one that asks us for our best effort at all times. It is a commitment to excellence, to exemplary craftsmanship and execution of a goal. For those of us who teach or mentor students, this commitment to our work means that our students will in Ken Bain’s words be able to develop remarkable feats of learning, remarkable feats of empathy, remarkable feats of kindness in the course of their careers. But these moments emerge not from gifted, natural talent alone—they must emerge from a commitment to excellence that pervades the school’s culture. For alumna, trustee and 2014 graduation speaker Cristina Stenbeck, her best piece of advice came from her father who said to his daughter: “Treat people on the way up as you yourself would like to be treated on your way down.” Mr. Stenbeck realized the cyclical nature of success and fame in our lives, and he chose to focus, along with Saunders, on the essence of our relationships with others. It is easy, he suggests, to become proud, arrogant, divided from the world once one buys into a culture of success that allows one to live apart and away from society. Stenbeck reminds his daughter that there will be times when you will yearn for the graciousness, sensitivity and respect you once shared with others with whom you live and work. When you line such advice up and consider it carefully, you quickly see its applicability to our lives as educators and parents. We can strive to teach kindness by embodying it in

our own lives, and by urging our students to hurry up in their relinquishment of narcissism and their embrace of love. We can as a school teach students the power of being themselves—identifying passions, and acting upon them with freedom, spontaneity and energy. In so doing, they will enlarge their comfort zones and become more attuned to the rich diversity of the world that awaits them. We can teach our students that anything they pursue is worth doing well—that the creation of a mental and physical discipline that rejects cutting corners and shoddy work will lead them to deep personal and professional success. We can teach students that failure and struggle are tests of their own strength, values and resilience. And finally, we can teach our students humility, for even as they flourish and succeed they must not lose their ability to connect and care for all those around them. What’s the best piece of advice I have ever received, either through the world of literature or the world of education? I’ll highlight two—from literature, I return all the time to the great line from Hamlet: “The readiness is all”—it is an expression that captures Hamlet’s new understanding of the paradox of his life. If he wants to live and fight and defend, and assert and honor and sacrifice, he must prepare and leave his anxious, obsessive and damaging desire for control behind. Readiness means not that we control what happens in our life, but rather that we control how resilient, powerful, defiant and human we can be in a crisis. As for educational insight, I always turn to the late Ted Sizer who wrote these words about schools: Good schools are thoughtful places. The people in them are known. The units are small enough to be coherent communities of friends. Amenities are observed. There are quiet places available as well as places for socializing. No one is ridiculed. No one is the servant of another. The work is shared. The entire place is thoughtful. Everything in its routines meets a standard of common sense and civility. Welcome to this good school, St. Andrew’s. We are honored to work with you and your amazing sons and daughters.

SEPTEMBER 13, 2015 O L D S T. A N N E ’ S C H U R C H

Grace & Forgiveness “You create grace at St. Andrew’s when you listen, when you share, when you express joy and exultation in another person’s success, when you cry and grieve not for yourself, but for someone else.”

n true St. Andrew’s fashion, we begin with appreciations as we gather at Old St. Anne’s Church. First, we are guests of the leadership and congregation of St. Anne’s parish in Middletown. Working with our Chaplains Jay Hutchinson and Dave DeSalvo, the Reverend Russ Bonrer, and the St. Anne’s community welcome us here for two services each year, held on the first and the last Sundays of our School year. We honor St. Anne’s by taking good care of their church and the sacred ground that surrounds this beautiful sanctuary. We join them in doing good work in Middletown and the State of Delaware. Mrs. Gahagan joins us today for this opening service. Mrs. Gahagan is my mentor, leader, advisor, and friend, the Chair of St. Andrew’s Board of Trustees during much of my tenure as headmaster and the granddaughter of the Founder of St. Andrew’s Alexis Felix duPont. She and Mr. Gahagan had two wonderful granddaughters graduate from St. Andrew’s over the past five years, Grace, now a teacher in India, and Amanda, just graduated from Babson College. Mrs. Gahagan’s family is responsible for launching the miracle of this School, and Mrs. Gahagan is the person in my life who best exemplifies the goodness, grace, generosity, and spirit of the School we all love. We thank Mrs. Gahagan for all she means to us and welcome her to Old St. Anne’s. I draw inspiration from the two services we have here each year. We enter this historic church today as a new school community, full of promise, hope, and aspiration, but still in an early tentative stage, especially for our new students who today complete their first week and now begin to understand the full potential of a year here. In May, when we return to Old St. Anne’s, our school community will be whole, completely integrated and focused on the mission, spirit, and momentum of our year together. New students will no longer 15

be new—you will have experienced nine months of life, challenge, and opportunity. You will have enduring friendships, important responsibilities, and many accomplishments to celebrate. And on that day when we feel so complete, so full of the St. Andrew’s spirit, we will be preparing to say goodbye to the seniors who made the year possible, beautiful, authentic, and affirming. To quote Hamlet, “the interim” is ours—nine months to explore and enact Bishop Wright’s definitions of love and mercy, nine months to practice “generating clever solutions, personally helping others, negotiating with others,” skills Mr. Finch brilliantly enumerated on Friday at Convocation, nine months to respond to my challenge that St. Andrew’s go on the offensive in its assertion of goodness, intelligence, and kindness in the world, and finally, nine months to create and sustain grace in this community. God’s grace or the grace we ourselves create leads to acts of love and mercy, and therefore, I am fascinated by the peace, serenity, and clarity of grace in our lives. We need, I think, to learn how to access it, pray for it, express it in our lives. The word, the concept found new expressions through tragedy and unspeakable violence this summer in Charleston, South Carolina. A white supremacist and terrorist, infected and ignited and distorted by racial hatred and animus, gained entry to the Episcopal AME Church that itself proudly represented the heroic and triumphant and difficult and dangerous journey of people of color in America towards a dream of equality and freedom. President Obama described the church’s history this way: … it was built by blacks seeking liberty, burned to the ground because its founder sought to end slavery, only to rise up again, a Phoenix from these ashes. When there were laws banning all-black church gatherings, services happened here anyway, in defiance of unjust laws. When there was a righteous movement to dismantle Jim Crow, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. preached from its pulpit, and marches began from its steps. As a Christian community, the Bible Study group expressed in the most natural way possible the love Bishop Wright described on Wednesday night: they welcomed the young white man into the sacred sanctuary of the Church, and he sat with the group for over an hour, waiting apparently for the right moment to strike. We later learned that the kindness and peace of the Bible Study group made him hesitate from the fatal execution of his plan. However, there would be no mercy that night. The absolute hatred won out, and the shooter massacred nine members of the AME Bible Study group: The Reverend Clementa Pinckney, Cynthia Hurd, Susie Jackson, Ethel Lance, DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Tywanza Sanders, Daniel L. Simons, Sr., Sharanda Coleman-Singleton, Myra Thompson. Days later, after the shooter was arrested, relatives of the victims addressed the shooter over video, with a national and global television audience looking on. And this miraculously is what we heard:

I forgive you, Nadine Collier, the daughter of 70-year-old Ethel Lance, said at the hearing, her voice breaking with emotion. You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never ever hold her again. But I forgive you. God have mercy on your soul. We welcomed you Wednesday night in our Bible Study with open arms, said Felicia Sanders, her voice trembling. Tywanza Sanders was my son. But Tywanza was my hero … may God have mercy on your soul. I acknowledge that I am very angry, said the sister of DePayne MiddletonDoctor: ‘But one thing that DePayne always enjoined in our family … is she taught me that we are the family that love built. We have no room for hating, so we have to forgive.’ I pray God on your soul. In his eulogy, the President sought to explain the source of these beautiful, miraculous, and radical words of forgiveness. And he did so by thinking very hard about Christian grace: his ruminations began with the words of the families, words so astonishing precisely because they were perfectly Christian; he thought of the grace Reverend Pinckney himself explored in his sermons; the President returned to his hymnal and found Amazing Grace: he recited, and he sang, and he thought about the miracle of moving from ignorance to wisdom, from violence to peace, from bigotry to fellowship, from slavery to liberation, from hatred to love. He said: According to the Christian tradition, grace is not earned. Grace is not merited. It is not something we deserve. Rather, grace is the free and benevolent favor of God. We see this, hear this, feel this in chapel or at Commencement when the Bishop or our Chaplains bless us, signaling the gift of peace and love and forgiveness to each one of us, no matter our condition, moral, ethical, spiritual, or physical. We see the grace of God bestowed upon students and faculty and alumni in baptisms, confirmations, weddings; I watch each Sunday as a student or adult crosses his/her arms across his/her chest to signal a request, a desire, a need for a blessing. It is a beautiful, eloquent, and humble expression of our need for the miracle of love, spirit, and grace in our lives. It is important to understand that the source of this Christian heroism, grace, and spirit in Charleston was not only divine, but human. The depth of this church, this congregation’s commitment to freedom, to dignity, to the journey from enslavement to heroic demonstration of human dignity and love, was the work of generations. It was a collective effort as those in the 21st century present honored and re-interpreted the grace of those who preceded them. Grace emerged through week after week of readings, prayers, services all exploring ways to honor and enact a religion of sacrifice, and hope, and service. With grace comes an obligation to live, to work, to serve, to witness, and to sacrifice. This gift of grace manifested in the words of the grieving families radiated not only to the 17

shooter, but to the nation and the world. This grace served as an argument for love, for compassion, for dialogue, for compromise, for goodness, for humanity. The President’s words: God’s given us the chance where we’ve been lost to find our best selves. We may not have earned this grace with our rancor and complacency and shortsightedness and fear of each other, but we got it all the same. He gave it to us anyway. He’s once more given us grace. As we seek to create love and mercy in our School and in the world, we know we have two remarkable forces behind us: God’s grace that calls us to be strong, courageous, and bold—in today’s reading: to lose our lives for God’s sake rather to live in fear, in isolation, passive before the challenges and human responsibilities of our lives. And we embrace the grace we ourselves create by daily, intentional expressions of kindness, concern, and respect. You create grace at St. Andrew’s when you listen, when you honor a perspective different than your own, when you share, when you express joy and exultation in another person’s success, when you cry and grieve not for yourself but for someone else, when you reject the temptation and the ability to say or do something that is unkind, lacerating, or destructive, when you imagine the needs of others and do something about it. When we return to this church in May, we will ask ourselves how we as a community have grown in love and mercy, how God’s grace has filled us with hope, compassion, and courage through the challenges of a year. We will ask ourselves how we celebrated the gift and grace of a year at St. Andrew’s. We have nine months together: I pray we will truly be “the family that love built.”

OCTOBER 24, 2015 PA R E N T S W E E K E N D

Building a Human Community “Great teaching in the age of information has been distorted and marginalized.”

thank you for sharing the promise, grace, and energy of your sons and daughters with this community. As you know, this particular group of students (your children) have built in two short months a powerful community of learning, kindness, creativity, and respect. Our students derive their goodness, their moral and ethical norms, their generosity from you and your families. That spirit developed through your own family experiences that honored, fought for, sacrificed for, and affirmed education’s role as a foundation for your child. You have taught your sons and daughters so much about the world your families have embraced, endured, and recreated. Our calling is to join in the work and sacrifices you all have made in their lifetimes. You all are the foundation, but yes, school is an important place for our kids. Throughout our adult lives, we have played out our own vision of John McPhee’s book, Waiting for a Ship. Our text is titled, Waiting for a Teacher—we, from kindergarten to college, look for that woman or man who makes all the difference in the life of a child—a person brilliant, illuminating, electric in his/her approach to the work of the classroom, the person who carries the embodiment of creativity, goodness, generosity for your child. For me, such teacher and professor names resonate in my heart and soul: Mrs. Neafach, my first grade public school teacher; Mr. Zeller, my soccer coach in high school; Fred Stocking, my English professor in college; Jim Maddox, my English professor in graduate school; Alvin Kernan, my English professor in graduate school. And, if we are particularly lucky, we will find similar exemplars, role models, and mentors in our professional lives: for me here at St. Andrew’s, those people who changed my life were Jon O’Brien, our third headmaster, Bob Stegeman, Will Speers, and Elizabeth Roach. Taken together, these people changed my life, made me dream bigger dreams, read bigger books, and live with new spirit, intention, and purpose. 19

My job at St. Andrew’s is to surround the best kids in the world with many teachers who will turn their lives, their minds, their aspirations around. And the evidence, collected each year in remarkable anecdotes written by seniors on the eve of their graduation, is that they feel that inspiration, hope, and meaning from each and every department within the School. As you know, a headmaster has a lot on his/her mind these days: the day to day work that Ted Sizer called “keeping school,” the strategic planning designed to chart a new course of strength and renewed and regeneration for the School, admissions, student life, diversity, environmental sustainability, teaching and learning, faculty development, retention and hiring, finances, risk management, development, and public service work. I love and cherish the way these disparate strands come together in a web designed to create a school and community of hope, and of course, I love the way the headmaster position here calls me to work in the center rather than the exterior of our culture. My other particular interest involves the cultivation and strengthening of culture, and that process involves a careful consideration of School mission, faculty spirit, personality, and philosophy of instruction and our students. But to get our culture right, I also try to figure out what is happening on a national and global scale. This morning I want to mount a defense, a provocation for the humanity of education, or more precisely the power of an educational approach that fully honors and exploits the potential of human collaboration, human connection, and human conversation. I make this case today because of technology’s steady march towards eroding or replacing the promise of an educational model that calls us to be in one another’s presence, that calls us to live, to sacrifice in community. We may at first think it is absurd to think that the traditional notion of school as human community, as a place where students and teachers literally live together is in jeopardy in our lifetimes. But as technology and virtual education continue to grow, expand, and attack our fundamental assumptions about teaching and learning, I think it is time to make this case before it is too late. At this point in the 21st century, schools and colleges seek to define a synthesis between the promise of human communities of learning and the contributions of virtual education; yet, we might say metaphorically that technology is a promising, alluring, silent, and at times remarkably annoying houseguest. The problem, it seems to me, is that technology not only plans to stay for more than a weekend; it actually wants to own the house and evict us from the communities and connections we have developed so carefully. Let me explain. As I said at the beginning of my talk, people made all the difference in my life as a student, scholar, athlete, and aspiring leader, and their influence depended on personal connections, experiences, struggles, dilemmas, successes. In her new book, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, Sherry Turkle summarizes an argument high school teachers and college professors are formulating in this age of technology. The problems, as Turkle sees it, involve distraction, multi-tasking, 20

and the destruction of opportunities for deep, sustained thinking and immersion in our relationships, work, and creative efforts. She calls for schools and colleges to develop and cultivate in their students fluency in “hyper attention and deep attention.” We all have experienced this phenomenon in our own lives, as we thought deeply and carefully and creatively about a personal or professional decision, as we read a powerful book, attended a play, or recital. The depth of our concentration and attention makes us lose touch with time, for we become completely engrossed in our work. Athletes call these moments being in the zone: the game, they say, slows down, the rim (if it is basketball) gets bigger, the preparation time and vision of the court (if it is tennis) slows: the mind and body are one—performance peaks until something disrupts this magical moment. Those of us who write know that the very process of creating, revising, and editing depends on moments when suddenly, unexpectedly, stilted writing, sloppy thinking changes into prose that is promising, coherent, and illuminating. We look up at the clock and find that hours have passed. Unfortunately, the only way to develop these personal, intellectual, artistic, and athletic experiences is to practice—practice both the skill and the attention. In the modern age, we may be well on our way to this island of attention, awareness, epiphany, creativity, but the very presence and proximity of the disturber next to us may well pull us away and destroy the flow of the moment. We now have studies, data, reports that tell us that the ever-present availability and insistence upon information and communication is paradoxically disrupting our ability to live, to think, and to connect in the sacred human world. Turkle cites the work of Marianne Wolf, Cognitive Neuroscientist at Tufts University, who argues that a “life lived on-line makes deeper attention harder to sustain.” At Harvard Law School, Professor Carol Steiker now forbids technology in her classroom, asking at the beginning of class to have laptops closed: she asks students to use handwritten notes, for she understands that taking notes on a computer leads to idle transcription at best, and distracted transcription at worst; with computers closed, students take notes the old fashioned way, and as they write they think, they synthesize, they hear with delight and appreciation what Molly Worth of UNC describes recently in The New York Times as the power and majesty of a lecture: “it is an exercise, in mindfulness and attention building, a workout that counteracts the junk food of nonstop social media.” In her essay, Worth cites the work of Andrew Delbanco at Columbia who writes: I think the students value a break in their multitasking lives. I think the classroom is an unusual space for them to be in. Here’s a person talking about a complicated idea and challenging books and trying not to dumb them down, not playing for laurels, requiring 60 minutes of focused attention. Implicit in Delbanco’s words is his own argument and conclusion that great teaching in the age of information has been distorted, marginalized. In his recent essays, he has 21

observed that students just will not tolerate or celebrate rigor, courses that compel deep, sustained attention. Of course, video libraries make it convenient at college to skip the human classroom all together. One can attend class and listen, think, and participate casually; after all, the video is available after class. Or perhaps going to class seems particularly difficult this day—the video is available at a more convenient time. Because technology makes everything available, everything repeatable, everything ready to be consumed at our convenience, we listen, we concentrate, we think halfheartedly, erroneously telling ourselves that we will read this essay, think about this idea more energetically later on. But we never get the chance. And as we multitask, little by little we lose the practice, the habit, the discipline of attention. Turkle writes: What makes the greatest impression on college education is learning how to think like someone else, appreciating an intellectual personality and thinking of what it might mean to have one of their own. This argument makes sense to me, in light of the exemplars I cited earlier. Kernan and Maddox taught me how to think, how to write, how to honor literature; their lectures depended on the fact that I was in the classroom, more and more aware of their passion, vitality, energy, vision, and creativity. Their work was available, back then, in books, essays, and articles, but the human dynamic of teaching brought me to new attention, focus, and recognition each and every day, and the lessons they taught me find expression in my life every day. The class, the lecture, the discussion group, Worth reminds us, is a live performance, an academic moment in which anything might happen. It will not surprise you to hear that Maddox and Kernan and Stocking were so compelling in their words, gestures, commitments, and love for literature that they changed my life. Now this new phenomenon is in and of itself disturbing—our houseguest is breaking furniture, disrupting family life, and moving the books out of the house, but perhaps something even more dangerous is going on. It is disturbing to think that technology makes it more difficult for our students to learn, to concentrate, to focus, to create. It is more upsetting to think that technology is changing the very spirit of our time. In one of the latest editions of Commonweal Magazine, former Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, writes powerfully about Pope Francis’ recent trip to the United States and his encyclical about climate change and global warning. Rowan’s argument also recognizes the insidious power of technology, but he emphasizes that technology has begun to succeed in removing us from moral and spiritual connections between us as humans and between us and the natural world. Both Rowan and Pope Francis identify the source of our 21st century crisis of hope and faith as deeply tied to our relentless desire for individualistic success, comfort, and entertainment, a blend that has broken our ties to one another and the natural world. William Wordsworth described

this phenomenon when he wrote: “We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon.” Rowan writes: We live in a culture tone deaf to any natural law… our supposed materialism is actually a deeply anti-material thing: the natural world tells us that to be human is to be in dialogue with what is the other; what is physically other, what is humanly other in the solid three dimensionality of other persons, ultimately what is divinely other. And though technology promises to connect us in ways we never imagined, that connection ultimately fails to honor the real, vibrant, powerful, and enlightening dialogues we have with ourselves, our families, our friends, our neighbors in real life. The virtual world, Rowan argues, makes us think we are in control, the masters of time, connection, and progress. The reality of our progress is much different: We as human beings are not the source of meaning or value. If we believe we are, we exchange the real world for the virtual one, a world in which the only question is who is to be master. A culture in which managing limits as an embarrassing and unwelcome imperative is a culture that has lost touch with the very idea of a world, let alone a created world. Rowan’s insights reminded me of the promise in St. Andrew’s approach to the art of education. As I have experienced in my own life with teachers and role models, schools and colleges can do so much more for us than allow us to fulfill graduation requirements and receive diplomas. At our best, we have teachers and students collaborating, creating, enacting a spirit, a generosity, a vision for just what might be possible in our lives and the world. We remind students, we urge students, we enable students, we inspire students to express this grace, this generosity, this mercy in the world. In short, we give them responsibility for this community and ultimately their world. All of this reading and thinking about the culture of technology led me inexorably to a text written by E. M. Forster I had never read before. Forster is one of my favorite 20th century writers—his novel, Howards End, helped me develop a human and intentional approach to St. Andrew’s version of secondary education. You may be familiar with the vision that permeated that novel: “only connect,” a phrase that helped Forster argue at the dawn of the industrial age that we might lose the ability to communicate, care, and love one another in our relentless struggle for material success and domination, as men and women’s lives moved to the city and the factory. But the text I discovered from my reading was a novella written by Forster in 1909, The Machine Stops. Essentially, the text belongs in the genre of other works created in the 20th century that attempted to look into the future and assess the impact of change, radical change in the essential conditions, setting, and habits of modern life: Huxley’s Brave New 23

World, Orville’s 1984 are familiar texts from my own high school reading lists. As usual, Forster astonished me. He presents a portrait of the ascendance, the triumph of the virtual world. The main character Vashti lives alone deep beneath the earth in an apartment loaded with technological devices that meet her every need. Her chair is worked by machinery, her technological devices allow her to listen to music, listen to and give lectures to a virtual audience, skype with her son, and summon a bed when it is time to sleep. Early in the story, Forster shares a physical description of Vashti: And in the armchair there sits a swaddled lump of flesh—a woman about five feet high, with a face as white as a fungus. It is to her that the little room belongs. What strikes the modern reader as he reads The Machine Stops is the way Forster predicted the paradox of technology: the way Vashti feels connected, entertained, and alive when in reality she is lost, alone, and clearly dying physically and spiritually. But in this story, the Machine has become more than a houseguest—now the Machine controls all, regulates all, punishes anyone who dares to live in the old and newly extinguished natural world. I will let you enjoy this story yourself, but I wanted you to consider two conversations between mother and son. The son, Kuno, recklessly asks his mother to come to him for a conversation. Of course, the Machine has separated them completely. He cries out: “You talk as if god made the Machine,” he cried. “I believe that you pray to it when you are unhappy. Men made it, do not forget that. Great men, but men. The Machine is much, but it is not everything. I see something like you in this plate, but I do not see you. I hear something like you through this telephone, but I do not hear you. That is why I want you to come. Pay me a visit, so that we can meet face to face, and talk about the hopes that are in my mind.” As we in the 21st century read this passage, we recognize how often we use the most convenient, the most accessible means towards human connection, slowly relinquishing our commitment in family and at work to human conversations, face to face meetings, and personal collaborations. Later in the story, as mother and son meet, Kuno desperately shares the vision of hope, renewal, and, yes, connection he felt when he broke through the dominion of the Machine and saw the earth in all its beauty, promise, and history: Cannot you see, cannot all you lecturers see, that it is we who are dying, and that down here the only thing that really lives is the Machine? We created the Machine, to do our will, but we cannot make it do our will now. It has robbed 24

us of the sense of space and of the sense of touch; it has blurred every human relation and narrowed down love to a carnal act, it has paralyzed our bodies and our wills, and now it compels us to worship it. The Machine develops—but not on our lines. The Machine proceeds, but not to our goal. We only exist as the blood corpuscles that course through its arteries, and if it could work without us, it would let us die. Oh, I have no remedy—or, at least, only one—to tell men again and again that I have seen the hills of Wessex as AElfrid saw them when he overthrew the Danes. Elizabeth Roach finally brought my argument to a conclusion when she asked me to read, watch and study Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk: The Dangers of a Single Story. In this remarkable address, Adichie reminds us that we as scholars, citizens, and people often accept, mindlessly and automatically, a single story, a narrative that does not take into account the complexity, diversity, and fragility of the world. We listen to a single story when we read only the paper that affirms our beliefs, when we watch only the News that fits our political profile, when we lose the sense that our concerns and needs and obsessions must be balanced by the needs of others with whom we live and with whom we ultimately will share this earth. The single story gives us the arrogance of certainty, the refusal to ever change our mind, to admit a mistake, to chart a different course, to become better, more thoughtful, vibrant people. Technology, unfortunately, seems intent on telling us that simple single story, and though it promises full access to the world of information, we cannot manage the load, that is until we live in community, develop discussions, share ideas, and come to a new appreciation of the multiple stories we need to consider. The St. Andrew’s way privileges the human over the virtual. We have let the intruder into the house, but make no mistake, he is going no further than the lobby. Let me end with this remarkable passage from Pope Francis: When media and the digital world become omnipresent, their influence can stop people from learning how to live wisely, to think deeply and to love generously. In this context, the great sages of the past run the risk of going unheard amid the noise and distractions of an information overload. Efforts need to be made to help these media become sources of new cultural progress for humanity and not a threat to our deepest riches. True wisdom, as the fruit of self-examination, dialogue and generous encounter between persons, is not acquired by a mere accumulation of data which eventually leads to overload and confusion, a sort of mental pollution. Real relationships with others, with all the challenges they entail, now tend to be replaced by a type of internet communication which enables us to choose or eliminate relationships at whim, thus giving rise to a new type of contrived emotion which has more to do with devices and displays than with other people and with nature. Today’s media 25

do enable us to communicate and to share our knowledge and affections. Yet at times they also shield us from direct contact with the pain, the fears and the joys of others and the complexity of their personal experiences. For this reason, we should be concerned that, alongside the exciting possibilities offered by these media, a deep and melancholic dissatisfaction with interpersonal relations, or a harmful sense of isolation, can also arise.

NOVEMBER 9, 2016

Election 2016 “We as citizens call for an end today of the politics of division, suspicion, and fear. Never again should our democracy be poisoned by the fires of vitriol, contempt, elitism, and prejudice. We call upon all sides to represent this country with dignity and civility.”

ne of the most powerful aspects of our lives together in this community is the opportunity to experience history together. For generations, St. Andrew’s students, faculty, and staff have come together at moments of great historical complexity, tragedy, and celebration to think, reflect, pray, and cultivate a new way forward. In the spirit of our School, we gather this morning to express unity, civility, and hope in the aftermath of our 2016 Presidential election. As you all know, the election came to an end last evening/early morning with a gracious phone call from Secretary Clinton to Donald Trump. At around 3 a.m. this morning, Mr. Trump thanked Mrs. Clinton for her service to the country over her lifetime, and he asked all Americans now to join him in healing the wounds and divisions of a very long and lacerating Campaign. Over the next few weeks, months, and years, we will have opportunities to study the elements of this distinctive and disturbing election, one that surprised and confounded the media and political experts and scholars. Today is a day of emotion, exhaustion, and questions, and we are so fortunate to live together, think together, listen together, collaborate together, witness together, pray together. Whatever your emotion this morning (happiness, sadness, joy, despair, confusion, clarity, fear, safety), you will have the love, support, and affirmation of this community of scholars, citizens, and role models. One thing we know already, even in these early moments of reflection and contradiction: we must find a way forward to unite American citizens whose worldviews, philosophies, perspectives, hopes, and fears are so different, so inextricably linked to their own place in the American economy, American history, American identity. 27

We can find this common ground by suspending our own perspectives, presumptions, and narratives and exploring the American experience of those whose reality does not conform to ours. This is the work of an academic village and the work of our democracy. We need to define, clarify, and honor a middle way. In my lifetime, I have witnessed the changes history makes in the principles, priorities, and assumptions of leaders: whatever a leader says as a politician in a campaign, the responsibility and democratic tradition of representing all Americans brings with it a new approach, a new appreciation for the complexity, difficulty of governing. Whatever you thought of Mr. Trump or Mrs. Clinton during the Campaign, the responsibility of the office of the President brings awesome responsibility and urgent calls for integrity, balance, and humanity. We heard this new opportunity and burden of responsibility in Mr. Trump’s call last night for healing. I watched in my own middle school years as President Johnson joined the nation’s struggle for civil rights and led the war on poverty in America. Leaders change; history makes new and urgent demands—the dignity of the office elevates a leader’s vision. We think today with respect and empathy for the views, experiences, concerns, frustrations, and dreams of this diverse nation. We think of those whose voices and votes were heard loudly last night: those citizens left behind in the technological revolution, economic disruption, and rapid changes in a global world. We think today too of those in our nation who found themselves humiliated, targeted, stereotyped by our candidates based on their race, their political beliefs, their ethnicity, their gender, their ability. We as citizens call for an end today of the politics of division, suspicion, and fear. Never again should our democracy be poisoned by the fires of vitriol, contempt, elitism, and prejudice. We call upon all sides to represent this country with dignity and civility. I plan to talk next Friday about the election, but in light of the events of last evening and the emotions of our nation today, I want to speak a moment sharing the vision shared on Saturday in The Wall Street Journal by Dr. Jonathan Haidt and Dr. Ravi Iyer. Their essay is entitled “Transcending Tribes.” The writers argue that we as human beings are wired to form teams, units, groups, tribes that both give us safety, security, and affirmation and also protect us against the other—those whose perspectives, viewpoints, and beliefs threaten or undermine our own. They suggest that in the 2016 Campaign we have reached perilous grounds in our tribal instincts, behaviors, and expressions. They specifically warn us “against the dangers of this election and its poisoning of our civic life.” They write: … the disgust expressed on both sides in this election is particularly worrisome because disgust dehumanizes its targets.

We know all too well what Haidt and Iyer mean: we have heard citizens say that the beliefs, point of view, perspectives of others disgust them. We know that once we cross the boundary of disgust and dehumanization, we seek, either metaphorically and literally, to silence, remove, or destroy others. We must, our authors suggest, remember that in national debates, the other is not our foe, our enemy: he/she is a cousin who may disagree with us about politics, but shares “most of our values and interests.” Americans—all of us—believe in freedom, in equality, in justice, in opportunity—we may disagree about how to cultivate these virtues, but everyone needs a place at the table, a voice, an opportunity to share his/her viewpoint. Finally, our authors warn us that the only way to transcend dangerous tribalism is through a commitment to “proximity,” defined beautifully by Cicero in these words: Nature has so formed us That a certain tie unites Us all, but … this tie Becomes stronger from proximity. Proximity is what we need today—not proximity only with those who share our joy or grief or confusion, but rather proximity with another person whose view is very different from our own. Could you as a Clinton supporter find a person in our school or over Thanksgiving break who might explain how it felt in their lives and community to be invisible, forgotten in the new economy, forgotten despite their service to their country, forgotten as jobs and opportunities disappeared? Could you as a Trump supporter sit down this morning and hear the story of a student who today feels frightened about her family and her relatives’ ability to be a part of the American community? If we seek proximity, not towards those that think like us, but rather think differently than us, we will preserve American principles and values and commitments. We at St. Andrew’s will work even harder to break down tribalism, presumption, and blindness, and we will continue to explore and honor our values, principles, and ethos. Tonight we will study the national and global issue of poverty, seeking to understand a 21st century phenomenon we should collectively be able to solve. On Friday and Saturday, we will honor the work and vision of Eunice Shriver as we welcome the Special Olympics to St. Andrew’s. It was Shriver who recognized in the 1960s the humanity of children and men and women with intellectual disabilities. On Friday evening, Sophie Stenbeck ’98 arrives at St. Andrew’s from Sweden where she leads the Child 10 Awards “to highlight support and connect bold leaders of grassroots organizations that work with innovative solutions to address urgent and pressing issues for children.” She will speak to us about her efforts to honor girls and defeat human trafficking. 29

If you are sad, frightened, disillusioned, or anxious, we all have your back. You see, St.Â Andrewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s continues its fight for goodness, for enlightenment and illumination. Be strong, be open, live in proximity, and embrace hope in your young and promising lives.

NOVEMBER 18, 2016

Banishing the Forces of Darkness & Hate “We cannot have a civil society, a democratic society if our language, attitudes, and perspectives demonize one another— or worse, demonize and attack groups in our society that have endured this kind of madness for a very, very long time.”

e have moved now nine days from our Presidential election here in America, and tomorrow you all will travel into the country and world in need of goodness, civility, and discernment. We are now living in a time where, in the words of New York Times writer Thomas Friedman, “we need to be aware of the fragility of our democracy.” We cannot merely assume that it will snap back into shape, into a coherent whole. To heal our division, return to our senses, learn from history, and embrace new unity in this country, we are going to have to work together. Friedman quotes Lesley Goldwasser, who came to the United States from Zimbabwe: “You Americans kick around your country like it is a football. But it’s not a football. It’s a Fabergé egg. You can break it.” I ask you tonight, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, to start the healing, the communicating, the uniting. What we need to be worried about right now is that the fire, vitriol, and anger of the election unleashed forces of hatred and division that lie dormant in every country and culture. In periods of economic dislocation, sudden technological and cultural shifts, the forces of intolerance and division invariably see their opportunity and move in to capitalize on fear, emptiness, and frustration. These forces are always alert and eager to exploit such openings, and in the world of mass communication and social media, they can spread their poison on a massive scale. And this perversion of humanity is spreading across the world right now, even in places that witnessed profound atrocities in their histories, rampages that had their source in these expressions of hate and intolerance.

Here is how several authors describe this current global and national economic phenomenon, this moment of vulnerability: The Dalai Lama: In the United States, Britain, and across the European continent, people are convulsed with political frustration and anxiety about their future … In America today, compared with 50 years ago, three times as many working age men are completely outside the work force. This pattern is occurring throughout the developed world and the consequences are not only economic. Feeling superfluous is a blow to the human spirit. It leads to social isolation and emotional pain and creates the conditions for negative emotions to take root. New York Times writer Jill Filipovic: Male identity remains tied up in dominance and earning potential, and when those things flag, it seems men either give up or get angry … Working class white men though, have seen many of their connections to society severed—unions decimated, jobs lost, families split apart or never formed at all—destroying their social status and leaving them increasingly isolated. Professor Katherine J. Cramer, University of Wisconsin, Madison: I have heard this so often. People at the university are elitist and arrogant and have no respect for ordinary Wisconsinites. Novelist Diane Johnson: Is it identity politics that have drained our sense of community so that people don’t mind, or even enjoy defying the conventions of civil discourse and peaceful government? Senator Bernie Sanders: Working Americans can’t afford decent quality child care for their children. They can’t send their kids to college, and they have nothing in the bank as they head into retirement. In many areas of the country, they can’t find affordable housing, and they find the cost of life insurance too high. Too many families exist in despair as drugs, alcohol, suicide cut their lives short. President Obama (Speaking in Greece this week): If people feel like they are losing control of their future, they push back. We’ve seen it here in Greece and across Europe. Bryan Stevenson: We’ve got this mass incarceration problem. One in three black male babies is expected to go to prison ... we have got a lot of work to do in America to become the kind of society that we claim to be. We have historic 32

poverty, historic disenfranchisement. The tensions between communities of color and the majority are, I think, worse than theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been in a long time. David Brooks: I think white voters also wanted some sense of dignity, some sense of being heard. There is something noble, in people who felt marginalized, working class voters taking their party from what had been a corporate party and then asserting their will on this country, against groups of people who were more privileged than they are, both on the left and the right. We see it now, right? We have economic insecurity, a lethal combination of rapid and comprehensive change and dislocation, and a lot of people who feel deserted, left out, invisible, disrespected. We have to find ways to address these challenges, design thoughtful policies and opportunities for regeneration of our economy. All of us, red and blue, liberal and conservative can do this together. But we have to understand at the onset that the very questions we are asking about our economy often influence the ways we think about and approach human rights. This makes little rational sense, but when sections of our economy suffer, when men and women face unemployment, rapid change, and familial disintegration, they look for irrational reasons, people to blame, populations to attack, demonize, and exclude. One of the most noble purposes of schools, colleges, and religious organizations is to learn from and remember the tragic history of moments in human history when the Other has become the irrational but indisputable center of our pain, resentment, fear, and loathing. We have to make the intelligent case through conversation, through education, through religious traditions, through the family, through the community that social and human equality and freedom are not the source of the pain Americans and Europeans feel. We have to suggest that the solution to our problems does not involve the escalation of hate but rather the escalation of hope. We can create big government, small government, flat taxes, or taxes designed for the redistribution of wealth. We can have an activist foreign policy or one that focuses only on American interests at home. We can engage in the most wide ranging debates on our policies, plans, initiatives. But we cannot have a civil society, a democratic society if our language, attitudes, and perspectives demonize one anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or worse, demonize and attack groups in our society that have endured this kind of madness for a very, very long time. Our own history and world history are littered with examples that tie economic and national dislocation to the cultivation of scapegoating, intolerance, and violence. That is partly because we allowed these forces to fester and grow and partly because the human capacity to despise the other is so enshrined in our human minds. This is where America cannot go in the next few months.

A loud, eager, and tiny minority has seized upon the current fears and anxiety of the American or global economy unleashing attitudes and threats and slurs that undermine our sense of collective safety, identity, and respect. And sadly, in the words of Jonathan Greenblatt, Chief Executive of the Anti-Defamation League, social media allows these voices “to spread their venom with a velocity and volume that was never before possible.” In other words, the modern world has given hate groups the power to amplify, magnify their puny voice and cowardly message. If it takes only a second for a hate group to poison discourse, it has taken a long time for us to build human rights commitments in our country and world. This hard earned sense of safety, this sense of belonging, this sense of dignity emerged in this country from the heroism and sacrifice and patience and suffering and hope of so many we know about in history and so many we do not know. The groups in America who faced oppression and exclusion have celebrated inclusion but always have wondered and worried how permanent American and global commitments actually are. White heterosexual males simply assume that these moments of reform, inclusion, and equal rights are now won and locked into American culture. But those who have felt, experienced, and lived the old culture of exclusion, silencing, separation, and banishment wonder about the permanence of these changes. The old ideologies of exclusion seem to be breathing, breeding, gathering before our eyes. We all need to reject them. The fragility and fear we sense from our friends and colleagues who are women, who are of color, who are immigrants, who are Muslim, who are Hispanic, who are Jewish, who are members of the LGBTQ communities come from their memories, current outbreaks of discrimination, and their fears that these human rights commitments are somehow tentative, fragile—not permanent. The voices of intolerance jump into the gap quickly, announcing in words and in threats that they have the power to wind back the clock, that demonizing, insulting, attacking the other will make themselves and their disciples happy, successful, and fulfilled. They are selling a creed, a belief system, an agenda that has already created human rights abuses that are shameful, devastating, and merciless. They prey on citizens who desperately seek answers to the pain and dislocation they feel. “We will get you out of this pain, they promise, but first join us in the attack on the other.” And so we see increases in people over the last few days testing the waters, doing the kind of things that are creeping into communities in Europe: maybe, they seem to be saying, it is time to intimidate and threaten, to burn a Muslim woman for wearing a hijab, maybe this is a time to find a Trump supporter, throw him to the ground, hit him, and scream, “you hate Mexicans”; maybe it seems a good time to threaten three Penn freshmen of color with lynching, maybe this is a time for a person to defecate on a Trump sign, maybe this is a good time to tell a Black policeman in New York City, “you’re next,” making shooting motions with his hands, or maybe this is a good time to post on a NeoNazi website that brown people need to be intimidated.

At St. Andrew’s we can become too casual and comfortable with words, phrases, jokes that quite simply do not meet the culture of respect we say we stand for. In a recent meeting with two student leaders I respect, Jaryd and Gen expressed their hope that the St. Andrew’s community would be consistent, authentic, and clear in our rejection of language and terms that make fellow students uncomfortable. They suggested that nothing should ever threaten, undermine our commitment to basic human ethics. They suggested we have to have our own internal act together before we minister to social justice in the world, before we welcome Bryan Stevenson to our school. For Stevenson, the teasing to life of bitterness, alienation, violence, and scapegoating is as old as our history of slavery, our history of lynching, our system of segregation, our system of mass incarceration. He suggests that one form of oppression for people of color barely subsides before a new code of oppression unfolds. As an attorney and advocate for his clients, Stevenson knows all too well the ravages of poverty, economic dislocation, despair, and neglect, and he has seen directly how savage the forces of unleashed scapegoating and intolerance can be. He argues that mercy and grace can only be achieved in America when we look with clarity and courage at the depths we have gone to oppress the lives of citizens in our history. To help us all understand the legacy of hatred in America, he has done work to document 4,100 lynchings that took place in the American South from 1877 to 1953. These lynchings (hangings, shootings, beatings) became public spectacles, public entertainment, civic celebrations and were brought to an end only through the intervention of the federal government. The lynchings represented a specialized form of hatred and resistance to the very concept of American equality and democratic progress. The lynching process was the South’s answer to the party of Lincoln and vision of Frederick Douglass. Bryan Stevenson has a soil collection project in Alabama—the effort is to commemorate the lives lost and the violence that desecrated these communities over and over again. The dignity and innocence and memory of those murdered cry out to us for justice; the crimes against humanity perpetrated on our own soil remind us that we can never, ever, enter that road again. New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin describes the work of Stevenson’s project: The volunteers headed out in small teams to fill gallon size jugs with soil from the sites of the 363 lynchings that EJI had documented in Alabama. Many of the sites are approximate, and the soil project which has been going on for about a year, is meant to be symbolic rather than scientific. Along the back wall of the room where Stevenson was speaking were about a hundred jugs already filled with soil … The colors of the soil samples varied from nearly black in the Black Belt communities across the middle of the state to the tan sandy soil from the Gulf Coast around Mobile. The names of the victims and dates of their deaths, which ranged from 1877-1950 are marked on the jugs.

We have worked so hard in America to understand the danger, the threat, the scourge of human hate and division. But we need to be more than familiar with our history; we have to be vigilant, we have to be lighthouses protecting our country from this all too familiar temptation and destination. Each of the deaths Bryan documents represents a narrative, a life, a family, a hope. Here is the one Toobin shared in his profile: Ebb Calhoun died on April 29, 1907, in Pittsview, Alabama. After a study by the Equal Justice Initiative, we learned that on the day before his death, Mr. Calhoun’s son “reportedly walked between a white man and his daughter in the street, brushing against the woman.” The white man proceeded to shove Calhoun’s son to the ground—he was insulted by the black man’s presumption and according to accounts, “he was annoyed by the boisterousness of a large crowd of negroes” in the town that day. The next day, Ebb Calhoun made a point of returning to the site of the confrontation in an attempt to protect his son and “take the hit that was meant for him.” Indeed, as Ebb Calhoun walked into the area, several white men, including the person who pushed his son to the ground, surrounded him, accused him of firing a shot at a visitor. Then, they “shot him dead.” We need, you see, to be spreading red sand this vacation—red sand to protect girls, to express solidarity with Sophie Stenbeck’s principled and emotional rejection of the trafficking and exploitation of girls, metaphorical red sand to protect our democracy—red sand to be distributed by liberals, conservatives, the President, and the President-elect. We reject all forms of racism, religious intolerance, bigotry, and violence. We are united, all of us, in this. For Thanksgiving, let’s banish the forces of darkness and hate. Their numbers are minuscule, their voices are loud, degrading, destructive, and destabilizing. Every act of inclusion, exploration, and honoring of difference exposes their cowardice, their emptiness, and their extinction. Drown them out with goodness, patience, hospitality, love, and kindness. I will end with the wise words of Ms. Pressman’s father, legendary teacher at Hotchkiss: It’s up to all of us (and all of us together) to insist on seeing immigrants, people of color, Muslims, women, LGBTQ people, supporters of Trump no less than Hillary … as our own, as our brothers and sisters, and to act on that vision.

AU G U S T 1 6 , 2 0 1 7

Head of School’s Statement on Events in Charlottesville

s a school community, we express our mission and find great inspiration and hope from the very notion of enlightenment, illumination, and progress. We are proud that throughout our country’s history, schools have so often been the places where discrimination, hatred, and intolerance are exposed for what they truly are: violations of the human spirit, violations of the promise of our nation, and violations of religious principles of love, compassion, empathy, and understanding. It has always been true that the forces of division, hatred, and supremacy never entirely surrender their dogma, dreams of recovery, and perverse passion for desecration and violence. For far too long in our nation’s history, this movement could turn words into action, into violence, into lynching. They await permission to try out their foul message again, exploiting complacency or more accurately, vulnerability in the national culture. They seek to capitalize on economic conditions or disruptions that kindle anger and suspicion. We have seen this pattern over and over and over again, and each time the forces of hatred gather, we have to stand up and speak up for goodness, for human rights, for the dignity of all, for the power of what Bryan Stevenson calls proximity. St. Andrew’s joins the unified voices all across the country and the world and from the political right and left in denouncing the message and doctrine of hate expressed by white supremacists and neo-Nazis in Charlottesville. Our response to this poison will be our 2017-18 school year.

AU G U S T 2 3 , 2 0 1 7 O P E N I N G F A C U LT Y M E E T I N G

Hatred Will Not Replace Us “We must continue to suggest to our students that the life of the mind, spirit, and community at this school are all about the cultivation of a more broad, inclusive humble view of and engagement with the world.”

s a school with a distinctly public purpose, St. Andrew’s seeks to graduate men and women who will play leadership roles in the 21st Century’s array of dizzying problems and crises. Without question, one of the essential attributes our students will need and we need as their teachers is an approach to the increasingly fierce, hostile, and ideological debates taking place in the country today. I asked Giselle Furlonge and Terence Gilheany to do some thinking about this issue as we gathered for an administrative retreat this summer, and they framed the opportunity brilliantly as they called for an emphasis and dedication to the art of radical listening. Giselle suggested that radical listening changes the very direction of an institution and a culture. She will have much more to say about that powerful vision on Friday. Today, I want to connect this national problem of polarity, distrust, and divisiveness to the philosophical and practical definitions of proximity Stephen Greenblatt suggests. I want to think about what proximity means in the context of a residential school. I want to think about how our approach to argument, seminar classes, project-based learning, teaching for understanding gives us a paradigm we can use when we work on creating a culture of communication, collaboration, and synthesis among competing worldviews. I want to make the case that inspiring teaching emerges through a full and powerful expression of empathy and human understanding. But first, I want to frame this problem more carefully and specifically. Consider two perspectives on this issue: Writing this summer in The New York Times, Thomas Friedman describes an American crisis of trust and communication: “when a liberal comedian poses with a mock severed head of Donald Trump, when the President’s

own son Eric Trump says of his father’s democratic opponents, ‘to me, they’re not even people,’ you know you are heading to a dark place.” Friedman quotes Dov Seidman, author of the book, How, and CEO of LRN: What we are experiencing is an assault on the very foundations of our society and democracy—the twin pillars of truth and trust... The anger industry is now either sending us into comfortable echo chambers where we don’t see the other or arousing such moral outrage in us toward the other that we can no longer see their humanity, let alone embrace them as fellow Americans with whom we share values. In his book 21 Trends for the 21st Century, Gary Marx describes polarization this way: The late futurist, philosopher, educator, and diplomat Harlan Cleveland, based on his experience, estimated that there are 5.3 sides to most issues. That’s between two to three times, maybe even 5.3 times the number some leaders are willing to acknowledge—despite the fact that a free society should be a crucible for consideration of divergent or even conflicting ideas. We should not rest until every student in our schools, perhaps all of us, are able to withhold judgment long enough to consider at least two conflicting ideas at the same time. Marx continues: We have what seems to be a growing number of people whose righteousness has hardened their attitudes and limited their views... way too many of us are moving from talking with each other to talking past one another. Listening to the reasoning of another case seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle, replaced by preconceived conclusions, biases, and unbending ideologies. It should not be surprising to us that the events in Charlottesville emerged partly because forces of hate, division, and intolerance felt they could now enter a political and national climate that is so fractured, polluted, and suspicious. The good news is that the nation not only rejects and condemns this expression of hatred but now perhaps may come to its senses and protect the common good we have worked so hard, and so imperfectly, to develop. Did we really need to see armed members of the KKK, neo-Nazi groups, and white supremacists to understand what we risk when we assume principles of our democracy can withstand inertia, personal attacks, and the eclipse of definitions of truth and integrity? Apparently so, and just as the shooting of Congressman Steve Scalise this summer briefly ignited calls and commitments for consensus, moderation, and compromise, we now have yet another chance to assert goodness, justice, human rights in America. 39

I hope you had the opportunity to read Stephen Greenblatt’s essay (recommended to me by John Austin, Head of King’s Academy) on Shakespeare, or more specifically, his reflections on empathy, proximity, creativity, and epiphany. The more I thought about this essay, the more I believe Professor Greenblatt advocates and suggests a way forward for us all to rediscover and reaffirm the moral and spiritual foundations of our civic society, the more I believe that Greenblatt suggests a powerful living and teaching model for us to emulate. In his analysis of the brilliant imagination and range of Shakespeare, Greenblatt paradoxically argues that the source of dramatic understanding and enlightenment is available to all. While, yes, we lack Shakespeare’s genius and eloquence, Greenblatt suggests we do all share the gift that led to Shakespeare’s illumination of humanity. He writes: Ideologies of various kinds contrive to limit our ability to enter into the experience of another... What Shakespeare bequeathed to us offers the possibility of an escape from the mental ghettos most of us inhabit. Our ideologies keep us walled off from one another, seemingly safe and secure, in reality blind, defensive, suspicious. What Shakespeare did in reaction to his own age and for all time, of course, was radical: he moved the notions and very definition of dramatic character into realms that had never been explored or expressed before. In Zadie Smith’s words, “We cherish him for his lack of allegiance... in his plays he is woman, man, black, white, believer, heretic, Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Muslim.” Greenblatt described this process in an earlier text Will of the World as Shakespeare’s creative and essential mastery of interiority—the ability to share in a character’s speech the very essence, complexity, and vulnerability of the human mind and soul. This was, of course, a moral and ethical and spiritual and, yes, a literary innovation and decision on Shakespeare’s part: to feel so deeply, to imagine so generously and empathetically that not only his plays but his very approach to human psychology and motivation became radical and penetrating. Greenblatt beautifully documents the evolution of this innovation by juxtaposing what seems to be wooden tentative explorations of this process (at least on a Shakespearean scale) towards the ultimate unfolding of the voices that resonate for all time: Brutus, Hamlet, Othello, Macbeth, Lear. Greenblatt calls this process a “strange irrepressible imaginative generosity,” and it emerged miraculously only in the last stage of Shakespeare’s career, a time that unleashed his greatest work. Shakespeare was already firmly established, respected, successful, secure, but somehow he lived, suffered, stretched, strained, created, and discovered a new way of expressing the human condition. In this new essay, Greenblatt goes back to the question of Shakespeare’s methodology, but this time he concentrates both on The Merchant of Venice and the ways Shakespeare’s imagination and empathetic regard deepens the complexity and power of his work. Both through the source he relied upon and through his initial plan of composition, Shakespeare saw Shylock in The Merchant of Venice as a character of greed, evil, and violence. He was 40

to be punished, converted for his threat and his intended violence and, of course, made to witness the betrayal, wedding, and conversion of his beloved daughter. The play was meant to be a comedy, with Shylock as part of the drama that would unleash the comic reassertion of order, love, community. Instead, as Greenblatt suggests, Shakespeare’s empathy, grace, and understanding opens Shylock to the audience, and he unleashes a dynamic, complex portrait of a man who is deeply flawed and at the same time isolated, pained, and humiliated in the face of Christian arrogance, presumption, and cruelty. It is as if the creation of character in its most rich, vivid, and creative form became much more important than the play itself. Greenblatt writes: He set out to create a straightforward comedy—only to find himself increasingly drawn into the soul of the despised other... by giving Shylock more theatrical vitality—quite simply, more urgent, compelling life, than anyone else in the play. And, therefore, miraculously came these immortal words of pain and desolation— words asserting human dignity in the face of derision, scorn, and prejudice. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, afflictions, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? Greenblatt calls this miracle “the creation of life, one of the essential qualities of the human imagination.” He imagines Shakespeare tying his characters to his body “like leeches so they might suck his lifeblood and in so doing take authentic dramatic form.” He explains that genius erupted from “entering deeply, too deeply,” from exploring “an excess of life." This cultivation of imagination, this cultivation of character, this cultivation of the habit of seeing the world from the perspective far away from the egotistical self is the work of great teachers in the field of education. We must continue to suggest to our students that the life of the mind, spirit, and community at this school are all about the cultivation of a more broad, inclusive humble view of and engagement with the world. We do not have to be Shakespeare to live in this rich and generous and thoughtful way, to break down the walls that divide us from one another, to escape from the mental prison that reflects only our self-absorption and narcissism.

What does teaching with irrepressible, imaginative generosity look like and sound like? It is passionate, creative, responsible, disciplined, and inspiring. It contains every day moments when the majesty and beauty and complexity and importance of what you are teaching overwhelms your soul and you communicate that feeling of awe and reverence to your students. It means thinking of teaching the way Will Porter does: “Make sure you are teaching things that excite you and make you laugh and cry.” It means you construct questions, problems, dilemmas, cases, and research opportunities that encourage discovery, immersion, focus, and enlightenment. It means moving from teaching a class to igniting the minds and hearts and souls of every individual in your class. It means being present, engaged, thoughtful, creative in your search for the particular ways of unlocking and liberating learning in your student. It means changing your teaching ideology, your methodology, your presumption to be sure you are sharing, cultivating, scaffolding, teaching the student what he or she needs to grow and flourish. It is moving from the ordinary to the extraordinary, it is the process of helping students believe in their ability, capacity, and potential to do literally anything for the world. It means emulating Shakespeare’s determined refusal to be bound by any particular ideology or identity in a quest for comprehensive human understanding. It means asserting the power of love, collaboration, and community in the face of hatred and division. That is what great teaching is, and that is the challenge before us this year: to teach and to advise and to mentor with an excess of life, attention, vitality, and energy. That is what I will be looking for when I visit classes, rehearsals, practices, and dorms this year. Last week, Nathan Englander published an essay in The New York Times reflecting on childhood, primal experiences and memories, and the searing damage of the neo-Nazi, white supremacy rally. The day brought back the humiliation of his youth—the moments he and others were derisively encouraged or physically forced to scrounge for pennies on the sidewalk—the day when Anti-Semites surrounded his sister—the taunts and jeers from passersby: “the Swastika shaving cream on our front door at Halloween to the kid on his bike yelling, “Hitler should have finished, you all!" Englander thought those days of pain and isolation were over until last week when the vicious sounds of racist poison infiltrated and exploded on the streets of Virginia. He writes: Because the children who witness a day like that... will not forget the fear and disrespect tailored to the black child, the Muslim child, the Jewish child... Saturday in Charlottesville was just one day, but think of that one day multiplied by all of us, across this great country. Think of the size of that setback, the assault on empathy, the divisiveness and tiki-torched terror multiplied by every single citizen of this nation. It may as well be millions of years of dignity, of civility, of progress lost. Just from that one day.

Of course, the brilliance of Englander’s perspective is that he both thinks of his own trauma as an innocent child meeting the forces of certain and debilitating and threatening Anti-Semitism; he reminds us that these images of hatred and violence today find immediate and multiplied expression in our country. I went immediately to Bryan Stevenson for perspective on what had happened at Charlottesville. In several interviews, he calmly and patiently explained that the open and violent assault on American principles of equality and human rights was in reality a clear result of our inability and refusal to do what Germany and South Africa did following World War II and the end of apartheid: study, acknowledge, and document the tragedy of slavery, Jim Crow, and virulent white supremacy, segregation and discrimination. That is why Stevenson and the Equal Justice Initiative work today to document and memorialize the lynchings that occurred throughout the American South in reaction to Reconstruction and the assertion of principles of equality. That is why it was important for Englander to share the pain of his childhood with America last week. Colson Whitehead confronts that legacy of hatred, violence, and torture in The Underground Railroad, our school summer reading book this summer. Near the end of the book, in Shakespearean fashion, he takes us into the heart and soul of Mabel as she both experiences the exquisite joy of freedom and her deep emotional maternal responsibility to her daughter. She lay on her back and ate another turnip. Without the sound of her splashing and huffing, the noises of the swamp resumed. The spadefoot toads and turtles and slithering creatures, the chattering of black insects. Above—through the leaves and branches of the black—water trees—the sky scrolled before her, new constellations wheeling in the darkness as she relaxed. No patrollers, no bosses, no cries of anguish to induct her into another’s despair. No cabin walls shuttling her through the night seas like the hold of a slave ship. Sandhill cranes and warblers, otters splashing. On the bed of dark earth, her breathing slowed and that which separated herself from the swamp disappeared. She was free. This moment. She had to go back. The girl was waiting on her. This would have to do for now. Her hopelessness had gotten the best of her, speaking her thoughts like a demon. She would keep this moment close, her own treasure. When she found the words to share it with Cora, the girl would understand there was something beyond the plantation, past all that she knew. That one day if she stayed strong, the girl could have it for herself. The world may be mean, but people don’t have to be, not if they refuse. Mabel picked up her sack and got her bearings. If she kept a good pace, she’d be back well before first light and the earliest risers on the plantation. Her escape had been a preposterous idea, but even a sliver of it amounted to the best adventure in her life. 43

Mabel pulled out another turnip and took a bite. It really was sweet. The snake found her not long into her return. She was wending through a cluster of stiff reeds when she disturbed its rest. The cottonmouth bit her twice, in the calf and deep in the meat of her thigh. No sound but pain. Mabel refused to believe it. It was a water snake, it had to be. Ornery but harmless. When her mouth went minty and her leg tingled, she knew. She made it another mile. She had dropped her sack along the way, lost her course in the back water. She could have made it farther—working Randall land had made her strong, strong in body if nothing else—but she stumbled onto a bed of soft moss and it felt right. She said, “Here,” and the swamp swallowed her up. We Americans have come to understand and promise that those who met oppression, violence, and discrimination in our history would have their descendants enjoy the fruits of freedom, and have this precious gift once and for all. This great movement towards freedom and equality was never about oppressing or replacing or punishing white people. It was an expression of humanity’s restless, moral, spiritual commitment to freedom and equality for all. We seek to redeem Charlottesville, Englander’s desolate flashbacks, the life and death of Mabel, and generations who shared her heroism and tragedy. We do so one day, one moment, one conversation, one commitment at a time, and we do so by moving closer to one another, asserting dignity, civility, and progress, and finding and affirming and announcing a richness of imagination and grace.

SEPTEMBER 7, 2017 O P E N I N G D AY

What We Are All About As A School “At St. Andrew’s, we teach to empower students, to build their confidence, their voice, their skills of collaboration and teamwork.... We teach to unleash student passion, creativity, and commitment.”

n behalf of the faculty and Class of 2018, we are proud to welcome you to St. Andrew’s Opening Day. You and your families have brought such excitement, energy, hope, and expectation to our community today, and we understand these emotions also collide with a bit of anxiety and a lot of love for your sons and daughters. We have tried to meet all these powerful emotions with a radical expression of hospitality, generosity, and goodness. This ritual of welcome is a literal and metaphorical expression of the values of our school, our community, our culture. It is just the beginning of our exploration and cultivation of what Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church Michael Curry recalls as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream of “the beloved community.” It is just the beginning of our cultivation of a community that is thoughtful, judicious, responsible, generous, patient, inclusive, and kind. It is just the beginning of our redefinition of the purpose and spirit of the American boarding school. It is just the beginning of our response to a country and a world that has fallen into staggering and destructive polarities. It is just a beginning of our desire to cultivate honor, integrity, and truth in our personal and civic lives. And yes, this is just a beginning for St. Andrew’s response to the KKK, Neo-Nazi groups, and white supremacists who gathered in Charlottesville, Virginia, three weeks ago. As you know, beginnings are important—the first days, weeks, and months of a school year open up opportunities for such deep and significant change, growth, development, intention, and focus, particularly for those who are new.

The opening days of a year gives a school the opportunity to introduce our new students and new parents to the voice, the narrative style, the promise of St. Andrew’s. We have cultivated all kinds of words and phrases to signal that this school’s mission cannot be confined within the narrow, individualistic bounds of the American independent school: we have, we say, an ethos, a spirit, and a soul: we are a countercultural community, we are a private school with a public purpose, we are a school of opportunity, we are a school open to all regardless of means, we are a school that establishes its identity and reputation not on the ancient past of prep school prestige, but rather on the vitality, creativity, and energy of its students, faculty, and alumni. We are the boarding school that inspires a new generation of teachers. We are a family; we are a community that excels in the art of rescue, we practice radical hospitality, radical listening, and radical empathy. We are a school that does not force our students to wait and postpone their engagement with the problems and dilemmas facing our world. We are a school that rejects and denounces racism, intolerance, bigotry, hate, and violence. We honor our diversity of race, ethnicity, politics, worldviews, religion, class, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, and ability. We honor argument, dialogue. We find common ground, common good, friendship, grace as we come together and assert calmly and patiently what the nation and world might look like. In Student Life, we have replaced senior class power, authority, and hierarchy with senior class responsibility, stewardship, and support. At a time when many seniors across America begin their year with an obsessive focus on self, on individual promotion, achievement, and application, on the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs, St. Andrew’s seniors open their hearts and mind to the cultivation of community and the care and stewardship of new students. They honor their own seniors who guided and mentored them in preceding years, and they also seek to put into action all their own aspirations for goodness, for inclusivity, for community. They promise to be role models; they promise to listen, to be proactive, responsive, empathetic, and patient. They do this work because the cultivation of community, the expression and human understanding and care is the highest exhibition of what they have learned in the school. I spent a lot of time listening to our seniors last week as they analyzed their own one, two, and three year journeys towards their senior year. They are ready to be tremendous leaders and mentors for your sons and daughters. They want to excel in the art of creating moments of understanding, support, and appreciation that make all the difference in a new student’s transition. They are interested in developing the discipline and habit of heart of kindness. Here is how senior Emma Tapscott described their hopes and commitments: I think it just comes down to being altruistically and unconditionally kind. Because in those moments no one is going to hold you accountable for not going out of your way to make someone feel included. No one is going to hold you accountable in that moment, so I think you have to hold yourself accountable, because you've been there too, and because it’s the right thing to do. At my middle school we had this motto: be kinder than necessary. I think that’s what 46

we just need to do: be kinder than necessary, kinder than people expect you to be, and kinder than you might want to be in that moment, even though absolutely nobody is going to notice if you aren’t. Of course, the narrative of a year at St. Andrew’s emerges most powerfully through the work of the faculty. A number of years ago, Louis Menand wrote the following words about the teaching profession: The only way to develop curiosity, sympathy, principle of independence of mind is to practice being curious, sympathetic, principled, and independent. For those of us who are teachers, it isn’t what we teach that instills virtue—it’s how we teach. We are the books our students read most closely. Menand suggests that the way to understand the brilliance and commitment of a teacher is to witness how she models in the classroom the virtues and habits of mind and heart she expects in her students. At St. Andrew’s, we teach to empower students, to build their confidence, their voice, their skills of collaboration and teamwork. We seek to cultivate independence, agility, and creativity of thought, to explore questions and concerns in judicious ways, to separate fact from fiction, truth from distortion, to tie education to a public purpose. We teach, honoring Ted Sizer’s suggestion, that we adopt a culture of “unanxious expectation.” We teach to unleash student passion, creativity, and commitment. Therefore, you will see in our faculty a portrait of the very qualities of scholarship we hope to cultivate in the coming years. You will witness their passion for their work and for their disciplines; you will hear how they honor the art of teaching in every class; you will realize that rather than teaching ideology of instruction, your child will experience a broad and flexible array of teaching practices. You will understand that the teaching life keeps us curious, alert, creative, and passionate. And as the world seems to swing erratically from crisis to crisis, you will find coherence, stability, courage, and hope here. Over the last several weeks, members of the faculty have shared their views on teaching by writing their own versions of what Jonathan Kozol entitled Letters to a Young Teacher. Here are excerpts: John McGiff: “Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, being passionate about your subject is the surest way to convince students that this is a journey worth having.” Elizabeth Roach: “Try to be kind and generous at all times. Students want to be visible and need your encouragement and support. They all want to be pushed and challenged. These two elements—love and rigor—are not in opposition. They need to go hand in hand.” 47

Lindsay Roznowski: “This work cannot be done without trust. If each student feels that you are making an effort to get to know him exactly where he is, he will be more open to the learning process and more committed to the larger group.” Lou Berl: “Teaching is primarily a career which requires a love of people, the human condition, and most importantly a love of working with teenagers.” Emily Pressman: “‘Go for broke,’ James Baldwin starts there and that’s where to start. You need to have a sense of urgency in everything you do as a teacher—every moment of class preparation, of class discussion, of casual interaction with a student in the hall matters. They all have a weight and meaning for our students far beyond what we ourselves ever realize.” Jason Honsel: “The notion that some people are just born to teach and just have to show up is a myth. Most of the best teachers will tell you that great teaching all starts with preparation. If I leave you with one piece of advice today, I want you to know this—you must prepare, and then prepare some more.” Ana Ramirez: “Get to know your students: their passions, interests, strengths and weaknesses... listen attentively to them, inspire, and guide them so they discover new ideas, new possibilities. Challenge them so you can measure their growth; ask them to think, rework, accept, or reject their assumptions about the world and the way in which they engage in it.” Stacey Duprey: “It is crucial that your students know how much you care about them, believe in them, and are committed to their success. This means you need to get to know them, you need to be consistent, and you need to be fair...you are already a teacher I wish every child could be blessed to have. The teaching profession just gained a star. Your job is to make sure you shine as bright as you can.” Matt McAuliffe: “If my explanations or passion did not produce understanding and interest in the students, then, they were insufficient. When I would answer an interpretive question or immediately share my perspective, it would not give the students a chance to form their own.”

Will Porter: “Make sure you are teaching things that excite you, that make you laugh and cry every day.” Dave DeSalvo: “As a math teacher, you want to create an atmosphere where students feel totally comfortable sharing thoughts and strategies, even if they might make a mistake or take a wrong turn somewhere. You will learn that students feel that being wrong is bad and mistakes are bad—until they enter your class, that is. In your class, they will learn that mistakes lead to growth, success, achievement.” Joshua Meier: “Some of the best teaching happens in those beautiful moments when something unexpected happens, and the direction of the class suddenly shifts. You have to be ready and willing to go when that moment arises.” Terrell Myers: “Educators need to be mentally prepared to give their heart and soul when teaching, especially if the plan is to make a change in a student’s life.” Eric Kemer: “A key component of living a robust and rewarding life in teaching is to balance the need to nurture one’s own creative self-expression while remaining alert to, and giving thoughtful consideration to the adoption of outside ideas.” Will Speers: “It is time for you to listen. Part of being an adult now is that your story is secondary to theirs. When I started teaching, I thought that my role, even after listening, was to give an answer, a direction, a nugget of insight. But I really believe our role is to keep listening, keep the student speaking, keep the student reflecting. I don’t believe in removing myself from the discussion, but I think teachers can be better listeners.” Giselle Furlonge: “The art of listening is a radical act. It can change the direction of an institution.” We as a faculty understand that at St. Andrew’s we have both the responsibility and the opportunity not only to model what a life of scholarship looks like: we have the opportunity to guide and model leadership, integrity, empathy, and grace in our lives. As teachers we are well aware of our potential collective impact and influence on our incredible students. We seek to model an adult professional life that is joyous, balanced,

resilient, and disciplined. We seek to cultivate independence, autonomy, and creativity in your sons and daughters. A great senior class: a caring, brilliant, human, and vibrant faculty—a mission that never fails to bring us to our full attention, commitment, and effort—and now you, your child, your family joining with students and parents from all across the nation and the world to create a school of hope, promise, and expectation. We are going to take this school to new heights over the next four years. We are going to be part of a national, global movement towards enlightenment and illumination. We are going to be a part of a movement that seeks understanding, reconciliation, and peace. We hope you as adults always feel the energy and goodness and grace of the St. Andrew’s community lift your spirits, your energy, your intention to fight for and witness a culture of human rights and respect in the world. We will do our best to share the messages our faculty students and staff create over the coming months. You in turn can deepen the conversation and energy of the school whenever you visit, whenever you meet with our students as guests in your homes and communities. You can help spread the word about a school that values character, leadership, engagement, and kindness as an essential condition of exemplary teaching and learning. You can explain that St. Andrew’s financial aid program opens doors of opportunity to nearly 50 percent of our students. You can connect us to leaders who will inspire our students and faculty the way Bryan Stevenson did last year. Of course, in these early weeks of transition, we will be carefully constructing an intricate web of support for each new student: advisor, dorm parents, classroom teachers, coaches, directors will connect with and communicate with our new students, all the while sending the unmistakable message that your son or daughter is welcome here, will flourish here, will contribute here, will serve here. We will contact you if we have any concerns with your child’s transition, and of course, we welcome your calls or emails at any time that you are concerned, anxious. We recommend that you not visit campus in the first two weeks of school, but of course, that is just a recommendation, not a prohibition. The same goes true both for texting and other forms of instant communication. Especially in these early weeks, and yes, most of the time, less instant communication is better. Letters and good long phone calls are good! You may have heard about United States Defense Secretary James Mattis’ talk with American soldiers in Jordan last week. It is featured in Peggy Noonan’s essay in The Wall Street Journal. Here is part of what he said to the young men and women in our country seated in front of him: You’re a great example of our country right now. It’s got some problems—you know it and I know it. It’s got problems that we don’t have in the military, And you just hold the line, my fine young soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, You just hold the line until our country gets back to understanding and respecting each

other and showing it, of being friendly to one another. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what Americans owe to one another. It is a great speech and a good phrase: hold the line; stay strong, disciplined, and courageous until reinforcements arrive. And maybe thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s part of what we are all about as a school, as a community, as a nation, as a world. Hold the line on human rights, on justice, on mercy, on understanding, on empathy, on generosityâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;against the forces threatening humanity and the natural world. And then, having held the line, move forward with a spirit of love, expectation, and faith in our capacity to create and fulfill a new world of peace and understanding. Thank you.

OCTOBER 21, 2017 PA R E N T S W E E K E N D

It Is Time for Human Grandeur â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are interested in creating a school culture and spirit that lifts the heart and souls of all who live and work here.â&#x20AC;?

t is always an honor to speak on this occasion, six weeks into a promising and important new year, on a morning already so full of exciting and inspiring conversations among parents, guardians, and teachers. We are complete as a community when you are all here, for quite clearly you articulated and modeled the values we cherish as a school from the times your sons and daughters were very little. In return for your excellence in the art of parenting and in appreciation for your faith in us, the faculty, staff, and student body create this weekend as one to thank you for your belief in your children and love of this school. We want to give you a gift of renewal, optimism, and hope as you return to your work across the United States and the world next week. For those of us fortunate enough to live and work here, we experience this process of renewal and inspiration every day as we create and strengthen a high school dedicated to the liberal arts and the cultivation of goodness in our society. What we are seeking to cultivate here is the radical notion that a school can seek and embody academic excellence and community excellence; or perhaps more accurately the school seeks a powerful synthesis between reason, empathy, creativity, and service. We are interested in creating a school culture and spirit that lifts the heart and souls of all who live and work here. We are committed to graduating young men and women who will lead and serve with generosity and integrity throughout their lives. We view this blend of liberal arts learning and character and leadership development as the most responsible and ethical way of approaching 21st century education. The kind of schools we create, the kind of young people we parent and inspire will ultimately influence the tone, spirit, citizenship, leadership, and health of our nation and world. Our high school and college graduates will do more than work and vote; they will have to become

the adults in the room as we confront the intractable issues facing humanity. The stakes are really that high. It has always been an honor to be part of an educational community, but I have to say that this particular time for me, this era for St. Andrew’s, this moment for America and the world is particularly stimulating and important. We are facing a particular moment in time when education is our best hope for national and global renewal, for a clarification and commitment to truth, for a unification of a diverse nation and world, for a pursuit of moderation and compromise that honors human rights, equality, and responsibility, for a rescue of the earth. We have the ultimate choice between the prospect of goodness and reason prevailing or the triumph of lies, ideologies of hatred, and chaos. Former President George W. Bush described the national moment this way in remarks made this past week: "Bigotry seems emboldened. Our politics seems more vulnerable to conspiracy theories and outright fabrication—we have seen our discourse degraded by casual cruelty. At times, it seems the forces pulling us apart are stronger than the voices binding us together. Argument turns too easily into animosity. Disagreement escalates into dehumanization. Too often, we judge groups by their worst examples while judging ourselves by our best intentions—forgetting the image of God we should see in each other." It should not surprise us that in the midst of crises in institutions around the globe, in the midst of a crumbling of values and the common good, we now see a corresponding problem in secondary education, especially in the private sector. If the temptation in the larger culture is to divide, demonize, and polarize, in the private school the temptation is to surrender the school and its mission to a transaction, to define education not as an art or a sacred opportunity, but rather a commodity, an insistence on individual advancement at any cost. This obsession with the self, with private advancement, with success by any means necessary, with a radical narrowing of the very spirit of learning, with an anxious and privileged definition of success leads first to private school students who are alienated, empty, and numb and later to adults who do not know how to collaborate, communicate, be respectful, cultivate kindness, empathy and concern, and sacrifice for the common good. The alarm call for this degree of educational distortion has been building for some time and emerged again recently from a New York Times article about an exclusive private school in the City that had reached a crisis of privilege and elitism and caused the Head of School to wonder how a school could teach students to care for “collective as well as individual well being” or develop “not only a commitment to advance their educational interests but to serve the common good and give generously for the rest of their lives.”

Of course, the problem emerges from the very form of the Head of School’s question. There really is not a divide between the process of learning, growing, and maturing and the cultivation of an awareness and commitment to others. There are not two divisions in a school—one for the Darwinian pursuit of the individualistic prize, one for the less sensational and attractive and relevant pursuit of character and leadership. They are joined, connected, ever-developing and emerging. If learning, ethics, character, and leadership are disjointed, separated, the results for a school and ultimately our national culture are disastrous. That is precisely why colleges and universities joined two years ago in a remarkable, though quickly forgotten document: Making Caring Common. Here is the executive summary: “Too often, today’s culture sends young people messages that emphasize personal success rather than concern for others and the common good. And too often— the college admissions process contributes to this problem.” This report makes the case that college admissions can send compelling messages that ethical engagement—especially concern for others and the common good—and intellectual engagement are highly important. The report announces that our national culture has drifted towards honoring personal ambition and accomplishment at the cost of a commitment to the common good. The summary observes that college admissions practices have contributed to this problem. But even as Making Caring Common announced a return to an emphasis on character and service, the authors fail to recognize that the very purpose of undergraduate education, expressed in mission statement after mission statement, connects the life of the mind to the cultivation of a civic community that is just, equitable, and generous. The colleges themselves fell in love with their own exclusivity, their own data, their own rankings, their own prestige and in so doing have indeed deepened the crisis of generosity and empathy we now experience. And a word on the title of the report: Caring is not common, even if it somehow becomes a human norm; rather, it is the expression of grace, love, empathy, and what Marilynne Robinson defines as “human grandeur.” It is not for colleges to decide generosity is appropriate again. It is an enduring truth—not a fad to be gamed and undermined. The question is whether the university, college and private school tradition in America is interested in contributing to and intensifying the problems we face or instead seeks to be part of the human movement towards reconciliation, rescue, goodness, and peace. Our own secondary school histories quite frankly are mixed on this question, for far too long the American prep school tradition has celebrated hierarchy, privilege, status, and complacency and underinvested in financial aid, student diversity and a connection to the work of our democracy. The private school in my view has to be part of the national movement and insistence on a celebration of the promise and values of enlightened

citizens everywhere. If we retreat from our roles in civic society, if we become little, puny, entitlement zones, we contribute to the destruction of our democracy. We embrace the pursuit of wisdom, the articulation of a public good, the pursuit of a better, more just and equitable world as the essence of the curriculum and residential school, and as Marilynne Robinson writes in a current essay in the New York Review of Books, “the pursuit of knowledge in the liberal arts has led to decade after decade of progress, enlightenment, and hope in the world.” As an Episcopal school, we quite intentionally look with skepticism on the ways of the world: the way adolescence is fractured by social media; the way technology privileges superficial conversation, distraction, and narcissism; the way the hookup culture devalues and debases human respect, communication, dignity, and love; the way alcohol and drugs hinder brain development, maturation, and trust among students and parents, the way issues of hatred, intolerance, and cruelty seep back into our national conversation, the way some schools and students use service, exploit others in the name of service as a box to check on a college application, the way schools label students successful based on the name of the university they are accepted to attend. We look instead for commitments, accomplishments, moments that are real, not contrived: moments when screens are down, cameras off, and students live for, sacrifice for, and commit to causes far beyond themselves and support, honor, recognize, affirm, and inspire one another; moments when students display courage and grace in the face of adversity and tragedy; moments when, in the words of faculty member Devin Duprey, “students care: live, sacrifice, serve, and honor others; moments when students stand up for kindness, integrity, and the feelings of those on the margins; moments when faculty mentors bring out the very best in their students’ approach to life; moments when students commit to the process of learning, growing, maturing, especially when that voyage requires persistence, determination, and grit.” And yes, we do look at moments when the adult culture grows so disgusting, foul, disgraceful, and humiliating (think Weinstein) that they as students and scholars have to say enough. As adults, we model an approach and commitment to civic responsibility and to the relationship between education and the common good. In gathering today and tomorrow on this campus, we collectively suggest our faith and affirmation in a new generation of leaders, preparing with great enthusiasm to succeed us and to pick up our commitment, our spirit, our energy, our passion, our hopes and dreams and aspirations. We must all work together to affirm the journey each one of our students pursues and do all we can to model in words and actions our own restless commitment to learning, changing, developing, and committing. Yes, the news of our time can be dispiriting and disruptive; however, that narrative can and must be countered by what Marilynne Robinson describes as human grandeur, our best selves. She makes an eloquent call here for mutual reverence and grace. She writes: 55

“We are, as we have always been, dangerous creatures, the enemies of our own happiness. But the only hope we have ever found for this, the only melioration is in mutual reverence. God’s grace comes to us unmerited, the theologians say. But the grace we could extend to one another we consider it best to withhold in many cases, presumptively, or in the absence of what we consider true or sufficient merit (we being more particular than God) or because few gracious acts, if they really deserve the name, would stand up to cost benefit analysis. It is good old human meanness which finds its terms and pretexts in every age. The best argument against human grandeur is the meagerness of our response to it.” We at St. Andrew’s strive to teach, embody, model, and enact human reverence. We think it is time for human grandeur and human grace.

NOVEMBER 17, 2017

“We Are Doing This for Generations Yet Unborn.” “People who embrace the art and discipline of agapic energy live courageous, audacious, significant, and ever expanding lives. When we explore and enact courageous unconditional love, we uncover aspects of the human condition we never considered or discussed before.”

his 2017 year has brought us chaos, instability, violence, division in our nation, but in eloquent response, the year at St. Andrew’s found expression and inspiration from Bryan Stevenson in January and Diane Nash in November. Both leaders shared how their own experiences with inequality, prejudice, and intolerance awakened them to the full expression and exploration of their education and their lives. Nash led the intrepid movement to dismantle the iron gates of segregation. In her spirit, Stevenson continues to expose the racist tragedy of mass incarceration and the brutal legacy of lynching in the American South. In their powerful addresses in Engelhard Hall, they articulated the full expression of a life of wisdom, courage, and transformation, and in so doing they suggested that we do not have to rely on government to change the world: we have agency, responsibility, and spirit to do good work. Diane Nash began her remarks by teaching us the many forms of energy we may choose to share. We can devote our energy to idleness, distraction, narcissistic pursuits. We can unleash threats, violence, devastation. Or, we can focus our work, our discipline, our creativity on what she beautifully described as agapic energy—“the love of humankind.” Living with agapic energy in our hearts and spirit represents a powerful and vibrant response to the chaos of our time. It gives us the opportunity to define and explore the central purpose of our lives. We remember that Bryan Stevenson towards the end of his studies at Harvard Law School found himself surrounded by peers eager to embrace lucrative professional opportunities—all the while he felt a deep disconnect between his 57

studies, his work opportunities, and his own experience as a person of color in America. He filled that gap only when he met other lawyers who connected their work and sacrificed their own salaries to the cause of social justice, the very work Diane Nash began when she in her turn, refused the comfort and security of collegiate, academic, and social life because the scourge of segregation pierced her soul. She said: Nashville, was my first experience with this kind of segregation, and I felt outraged. When I obeyed segregation rules, it felt like I was agreeing that I was too inferior to go through the front door or into certain restaurants. You may remember the public and charter school teachers, leaders of Prep 9 and Oliver Scholars referring last Saturday at the Women’s Network Program to the same phrase Diane Nash uses—a simple phrase really: “the work.” The phrase suggests that their job and Nash’s job and Stevenson’s job involves participation and commitment to a vast human and historical movement towards a yet unfulfilled goal and mission. The phrase involves an embrace of difficulty, complexity, perseverance, endurance, and affirmation. For Nash, the work involved an arduous campaign using agapic energy to weaken, destroy, and expose the corruption of white supremacy and oppression. For the educators last weekend, the work involves a heroic insistence that despite governmental and bureaucratic neglect and incompetence, every child in America deserves good teachers, good schools, and access to higher education. These teachers work in the spirit of Diane Nash. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., captured the spirit of the work when he wrote in remarks delivered at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., in March 1968: I am sorry to say this morning that I am absolutely convinced that the forces of ill will in our nation—the people on the wrong side—have used time much more effectively than the forces of good will.... Somewhere we must come to see that human progress never rolls in on the wheels of inevitability. It comes through tireless efforts and the persistent work of individuals.... The work of agapic energy involves, of course, much more than changing the quality and nature of educational opportunity in America, exposing and rectifying the inhumanity of mass incarceration, and exposing modern forms and expressions of racial intolerance and violence. It involves the powerful intersection and synthesis of individual passion, social responsibility, love for humanity, and glaring problems in our society and world. The work is humanistic, not political, and it includes so many possibilities, explorations, and commitments:

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The work involves saving the earth and realizing that decisions we make today will now, soon, and forever affect all of us, particularly the poor and the vulnerable in our world. The work involves human rights, affirming dignity, sanctuary, and safety for all citizens of the world, in particular the poor, the homeless, the oppressed, the refugee, the immigrant. The work involves protecting religious expression and identity from outbreaks of intolerance, hatred, and violence. The work involves ending the danger of sexual harassment and assault in all aspects of contemporary life. The work involves protecting, affirming, and celebrating the LBGTQ community. The work involves listening to and responding to the voices Chloe Taft Kang introduced us to in her lecture last week—men, women, families, communities left behind in the wake of the end of the industrial era in our country and the world. The work involves feeling and replicating the scholarly and moral outrage of Emer O’dwyer as she studied the deliberate and systematic targeting of civilians in war time and as she described the danger of loose, reckless talk, and threat of the deployment of nuclear weapons in Asia. The work involves radical listening and respect for voices, political and religious perspectives, fears and anxieties different than our own. The work honors the miracle of health care and seeks to assure a quality doctor for every child in the world.

From the example of Nash and Stevenson, we have also learned this year that human beings find meaning, happiness, fulfillment, and grace when we embrace work that opens doors for others, honors voices other than our own, creates new opportunities for those denied agency and respect. People who embrace the art and discipline of agapic energy live courageous, audacious, significant, and ever expanding lives. When we explore and enact courageous unconditional love, we uncover aspects of the human condition we never considered or discussed before. As Eric Motley writes in his book Madison Park, “Alienation is difficult in a place where we all believed we were responsible for one another.” You remember, I know, the most powerful moment in Diane Nash’s talk as she reflected on how she and her fellow activists found the strength to continue to march into scenes and expressions of unspeakable hatred, violence, and murder. She said: There was a good chance that someone would get killed or seriously injured and understandably, people sometimes got very afraid. Sometimes, they’d get freaked out. On several occasions, I recall, when someone burst into tears and

super afraid and freaking out, the person next to them would put their arm around that person’s shoulder and say: ‘Remember what we are doing is important: we are doing this for generations yet unborn.’ [then, turning to you students, Nash said] I’d like you to know that before we met you, we loved you. We were trying to bring about the best society we could for you to be born into and come to age in. When Diane Nash said these words, I could feel her wave of love, concern, and agapic energy flow through your hearts. I have never witnessed such a moment of grace in my life here. Think, for a moment, about her words: the dramatic juxtaposition of an angry, desperate, violent, and certain mob, and the eloquent human gesture, the human touch on the shoulder, and the expression in words of agapic energy to ease the anxiety, fear, and terror. And more—the spreading of energy, love, and possibility to those yet unborn— those they only imagined but loved all the same. We give thanks for that moment, that vision, that assertion of radical love and reverence. Let’s think throughout the upcoming holiday of what the work of our lives will be for those yet to be born whom we revere and love. Surely, we can now imagine the way this school community will serve and activate such energy into the world.

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The Goal of “Aliveness” “We need a spirit of readiness, expectation, and vitality to stay alive to the moments that either teach us the meaning of life or allow us to share that vision of generosity with others.”

t is good to see you all after what I hope was a great winter break with family and friends. I hope this return day schedule eases your transition back to school, allows you to reflect on the good work and promise of the 2017-2018 school year, and focus on the crucial responsibilities we have for one another. Over the vacation, I read an essay titled, “Waking up to the Gift of Aliveness,” written by a professor of philosophy at Harvard University, Sean Kelly. The piece pays tribute to a teacher Kelly had in his undergraduate career, Hubert Dreyfus, and the source of the tribute is an epiphany created by finding and reading a long forgotten and discarded sentence from a notebook from a lecture class: the sentence read: “The goal of life, for Pascal, is not happiness, peace, or fulfilment, but aliveness.” What made this moment an epiphany was that Kelly read that note decades after he had taken Dreyfus’ course. In fact, Kelly had turned back to his old notebook precisely because he, now a professor, was teaching the philosophy of Blaise Pascal in one of the courses he now taught at Harvard. In the intervening years, the notebook had been lost and forgotten, only to reappear miraculously not as a collection of observations that Kelly needed to remember for an exam—but instead a philosophy, an ethic he could live by. Both for Sean Kelly and for us here at St. Andrew’s, the Dreyfus quotation—the goal of life is aliveness—is a powerful one for us to consider and remember in the winter and in the opening moments of 2018. It reminds us that our very lives are miraculous, full of great potential for dramatic and life and world changing contributions, discoveries, innovations. For Kelly, the phrase from his notes resonated because as an adult he realized that what we call the routines and schedules of life do at times lull us to sleep, make us believe that the spontaneous, the miraculous, the essence of life are forever buried under the essential business and routine of our lives. John Gardner described our passive and unfulfilled 61

potential with these words: “Most men and women go through their lives using no more than a fraction—usually a very small fraction—of the possibilities within them. The reservoir of unused talent is vast.” A note that lay dormant awakened Kelly. Here is how he described the phenomenon of reading that sentence decades after his class was over: When you really feel alive, your past, your present, and your future somehow make sense together as the unity they have always promised to be. I sometimes feel truly alive for instance, when I am teaching my students. When it is going well, when we are connected and engaged and the classroom is buzzing, it is not just that we are sharing a special moment together. For me, that moment has the special character that it does because it fulfills the promise implicit in moments like that from my own childhood and youth. It is the validation of what came before as it is the preparation for what comes after. When you see in your students the sense that what is happening now will stay in them, will remain alive as a future memory that can sustain them in some other moment, far away and different from the one we are now sharing, then the moment vibrates with an energy it wouldn’t otherwise have. Let’s think about that passage—when we feel really alive, Kelly suggests, we see ourselves as artists, somehow honoring and building on who taught and nurtured us, what was taught to us, and how we learned. We who teach honor our own teachers, our parents, our grandparents, our role models—we offer their wisdom electrified by our own personal gifts and insights. For you who now learn, you will carry this spirit, this vision, this presence, this wisdom onto your own lives, and then pass it on to the young people under your care someday in family, work, or play. The point Kelly makes is that the moments of our lives, the conversations we have on dorm, in advisee groups, in classes, have the potential to reappear and reignite our souls long after those days have apparently ended. When I teach, for instance, I remember the words of my professor Fred Stocking, now deceased, as he taught me that literature could illuminate the meaning of life. When I lead, I remember the inspiration of my high school soccer coach who said before a big game, “This is a great opportunity,” thereby unleashing a confidence and audacity that led us to victory. What is happening every day here at St. Andrew’s is the collection and cultivation of people and insights and habits of mind and heart that will love and support and inspire you each and every day, yes, in moments of happiness, but more importantly when we deal with tragedy and difficult moments now and for the rest of your lives. This is extraordinary and magnificent. On my Head of School bulletin board, I posted an article over the break about the Naval Academy’s place kicker, who missed the game winning field goal in the final seconds of the rivalry game with Army. This is a story of courage, teamwork, and grace. Even as the

kick sailed wide and the game was lost, Bennett Moehring felt the energy and support of his teammates: “I'll never forget my team wouldn’t let me fall, even though I’d just let them down,” he recalls. Over the days and weeks after the kick, New York Times reporter Juliet Macur writes, “Moehring heard from generations of Navy football players, offering him their support, saying he had tried his best and that was all Midshipmen could ever ask for.” He observed, “It felt like a giant network of brotherhood was catching me.” It turns out Moehring had also taken a course in leadership at the Naval Academy: Macur writes: “In class, he had practiced how to put a positive spin on bad news and motivate people who were struggling. His professor, a former Navy Seal, often talked to him after class, giving advice on resilience and relating how the Seals would succeed in missions that did not go as planned.” “It’s all about how you are going to respond,” the professor would say. “People are going to see that and they are going to say, is this a guy worth following?” By the end of his two weeks of conversations and reflections, Bennett emerged more strong, confident, and assertive. “I’m just like, thanks guys. I’ll hit it next time.” We need a spirit of readiness, expectation, and vitality to stay alive to the moments that either teach us the meaning of life or allow us to share that vision of generosity with others. We need in these upcoming two short months to seize the beauty of winter as powerfully as we embrace the spring. How? By going on the offensive for moments of creativity, serenity, and human connection; by supporting one another unconditionally; by living lives of integrity; by honoring the soul, spirit, body of every single person; by looking for the light of epiphany to shine in every classroom; by rejecting the false allure of drugs and alcohol; by continuing a school year that honors and respects the spirit of St. Andrew’s; by tackling February with the greatest assertion of joy, vitality, and exuberance ever witnessed here; by finding beauty in the slow and gorgeous awakening of life we can observe even in the apparent darkness of winter. The goal of life is aliveness, for then we are awakened to the beauty, majesty, dignity, and promise of every human being and our natural world.

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Head of School’s Statement on the Tragedy in Parkland “But is any of this any way to cultivate a new generation of peace, hope, and trust?”

or those of us who live in or work in schools, news of yet another school shooting in the United States evokes the same horror, outrage, and pain we all felt in 1999 as we confronted the tragedy at Columbine. Invariably, news of this kind makes us return to and study our emergency plans, the ones that have steadily evolved as the frequency of mass shootings has provided, ironically and sadly, the bloody evidence we needed for new best practices, now known literally and euphemistically as “Run, Hide, Fight.” What tends to get lost in both our grief and emergency planning is the cruel dramatic irony of the situation our culture has placed us in. Schools are sanctuaries, sacred spaces of hope, creativity, and regeneration in our democracy. Each school in America does its imperfect best to create a culture for students that serves as a refreshing and inspiring portrait of what our national community and democracy might look like. We practice civility, kindness, compassion, citizenship, reverence for diversity, and respect for human rights. By word and example, we say that education, public, private, charter, opens up doors of opportunity to endless possibilities for achievement, service, and leadership. We appreciate, every day, the faith, trust, and expectation parents express as they say goodbye each day to their children as they walk, board buses, join carpools, and arrive to the doors of our schools. But our country now declares that in the midst of this educational sanctuary, we must transform the school, the campus, the immediate community into a rigid locked camp. We must, our country says, prepare to respond to weapons of destruction and terror. We must, our country says, train our children to survive, run, hide, fight for their very lives. We must, our country says, ask principals and teachers to lay down their lives for their beloved children. 64

But is any of this any way to cultivate a new generation of peace, hope, and trust? You hear today the voices of outrage from students in Florida who witnessed firsthand the madness of the culture we have accepted as part of 21st century American life. They demand a way forward that would transform â&#x20AC;&#x153;Run, Hide, Fightâ&#x20AC;? to a new American approach that would honor the safety, serenity, and peace we who work in schools promise our students every day. It is time for everyone in America to hear these voices.

MARCH 21, 2018

The Odyssey “With wisdom and experience, we eventually understand that our lives are vibrant, energetic, discerning, and loving only when we are in the process of living: of learning of changing, of questioning, of developing.”

find myself reading and thinking a lot these days about the ways we construct our moral and ethical foundation, our habits of empathy, sensitivity, and clarity regarding our view of the humanity and the world. And because I am privileged and honored to live alongside each of you, I think of how St. Andrew’s can be a source of light, clarity, courage, and meaning in your lives. Now, you might know that the poem “Ithaka” alludes to Odysseus’ famous journey home to Ithaca as depicted in Homer’s great epic The Odyssey. I spent much of the spring vacation reading, studying, and thinking about a book entitled An Odyssey, written by Bard College Professor David Mendelsohn. In this book, Professor Mendelsohn describes his experience teaching The Odyssey to his freshmen undergraduate students and to his 81-year-old father who attended and participated in the class every day during the semester. In addition, Mendelsohn’s book describes a trip he and his father made the summer after the class on The Odyssey ended: a 10-day excursion with the intention to visit many of the sites, including Ithaca, described so vividly in Homer’s poem. Therefore, Mendelsohn proposes to write about four odysseys—the one written by Homer; the odyssey of his experience teaching a seminar that included his father; the odyssey of the 10-day trip with his father; and finally, the odyssey of a son and a father’s slow, emerging sense of understanding, reconciliation, and confrontation with old age, illness, and death. Implicit in Homer’s work and Mendelsohn’s teaching is the suggestion that our lives are in their own right heroic journeys, full of twists and turns and full of the potential for hope, promise, understanding, and recognition. Both Homer and Mendelsohn suggest our

learning essentially never ends, as long as we keep living, seeking, discovering, questioning, traveling, adventuring. Now I learned about this beautiful Greek poem “Ithaka” by CP Cavafy first through the recommendation of my friend Mr. Speers (he found it on the program of the memorial service for former Princeton President William Bowen) and again through Mendelsohn’s book. Professor Mendelsohn actually delivers a lecture on the poem in the latter stages of the trip he and his father made together, precisely at the time when the cruise ship captain had announced that because of bad weather, the trip to Ithaca would not be possible. More on that detail in a few minutes... Homer’s The Odyssey resonates with the reader or listener on both literal and metaphorical levels—we are intrigued and fascinated by the plot, the drama of the story: the painful education on leadership and responsibility Telemachus must pursue as his home, family, and values are threatened; the patience, endurance, and love Penelope expresses as she refuses to give up on the possibility of her husband’s return; the slow, adventure filled, laborious return of Odysseus to his home over 10 years since his departure; the first tentative, skeptical, and then joyful reunion of Odysseus with his wife Penelope, son Telemachus, father Laertes; (and his ancient and loyal dog); Odysseus’ revenge and destruction of the suitors whose licentious behavior had been so contrary to the codes and expectations of propriety and hospitality. But the epic poem also expands metaphorically: it is easy to imagine and see our lives as an odyssey, a voyage, an endeavor to move into adulthood, to express steadfast love and loyalty, and an attempt to get back home, however we define that term. Our Ithacas (points of destination and ambition) range from the immediate (graduation, college, career) to a future exploration of love, commitment, retirement, old age, and death. And to extend Homer’s metaphorical implications even more, we each have complex and dynamic relationships with our parents and guardians in our roles as sons and daughters. One moment we are Telemachus, trying to understand how to live in the shadow of a powerful and missing parent, tentatively making our way in a seemingly hostile world; the next we are Odysseus fighting to return, accomplish justice, and reunite our family. Everything, it seems, in our families is always in flux. We can be simultaneously daughter, son, mother, father, grandfather, grandmother. This poem, “Ithaka” by CP Cavafy, reminds us eloquently that though we have a number of Ithacas (we notice the plural in the last stanza), the journey, the adventure, the discovery, the education, the research, the sheer beauty and vitality of each day, the miracle of life itself are central, elemental—much more important than the ultimate arrival. In fact, Cavafy suggests that meaning, illumination emerges in the midst of an odyssey, not at the end of it. This is a profound insight for all of us—young and older—to remember, living as we do in a culture that demands immediate answers about our specific, tangible, measurable plans and accomplishments in our lives. To be clear, we need to bring a steady stream of energy, intention, vitality, and goodness to our lives. And if we do, the actual day to day experiences we have will be much more 67

important and enlightening than where exactly we go from here or where we arrive in the remainder of our lives. Our Ithacas are important as lighthouses and goals, but they can sometimes blind us and make us ignore the fact that the essential connections in our lives flourish on the journey, not on the arrival. Worse, some Ithacas in the modern world begin as goals and aspirations but end up as mirages, disguising the essential meaning, contorting the very beauty of our lives. Let’s think for a few minutes about what the poem has to say to us. First, Cavafy disrupts our modern expectations about the pursuit of our goals and ambitions—the speaker urges us to see and embrace the journey itself as central, as an experience that is itself full of surprises, illuminations, recognitions, the kind of discoveries made either through patient and reflective education or generous and enlightened travel. The word “adventurous” suggests a kind of liberation, an exploration that leads to moments of unexpected experiences, discoveries, and explorations. A philosophy of education that seeks to cultivate adventure, exploration, and creativity captures the very promise of the liberal arts secondary school and college; however, too often, the quest for admission, the anxiety of competition prevents the full expression of creativity and discovery. The routines of school, the ever-looming college application process can block imagination, adventure, discovery. Later in the 20th century, the American writer Mark Twain would use the word adventures in the title of his great novel about Huck Finn, a character who in his own American odyssey refuses to be bound by the limitations, rigidity hierarchy, and racism of his society and its oppressive and stifling educational practices. Huck therefore embarks on a voyage with Jim that ultimately teaches him more than any school or college could about the emptiness of the adult civilized world. By the end of the novel, Huck has seen enough—he rejects any socially defined Ithaca and lights out for the territories. Yes, Cavafy acknowledges, there are dangers, obstacles, threats ahead of us in our lives. We may meet people (or a god like Poseidon) who seek to thwart, frustrate, and paralyze us; we may confront a Cyclops who, Ms. Furlonge suggests, is bent on decisive and obsessive destruction of us, or flee from the Laistrygonians who express a fierce destructive appetite and force. However, the speaker argues we have control over these threats, not by living small, frightened, timid lives but through the very force and energy of our wills and souls. The speaker’s tone is reassuring, confident calm: “Laistrygonians and Cyclops, angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them: you’ll never find things like that on your way as long as you keep your thoughts raised high, as long as a rare excitement stirs your spirit and your body. Laistrygonians and Cyclops

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them unless you bring them along inside your soul, unless your soul sets them up in front of you.” These lines do not deny the reality that we may face forces in our life, in our society, in our world that have the ability, intent, and historical power to threaten or even plague us, but the lines beautifully imply we have individual and collective agency, power, and courage to triumph over and defeat these antagonists. We refuse to be victims; we refuse to be silenced. We keep, the speaker says, our thoughts raised high: we hold fast to the rare excitement of life that awakens and energizes us; our soul and spirit refuse to entertain those who seek to imprison or denounce us. We are free. Once we begin to live in this way, we are open to life, to discovery, to discernment. In the second stanza, we sense the freshness, the aroma, the peace and serenity of a new day: a summer morning and pleasure, joy at the sight of a gleaming new harbor and the collection of beautiful, delicate, and astonishing objects (mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony, sensual perfume of every kind); we embrace the opportunity to study and learn in Egyptian cities, “gathering stores of knowledge from their scholars.” The speaker encourages us to linger, to enjoy, and to embrace the very vitality, goodness, intelligence, and energy of these places, for Ithaca, our destination, it turns out, is a goal, a destination to keep in mind, but ultimately not at all a destination full of vitality and energy. It is, rather a place where we go when all our living, learning, giving, has reached its peak. Paradoxically, the speaker observes, “Ithaca has nothing left to give you now." With wisdom and experience, we eventually understand that our lives are vibrant, energetic, discerning, and loving only when we are in the process of living: of learning of changing, of questioning, of developing. Reflecting on this poem, Professor Mendelsohn writes that “being home in familiar surroundings rules something out from their lives.” Through those words, he suggests that the heart of our moral, ethical, spiritual, educational journey should be electric, dynamic, ever changing—once we stop learning, studying, creating, becoming, we are prey to the forces that will paralyze and entrap us. The only forces that can defeat, distort, or paralyze us are those we place on ourselves. Mendelsohn and his father never reach Ithaca, but as Cavafy’s poem predicted, the real work of connection, transformation, and recognition emerged from the lessons father and son learned both in the classroom and on the voyage they undertook together. Mendelsohn in particular begins to understand the character and spirit of his father in new and vivid and astonishing detail simply by listening, asking questions, and realizing that his father had a full and complex life before he the son was ever born. What happens when we intentionally and strategically sacrifice our vitality, credibility, humanity, compassion, and identity to force our way to Ithaca, only to discover (as Ms. Furlonge reminds me) that the physical landscape there happens to be severe, desolate, and barren? 69

You may have met adults or students who played the game or gamed the system to get to an undergraduate, graduate, career Ithaca, desperately convinced that the contortion of their lives would be worth it on arrival at the shore of Ithaca. That does not work all that well... Such lives most often express and reflect frustration, cynicism, emptiness, and fragmentation. In contrast, think of those who have pursued a passion, an idea, a cause, and made their voyage through education, personal life, and career one of creativity, discovery, and joy. That is the spirit we should be pursuing here in these days, months, and years we spend together. Your lives are miraculous, unique, original, and creative. May St. Andrew’s inspire creativity, joy, discovery, and passion long before we reach the shores of Ithaca. And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you. Wise as you have become, so full of experience, you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

OCTOBER 29, 2018 PA R E N T S W E E K E N D

A St. Andrew’s Response to Fragmentation and Chaos “What we are trying to do at St. Andrew’s, with the benefit of an all-residential experience, is to cultivate habits of mind and heart that are real, authentic, and responsible. In this era of St. Andrew’s history, students have indeed sacrificed to make this culture real, recognizable, and vibrant.”

hank you for joining us for Parents Weekend at St. Andrew’s. These three days represent our opportunity as a school community to thank and honor you all for the love, support, and sacrifice you express and make for your sons and daughters at St. Andrew’s. Just the other day, I had the opportunity to read one of our senior’s college essays, and because it was such a beautiful tribute to her mother, I asked Nicole Lopez ’19 for permission to read the first paragraph as a way of welcoming and honoring all of you. She writes: “Every day, for as long as I could remember, I would witness my mom leave through our front door at 4:00 p.m. and catch a train to her job in Manhattan. Sometimes around 2:00 a.m. the next morning, I would be drawn out of my sleep by the sounds of her gentle footsteps leading their way through our dark living room stopping at our kitchen counter, where I would hear the jingle of the keys drop onto the cracked tile. Comforted by the rhythm of these noises, I would drift back to sleep, in a bed right beside those of my older sister and older brother. These same footsteps would be standing by my bedside a short five hours later, tenderly awakening me to get ready for school.”

I am proud to say that I was one of Nicole’s teachers, though I really can’t take any credit for the beauty of her prose and the powerful sensitivity and love she communicates here. Her voice speaks for all of us: you are here today because you have made educational opportunity the most important priority in your family’s life. You have simultaneously expressed a deep and profound hope for the future of this country and the world. It is an interesting experience to lead a school in a period of such anger, distrust, fear, and suspicion in the country. I have always identified St. Andrew’s as distinctly countercultural in its redefinition of the American boarding school: in its approach to questions about values, ethical principles, and culture; in its exploration of the very purpose of this form of education. But now, we are countercultural in our resistance to influences that seek to widen differences, ruin collaboration and creativity, and make the dream of our country’s more perfect union less and less feasible. In the midst of our own fervent political attacks and skirmishes over the past few months, a lot of us missed the news that Russian operatives have gotten quickly to work on exploiting this divide, offering equal opportunity support for the intolerance and suspicion of both the left and the right. It is truly remarkable that the world’s greatest democracy now stands so vulnerable to strategic and destructive attacks that essentially capitalize on our own inclination and desire to believe the worst, not of our foes, but our fellow countrymen and women. Those of us who care about the history, promise, and potential of America need to get to work to repair and heal this vulnerability. Families and schools seem like the perfect places for such regeneration. Here are a few initiatives we all can pursue together, each depending on the collaboration of parents, faculty, and students. Getting the Narrative Right Despite the barrage of news featuring dysfunction, polarity, even violence, the United States and the world have remarkable people, organizations, and initiatives designed to heal, create community, and represent hope in this century. Over the years, this Engelhard stage has featured such men and women: from Bryan Stevenson, to Paul Farmer, to Diane Nash, to St. Andrew’s leaders (parents, past parents, alumni, trustees) in business, medicine, education, and the arts. We have hope, progress, and enlightenment on our side. We educate students who have come of age at a time when so many modes of intolerance and discrimination have been exposed, revealed, recognized as fraudulent, out moded and empty. Yes, those voices of hatred and division can be teased to life again, but even granting the enduring power of these dying cults, the future belongs to this generation who are so eager to embrace human rights, proximity, humility, and grace. We as adults need to introduce students to those who literally awaken each day with a desire to improve the prospects, hopes, and dreams of the human family. These 72

transformational people are you and your neighbors, acquaintances, role models, and exemplars. These people teach our students that with hard work, courage, resilience, and kindness, they can change the world. These people are not ideological; they are passionate agents of change, reconciliation, and collaboration. They speak about and witness eternal truths that bind us together. We can work together in the coming years to deepen the study and appreciation of people and organizations who contribute to a public good. Consider these words written this week by Justice Sandra Day O’Connor: “Not long after I retired from the Supreme Court..., I made a commitment to myself, my family, and my country that I would use whatever years I have left to advance civic learning and engagement. I feel so strongly about the topic because I have seen first hand how vital it is for all citizens to understand our Constitution and unique form of government, and participate actively in their communities. It is through shared understanding of who we are that we can follow the approaches that have served us best over time, working together in communities and in government to solve problems, putting country and the public good above party and self interest and holding our key governmental institutions accountable.” Elevate the Norms, the Principles, The Spirit of our Families and Schools I know that the best families and the best schools expect a lot of responsibility, character, love, and empathy from young people. They never say to their children or their students that the commitment to kindness, generosity, and service is only activated in adulthood. They never say that elementary, middle, secondary school, or college are years free of ethical and moral foundations, responsibilities, and commitments. They never spoil their children by a worship of materialism, arrogance, or superiority. They never need to have their children or students learn about the existence and threat of harassment, hazing, abuse, sexual assault, intolerance, or bigotry because from day one, the family and school stand for eternal truths and sacred principles honoring human equality, empathy, compassion, and dignity. They believe in the power of families and schools to replace an egotistical or selfish mindset with one that is patient, affirming, and transformational. Families and schools have inspiring narratives, heroes and heroines, sacred rituals and traditions. What we are trying to do at St. Andrew’s, with the benefit of an all-residential experience, is to cultivate habits of mind and heart that are real, authentic, and responsible. In this era of St. Andrew’s history, students have indeed sacrificed to make this culture real, recognizable, and vibrant. And so, as we begin a new year full of complexity, energy, and challenge, I try to remind our students that the cultivation of grace requires real effort, real discipline, and real commitment. Please join us in this discussion with your students. Ask them, whenever you can, not only how they are doing, how they are learning, how they are progressing; also ask them 73

how they are growing in grace, humility, and kindness. Ask them how their peer circles are expanding. Ask them how well they seek out others who view the world differently; ask them how they experience and express kindness, concern, and empathy for their own family. Ask them what they stand up for every day, without fail. Ask them about their student and faculty role models and exemplars. Ask them to reduce their social media profile and create a life that is real, substantial, significant, and passionate. Articulate the Power of Truth and Honor Across the nation and world, we are seeing a challenge to notions of honor, integrity, and the truth. These violations conspire to fuel dangerous transgressions against the human spirit. It is not only the disintegration of truth that should alarm us: it is the permission a culture of deceit gives to expressions and acts against human decency, civility, and honor. “Everything is permitted,” thinks one of Dostoevsky’s characters as he is tempted by the breakdown of spiritual and moral foundations. And so, he ventures forth like Shakespeare’s Macbeth, to violate and desecrate a human life. I value our honor code’s mission statement: “We seek to live lives of integrity in moments small and large, in all we say and do.” This statement in and of itself has become decidedly countercultural, for it implies we seek out a consistency in our approach to what we do, what we say, and what we believe, regardless of the circumstances that surround us, and especially in moments when our integrity and commitment to the truth will hurt our own self interest or be invisible to everyone. I believe that a commitment to truth and integrity halts the progression, advance, and permission of violence and absolute power. When I grow troubled by the state of the world, I turn to Shakespeare and then inevitably to our greatest current commentator on his work, Stephen Greenblatt. He argues that in his brilliant plays, Shakespeare suggests that betrayal, deceit, and deception have always existed, but what has always been fundamental, essential, and reliable are courageous voices of the truth to confront and defeat the essential degradation of their time. We might remember Emilia in Othello, or MacDuff in Macbeth, or the servant of Cornwall in King Lear who refuses to remain silent as the play dissolves into torture and contempt for human rights. We as adults have to model and enact an approach to the truth that is decidedly open, consistent, courageous, and logical. We have to be the people devoted to the “collective decency” and “the popular spirit of humanity,” Greenblatt describes in this passage: “The Shakespearean leaders are often compromised and corruptible; the crowd is often foolish, ungrateful, easily misled by demagogues, and slow to understand where its real interests lie. There are periods, sometimes extended 74

periods, during which the cruelest motives of the basest people seem to be triumphant. But Shakespeare believed that the tyrants and their minions would ultimately fail, brought down by their own viciousness and by a popular spirit of humanity that could be suppressed but never completely extinguished. The best chance for the recovery of collective decency lay, he thought, in the political action of ordinary citizens. He never lost sight of the people who steadfastly remained silent when they were exhorted to shout their support for the tyrant or the servant who tried to stop his vicious master from torturing a prisoner, or the hungry citizen who demanded economic justice.” Developing a Collective Approach to the Pollution that Threatens to Influence and Defeat the Creativity and Generosity of Youth Those of us who work in the world of education can quickly identify the smog that can ruin the development of a 21st Century citizen, scholar, and leader: ȅȅ ȅȅ

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A dearth of love, support, affirmation, and encouragement, on the part of parents, guardians, and school. Parental or institutional forces that essentially create anxiety or demean or diminish the pursuit of ideas, the cultivation of passion, or the pursuit of a life of meaning and service. The narrative of perfection that strangles education with a rigid series of requirements, demands, and sacrifices. We know that this culture of perfection has to a large degree been augmented and encouraged by the power of the college admissions process in America. But just because the colleges insist on a public demonstration of perfection, schools and families do not have to relinquish their values and their dedication to a cultivation of citizens who will change the world. The surrender of our commitment to teach, sustain, and embody resilience. The coddling of the adolescent experience leads to chaos and confusion in adulthood. The lowering of norms that protect and inspire the development, growth and energy of young people: accepting as if it is inevitable, the use of alcohol, drugs, juuling, and other forms of chemical substances. The worship of the screen and the retreat of adolescents and adults from the proximity, engagement, and purpose great communities embody.

It seems logical then that we as teachers and parents keep the focus on aspirational rather than anxiety provoking goals. Students achieve more, play better, create more powerfully when we remind them of the power of hard work, dedication, and resilience; when we tell them that if they have dreams of doing magnificent things in their lives, they have our belief, support, and encouragement; that failure precedes accomplishment; that adolescence does not have to be grim, strategic, and exhausting; rather it can and should

be the vital and most enlightening stage in life, a time when moral and ethical principles and commitments are built and confirmed. You as parents come to us this weekend as vital reinforcements of our community values and spirit. We need your confirmation, affirmation, and support. Thank you.

NOVEMBER 2, 2018

Head of School’s Statement on Tree of Life Synagogue Tragedy “We are seeking every day to connect our students and our school to people, organizations, and initiatives that reflect a belief in the promise of humanity.”

hroughout this past week, St. Andrew’s has joined the nation and the world in mourning and in reflection upon the shootings in the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. Two of our current families live in the community surrounding the synagogue, and Saturday evening members of the Jewish community at St. Andrew’s gathered in the Chapel to grieve and pray for the victims and their families. Last Sunday and today in Chapel, the full school community joined together in prayer, seeking to express solidarity, support, love, and courage to all those victimized and threatened by the poison of anti-Semitism. We know very well that the scourge of hatred and intolerance still lives in our land and in the human heart, strengthened and affirmed by the desperate voices gathering on social media platforms and by the gap created by the increasing division, polarity, and incivility of our world. We saw last week and last summer in Charlottesville, Virginia what happens when prejudice, violence, racism, and anti-Semitism move out of the darkest shadows into the public square. In a matter of moments, as author Nathan Englander observed last summer, it seemed as if nearly a century of progress, enlightenment, and reconciliation had disappeared. Just last week, I learned of the powerful memorial service that took place in the National Cathedral for Matthew Shepard, tortured and killed twenty years ago in a horrible hate crime that awakened the country to the violence and contempt directed at the LGBTQ community. Two decades ago, Matthew Shepard’s parents could not be sure that their son’s remains would be respected by hate groups who appeared at his funeral carrying rude and offensive signs. And so they waited until the call from the National Cathedral came and 77

voices of love, compassion, and understanding had gained confirmation and support in America. Last week we heard the words of Bishop Gene Robinson (himself a courageous figure in the story of the Episcopal Church’s embrace of diversity) reminding us that “the danger of labeling others different from ourselves [becomes] code for ‘not really human’ and then you can do anything to them that you like.” Then came the shootings in Pittsburgh. All communities of hope study and enact the enduring power of love and empathy, and therefore we at St. Andrew’s know how to address hatred and contempt for the Other. We know how to live with abiding respect and reverence for the human family. We realize that the diversity of the St. Andrew’s community leads to what Bryan Stevenson calls “proximity,” our opportunity to live with and learn from people quite different than ourselves. We know living in community and seeking new forms of community are the best ways to defeat intolerance and hatred. But especially as we self-segregate, as we flock to hear the voices that echo our own presumptions and world views, as we seek to shut down avenues of communication and collaboration, we also need an imaginative, intellectual, and moral empathy that gives us the vision, generosity, and humility to imagine what injustice, prejudice, and suffering feels like and looks like all across the globe. With our narrowing tribal lenses, we miss and neglect a lot. We also refuse to allow the acts and words of extremists to overwhelm the real and inspiring narrative of creativity, generosity, and progress within our country. We are seeking every day to connect our students and our school to people, organizations, and initiatives that reflect a belief in the promise of humanity. Even in the devastating aftermath of the shootings, a powerful and paradoxical assertion of goodness emerged, as an anti-Semitic killer was treated and healed by Jewish doctors and nurses and checked on by the president of the hospital, Dr. Jeffrey K. Cohen, himself, as Nicholas Kristof writes, “a member of the congregation that had been attacked.” As we pray for and honor the victims of this tragedy, we in the extended St. Andrew’s community stand for peace, for human fellowship, and an end to hatred and intolerance. We particularly today stand in solidarity with our Jewish brothers and sisters here and throughout the world.

NOVEMBER 29, 2018

Fighting for Financial Aid “...while every other American boarding school was created for the most affluent in American society, St. Andrew’s privileged financial aid students; it was and is their school, their open door, their second home, their community.”

hen Walden Pell received an invitation to become St. Andrew’s first Head of School, the School’s Founder Alexis Felix duPont surprised him by saying that in addition to buying the land and building the School, he intended to create a sizeable endowment to support the mission and operation. At first, Dr. Pell was suspicious of a school supported and funded by a generous endowment; he memorably said that he was not sure he wanted to lead a school with “a silver spoon in its mouth,” a figure of speech that implied that the school would be immediately entitled, privileged, rich, and therefore he implied, weak, pampered and complacent. After speaking with the Founder, Walden Pell discovered that every essence of the St. Andrew’s experiment involved something very different. The School began, emerged, and strengthened itself as the very antithesis of the American boarding school. Our endowment gave us the unique opportunity to invest in an American principle of equality of opportunity. Mr. duPont created the first American boarding school with a mission to educate students from all socioeconomic backgrounds, and together four Heads of School were given the opportunity to make sure the St. Andrew’s experiment in education expanded to include the rich diversity of the American and global family. In other words, while every other American boarding school was created for the most affluent in American society, St. Andrew’s privileged financial aid students; it was and is their school, their open door, their second home, their community. And precisely because of this generous and unfolding experiment in opportunity and inclusion, we all came to St. Andrew’s: teachers who sought to teach at a school with students from a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences; students from all socioeconomic groups who wanted to

cultivate excellence and friendship in a community that reflected the spectrum of America and the world. This is a story of hope, of meaning, of illumination, and of purpose. What is an endowment, or to be more specific, what is the purpose of an endowment for a secondary school like St. Andrew’s? As Dr. Pell’s phrase teaches us, it is easy to make erroneous assumptions about endowments. You may think that St. Andrew’s has a big endowment and therefore lots of money to spend. That is not really true at all. Yes, St. Andrew’s has an endowment of nearly $200 million dollars, but in many ways the audacious nature of the School’s many commitments and principles make that endowment work harder than any other among our peer boarding schools for it helps support a world class faculty, an academic program featuring small classes and intensive collaboration with faculty, an all residential student body and faculty, a commitment to the creation of a small community of 310 students, a generous and transformational financial aid program, the care and preservation and development of a 21st century campus, yearly security, technological and maintenance needs. The best way to describe the endowment at St. Andrew’s is to say that it fuels the present and the future plans and aspirations of the School. It is not exactly a fund to be used only for future needs, for we depend on the endowment to generate income each year to support at least 40 percent of the School’s $23 million budget. (Our Saints Fund supplies around 10 percent and tuition 45 to 50 percent of our budget.) The endowment is not an account designed merely for expenses, for the endowment must continue to grow and flourish even as if we use it significantly year after year. If we spend too much, we compromise the experience and opportunity of future generations. If we spend too little, we compromise the diversity and progress and momentum of the community today. If the endowment does not grow through both gifts and investment returns, both the present and the future are imperiled. The way we strike that balance each year is to use only a limited and disciplined percentage of the endowment (4 to 4.5 percent) and seek to grow the endowment both through investments and capital gifts. This year, we spend $8.3 million dollars of that endowment and seek to both replace that draw and increase the endowment. It is the only way to make the School sustainable. We try to make sure that every dollar we spend on the life of this School serves our own distinctive spirit and mission. At St. Andrew’s, preserving and cultivating the endowment are vital necessities. Think of the endowment as the source of the School’s culture, values, and community. Think of it as the resource that delivers, year after year, decade after decade, on the Founders promise of a school open to all regardless of a family’s financial circumstance. Think of the endowment as our way of participating in the American belief in equality of opportunity for all. Think of the endowment as the source of creativity, innovation for St. Andrew’s Heads of School as they seek to define and achieve each era’s definition of excellence. Think of the endowment as the means to celebrate and support this great teaching and mentoring faculty and staff, so dedicated to inspiring the energy and potential of each student. Think of the endowment as liberating the energy and creativity of graduates all 80

across the nation and world, united as they are in a belief in generosity of spirit, integrity, service, and the pursuit of a public good. Think of the endowment as the living symbol of the generosity and commitment of all St. Andreans. Think of the endowment as the resource that calls us to be generous and faithful in our commitment to serve the needs of others. (It created St. Anne’s School, the Delaware College Scholars Program, our relationship with Special Olympics Delaware, and other community commitments.) Think of ways to save the endowment, both through resisting materialism (endemic in private schools) and practicing conservation of both natural and financial resources. Think of the endowment as the responsibility of every person who has benefitted from the experience and opportunity of this School. Think of the endowment and its cultivation, growth, and care as the responsibility of every current and graduating class within the School. We as an extended school community celebrate Founders Day by embracing the same radical concept of generosity our Founder modeled. I encourage you as students to understand that each day here is a miracle of generosity created by people who wanted you to have this School as the foundation of your life and education. Our Trustees, Advancement office, and I work very hard every day to honor, connect with, and inform our full constituency of the unfolding energy and narrative of the School, and then to invite St. Andreans to give back to the School that meant so much to them and their families. Every gift to the Saints Fund allows us to reduce the amount of money we need to draw from the endowment. Last year, the Saints Fund raised over $2.5 million and covered over 10 percent of our operating budget. 100 percent of the Class of 2018 gave to that fund. The endowment we saved because of those gifts now can grow and support the future needs of the students and the School. This year our goal is to take that fund to $2.7 million. The Saints Fund is a powerful and important way for all of us to give back. We also ask for and receive capital gifts and planned gifts to build new facilities, renovate physical spaces, and fund faculty support and student financial aid. The Amos renovation is a $13 million project, to be fully funded by capital gifts—we have already raised $10 million for the building. The field house, the Arts Center, the new squash courts, the tennis courts, the lower level of Founders were all made possible by recent capital gifts. Take the time to pause and study the plaques in those buildings noting and celebrating the many donors who gave so we would have, for instance, Engelhard, the weight room, the arts studios, the gallery, the library, the theatre. And today, we work on a financial aid and faculty capital campaign designed to honor and protect the people who make this School so powerful and unique: our students and faculty. I will travel anywhere at any time to explain why supporting students and faculty is the best gift St. Andreans can make. When a donor makes or a series of donors create an endowment gift of $1.2 million for financial aid, they know and I know that their gift means that a student will receive the opportunity of a St. Andrew’s education in

perpetuity. That endowment gift is not one that expires after the first recipient graduates. Student after student after student, life after life after life will be forever transformed. The reality for the St. Andrew’s of the future is that our endowment must grow steadily from its present value of nearly $200 million to a future value of $300 million. We will need more endowment first to protect our audacious financial aid program. We will need more endowment to reduce our dependency on tuition increases that threaten to dramatically reduce the number of families that can afford a St. Andrew’s education. We will need more endowment to support the work, salaries, benefits, and development of our teaching faculty. We will need more endowment to be creative and innovative in our institutional fight for goodness in the country and the world. When you are older and independent, I hope you might remember this talk and each to emulate the philanthropy that created this School, both by giving what you can and working with all heart and soul for St. Andrew’s. By the time you graduate from St. Andrew’s, whether you are a senior or a freshmen, we will be on our way to strengthening a philanthropic momentum here that will assure future students and faculty of the same opportunity we enjoy today. I really want, with all my heart, to raise up to $50 million dollars for financial aid over the next few years. Some people might think that is impossible, but then I think of the miracle that occurred in 1929 with the creation and endowment of this School. As Hick Rowland, former President of our Board said to me years ago, “At St. Andrew’s, anything is possible.” And he is right—look what happened in the depth of the depression: the founding of St. Andrew’s. In 2011, at the very beginning of the financial crisis, St. Andrew’s endowment’s antifragility was tested. The endowment both provides the vital funding for our yearly budget and helps to establish the School’s capacity to maintain and intensify the School’s mission and momentum, no matter the challenges or circumstances we encounter. Our endowment, like everyone else’s, took on dramatic losses. Questions began to arise. What would happen to financial aid, to the stability of faculty and staff, to the families that suddenly needed financial assistance for a St. Andrew’s education? Thanks to the leadership of the Board of Trustees and particularly Kent Sweezey and Scott Sipprelle and thanks to the way the endowment had grown through investment and through gifts, I was able to announce in the midst of the crisis that we would maintain financial aid for all families, provide new financial aid for all those affected by the crisis, and continue to support the work of our faculty and staff. Our experience through that crisis made us stronger: we confirmed our most sacred human priorities, we studied the ways we used financial resources, we worked even harder in the School’s fundraising program, we worked to re-invest in the endowment. And we did all of this knowing that at St. Andrew’s at least, an endowment is the source of liberating human potential and a commitment to goodness. We cannot ever lose the generosity, freedom, and inspiration our endowment provides.

Think tonight of all who give or who have given so much for us to have stewardship and responsibility for this St. Andrew’s we love so much. Explore the opportunities they have provided. We have the responsibility now of living and fighting for the spirit of the community by the way we learn, live, and ignite individual and collective excellence. We had a great fall together, and we have the energy and momentum to intensify our teaching and learning, dedicate ourselves to learning from one another, striving for excellence in the arts and athletics, and witnessing the art of friendship and kindness. Be intentional and focused on doing your part to make sure the School of today is the best version of St. Andrew’s since our founding.

M AY 2 6 , 2 0 1 9 COMMENCEMENT CEREMONY

Introduction of William S. Speers

s a member of the faculty and leader of students and teachers for forty years, Will Speers ignited and developed St. Andrewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s School as one of the great secondary schools in the world. His teaching expresses a reverence and understanding of the art of literature. Under his passionate and discerning spirit, texts (poems, short stories, play, novels) came alive in all their vivid detail, urgency, and illumination. The Speers teaching genius emerged from his earnest and unceasing commitment to understand, appreciate, and translate the courage, vision, tragedy, and comedy of the writers he taught. In this capacity, the greatest novelists, play writers, poets, and short story writers found the reader they most valued and celebrated: a person with an ever open and expanding heart and vision, a scholar who was humble, patient, discerning, and kind, a teacher who could make texts come alive for a new generation of readers. Will had teachers in his life who set his heart and mind on fire. Great teaching, his beloved prep school teacher exclaimed, is â&#x20AC;&#x153;like trembling,â&#x20AC;? and Will Speers set off to create that culture, that energy, that passion in every class he taught. By the power of his soul, spirit, and imagination, Will Speers decided that his teaching would be about creating passion, discovery, enlightenment, both because he wanted to honor great writers and great teachers who inspired him but also because he loved his students even more than the texts that fascinated him. Great teachers know that students possess wisdom, grace, and beauty in their hearts and souls, and they know that only through love, attention, enthusiasm, patience, and humility will the student open his soul to learning, to enlightenment, to engagement in the world. Will Speers is that teacher.

And so to honor his parents, his teachers and professors, his School, his colleagues, his beloved students, Will Speers made great teaching the passion of his life, and yes, he transformed, inspired, and cultivated greatness in St. Andreans and St. Andrew’s. If teaching was the essence of Will Speers soul, his generosity and versatility made him an inspiring school leader. He held every office and leadership responsibility in the School: teacher, coach, dorm parent, English Department Chair, Dean of Studies, Dean of Admissions, Dean of Students, Dean of Faculty, Associate Head of School, Acting Head of School. He organized Parents Weekend, Trustee Weekend, Awards Night, and Commencement. He lived for the impact, development, and flourishing of this great school, and he refused to allow himself to ever retreat from his day and evening commitment to the essence of the community. As a Head of School, I deeply appreciated and celebrated the grace, mastery, and intelligence Will brought to St. Andrew’s. We cultivated a friendship that lifted our souls and essentially supported us through the joy, learning, challenges, and tragedies of life and death. As my friend, colleague, and key associate during my career as Head of School, Will was phenomenal. When I was alone, he was with me; when I was confused, disturbed, or anxious, he was clear, calm, and encouraging. When I felt betrayed, lacerated, and undermined, he gave me liberating trust and faith. When I did not know what to do or where to turn, he convinced me that I did know what to do. When I was frightened, he gave me courage. When I was wrong, he told me what was right. As I introduce Will today, I am proud to share the variety of ways St. Andreans have honored him. He holds the Will Speers Associate Head Chair, the first endowed faculty Chair in the history of the School. All future Associate Heads of School will hold the Will Speers Associate Head Chair and work in his spirit of grace and goodness. Alumni and parents and past parents and Trustees have created the Will Speers’ Endowed Financial Aid Fund, now stretching towards a fund totaling $1.5 million. And finally, Classroom 17 will be known forever as the Will Speers Classroom.

JUNE 2016 S T. G E O R G E ’ S S C H O O L

Heroism & Silence

ood evening. It is an honor to be with all of you tonight and to try to do justice to the magnificent work Eric and Krista Peterson have accomplished here. I speak tonight from a couple of perspectives representing, first and most importantly, the family created by Lane and Diane Montesano in Buffalo, New York, with Cally, Elizabeth, Krista, Annie, Jennifer and now composed of Eric, Dan, Charlie, and me, along with 16 grandchildren. We have, as you see tonight, Numbers: loyalty, courage, experience, passion, love, and even a good bit of irreverence taught to us most powerfully by Cally. Life has tested us as a family, challenged us, introduced us time and again to adversity, trial, tragedy, and through it all and because of it all, we are here, tonight, together as we often were on an August evening in Canada: we are strong, resilient, and here to celebrate how Eric and Krista created their own particular definition of family over the past 13 years at St. George’s. In essence, their work together, Eric’s work in the Head of School office, Krista’s work in admissions, their devotion to the people of this school made St. George’s a family—more united, more purposeful, more academic, more ambitious, more kind, more thoughtful, more successful than in any era in school history. The Peterson model of family expressed an appreciation of and a zest for life, for adventure, for competition, for laughter, for people, for community. This ethic drew great students and teachers to this school, mentored future Heads of School, and together, conversation by conversation, interview after interview, trip after trip, decision after decision, opening day and graduation after another, the school flourished, sure of its guiding leadership, sure of their love, devotion, support, and affirmation. What happened here over the past 13 years was the most significant, profound leadership accomplishment in the world of American boarding schools. Under the Petersons’ leadership, a good school became great, became more coherent, intentional, and creative with every passing year.

But we know all families face adversity, complexity, and challenge, and although we hope and trust and pray to be excused from trial and tribulation that test our character, our fortitude, our integrity, our strength, we all face these defining moments. In families, we invariably look to parents and grandparents for calm, judicious, clarifying, mature, and intelligent advice. A school family looks to the Head, the Head’s partner or spouse in such situations. Now we had learned through Montesano adversity and tragedy, that great families never retreat; they never shut down; they never close themselves off from one another in times of confusion and disarray; rather, we come together more closely like the night when literally the entire living room of the house at Rose Hill mourned the loss of a father and grandfather by coming together, all in one place. We come together and re-double our efforts to protect, sustain, and strengthen the essential goodness of mind and heart. We protect children, honor children by taking on the challenge, embracing the chaos and confusion of the moment, all the while maintaining our dignity, composure, and calm. Eric and Krista lived in the eye of a hurricane in the most courageous, graceful, and resilient two years I have witnessed in education. They led so well, endured so well, committed so well—because you at St. George’s were family—you were worth it; you were the ones for whom they sacrificed and toiled and exhausted every fiber of their being. You—St. George’s—were rescued, loved and honored and protected and stewarded, even when no one else would publicly stand beside them, defend them, affirm them, protect them. The silence, I heard it from Delaware, was deafening. Eric and Krista marched on alone, day after day, week after week, month after month. It is what leaders often have to do. I also speak tonight as a fellow Head of School. For 20 years now, I have done this work, studied this work, written about this work. I think I have learned what to look for in a 21st Century Head: I know what questions to ask, what evidence to look for, what separates the vast majority of us who “grunt and sweat” through our days and the few who lead and ignite their schools. It sounds simple, really, but the essence of the Headship is not found in preppy gatherings composed mostly of white men and a few women who vacate their schools, pat each other on the back, complain about kids, trustees, and culture, and roll the same leadership plan out year after year. Rather, the essence of the Headship involves what David Foster Wallace described as “attention and awareness and discipline and effort and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little and unsexy ways, every day.” The art of leading a school, you see, demands a passionate and relentless commitment to finding the heart and soul of a school. If you commit to that pursuit, that journey, that endeavor, the Headship becomes not about you, but about the people of the school; not about your title and salary and power, but about your responsibility for others; not about your reputation, acclaim, and professional advancement, but the integrity of the institution; not about your comfort or security or low blood pressure, but the protection of your students. 87

The rare, great Head never leaves this obsession with and commitment to goodness and people. And the transformational Heads maintain their focus no matter what is going on around them. In fact, the transformational Heads are actually leaders who are comfortable, willing, and eager to be more courageous, moral, and ethical than the schools and Boards for whom they work. They understand the inertia and paralysis of the status quo. They open up doors of opportunity once closed to women, students of color, and every segment of our national and global culture that feels invisible or neglected. The great Heads do not wait for reform and enlightenment and illumination. They create the vision, they enact the change, they bear the consequences. They believe so fervently in their work and the implication of mission statements that they are willing to expose historical prejudice, discrimination, and privilege, launch courageous investigations about the past, embrace responsibility, and seek to rectify poor decisions made decades before they set foot on campus, withstand personal attacks, innuendo, distortion, and threats, and still be the same dynamic man or woman, serving the students each and every day. You see, if I were advising a 21st Century Search Firm, I would simply ask if any Head candidate has the brilliance, experience, courage, insight, perseverance, and moral and ethical strength of Eric Peterson. I would ask if any Head’s partner or spouse had the personality, positivity, energy, love of community and knowledge and appreciation of adolescents that Krista Peterson has. This Peterson standard of excellence I have drawn is not the product of a flashy interview, glistening resume, or quality references. It is a standard set in real time over 13 years, time and stress tested! And yes—the Peterson standard is a very high bar, but why wouldn’t we set the bar that high if we are indeed experiencing a crisis in leadership in America today? Why wouldn’t we set the bar at the Peterson height if we wanted to honor generosity rather than narcissism, a commitment to the truth rather than distortion, an ethic of courage rather than cowardice, an Episcopal commitment to generosity, empathy, and sacrifice rather than prep school elitism and privilege? Eric and Krista Peterson discovered the soul of St. George’s. They discovered the heart of the school in their offices, their home, the games, recitals, performances of their students. They discovered the soul of the school as they toured the globe for St. George’s greeting alumni, parents, and past parents. And they fought for the soul of the school right up to this very night. They never turned away, they never lost their focus, they never thought of themselves or their careers, or their physical or mental health for that matter, so comprehending was this commitment. We celebrate this great expression of family, love, and leadership—quite literally, every Head of School with any perspective, experience, and wisdom knows that only Eric and Krista could have made this journey a heroic one. Thanks to them, St. George’s has never been stronger, more ready to fulfill its noble mission. And that was precisely the point and the ultimate gift of the Petersons to this

community. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s give them some rest, some recreation, some time with family, some time to wonder just where this magnificent expression of grace came from. Thank you.

Memorial Remarks

JUNE 8, 2018 E A ST H A MPTON PR E SBY TER I A N CHURCH

William M. “Willie” Maerov ’15 I speak this morning for St. Andrew’s, Willie’s second home, as we—his teachers and friends—join all of you in this congregation in our struggle to comprehend the enormity of Lance and Charlotte’s loss last weekend. In our grief, we are quite humbly and quietly, here—grateful for the family’s embrace and kind invitation to join them in prayer, reflection, gratitude at such a sad time; eager to do something, say something to help you feel our collective love and strength today and always. We need this time together—in person, in community, in congregation, in family—to understand the breath, scope, and resonance of Willie’s life. We need to explain to his father and his sister the extraordinary impact Willie had on our lives. We need to express how proud we were of him; his life, his vitality, his courage, his values, his grace. We need to understand the pain and devastation this tragedy has made us feel, and as we consider the love Willie and his grandparents inspired in our hearts, we need to find light, hope, and meaning in both our confusion and in our ever-expanding understanding of family. Amidst our impatient and restless questions about the place of random and cruel tragedy in our lives, we remember what we know today with certainty: the healing and revelatory power of love. Although we humans can’t control, comprehend, or understand the trajectory of our lives, we do have the infinite capacity to make love and the creation of a wide and all-encompassing family, our foundation, and guiding spirit. We have the freedom to feel, express, appreciate, and share a love that ultimately transcends the power of death and dissolution. In light of Willie’s life, consider these two passages from Episcopal Church Presiding Bishop Michael Curry: “There’s power in love to help and heal when nothing else can.” “When love is the way, we actually treat each other, well, like family.” These two passages capture Willie’s life and relationship with all of us. The very arrival of Willie at St. Andrew’s emerged, thanks to the friendship and love the Durkin and Krupinski family had for one another. As Charlie Durkin remembers it, Mary Durkin would always sit beside young Willie at dinner parties, marveling at his grace, maturity, intelligence, and kindness and at the same time understanding how receptive,

open, grateful, and pleased he was to be in the presence of a person who expressed such affection, affirmation, and kindness to him. During a particularly complex time in Willie’s life, the Maerov family, the Krupinskis, and the Durkins sought to expand this community of love and concern for Charlie by selecting St. Andrew’s as his boarding school. Because Charlie Durkin was such a role model and exemplar for Willie, because Charlie himself modeled the kindness, intelligence, integrity, and vitality Willie admired, of course St. Andrew’s had to be his school. Our role in Willie’s life was not only to provide a high quality and dynamic education for a passionate, curious, and eager scholar; we sought to create a second or third family to strengthen the work the Maerovs, Krupinskis, and Durkins had already done. We sought to express by word, deed, and kindness the same faith, attention, appreciation, and encouragement Mary gave to Willie during those wonderful dinners. And as he felt the bridge between his own family, the Durkins, and St. Andrew’s, Willie understood that this very notion of expanding the circle of love and concern could be the defining paradigm of his life. He felt the warmth and spirit of great mentors and the friendship of a broad and diverse group of peers; he flourished, developed as a scholar, leader, actor, athlete, role model, and friend, all the while finding ways to express his gratitude and appreciation for everything that was happening around him. Precisely because of the complexity and turbulence of his own life, Willie had a profound understanding of the miracles surrounding him—he never forgot the kindness, faith, and loyalty the Durkins expressed; he never forgot the patient and affirming expectation, hope, and love we expressed for him; and he made this natural expansion of love, empathy, and concern his abiding spirit in his life. I began to put this paradigm together a couple of days ago as I read a beautiful letter of recommendation written for Willie in 2010 by Professor Brooke Kroeger, Director of the New York University Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. In her letter, she described first her friendship with Ben and Bonnie Krupinski and then shared her relationship with Willie which began when he was four years old and expressed profound and remarkably obsessive admiration for all Volkswagen Beetles but in particular her Volkswagen Beetle convertible. Willie at the time had developed a commitment to learning everything he could about the Beetle. Professor Kroeger wrote: “He knew the function of every button and switch. He could describe every piece of equipment under the hood. He knew every offered exterior and interior color combination and all the possible options and accessories.” Once or twice every summer, for a number of years, the Professor would respond to his reminders and entreaties to take Willie for a ride in the car. I think we can all imagine Willie sitting in that convertible, taking it all in. But what prompted her letter years later to St. Andrew’s was her appreciation for the depth and consistency and longevity of Willie’s gratitude. Whenever she saw Willie in later years, she felt the warmth, appreciation, and kindness of his spirit. She wrote:

“Willie’s prodigious ability to embrace and explore a passionate interest and his enduring appreciation of the small role I was able to play in furthering that interest, in a relationship he sought out and created as a very little boy—still stands out for me as remarkable.” I felt this profound spirit of appreciation and gratitude when I met Willie in New York City this past April. He was happy, fulfilled, and engaged in his work at Georgetown, thrilled to be with fellow St. Andreans, and most of all eager to quietly thank me for the time we had shared together at St. Andrew’s. It struck me that night and again over the last week that no student with whom I have worked had the ability to express kindness, regard, and gratitude more powerfully and genuinely than Willie. And the expression came not only through words, but in the light in his eyes and the generosity of his presence, clearly the same gaze he shared with Mary Durkin years and years ago. There was something so happy, so content, so fulfilled in his soul that evening, and even as he expressed delight in his present and future, he wanted to remember and thank St. Andrew’s for the role we played in helping him to this stage of his life. He was telling me that night that love had healed him; he was telling me that the love of his family, the love of his grandparents, the love of the Durkins, and the love of all of you gave him hope, strength, and courage. He was telling me that it was his turn to widen the circle and definition of family. But of course, he had perfected the art of creating family wherever he was in his life. His St. Andrew’s roommate and close friend Grayson Ahl described the texts from Willie checking in on him whenever they had not been in touch: Grayson wrote: “I have yet to meet anyone as caring and compassionate as Willie.” In his beautiful life, Willie succeeded in this magical and eternal expression of grace and fellowship. He understood that the very goodness and promise of life emerge when we widen our circle of care, when we take time to express gratitude, when we live in honor of the people and institutions that bring out the best in us. When love is the way, we actually treat each other, well, like family.

S U N D AY, A P R I L , 2 2 , 2 0 1 8

Jonathan B. Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien

n the years 1964 and 1965, the great American writer John McPhee wrote a tribute to Frank Boyden titled The Headmaster. It is a book Heads of School read every summer, for in many ways McPhee not only captures a man, a time, an era, and style of school leadership; he reminds us all of what we in education should be doing and thinking about every single day. If one were to write the same kind of book to celebrate the best Headmaster in the late 20th century era in American boarding schools, the subject of the profile would be Jon Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien. I would like to write that book, but a prologue will have to suffice today. In my grief and sadness over the loss of my father figure, mentor, and exemplar, I have thought for the last month about all the qualities that made Jon such an inspiring, dynamic, and charismatic leader. I have tried to understand the source of the love, loyalty, and trust I and so many of you in this church felt for this man, literally from the first time I met him in May 1979 to our last conversation in December 2017. From the beginning, he was compelling: young, vigorous, enthusiastic, passionate, brilliant, and visionary. I had never met a leader, or for that matter a Headmaster like him, and therefore I watched him carefully everyday, listening intently to what he had to say, and how he said it. I studied his work ethic, steady, consistent, powerful, reliable, and capable of astonishing leaps of energy, creativity, and courage when the day to day work of school grew more urgent, more complex, more difficult. I watched and realized he had the brilliance of a lawyer, architect, land planner, environmentalist, teacher, parent, coach, and principal all at the same time, and I was astonished at the range these skills provided in his daily work as Headmaster. I watched him carefully in crisis situations, moments that test the courage, vision, and strength of a Head: some tests were public, decisions on suspensions and expulsions for students; decisions on faculty retention, promotion, and development. Other struggles were more private, the ones that test the soul: the loneliness associated with changing the course of the history of a school; the inevitable displays of adult envy, jealousy, narcissism, bitterness, and anger a visionary leader necessarily confronts. Change and the cultivation of excellence are not easy, he knew.

Even as I worked more and more passionately each of my 15 years as his Assistant Head to strengthen and support him in such moments, I was overwhelmed by the indomitable spirit of this man. The source of that courage and energy came most of all through his love of family and partnership with Joan, whose spirit, courage, work ethic, and warmth and love of people eventually melted the rough edges of the St. Andrew’s community, whose companionship and love made it possible for Jon to be the articulate, confident, and courageous leader of the School. For what Jon and Joan O’Brien proposed to do here was truly audacious—this was not designed as a mere stop in Delaware to prepare for another headship; this was to be a bold, a revolutionary project: to take everything he and Joan had learned in their lives to move a small school in Delaware into national and international prominence. For St. Andrew’s sake, Jon was determined to redefine and expand the very notion, scope, and transformational impact of the Head position. He set a new standard for excellence by committing heart and soul to the project named St. Andrew’s. When he called us, we all came, at first it seems in retrospect, against our better judgement: Delaware, Middletown? I first learned of the school as I scanned the faculty profile at the desk of my college’s career center. Then, I read the Jon O’Brien introduction, looked at his photograph, and immediately sensed his energy, intention, creativity, exploration and expectation of teaching excellence. It was his credo from the beginning: something miraculous was about to happen: a school transformation, a culture shift, a turn towards enlightened and progressive education; the cultivation of hospitality, enthusiasm, trust, and love. Do you, he asked us all, want to be part of something inspirational and illuminating? When I prattled on about going to law school, he made it clear that if I did, I would miss the drama about to unfold in the cornfields. I stared at him, realized he was deadly serious, and knew far more than I did. I never looked back. It did not matter if you were young or old: the hierarchies that paralyzed prep schools no longer applied. If you worked harder that you had ever worked in your life, if you understood that you had to be brilliant and engaged not only in the classroom but in every aspect of boarding school life, if you realized that St. Andrew’s financial aid program gave teachers the opportunity to work creatively with the most exciting, diverse, and talented group of students in the nation, if you could be inspired and stay up with the energy and goodness and grace of the O’Briens, you could lead, grow, flourish here. And in turn and in appreciation, Jon and Joan would supply the fortitude, courage, and love. That meant that they took on the early adult anger, negativity, and bitterness directed against them as they changed the School; that meant they confronted student entitlement when senior privileges, hierarchy, and authority became instead senior responsibility, stewardship, and humility. As individuals and as a couple, they took it, endured it, confronted it. They knew that when the right people got into the right places at the right time, the tide would somehow turn. Oh yes, people came after them, tested them, tried to intimidate and break them, and they never succeeded. At first Jon and Joan 97

took it on themselves, and then we as a group, team, and family won the day. We found unity, common purpose, and a spirit of possibility and potential. St. Andrew’s arrived, emerged, and prospered just as Jon predicted in the early days of his tenure. Now, Jon O’Brien could speak with passion, and he ranged from eloquent prose and poetry to epic expressions of his values and expectations. Both rhetorical styles emphasized the extent, the depth, the reality of his commitment to the School and its mission. The voice came from his heart and soul, and we understood its authenticity and responded in turn. He had an infectious laugh, a love of all people, and an impatience for prep school arrogance, entitlement, and narcissism. He had no patience for bullies (he confronted them immediately and effectively) or for teachers who were cold, sarcastic, condescending, mean, or self serving. He had all the patience in the world for students and teachers who demonstrated that they understood, even imperfectly, the responsibility they bore for the St. Andrew’s movement. He did not demand perfection; instead he honored the human mind and soul in process towards grace. Jon was a teacher of both students and adults. Yes, he represented to his students an ethic of concern, love, and expectation that helped them grow in maturity and grace. Yes, he gave each adolescent as many chances and opportunities he could create (sometimes faculty could not understand his patience!) for he believed in our kids and their potential. But he was dynamic and inspirational with adults as well. He always found time for me in his office, and each time we met I learned so much about life, about teaching, about leadership, about courage. He knew when to challenge his faculty and leadership group; he knew when we needed new opportunities and responsibilities; he knew how to cultivate school leaders. He did the little miraculous things that made all the difference: taking us out for dinner and expressing his thanks for our work, writing us handwritten notes to congratulate us for a game, theatrical production, or Chapel talk, showing up to virtually every game in every sport, racing to our side when anything happened in our lives that was distressing or upsetting, turning his office lights on before anyone else and turning them off long after everyone was asleep—a sign always that he was protecting and honoring and developing his school. It was quite an experience: having an apprenticeship with the best Headmaster of his time and then for the next 21 years, walking the path of leadership Jon created for me— working in the same office, living in the same house, articulating sacred school principles, celebrating the accomplishments of our incredible extended community. Elizabeth and I know now both how exhilarating and exhausting this work can be; we realize the physical, emotional, and psychological toll of such leadership. It is all consuming. It is complex; it is joyful; it is emotional; it is real. But every day, as we build and celebrate St. Andrew’s, we realize that our work and vision simply would not have been possible or relevant or powerful or meaningful without the courage, wisdom, vitality, dignity, and sacrifice of the O’Briens. We stand together

now for over 40 years of leadership, founded by the man we love and honor today: Jon O’Brien. And therefore we are grateful beyond words for his life, his gift to education, community, citizenship. The seeds of the O’Brien revolution in education reside in the very center of St. Andrew’s and in all of you who were taught, inspired, and fortified by his example. And his spirit, wisdom, and example radiate throughout the world of secondary education in the 21st century. His influence and legacy are exceptional. In the cornfields of Delaware, far from the center of boarding school prominence, prestige, and acclaim, a school emerged, strong, coherent, authentic, and good—Jon’s very best painting of all. “He was a man. Take him for all in all. I shall not look on his like again.”

DECEMBER 2, 2017

H. Hickman Rowland ’58

t a fall trustee meeting in October, Hick Rowland stood, without notes, at this pulpit, to reflect on his friendship with Henry Herndon, his neighbor in New Castle and predecessor as St. Andrew’s Board President. Hick did not need any notes that day because he was speaking from the heart and because he was a brilliant storyteller. The art of storytelling, especially in the hands of someone like Hick Rowland, brings us together, connects us in powerful and unexpected ways, evokes laughter, joy, comedy, happiness, empathy, humility, and yes, sadness and tragedy. With Hick, the art of the tale reminded us of how much time he made for each of us, how delighted he was to be with us, how much he enjoyed respecting, honoring, and celebrating everyone whom he encountered, how much he understood the power of friendship and the magic of uncontrolled laughter. Now a Hick Rowland story had the following characteristics: ȅȅ

ȅȅ

A minor character: (struggling, waiting, journeying, suffering, enduring, questioning) Hick himself fighting against circumstances, designed quite specifically to defeat or overwhelm him. A major character of one of two kinds: either one like Henry Herndon with abundant wisdom, grace, confidence, and brilliance who comes instinctively and inevitably to Hick’s rescue at the opportune time.

Or in the most tragic comic narratives he told, the main character takes full advantage of Hick’s weakness to triumph over him. Here is how Louise Marks, Class of 2014, summarized her dinner conversation with Hick five years ago. He told her the root beer story. Note how she perfectly captures Hick’s voice, narrative skill. Somehow that night, he connected two very different generations—she writes: “St. Andreans are tough, as Hick Rowland ’58 reminded me Friday night. He so fondly spoke of the time he (all 68 pounds of him) walked back from

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town through the knee-high corn stalks carrying an illegal six pack...of root beer. He remembers that trek as the most physically exhausting thing he ever had to do… And of course, when he got back there was a reward for his efforts! He drank his root beer in peace; oh wait, no, that’s not how it goes. At the end, his VI Form proctor confiscated the root beer and made him come to his room periodically to watch him guzzle it all down…” Now, the Henry Herndon story told last month contrasts the majesty, calm and control of his friend with the bewilderment, confusion, anxiety of Hick. Before I quote from Hick’s remarkable story, let me set the scene—Hick has just become Board President; the year is 1997. Our great Head of School Jon O’Brien has greeted Hick’s appointment with a sudden decision to retire. Fortunately, Hick has learned to meet Henry Herndon (walking his dog) on the green whenever he needs advice or counsel. Here is Hick’s classic narration of this time he said he was particularly desperate for advice: “So, what did I do? I ran to my living room windows—yeah, I probably stood there an hour, but I wasn’t going to miss him. I’ll tell you that. And sure enough, here comes Henry. And sure enough, I unload upon him this devastating problem. And God bless him, he took it right under his wing.” What strikes us about this story, of course, is the comic way Hick presented himself. This narrative strategy works so well for comic and human effect because in reality, Hick Rowland was (also) the man on the green, the person to whom we all looked for mentorship, wisdom, judgement, integrity, And Stories. Hick Rowland rose from being a second former watching a senior drinking his root beer to the President of the Board at St. Andrew’s School. His selection and election as Board President reflected both his extraordinary service to the School: class agent, the first Alumni Term Trustee, Trustee, Chair of the Campaign for the 21st century, and his magnificent leadership in and service to the State of Delaware. He was a student under Walden Pell and Bill Cameron, a trustee as Jon O’Brien brought new warmth, community, and ambition to the School. He revered the past, but firmly believed St. Andrew’s best days lay ahead of us. He was willing to do anything to honor the place that gave him the opportunity to do literally anything in his life. Most importantly, he was our leader because his heart and soul reflected the promise, the sacred principles of St. Andrew’s School. He was passionate about honoring the Founders and learning from our Chair Kitten Gahagan. He fought for financial aid, and especially middle-class access to the school; he supported our vital cultural efforts to turn seniors into role models, emphasizing kindness, empathy, and generosity instead of mindless and arrogant hierarchy. He always made time for the staff, time for the faculty, time for the Head of School. He kept us centered—the same instincts that brought him to the water in Delaware from Wall Street (he said once to the writer David Coller that he came home because he was “questioning the absurdity of life on the fast track”) inspired his work with Jon O’Brien, the Board, and me.

“Anything is possible at St. Andrew’s,” he told me often, challenging us to be the best boarding school we could possibly be, not by focusing on the superficial but rather the essence of life at school—the connection between great kids and great teachers. When we fought to make St. Andrew’s a more diverse school, Hick stood beside me through a number of stormy challenges. When the Finance Committee developed new investment strategies designed to further the School’s mission, Hick honored his fellow trustees and committee members in the face of ardent skepticism. He envisioned and fought for the creation of St. Anne’s School before anyone agreed or saw that the idea was a generous and important expression of St. Andrew’s commitment to a public good. He connected seamlessly and honored the distinctive gifts of the great leaders who followed him, Kent Sweezey and Scott Sipprelle. When he, as trustee Emeritus, walked into the boardroom after a night of work on the River, the culture of our meeting changed in wondrous ways. I learned last week from teachers that everyone hoped to be sitting at a table with Hick Rowland when faculty and trustees had dinner together. His work establishing the Seamen Center was the very expression of his human and spiritual commitment to hospitality and human rights, values he learned at St. Andrew’s. On a personal level, he was the person who invited me and Elizabeth to succeed Jon and Joan O’Brien (I will never forget his phone call inviting us to lead), and he patiently guided us and supported us as we developed our vision for the School. He never forgot that he was my trusted mentor, through thick and thin. I always looked forward to being with him, at the University and Whist Club, or in my office. I never wanted to let him down. Hick Rowland was a great man, a gifted leader, an exemplary trustee. He never sought the spotlight; rather, he let (and made) the light shine on his beloved school. That’s why our hearts were broken at his passing last month. We needed more stories, more reminders of the essence of our School’s promise and foundation, more conversations that made all of the difference for a new trustee, a staff member, a family member, a student, a Head of School. And so, as we grieved, we started telling stories, Hick Rowland stories, and soon our hearts glowed at the presence and spirit of this extraordinary man.

A B O U T T H E AU T H O R Head of School Tad Roach graduated from Williams College in 1979 and joined the faculty at St. Andrew’s as an English teacher, dorm parent and coach of soccer, basketball and tennis. Tad has coached state championship teams in both boys soccer and boys tennis. At St. Andrew’s, Tad served as Dean of Students, Assistant Head for Student Life, and Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs. In July 1997, Tad began work as the School’s fourth Head of School. During his 23-year tenure, Tad has focused on cultivating the School’s distinctive ethos and culture that inspire members of the community to seek and embrace a public good. He has sought to develop and refine a teaching and learning philosophy that honors exemplary student work, exhibitions, and engagement. Because of the skill, intelligence, and creativity of the faculty and student body, the School sets academic standards not through the AP program but through establishing habits of mind and heart that lead to extraordinary expressions of student understanding and mastery. Tad has sought to develop the School’s campus to provide an extraordinary setting for education of the mind and spirit; such work has included the O’Brien Arts Center, the Durkin-Fleischer Squash Pavilion, the Sipprelle Field House, the solar array, the organic garden, the renovated Amos Hall, the Facilities Building, the retention pond, and the nearby tennis courts. In conjunction with his work at St. Andrew’s, Tad helped lead the formation of St. Anne’s Episcopal School in Middletown and teamed with former Governor Jack Markell to create the Delaware College Scholars (DCS) Program in the State. The DCS program supports the educational aspirations of promising low income students throughout the state. In addition to St. Andrew’s affiliation with St. Anne’s and DCS, the School participates actively in community service programs throughout the area, including a close relationship with Delaware Special Olympics. Tad continues to teach in the English Department, focusing on the junior year class that enables him to work with students on transformational texts like Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, Eliot’s Middlemarch and a wide variety of short fiction and poetry. He speaks and writes extensively about school culture, educational reform, leadership, and diversity. He is the author of a chapter on Episcopal School leadership in Reasons for Being and co-authored a chapter on authentic learning at the secondary level in Transforming Undergraduate Education. He is a founding member of Theory to Practice, an undergraduate college initiative studying engaged learning, wellness and alcohol/drug use. He serves on the Board of Trustees of the S. Engelhard Center, a foundation exploring educational innovation at the college level. He is passionate about teaching, community, the work of Bryan Stevenson and the Equal Justice Initiative, civic engagement, diversity, and Buffalo sports teams. Tad and his wife, Elizabeth, have four children—Matthew ’04, Hadley ’07, Zachary ’13 and Annie ’18.

Ethos & St. Andrew’s

DANIEL T. ROACH, JR.

Selected Essays, 2013–2019 Daniel T. Roach, Jr.

MERRILL M. STENBECK HEAD OF SCHOOL

Ethos & St. Andrew's: Selected Essays from 2013-2019

Articles inside

H. Hickman Rowland ’58

Jonathan B. O’Brien

William M. “Willie” Maerov ’15

Heroism & Silence

Introduction of William S. Speers

Fighting for Financial Aid

Head of School’s Statement on Tree of Life Synagogue Tragedy

A St. Andrew’s Response to Fragmentation and Chaos

The Odyssey

Head of School’s Statement on the Tragedy in Parkland

It Is Time for Human Grandeur

We Are Doing This for Generations Yet Unborn

The Goal of “Aliveness

What We Are All About As A School

What We Must Do for St. Andrew’s

Hatred Will Not Replace Us

Banishing the Forces of Darkness & Hate

Your Best Advice

Grace & Forgiveness

Head of School’s Statement on Events in Charlottesville

Election 2016

Building a Human Community