He’s Being Aggressive
How to overcome the stereotype and win at work
As a Black man in a professional setting, you may have been told, felt, or heard that you come across as “aggressive.”
Even though you are confident in what you think and tell your coworkers and bosses about it, they may see your answers and even your presence as threatening.
So you must consider two things: how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself.
What does it mean to be aggressive?
According to the definition, aggressive means that you are “ready or likely to attack.” It also means “to aggressively pursue one’s goals and interests, sometimes to an extreme degree.” It also means “any behavior or act intended to harm a person or animal or to cause physical damage.”
My guess is that you, like all of my clients, do not go to work with the intention of attacking someone.
You go to work like everyone else to move up in your career and do the tasks you are given.
If this is the case, then you are not being aggressive at work.
So, if you are not aggressive, what are you?
Assertive, confident, passionate, decisive, emphatic, self-assured, sure, etc.
What do these words mean?
Assertive:
“Willing to defend your interests and express your thoughts and emotions, being assertive demonstrates that you value yourself.” Additionally, it demonstrates your awareness of the rights of others and your willingness to work towards conflict resolution. It can also mean “acting with confidence and being able to say clearly what one wants or thinks.”
Confidence:
“Being confident in one’s abilities and having faith in others, plans, and the future.”
At work, you should be assertive and confident, both of which are positive characteristics.
Without these characteristics, you may never obtain the desired raises, promotions, and new positions.
Still, if people think you are aggressive, you may need to take the lead to change their minds. If you don’t, it could cost you raises, promotions, and new jobs.
Here are some phrases you can use to teach coworkers how to perceive and respond to you.
“Aggression involves inflicting harm on others. I never communicate in such a manner, and I ensure the success of my entire team. However, I appreciate assertive and confident communication because it allows me to express my ideas clearly and allows us to advance projects.”
“People have previously referred to me as aggressive, which is incorrect. To hurt or harm others is the definition of aggression, which I would never do. Although it is true that I am confident and assertive when I contribute my viewpoints, I respect everyone’s opinion and welcome a healthy dialogue.”
Homework
You may need to teach others how to think about and perceive you in order to maintain your assertiveness while avoiding being perceived as aggressive.
Even though it’s not fair that people might see you this way, you need to take action to advance your career, keep being successful, and move up the seniority and salary ladder.
If you want to learn how to get out of the “aggressive” box that could be costing you promotions, raises, and new jobs, schedule a consultation with us today.
Together, we will help you complete our Executive Blueprint to master the soft and hard skills required to excel in corporate leadership roles.
Best,
Jewel Edward Love, Jr.
Founder, Black Executive Men
