This show has been kinda popular with anime fans lately, so we here at Moe Sucks figured we’d give it a shot. How bad could it be? Crude humor and lots of pictures follow, and again, we’re not comedians so take the jokes with a grain of salt.

Episode 1

Quick synopsis: One of the girls get a confession of love and flips her shit about it.

The show predictably starts off with a generic opening with equally generic music and monologue voice-over. But one thing about it did surprise us!

Nyoro~n: bling cell phone
Nyoro~n: did anyone else see it

Anime openings for shows like this is almost a formality at this point. It’s like a chef serving up an amuse bouche, but in this case, a run-of-the-mill anime studio giving lonely nerds a taste of which 2-D chick they wanna obsess about over the course of the show.

The Fin: that is a whole lot of anime grrlz
E Minor: lotta moe
Nyoro~n: dayum
The Fin: bratz: the anime
Nyoro~n: spoilers: they all lesbos
Nyoro~n: and then they get tamed
Nyoro~n: by teh dick
The Fin: let’s see, the blonde one is rich, the darker skinned one is the yuri character, twintails and hairclip are dumbshits

Things go as usual for the next few minutes or so… except for an odd cameo.

The Fin: schneizel o0
Nyoro~n: oh wow
The Fin: what r u doing here
Nyoro~n: schneizel

At this point is where the anime took a turn for the dead horse beating contest. Turn away now if you can’t stand it.

Nyoro~n: take a shot
E Minor: what a demon
Nyoro~n: everytime they think he’s going to rape them
E Minor: also vaguely foreign looking

Doesn’t Zaitsu Misao’s portrayal kinda bother anybody? Afro-y hair, big lips, dark-skinned, oafish and prone to grunts while the rest of the show is full of light-skinned people with thin lips. Something bothers me… I’m not quite sure what….

Nah, I must be imagining things; their hair isn’t remotely the same! C’mon, there’s never been racism in anime before!

The Fin: action lines for no reason~

The Fin: “it spoke” man he’s right there

Nyoro~n: this isn’t funny, i was hoping a white man would confess to me
Nyoro~n: shit
Nyoro~n: isn’t that how it always goes
Nyoro~n: the dream main is always white

Nyoro~n: this is lol
E Minor: hairy
Nyoro~n: umm
E Minor: like an ape

I’m sorry, but if you’re still not convinced that there’s something off about Hatsukoi Limited, I dunno what to say. Let’s just grant the idea that the creators of Hatsukoi Limited never intended to make us think of black people. So what–it’s still bad. It’s still wrong to give off the idea that anyone who looks remotely different is evil or dumb or ugly. And you see it all the time in every country, (Japan, Korea, India, Philippines, etc. but not just Asian countries), where those with lighter skins are preferred despite them all being the same damn race.

The Fin: SPEAK NOT THE DARKY’S NAME
The Fin: YOU WILL SUMMON HIM

E Minor: hahaha
The Fin: little racist children crying in the streets
E Minor: interracial dating makes baby jesus cry
Nyoro~n: um dayum

E Minor: how can you talk to a monkey though?
E Minor: HOW?
Nyoro~n: bro
Nyoro~n: you spell it out with bananas
Nyoro~n: “i don’t want |_|”

The Fin: OH THANK GOD A PROPER GIRLYMAN NIPPONJIN HAS SAVED ME
Nyoro~n: lelouch!!!!!???

The Fin: I can’t think about myself
The Fin: I must reject the ape man
The Fin: for the good of the race

The Fin: I totally understand why she would cry tho
The Fin: I mean she had to talk to the non-white dude for like a second

Nyoro~n: “i’m so happy just to see her panties ^____^”
The Fin: man it looks like a lousy shallow shojou show
Nyoro~n: umm
The Fin: and then the climax of the whole episode is an extended panty shot
E Minor: didja realize this show just said it was ok for a hs guy, prob 18, to stalk and peep a middle schooler’s panties?

Episode 2

Quick synopsis: “GIRLYMAN NIPPONJIN” is in love with the girl next door, but (shock) it isn’t mutual because (shock) she doesn’t even know he likes her!

The first episode had all the racism, but where was the sexism? I sure hope episode 2 makes up for it.

E Minor: how do you walk like that
E Minor: constantly rubbing your thighs
The Fin: everyone knows that boys are all girls talk about
Nyoro~n: if you do a walkway walk
E Minor: that’s not right yo

E Minor: cause all girls are weak rite?

Nyoro~n: ummmmmmmmm
Nyoro~n: she’s strong so i can’t like her

The Fin: I BET SHE CANT COOk
The Fin: I BET ANYTHING
The Fin: YES
E Minor: a bento is like a marriage resume
Nyoro~n: oh shit
E Minor: this way a boy knows whether or not you’re waifu material
The Fin: strong girl who cant cook? heh she’ll be lucky to get a husband at all

The Fin: ever single background
The Fin: is like BLOOOOOOM
E Minor: next gen anime
E Minor: with HDR

The Fin: wtf
E Minor: lol
Nyoro~n: um
Nyoro~n: oh god
Nyoro~n: what is that one movie
Nyoro~n: mice and men
Nyoro~n: that reminds me of that huu huu

E Minor: fell in love with a 14 year old
The Fin: this is how relationships actually work
The Fin: you basically just see someone and flip you’re shit for them

The Fin: this story is way deep because whatshisface represents the other dude’s id
The Fin: he is the ego, his big bro is the superego

Every romantic comedy is required to have a perverted best friend character.

The Fin: this is like the worst show ever
Nyoro~n: ur nipples… prz
Nyoro~n: they are rubbin into mah back
The Fin: SHOOOOUUUUT EEEENGLIIISH WREEESSTLIIIING MOOOOOVE
E Minor: wacky, guys
E Minor: wacky

E Minor: even tho you told me not to stalk
E Minor: i’m gonna stalk
Nyoro~n: bro
Nyoro~n: if you stalked me
E Minor: because like lol she’s just a girl, she might be raped without me
Nyoro~n: i’d leave the front door open
Nyoro~n: heh

Final Thoughts

So that’s that–our pain threshold for this anime tops out at two shitty episodes. Oh, I’m sure they probably paint Misao in a better light in later episodes, but who the hell cares? Nothing can make up for the ridiculousness of the first episode (with so many people covering this show, I hope we’re not the first to make that observation), which is sad cause it ended up making episode two a yawner in comparison. You might think we’re being unfair, but we pretty much went into this series blind. I only knew that people blogged about it; I had no idea what show was about at all.

I hear a lot about how anime fans shy away from anime criticism just because they feel critics “don’t get to know the characters” or “don’t really get the anime.” If anime criticism entails a certain level of familiarity to the point where we’re way past the line of fandom, then what’s the point of criticism of anything to begin with? We might as well just separate into little groups, fawning over our favorite series since not a single damn negative word is allowed.

A lot of people also ask, “Why watch something you won’t enjoy?” Well, it’s true… this anime did suck. But making fun of it in a group is pretty fun. It’s like watching the latest Michael Bay flick (whose movies are also racist as hell) or, hell, Uwe Boll film. It’s just so bad, it’s hilariously bad. Like hilaribad even. And Hatsukoi Limited falls into that category.