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How to Control Anger Outbursts: Tips to Stay Calm

How to control anger outbursts

Life brings an array of emotions, and anger is a normal and common one. We all experience it. However, there are moments when anger can feel overpowering, leading to outbursts that we struggle to control. These moments of failing to manage anger outbursts can lead to stress, anxiety, and a disconnect from those around us.

To control anger outbursts and stay calm, we need to recognize the early signs of anger, take deep breaths, and step away from the situation temporarily. Implementing relaxation techniques, having a relaxation plan, focusing on problem-solving, and seeking support from others are key strategies for managing your anger effectively.

Imagine a space where anger doesn’t own your actions. Instead of outbursts, there’s communication, understanding, and resolution. It’s achievable. In this article, we will navigate through practical tips and strategies to help you manage your anger. Together, we’ll embark on a journey to a calmer, more balanced emotional state where you’re in command of your reactions.

What Causes Angry Outbursts?

Angry outbursts often stem from an immediate emotional reaction to a specific event or situation. It’s like a quick, intense wave of emotion that can feel overwhelming. These reactions might be triggered by frustration, stress, or feeling misunderstood. Anger in a relationships is also common and can be triggered by a variety of factors. It’s natural and happens to everyone at times.

Underneath these intense reactions, there are often underlying issues that fuel the fire of anger. It could be unresolved feelings, unmet needs, or past experiences that haven’t been fully processed. These underlying issues can make us more sensitive and responsive to situations around us, leading to a heightened state of emotion. For example, if you have a sudden outburst of anger because your partner forgot to rinse out a bowl of cereal… well… there is some underlying stuff going on. Right?

Understanding our triggers is a crucial step toward managing angry outbursts. When we know what makes us feel angry, we can work on addressing those specific areas, either by avoiding certain triggers or by developing coping strategies. The self-awareness that comes from this understanding can be a powerful tool in managing and controlling angry reactions.

Anger Management: How to Manage Anger Outbursts?

The first step to control anger outbursts is recognizing the early signs. Pay attention to the physical and emotional changes that occur as anger builds. You might feel your heart rate increase, your body temperature rise, or a wave of emotion. Acknowledging these signs is the first step to taking control of anger outbursts.

To control anger outbursts, you must practice ways to express anger in a healthy way

Recognizing the early signs of anger and employing calming techniques are important. Breathing exercises can be particularly effective; try taking slow, deep breaths, inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth. Visualizing a peaceful scene or repeating a calming phrase can also help restore a sense of balance and control. Understanding how anger affects your brain and body can also offer insights into managing it effectively.

Additionally, creating a pause before reacting can be huge. It provides an opportunity to step back, assess the situation, and choose a response rather than reacting impulsively. During this pause, consider the consequences of your potential reactions and select a course of action that promotes understanding and resolution, leading to healthier, more positive interactions.

Learn to Control Anger Outbursts With the Green, Yellow, and Red Lights of Anger

For each grouping of numbers, go ahead and think of a time when you were activated. Think of a few examples. Then write down the “cues” that let you know how activated you are. Do this for each grouping. My goal for you is to have at least one example of each of the four categories of anger cues for each activation level.

To begin your journey of anger management, start by taking a close look at the cues to anger examples above. Now, I want you to write down on a piece of paper 1-3, 4-6, 7-9, and 10. Got it? These numbers represent how activated you are. 10 means explosion and 1 means mellow.

This awareness is an important first step in learning how to control and cope with anger instead of impulsively lashing out in frustration. In the 4-6 section, see if you can choose 3 cues that you notice there. My hope is that you can recognize when these cues are present and use them as your sign to use your relaxation and coping skills to manage anger. If you would like to learn more about this, please do not hesitate to reach out!

How to Express Anger in A Healthy Way?

When you are getting angry, expressing it constructively becomes essential for maintaining healthy relationships and well-being. One practical approach is using “I” statements. For instance, saying “I feel upset when…” instead of “You always…” helps communicate your emotions without blaming or criticizing others, fostering an environment of understanding and respect.

We also need to choose the right time and place to express our feelings. Timing can significantly influence how our message is received. Aim for a moment when both you and the other person are calm and open to conversation. It allows for a more constructive and empathetic exchange, promoting resolution and mutual respect. Some other quick tips, schedule a time when you have the conversation. Also, if you need to walk away, communicate that, but also say when you will revisit the conversation.

Lastly, consider seeking out mental health professionals if needed. How therapy can help with anger is very important and relevant here. A therapist or counselor can provide personalized strategies and tools tailored to your specific challenges and triggers. It’s a safe space to explore and understand your anger, developing skills to express it in healthy, constructive ways, ultimately leading to a more balanced and peaceful life.

Final Thoughts

Anger is a natural emotion we all experience, and the solution is to control anger outbursts, which is key to maintaining harmony in our lives and relationships. Remember, it’s a journey of understanding your triggers, employing calming techniques, and expressing yourself constructively. Progress may be gradual, but every step towards anger management is a move towards a more balanced and peaceful existence.

On this journey, remember that you’re not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals to share your experiences and seek support. Every day offers a new opportunity to practice and refine your strategies to control anger outbursts, leading to more meaningful connections and a calmer, happier you.

Until next time,

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Derek Guerrette, LCPC, NCC

Derek is the founder of New Perspectives Counseling Services. He is currently licensed in the state of Maine as an LCPC. He enjoys working with people who are working through things like trauma, anxiety, and depression. Derek values humor and authenticity in his therapeutic relationships with clients. He also believes that there are all kinds of things going on in our lives that affect us, but we can't exactly control.

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New Perspectives Counseling Services LLC is based out of the Bangor, Maine area. It's owner, Derek Guerrette, LCPC, NCC, is a licensed therapist in the state of Maine. We hope this website's content is helpful to you in some way. If you have any content suggestions or live in Maine and would like to start therapy, we would love to hear from you!

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The writer of this post is a licensed therapist. That being said, this website and all its content are not a substitute for therapy. They are better served as a tool to use along with therapy. If you are in a crisis, either call your local crisis hotline, or 911.

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