Pay attention, Caitlyn Jenner: Waylon Smithers is the “brave face” of television — and, dare I say, society in general.
Not you.
And he can teach you a lot about winning America’s heart when he publicly comes out during the 27th season of “The Simpsons.”
No “Look at me!” prime-time interviews. No well-oiled publicity machine touting his “bravery.” No “spontaneous” photo ops (“Don’t take my picture! Take my picture!”) flaunting his latest style choices.
No reality show (how did that work for ya?).
You wanna talk about “brave”? About baring your soul, and your secrets, to the public — without cynical, exploitative, “all about me” media manipulation?
Let’s talk about Waylon Smithers, who will vacate his barely concealed closet later this season on “The Simpsons.” Quietly. Without much fanfare.
Smithers, in fact, would have probably preferred an understated approach. Over-the-top is not his style. (OK, so he occasionally rollerblades in short shorts. Whatever.) After all, it wasn’t Smithers who let slip this bombshell announcement. That was courtesy of “The Simpsons” executive producer Al Jean, who told TVLine that Smithers would fly his gay pride flag this season — over two episodes, yet.
Smithers wins my vote for television’s most emotionally vindicated soul. All those years (27 seasons!) of pretending to be someone he’s not, of (barely) hiding his true passions from the prying, judgmental eyes of Homer, Carl, Lenny and the guys at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.
You think that was easy — even for an animated character?
Sure, “Simpsons” fans (and, let’s face it, some of the show’s characters) have always suspected that the 30-something (we think), unctuous, fawning Malibu Stacy collector — adorned with his ever-present glasses and businesslike bow tie — harbored more than admiration for Mr. Burns. It’s been the show’s worst-kept secret since the legendary Fox toon premiered as a stand-alone series in 1989.
(“In Springfield now, most people know he’s gay, but obviously Burns doesn’t,” Jean told TVLine. “We deal with that in two episodes . . . We actually do a lot with Smithers this year; he gets fed up with Burns not appreciating him and considers his options.”)
Yes, Smithers’ words and deeds have spoken volumes about his unrequited love for Mr. Burns — the ancient, hawk-nosed, stooped mogul who’s been either openly dismissive of — or clueless to (your choice) — Smithers’ true feelings.
Yes, Smithers has been forced, until now, to remain closeted, to maintain his emotional charade — terrified that his secret would get out.
We know, of course, that he needn’t have worried. The good people of Springfield (wherever it’s geographically located) have proven to be very open-minded. After all, they’ve trusted an inept police chief to protect them all these years; ditto for the doughnut-loving, beer-swilling, narcolepetic Homer Simpson controlling their nuclear power plant.
I can’t speak for Waylon Smithers, but I’m guessing he’s relieved that he’ll be able to breathe a big sigh of relief later this season. And that he’ll be embraced by his Springfield brethren. (But by Mr. Burns? That remains to be seen.)
So stay classy, Waylon Smithers. You’ve earned it with your under-the-radar bravery — and without an E! reality show, paparazzi crowd, magazine cover, clothing line or hollow platitude in sight.
Rock on with your bad self.