Jamie-Lynn Sigler Says She’s 'Living a Very Full Life' Despite Relapsing Multiple Sclerosis (Exclusive)

On the morning of Jan. 20, 2016, Jamie-Lynn Sigler was a nervous wreck. She had just married her fiancé of almost three years, baseball player Cutter Dykstra, and was awaiting the new issue of PEOPLE, in which they had shared exclusive photos and details of their big day. 

But she was also revealing an even bigger secret. For almost 15 years the Sopranos alum had been quietly dealing with the debilitating symptoms of multiple sclerosis (MS), a degenerative autoimmune disease that damages the central nervous system. 

When the issue hit newsstands, Sigler was afraid to look at her phone but quickly discovered an overwhelming outpouring of positive support. 

“It was a big moment for me, because it was the beginning of this journey of self-reflection and self-acceptance,” she says. “I grew up with this idea that people are only going to be attracted to you when you’re perfect, and it’s quite the opposite. MS gave me my superpower, which is vulnerability, because the more raw and real and open I am — and this has forced me to be that — the more beautiful connections are.”

In the seven years since, Sigler, 42, has built an invaluable support system that allows her to lead a full life in Austin as an actress, wife and mom to the couple’s two sons, Beau, 10, and Jack, 5. 

While she has trouble walking for long periods of time and cannot run, “I can still accomplish the things that I want to do, whether it be at work or at home,” she says. 

Even while acting in projects like the recent ABC series Big Sky, “they were able to park my trailer closer,” she explains. “They were able to make accommodations, have discussions prior to me getting to work and really allowed for me then to just focus and do my job and feel like anybody else.” 

And with two young active boys, Sigler has adjusted to long days of after-school activities and sports as well. “It’s a lot of gear, it’s long walks. It’s hot in Texas,” she says. “We got a big wagon that I can push, that I can lean on and throw all of the stuff in. It’s figuring it out with my husband and my support system: How do we do this?”

She’s now determined to help others affected by MS with a three-step process she created with the pharmaceutical company Novartis, for which she is a spokesperson: acceptance of the disease, reframing reality and asking for help. 

“A lot of the times with a diagnosis it can be fear, depression, sadness, grief,” she says. “I really came to this place of understanding, processing those feelings, and stepped into this place of acceptance.” 

Once she realized MS was part of her life, she had to “make different choices than I used to. The way it affects my mobility, my gait, what I can do.” And though she worried about reaching out when in need, “it’s such a beautiful human exchange,” she adds. “People really like to be helpful. People really want to help.”

After struggling with a case of Lyme disease when she was 19 and starring on HBO’s hit series The Sopranos, Sigler first experienced feelings of heaviness and tingling in her legs in 2000 and was diagnosed with MS the following year. 

The actress managed to go symptom-free for quite some time and even starred for months in a rigorous production of Beauty and the Beast on Broadway in 2002. 

But after her marriage to first husband A.J. Discala ended in 2005, she started experiencing weakness in her right side and having incontinence issues. Though the exact cause of multiple sclerosis is unknown, the disease triggers the immune system to attack the central nervous system — resulting in damage to the protective layer surrounding the nerve fibers, called myelin, and disrupting signals to and from the brain. While there is no cure, Sigler now takes Kesimpta, a once monthly injection after three weekly starter doses.

“I’m very busy, and I can take it at home or on the go,” she says. “On Sunday mornings I’ll take it out of the fridge, make my kids breakfast, excuse myself to the bathroom, and in two minutes I’m back, and I’ve literally done my medication.”

A typical weekday for Sigler entails getting up to prepare her kids’ snacks and lunches before waking them at 6:30 a.m., making them breakfast and getting them out the door for Dykstra to drop them at school. 

“And then next thing you know, you look at your watch and the kids are on the bus and back home. And then it’s baseball or football or whatever it is. It’s a very full life,” she says. “I’m slowly getting into the parenting stage of being a chauffeur.”

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When she isn’t in mom mode, Sigler takes care of herself with stretching, Pilates, daily cold plunges and meditation. She and Dykstra also have weekly date nights after recording her podcast Not Today, Pal with actor Robert Iler, who played her character Meadow’s brother on The Sopranos. 

“I don’t know if there’s enough ways that I can describe my gratitude for him,” she says of her husband. “He’s made himself available to me in every way that I’ve needed support.” 

Falling in love with Dykstra, son of the baseball legend Lenny Dykstra, allowed Sigler to envision a meaningful life together despite her illness. Introduced through mutual friends, the actress told him about her MS a week into their whirlwind courtship, and he proposed in 2013. 

“I used to go through these moments where I would feel bad that he didn’t know Jamie pre-MS, but then I’m like, ‘Oh, but now that I think about it, Jamie with MS is probably way cooler, way more soulful and grounded,’ ” she says. “I don’t know if there would’ve been something else that would have led me to be the person that I am today, other than living with MS. I really don’t. And so while I want to be honest and not ignore the fact that it can be difficult, it’s also really shaped who I am, and it’s really shown me how strong I am.”

As for their sons, Beau “is very sensitive. He’s very conscious and caring. He’s concerned about me,” Sigler says. “We used to say, ‘Mommy’s slow.’ ‘Mommy can’t run.’ ‘Mommy can play goalie’ when we played hockey, or ‘Mommy can be pitcher,’ but that’s it. There were stages of conversation. I would say probably when he was about 5 or 6, we said, ‘Mommy lives with something called MS.’ ” 

At 5, Jack is “frustrated about it,” she admits. “He’s angry, he’s sad. He’ll make a lot of comments about how I’m different than other moms, and he doesn’t like it. And that’s okay; he’s allowed to feel that way. I really want him to be able to express himself.”

Though it’s hard for her to hear at times, Sigler feels it’s important “to have those conversations. I’m always trying to find the gift in this journey,” she adds. “I think I’m raising two little boys who are really aware of other people and their needs. And [showing them] that things can still be accomplished, albeit differently. My husband always tells me, ‘Your boys are seeing you fight this every day and live a really full life.’ And if I can give them anything, I guess it’s that.” 

Her sons also lend a much-appreciated boost to her own sense of self. 

“Them still seeing me as their mom reminds me that I’m so much more than my MS, and it doesn’t define me,” she adds. “We all deal with something. We all have things that we persevere through, and this is mine.”

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This article was written independently by PEOPLE’s editorial team and meets our editorial standards. Novartis is a paid advertising partner with PEOPLE.