“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter F. Drucker
September 26, 2010 § 4 Comments
The importance of being… nonverbally-smart.
Many people do not realise that almost every facet of our personality is revealed through our appearance, body language, gestures, facial expressions, demeanor, posture and movements.
Verbal impact of communication only accounts for 7% of your overall message. Bulk of communication comes across in our appearance and body language, comprising 55%. Tone, speed and inflection of our voice make up the remaining 38%.
Thus, nonverbal communication serves as the single most powerful form of communication. The best communicators are sensitive to the power of emotions and thoughts communicated nonverbally.
In my opinion, the importance of verbal versus non-verbal communication can be illustrated with regards to sitting for a job interview. Here, candidates can tend to be based hugely on their non-verbal communication where much can be revealed more than one’s spoken words. Employers actually rely on such communication cues to gain an insight into one’s attitude, outlook, interests, attitude and approach. Positive non-verbal cues are most crucial here. This includes:
1. Maintaing good eye contact with the interviewer for a few seconds at a time.
2. Smiling and nodding at appropriate times when the interviewer is talking.
3. Keeping your feet on the floor and your back against the lower back of the chair.
4. Leaning forward a little towards the interviewer so you appear interested and engaged.
One’s dressing also plays a vital part in how listeners receive you and how others respond to you. Imagine if someone walked into the room for a job interview wearing this:
You get the idea.
Dressing appropriately in formal attire allows the interviewer know that you take the interview process seriously. Of course, your verbal communication is important as well. It is your non-verbal cues that enable you to be singled out from the rest.
Not only is it important for us to be aware of our own body language, but it is equally important to understand what body language means so we can effectively assess and react to others. For example, we may pass negative judgment on someone because they slouch, fidget or pout. If we are aware of why we made the judgment, we can filter out our biases and understand what their body language means and what it is conveying about the individual.
I conducted abit of research and found some non-verbal cues which meanings differ across different cultures.
It is important that we pick up the different meanings from these otherwise casually-used gestures and become more aware of ourselves and the kind of messages it conveys to people of other cultures.
Facial expressions:
– Although smiling is an expression of happiness in most cultures, it can also signify other emotions. Some Chinese, for example may smile when they are discussing something sad or uncomfortable.
– Winking has very different connotations in different cultures. In some Latin American cultures, winking is a romantic or sexual invitation. In Nigeria, Yorubas may wink at their children if they want them to leave the room. Many Chinese consider winking to be rude.
Hand and arm gestures:
– The “thumbs-up” gesture has a vulgar connotation in Iran.
– In Colombia, tapping the underside of the elbow with the fingers of the other hand suggests that someone is stingy.
Personal space:
– In some Muslim cultures, a woman may be alarmed if a man, even a male physician, stands or sits too close to her.
Eye contact:
– Making direct eye contact is a sign of disrespect in some cultures. In other cultures, refusing to make direct eye contact is a sign of disrespect. Many Asians may be reluctant to make eye contact with an authority figure. For example, when greeting a Chinese, it is best to avoid prolonged eye contact as a sign of respect and deference.
Have you ever made an inappropriate gesture without realising it until much later(when it was obviously too late)? I know I have done my fair share.
References:
http://erc.msh.org/mainpage.cfm?file=4.6.0.htm&module=provider&language=english
rantsandrevelations.wordpress.com 
Despite knowing the important of non-verbal communications, often it is difficult to control. They are after, reflex responses. Still, like the few points you had mentioned there are some things we can take note of.
I would like to believe that the content and substance of what is said (the verbal communications) weighs over everything else but unfortunately this is not the case.
Sometimes people read too much into our non-verbal responses to the point that it becomes shallow, do you not agree?
That’s true, I think that’s the grey area with regards to interpreting verbal and non-verbal cues. We can’t heavily rely on one and totally neglect the other.
The photo cracked me up.
Body language is so important, speaks so much more than words. Good job on the entry, enjoyed reading it 🙂
Thanks Francesca, appreciate your comment 🙂 Body language actually puts across more emotions and thoughts than verbal cues!