The Haitian Wedding Experience-They say a picture is worth 1,000 words…
They say a picture is worth one thousand words. I could easily spill a thousand words on nearly each of these pictures. The pictures don’t tell the whole story as there are many stories behind this story–many of which I am still in awe that we are honored to share. I hope to share a glimpse of the beautiful people and culture of Haiti and why we love it so. Eleven days after this experience the entire country shut down for two weeks and almost no one went anywhere. So we are really thankful this happened when it did as it was a long time in coming anyways. This particular adventure is the cultural experience of a Haitian wedding. It even includes a slew of really bad pictures because they are part of the story too! Welcome to the Haitian wedding experience. This special day was at least fifteen years in the making!
Two weeks before the wedding we heard a knock at our gate and were surprised to find our friend Mirè who had walked much of the long distance. She said she had been trying to reach us but we had been in the states over the holidays. Her request was urgent because her wedding was only two weeks away and she could not get married without a “Paren”! She wanted to know if Eric would take that honor. A “Paren” is the godfather who acts as the best man in the wedding, signs their certificate and speaks for them. Eric has been the paren once before for our friends and ministry partners Frantz and Julienne’s wedding so he knew the drill and depth of the request. But Eric is ten years older than Frantz and ten years younger than Mirè. Can the godfather be younger than the godchild? Apparently, that is of no issue here. And I was told I could be the honorary Maren (godmother) even though there was already another picked out. The bride Mirè and her other Maren, the two ladies pictured are members of our Kofael Haiti program and we know them and their kids well. But this night was the first time we had met the groom (pictured standing next to his bride). Eric said he had to meet and have a long talk with the groom before he could agree to be the paren. So we set a dinner meeting date a week from the wedding and were pleased to hear their story and that the groom passed the test! This is their first marriage at fifty-four and fifty-five years old. They have a fourteen year old son together but have never been able to get married for many reasons that were explained in depth. Now they strongly believe God’s will is for them to be married because they desire to be obedient to God’s Word and be an example of a Christian couple who love and follow God to their children, church and community. It was so sweet to listen to their testimonies and journey to this day. We are blessed to get to share in their story!
We were asked to carry the bride to the wedding in our vehicle as the sweaty, dusty, uphill walk to the church in the same community would surely ruin her gown and shoes. We arrived on island time at 3:00 for the 3:00 wedding and sent our kids and Roselie on the hike to the church so there would be room in our vehicle for the bride and groom. Here is how we found the bride (in blue), just starting her hair process. The rest of the wedding party was in similar fashion. No one seemed to be in a hurry even though the wedding was supposed to already have started. I love this about Haiti. And sometimes not so much.In the meantime, we decided to make the most of our extra time and visit little Ricardo recovering from his hydrocephalus operation.I love his smile and how much his mother loves and does her best to care for him and his siblings. I love how God put this family in our lives and allowed us to be a small part of helping their family stay together.Finally time to head up the hill to the wedding!Mirè looked so beautiful!We ended up driving the Groom…
…and children of the wedding party.Paren Eric with the Groom and flower girls.The Bride and her Maren who is five months pregnant with her 9th child here.Me and Mirè.Eric and Markendale. Markendale and some of his siblings have been sponsored for school the past few years. He was all dressed up for this special event as Markendale’s mom is the Maren.Saint Aline and her little brother Alex are part of a family we have been friends with over the years and help her and three of her siblings attend school.Katiana and her little brother Wislo were in their finest clothes and all smiles. Their mother passed away a few years ago and life has been very tough for their family. Little Wislo was taken in by bride Mirè’s elderly mother and we helped him to start school this year. These kids so easily could have ended up in an orphanage but their community has become their family and that is a beautiful thing.Sweet Shamma being herself. Shamma is Ricardo’s big sister. She too would have gone to an orphanage if God had not sent her grandmother to our doorstep a few years ago.Princess Jessica is the only daughter of the Maren. She tells me number nine on the way is another boy.Jessica’s little brother’s Emmanuel (left) and Markendale (right) were wearing some of our boys hand me down suits. Before they were sponsored for school, Emmanuel and Markendale were recipients of surgeries they both needed.Not just a big day for the bride and groom! Daughter of the bride Daphne was a beaming beauty! Traditionally in Haitian weddings multiple ladies of the wedding party are all dressed as brides! The wedding gowns are all rented but the other members of the wedding party have to purchase their custom made matching outfits. Daphne’s family is materially very poor and she and her brother Alexanley are sponsored for school. They had looked forward to this day for fifteen years and were dressed to match their excitement!Eric trying to figure out what was happening next in the chaos of trying to line up to enter the church.Ethan, Esmée and Evan had been sitting at the church since 3:00. It was now 5:00. There were not enough chairs for everyone in the church so Roselie, Ethan and some of the other kids they beckoned went down to our KOFAEL house to fetch more chairs.Because he was so early, Evan got a chair and managed to get a nap in before the wedding started.By the time I shuffled in I managed to scoot into a fraction of a wooden bench. Roselande and Angelica promptly found my lap.School sponsored girls Shamma, Marie Ivenie and Fenia waiting for the ceremony to start.The Groom, Bride, Paren and Maren will sit at the front in these chairs.Cue the entrance of the wedding party and the flashes of every single phone in the room. There was no announcement about staying in seats or that only one photographer should be taking photos.
Daphne and her wedding party escort danced down the aisle. Dramatic dancing down the aisle is a super fun highlight of Haitian weddings!They had their very own song and took the ENTIRETY of that song to dance their way to the front.Next came the wedding party lined up for their special dance.They also…took a whole songfor their
dance.Eric made his entrance with the Groom and wedding party children.The aforementioned dancers made a arch for the bride, groom, paren and maren entrances to pass under.“Here comes the bride, friends by her side…Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Sweetly, serenely, in soft glowing light.” (And the flashes of every friend and family member’s phones.)
Before the wedding vows are said the bride sits across from the groom. After the marriage is complete they exchange seats with the paren and maren and sit next to each other.Wedding vowsPraying over the bride and groom and their new life together.According to every person there, when asked why they were at the wedding they all replied, “for the kiss!” There was much hooping and hollering and many many flashes over the kiss. Eric was in the midst of that fun but I missed it over all the hoopla.Things settled down a little so the choir could sing.The bride and groom are now married and can sit next to each other!
It was too dark to take pictures of the procession outside nor the fifteen people that squeezed into the vehicle with me (including Jessica upon my lap “helping” me drive) for the descent back to the house–for the reception we had no idea was going to happen until that very moment. Eric was ushered into a separate vehicle with the bride, groom and matron of honor (the maren). I’m pretty sure there were at least a few others that piled into that car as well.
This was probably the most memorable part of the wedding for me. I arrived on the reception scene just as the rice was being thrown over the main wedding party. Except it wasn’t rice or birdseed or bubbles or balloons. It was champagne. A bottle of champagne was opened and the opener proceeded to douse the Bride, Groom, Paren, and Maren over their heads and wedding attire. Eric was all smiles until it started pouring on him. I was dying with laughter until I sat in the chair that was behind the party which also got doused with champagne.The reception spread. I didn’t see Miré’s mother at the wedding. The reception was at her home and she must have stayed behind to prepare the food. Heaping plates were served for Eric and I that we somehow managed to discretely sneak to hungry kids piled around us who we knew there would not be enough food for later.This cake must have have been a supreme labor of love. It was a bit short on icing in a few places but the decorations made up for that.The highlight feature of the reception was the blue lighted water fountain underneath the cake. One of Mirè’s oldest daughters plugged it in and started the show. Eric and I oooed and awed over the fountain display along with the others who could fit into the small room. About fifteen seconds after the initial plugging in of the fountain, it was unplugged. Eric reacted with, “You should leave that on because it is so pretty!” I nudged him and reminded him that we are in Haiti and they probably only had 15 seconds of stored electricity for such things as cake fountains. Would he rather have the fountain or the one light bulb lighting the room? This too reminded us of how special this wedding was and what financial sacrifices all of these dear ones must have made for this day to finally happen.Eric took over cake cutting from the bride.The cake was delicious and we are still savoring the sweetness of this special day spent among so many stories we are in awe to have shared over our eight years in Haiti.
One Reply to “The Haitian Wedding Experience-They say a picture is worth 1,000 words…”
Thanks for sharing the beautiful story of LOVE, SACRIFICE, and COMMITMENT!!!
I have never witnessed a Haitian wedding. But, all the pics (and they do take a lot!) and discriptive words were spot on to their lives and culture. One most Americans will never understand.
Thanks for sharing the beautiful story of LOVE, SACRIFICE, and COMMITMENT!!!
I have never witnessed a Haitian wedding. But, all the pics (and they do take a lot!) and discriptive words were spot on to their lives and culture. One most Americans will never understand.