Here at Shameless Consumer Industries, I have a lot of respect for the pre-made meal industry. It takes a lot of gumption to take $8 worth of food and sell it for over $20. Thanks to Chef’d you no longer have to sign up for those expensive and controlling Blue Apron subscriptions, and for $20 per two-serving meal, you can have fresh ingredients right at your fingertips, provided those fingertips are attached to a body that is shopping at your local grocery store where Chef’d products are sold.
Or if you’re a frugal consumer, like myself, you can wait until the Chef’d products are on deep clearance which in the case of my local Tops Markets is always.
Today’s product is Black Truffle Butter Sirloin Steaks, a meal that is completely worthless if you’re the type of person who hates sirloin steak and black truffle butter. Personally this meal combines two of the Shameless Consumer’s favorite things: Truffles and sirloin, and the dish itself is actually a callback to the inventor of truffle butter, Florencio Trofel, an Italian immigrant who left his country in the early twentieth century and found his way to Brazil. Florencio, incidentally and ironically, accidentally discovered where the nipples are located on cashews and thus stumbled into a rather lucrative business harvesting and selling their milk.
But enough about history, let’s talk food. Chef’d Black Truffle Butter Sirloin Steak is so easy a four year old can figure it out; six steps and hardly any words with more than two syllables. In short, I couldn’t ask for more outside of a four year old who might be able to explain how to cook a steak.
First step is to water down the chicken base (yes I said chicken base), quarter and add the potatoes, and then toss in the roasted garlic for good measure, and right now some of you are no doubt thinking “potatoes in chicken stock with roast garlic? This guy might just be on to something.” You’re welcome. Throw those puppies into the microwave for ten minutes.
Fun fact: Chicken base looks like caramel. It does not taste like caramel.
Step two is to pat the steaks dry with a paper towel, preferably while whispering sweet nothings and words of encouragement to them, and then season with salt and pepper. Not that salt. I have to say this is where Chef’d let me down with its inconsistently shaped pieces of meat. If I wanted inconsistent meat, I’d visit your dad. You know, the cross eyed butcher.
I made this joke knowing that somewhere, out there, a someone is reading this whose dad is a cross-eyed butcher and will take this way too personally. That was actually the joke, nobody is going to read this.
Step 3 is to sear the steaks for two minutes on each side, forming a nice crust. Personally there are only three things that the Shameless Consumer is fond of having crust on. Pizza, pudding, and grandma’s mustache. That said, I’m particularly proud of any kind of crust that I made myself so this steak had wedged a special spot in my heart next to the immortal remnants of those TGIF loaded potato skins.
The next step is to put the steak, asparagus, and rosemary in the oven at 425 and bake for 4-5 minutes.
What pops out is a tasty meal if I do say so myself, with ingredients sourced from Chef’d and no need for sharp cutlery, we can ensure ourselves a delicious meal with Shameless Consumer at the helm and minimal casualties to speak of.
Speaking of deliciously sourced meals, have you heard of Food Phreak? They deliver fresh ingredients to your door on a weekly basis, and right now I have a special deal where if you go to foodphreak.com/shameless, they’ve promised to add another incident report to their rapidly growing grounds for a restraining order against me. It won’t get you anything off your first order, but if you listen to any podcasts odds are you already know of a coupon code you can use.
Ultimately I give this meal a thumbs up under the condition that you also buy it at $7 like I did. At $20, maybe not so much. It did give me two meals, and I can’t complain about the steak. No, I absolutely can.
Verdict: 4/5 – Very expensive at its normal price, but decent ingredients. Asparagus was rather soft on its tips. Truffle Butter should be in everything.
P.S.: This review was not sponsored by Chef’d, but the next one can be. Hook me up, whatever your name is.
The Shameless Consumer 