Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist.
STALKERS are wreaking havoc in the lives of millions.
What is the psychological makeup of a person that perpetrates such heinous behavior on another?
Stalking, rather than being a condition in and of itself, is a behavior that fits under the umbrella of symptoms for a variety of disorders.
In this article I will examine Stalking. What is the Psychology behind the stalker?
Stalking is a critical issue globally and particularly in the United States. The National Crime Victimization Survey says that in one year, 5,857,030 Americans were stalked or harassed (Baum, Catalano, Rand, & Rose, 2009). The effects of stalking are also well known. More than half of the people in the sample mentioned above changed their behavior mostly out of fear.
People who said they were being stalked changed their daily routines, stayed with family and friends, added caller ID on their phones, and changed their locks or put in a security system.
Many of the victims of stalking either carry pepper spray or purchase a gun.
People who have been stalked or harassed have also been looked at from a psychopathology point of view.
Pathé and Mullen found in 1997 that victims of stalking develop high anxiety (83%), trouble sleeping (74%), and appetite disturbance (48%). Also, 24% of the people in their sample said they had tried to kill themselves or thought about it a lot.
Research shows that stalking and harassment are common and have devastating effects on the people who are targeted.
To constitute stalking, three factors must exist simultaneously.
1). The stalking behavior must be directed at one person,
2.) The behavior intends to put that person in fear for their safety
3). It must actually make that person fear for his or her safety (Owens, 2016).
In addition, to be classified as stalking, the behavior must occur more than once.
There is no unique stalker profile; stalkers demonstrate a wide variety of actions, motives, and psychological features.
Stalkers use a variety of tactics to follow and harass their victims.
This can be done by sending them letters or emails; spreading rumors; following them, showing up at their home or place of work, giving them gifts, threatening them, or even attacking them. Also, technological progress and social media have given cyberstalkers a multitude of ways to stalk and harass victims.
“Stalking, rather than being a condition in and of itself, is a behavior that fits under the umbrella of symptoms for a variety of disorders.
According to a 2012 study published in the journal “Aggression and Violent Behavior”, stalkers may be diagnosed with psychotic illness, personality disorders like narcissistic personality disorder, and delusional disorders like erotomania, which is the belief that another person, usually a famous person, is in love with them.
Despite this variation, research has shown that some features appear repeatedly among stalkers. For example, in a 2014 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 80% of people who had been stalked said they knew their stalker in some way. There is also evidence that stalkers are often males in their 30s, and their targets are typically women in their late teens and early twenties—though not exclusively. Other studies have indicated that stalkers often exhibit rage and instability, which typically arise from childhood, as well as impulsive behavior.
Anyone has the potential to become a victim. Although superstars like Madonna and David Letterman are more likely to make headlines when they are harassed by deranged strangers, the great majority of victims are regular individuals who knew their stalkers, typically as lovers or spouses.
The majority of stalkers have severe personality disorders. The most common one among stalkers is narcissistic personality disorder, which gives stalkers an exaggerated feeling of self-worth and an obsessive desire for other people to admire and revere them.
Extreme dependence, in which a person needs constant help, attention, and acceptance from others, and borderline personality disorder, in which a person has unpredictable emotions and a high sensitivity to rejection and abandonment, are two more personality disorders that experts often see in stalkers.
According to Cupach & Spitzberg (2004), there are eight clusters of distinguishable stalking behaviors:
Sending flowers when it is not appropriate is an example of hyper intimacy, which may be thought of as traditional courtship carried to an extreme.
According to research, this sort of conduct may be satisfying to the stalker since it creates indecision/ambivalence in victims (Dunn, 2002). The target may feel both intimidated and charmed by the conduct. This ambiguity might make it more difficult for prospective victims to exit the stalker scenario.
Cyberstalking encompasses all types of communication made possible by electronic devices and technology. This category includes the internet, email, phones, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and all other forms of social media. Cyberstalking is more common in ex-intimate relationships. Before the breakup, ex-intimates are likely to have had access to email accounts and other forms of social media.
► Interactional contact is contact with explicit awareness (face-to-face or brief encounter).
► Surveillance tactics are often concealed and covert.
► Invasion tactics entail the breach of personal and legal boundaries, such as unlawfully collecting information, trespassing, and breaking into victims’ dwellings.
The most severe forms of stalking entail threats, intimidation, and physical violence. Acts such as spreading rumors, insults, efforts to damage reputations, and harassment. Rumors are meant to tarnish the victim’s reputation. For instance, a stalker may inform the victim’s family, employers, or acquaintances that they are indulging in activities such as extramarital affairs or embezzlement.
They may attempt to influence their employers by spreading rumors about them to their managers. Insults are also meant to cause emotional distress. The stalker may verbally abuse the target or send electronic communications full of obscenities. Harassment may take many forms, including the ones listed above, but it can even be caused by something as apparently innocuous as an accidental encounter. Aggression may take the form of destruction of property, the brandishing or use of a weapon, physical violence (including attempted or successful attack), physical violence (including murder), or sexual violence.
There is a distinct range of stalker behaviors, from mild annoyance to deadly violence.
Attachment theory is a psychoanalytic theory that attempts to explain fundamental human interactions from birth through adulthood.
Attachment theory derives from John Bowlby’s seminal work. In a London clinic, Bowlby treated youngsters suffering from emotional distress and studied their interactions with their caretakers. Through these findings, he concluded that a strong relationship with a caregiver gave an infant a sense of security and a solid foundation (Bowlby, 1969).
Bowlby’s findings inspired the subsequent work of Ainsworth et al. (1978) and paved the way for attachment and dysfunctional relationship studies. Attachment theory has been utilized, for instance, to explain dysfunctional relationships in instances of intimate partner violence, which has been connected to stalker behavior.
Attachment theory claims that a child’s attachment style to his or her parents affects their behaviour in adulthood.
Ainsworth et al. (1978) made substantial contributions to the study of attachment types in childhood. Through experimental observation of caregiver-child interactions, three distinct attachment patterns were identified:
Children who are securely bonded appear to have confidence in their caregiver’s ability to meet their needs. Children who are securely attached are easy to calm down, feel safe exploring their surroundings, and look for their caregiver when they are upset.
Those with insecure avoidant attachments are emotionally and physically independent from their caregivers. Additionally, when distressed, they are less likely to seek out their caregiver. It is believed that children with avoidant attachment styles have caregivers that are unresponsive to their needs and reject them (Ainsworth, 1979). Typically, children with insecure ambivalent attachment styles display clingy and dependent behaviors. However, their conduct is not comforting, and they will exhibit sadness when the caregiver returns.
In general, children with a secure attachment style mature into mentally healthy adults, whereas those with an insecure attachment style regard the world as a hostile and unwelcoming place and act accordingly.
According to research in this field, many stalkers have insecure attachment types (Cupach et al., 2000; Hazen & Shaver, 1987; Kienlen, 1998). Depending on the author, the literature on Stalking describes various adult victims. Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991) looked at a four-category model of attachment and found that adults have four types of attachment:
There is evidence, as the term suggests, that preoccupied people engage in compulsive relationship intrusion (Dutton & Winstead, 2006).
It has been determined that pathological narcissism is associated with stalking. When rejected, people with a high level of pathological narcissism suffer a narcissistic injury and pursue the other to restore self-esteem (Meloy, 1999). Restoring self-esteem may involve expressing displeasure toward the other through vindictive conduct, such as writing disturbing messages or posting once-private photographs online. Individuals that are narcissistic have an inflated sense of self, cannot comprehend why others do not share their viewpoint, and consequently feel justified in stalking them (Menard & Pincus, 2012).
It is widely established that drugs and alcohol can have disinhibiting effects and induce psychotic-like episodes. In such conditions, perceptions of relational boundaries become lax and can frequently worsen the initiation of stalking behavior.
The loss of inhibitions caused by intoxication may result in stalking behavior. It is a well-known fact that drunk individuals exhibit actions that may not occur when they are sober.
The majority of published research has focused on classic stalking, in which the stalker approaches, pursues, and harasses their target. However, technological advancements have altered the appearance of stalking. In the past, stalkers had limited options for contacting their victims, including confronting, calling, and mailing their targets. Today, however, stalkers have various ways to contact, monitor, and follow their victims, including social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, as well as texting, instant messaging, and emailing. In addition, the technologically skilled stalker may employ GPS technology on their victims’ smartphones or even their cars to track their movements.
Cyberstalking has been defined as a pattern of repeated threats, harassment, or other unwelcome contact through the use of a computer or other electronic communication-based technology (Miller, 2012). As technology progresses and new social media applications are developed, it appears likely that more people will use these tools to pursue relationships or exact revenge
A typical cyberstalking scenario might take the form of the stalker posting false or hostile information on a social media platform, impersonating the victim online, and/or recruiting others to harass or threaten the target before hacking his or her personal accounts.
One case in particular highlights the devastating effects that these people can wreak on a victim. An ex-partner initiated the harassment by sending emails and making numerous phone calls over a 6-month period, which led to the victim getting a restraining order. However, the stalker subsequently utilized the Internet to continue the harassment.
He took out fake ads in the victims’ name for casual sex partners and for selling pornography. In these ads, he put the victim’s name, address, and phone number. According to the victim, she received several propositions each day from interested males. It became so bad that men were showing up at her door, even engaging in sex acts. This had a devastating effect on the woman, and she ended up being hospitalised for stress and trauma.
In one study, it was found that cyberstalkers were much less likely to participate in “approach behavior” and significantly more likely to be former intimate partners or the subject of a restraining order.
In order to rebuild self-esteem, a narcissistic hurt leads the stalker to renew the connection or seek retaliation. Meloy said in 1998 that the Internet is different for stalkers because there are no social rules that stop them from being violent, and there is less sensory stimulation. It causes the offender’s imagination to go into overdrive, allowing them to lie with ease. That’s why it’s so important to differentiate between pure digital stalkers and those that cross over into other forms of harassment as well.
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Stalking has been linked to a variety of negative outcomes, including but not limited to depression, PTSD, physical harm, and even death.
There are so many unknowables when it comes to stalking that it can cause a great deal of anxiety and distress. Roughly half of individuals who are stalked are worried about what will happen next, and over a third are afraid the harassment will never end.
Individuals who are stalked may have disruptions in their daily routines, including trouble sleeping and missing work. Around one-eighth of stalking victims end up missing work, and one-seventh of victims end up relocating as a direct result of their ordeal. High levels of anxiety and social dysfunction are additional effects of stalking.
If a person makes you feel uneasy or frightened, this is your gut signaling that something is up. Trust it. Sometimes we know something’s amiss before we can see evidence. Dealing with a stalker might be unnerving, but there are steps you can do to protect yourself immediately:
Be resolute and let the individual who is making you uncomfortable know that you do not want to continue communication. Follow through with this at the first instance of invasive conduct. Once you decline contact, you must stop replying so as not to encourage them.
It was their unpleasant conduct that led to this scenario, therefore you shouldn’t worry about hurting their feelings when you discontinue communication. You are only setting boundaries to protect yourself.
Stalking refers to the unwanted and constant attention that may make you feel terrified, uneasy, and anxious.
Because of this, it is not always easy to know what to do in order to feel safer and deal with the terrible effects of being stalked.
However, if you put certain safety precautions into action, as well as seek assistance from friends, family members, and the local police force, this should help alleviate some of your fears. However, it is necessary to take as many safety precautions as possible. Sadly you may not be able to totally avoid the dangers associated with being stalked, despite how many safety measures you take.
Therefore, you will need to maintain the highest possible level of vigilance and never be afraid to get in touch with the authorities if you feel threatened or worried about your safety.
Manipulation is one of the best ways for a stalker to get what they want, especially when dealing with an ex-partner. Some typical techniques a stalker could use to draw you back are described below.
They will use guilt or create a crisis to get you to feel sorry for them. Such as, “Why are you doing this to me?” How could you not worry about me?
They make empty promises to keep in contact. Example: “This is the last time, I swear.” I just need closure. “
They will resort to blackmail. Here’s an example: “I’ll let your employer know about that time you called in sick.”
They play on your vulnerabilities and make unfounded accusations. For instance “You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
They will distort what you say to fit their purposes. “I know that your friends are only trying to brainwash you against me because I know that you truly do love me.”
They will offer extravagant or costly presents with strings attached. “After all I’ve done for you…or how can you treat me this way after I have been so kind to you”
Some of these may be common sense, but when a person is in the grip of a stalker, rationality can very quickly disappear. It is vital to plan.
If you are aware that you are being stalked, try not to go out alone if you can arrange for a friend to accompany you. If you are going on a night out, arrange to go out in groups, and don’t get separated from them. Keep your house safe with a good security system and always pay close attention to what’s going on around you.
Here are some other safety tips to help you deal with being stalked,
Strategies for the home, school, and work
Even if you are at your residence, place of employment, or school, the person who is trying to track you may still come upon you or make contact with you in some other manner. Because of this, you need to give some thought to how you can protect yourself in each of these environments.
The following are some safety precautions that may be taken at home, in the classroom, and on the job:
Make sure that your house is secure before you let someone in. You should put as much money as you can into alarms, video doorbells, security systems, and locks to make sure your house is as safe as possible.
It is recommended that you park your vehicle in areas that are well-lit and busy. If you have a vehicle that you use for business or for pleasure, you should be cautious about where you park it. You should ask someone to escort you to your car. As soon as you get into your house or vehicle, immediately pull the door to its full closure and lock it. If you stand still and let the door shut behind you, the person who is following you may wedge their foot in the gap and enter the building.
Make it known to individuals that you are being followed. No matter who they are, whether your employer, neighbors, or classmates, you should make sure they are aware that you are being harassed. It’s vital to let others know so they can keep an eye out for you, even if it could be awkward to speak about at first. For instance, a neighbor may see someone creeping about on your property and report their observations to both you and the authorities. You may even hear about it from a fellow student who saw someone strange hanging around outside the classroom.
Having other people watch out for you provides an additional layer of protection.
Identify escape routes. Be ready to leave your home, workplace, or school quickly if the person who is following you suddenly walks in or shows up there. If you already know how to get out of a situation before it happens, you won’t have to spend time trying to figure out what to do. You won’t be at a loss for what to do in any way.
Keep in mind that the crime of stalking is considered illegal in most countries.
It carries different penalties in different jurisdictions.
No matter what the law says, if you think someone is stalking you, you should tell the police about it and file a formal complaint. The following are some additional steps you may take to ensure your safety.
Begin keeping a journal of all stalking activities. Keep a record of when and where the stalking occurs, as well as who, if anybody, may have seen it. Record the time, date, and location of the event, as well as how it made you feel. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to contact the police or an attorney, the information in this article will be beneficial to both of them.
Make sure that the police are aware of the situation. Make sure that you let them know about any incidents of stalking, threats of violence, or damage that has been done to your property. Even if they are unable to take any action at the moment, they will keep a record of your complaint in the event that the stalking persists or becomes more severe in any way.
Inquire about the possibility of obtaining a protective order or a restraining order. Even though the laws in each country are different, the majority of people who have been stalked twice or more are eligible to get an order of protection that tells the person who is stalking them to stay away from them.
Additionally, they are not permitted to make any kind of contact with you, and if they do so, they are breaching the law and may be held liable for their actions.
Keep records of instances of stalking and cyber harassment. This proof could come in the form of emails, handwritten notes, gifts, security camera footage, phone calls, text messages, social media posts, or anything else that shows the person is constantly getting in touch with you without your permission.
Remember that you CAN put a stop to the practice of stalking, despite how terrifying it may seem. The important thing is to remain vigilant, to educate oneself, and to seek assistance when necessary. If you start doing this sooner rather than later, you’ll have a greater chance of succeeding.
Always keep in mind that no one can take away the power that you have. Hold on to it, and always keep in mind that you are the one in charge.
What psychological disorders are commonly associated with stalkers?
How can I protect myself from a stalker in the digital world?
What legal protections are available to stalking victims?
Ainsworth, M. S. (1979). Infant–mother attachment. American Psychologist, 34(10), 932-937.
Ainsworth, M. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: a psychological study of the strange situation. Hillsdale (NJ): Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss. New York, NY, US: Basic Books.
Pathé, M., & Mullen, P. E. (1997). The impact of stalkers on their victims. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 17012-17.
Cupach, W. R., Spitzberg, B. H., & Carson, C. L. (2000). Toward a theory of obsessive relational intrusion and stalking. In K. Dindia, S. Duck, K. Dindia, S. Duck (Eds.), Communication and personal relationships (pp. 131-146). New York, NY, US: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
Dunn, J. (2002). Courting Disaster: Intimate Stalking, Culture, and Criminal justice: New York: Aldine de Gruyter.
Cupach, W. R., Spitzberg, B. H., & Carson, C. L. (2000). Toward a theory of obsessive relational intrusion and stalking. In K. Dindia, S. Duck, K. Dindia, S. Duck (Eds.), Communication and personal relationships (pp. 131-146). New York, NY, US: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
Dutton, L. B., & Winstead, B. A. (2006). Predicting unwanted pursuit: Attachment, relationship satisfaction, relationship alternatives, and break-up distress. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,
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