This book is giving me hope. I’ve struggle so badly with my fears and have tried all sort of therapies, self-help book and counseling, but I still live in a fear-avoidance life. This book has inspired me because it has broken fear down in a manner that I finally can truly understand.
Basically, the author describes that we have 3 fears and not just one fear to deal with.
The first one is the awful physical symptoms we feel in our body, the second fear is the negative storyline that we have in our head, and finally facing the fear itself. The first two fears is what trips most people up while the third fear is the easiest to deal with.
Having fear broken down in these three stages really helped me not understand why I freeze and run away so much. For me, having the awful body sensations like a stomach pains, dry mouth and a rapid heart rate combined with my scary thoughts, is what held me back. It was the real fear itself, but my own body and mind that betrayed me.
This book taught me how to neutralize the first fear (physical sensations) and second fear (negative mindset). By doing so, facing the real fear was a piece of cake, or at least much easier. This is the secret to the fear game. That is - the real fear isn’t that bad. What sucks is the awful body sensations and racing negative mind. But, once you learn to handle your body and mind, getting into the real fear isn’t that bad.
This book has a very detail and structure plan to get you to this level. I just started it and so far, I have made tremendous progress with both my fears and anxiety.
I haven’t completely overcome my life as a coward, but I’m heading in the right direction.
For the first time in my life, I have hope that finally can defeat these long lasting fears that has held me back in life. I’m excited for what a courageous future will be bring.
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Buy this book!
I am a master of avoidance. I find excuses and make up both irrational and rational reasons to get me out of doing things that scared me. My life has shrunk in all areas of my life including my 10-year marriage, job, and relationships with my family. I’ve tried therapy and all sorts of alternate forms of therapy but they did help in the beginning, my fears came back and I fell back to my life of a coward.I don’t know if I will ever get through my anxiety, but this book has given me strong reasons to believe so. Since reading this book, I have been much better at handling my stupid thoughts and fears. So far, what the author has written about has made perfect sense to me and surprisingly the fear defeating technique that he advocates is pretty easy to administer in my life. Yesterday, I had a breakthrough and was able to get through a situation that has haunted me for years. It was pretty a miserable moment, but I got through it and didn’t die like I used to think I would.If I told you what it was, you all probably laugh, but for me, this experience was a huge act of courage on my part. (Yes, it was that irrational and mundane, but it was something I avoided for years.) That’s how sensitive and overactive my fight or flight response is. But, with the sage words for this book, I learned to look at my fear response from a different angle. Instead of seeing as the enemy, I’m beginning to embrace is if it’s a friend that trying to protect me and save me from danger.What’s really insightful is how the author breaks fear down to three cycles. The first cycle is the physical sensations we feel in our body, the second cycle is the self-defeating thoughts that run through our heads and the third fear is the actual task. Dealing with three fears may seem like a handful and more work to do than just having to beat one fear, but this approach works. The more you do it, the easier and faster it will take for you to confront your fears.Buy this book as it is highly recommended from a chronic person that avoids fears like myself.
Top reviews from other countries
Josh You ARE
It works. One of the best books I've read if you want PRACTICAL help.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 15, 2023
lawro--purchased 15 sept 2021
Fantastic READ--MUST BUY!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 6, 2019