53 Signs He Likes You, According to Dating Experts
Goodbye to overanalyzing his texts at brunch.
“I don’t even know if he likes me!!!” is something my best friend once screamed on the bus to a soccer game when we were freshmen in high school. She did this because I asked her about a rumor I’d heard that she and her crush were now ~official~ and there is absolutely nothing more angst-inducing for a teenage girl than trying to figure out whether the guy you like likes you back, even if you and the entire rest of the school are pretty sure he does.
And hi, guess what? Even if you are no longer a 14-year-old girl, trying to figure out whether your crush likes you can be just as angsty when you’re a grown-ass woman as it was in high school. Trust, we get it. When you’re lost in the throes of crushy-anxious excitement, every little thing that special someone you’ve got your eye on says or does (or doesn’t say or do!) can feel like a clue that may or may not be the key to figuring out whether you two are destined for love. Naturally, this can lead to hours (and/or days, weeks, months??!) of stressful overanalyzing.
Luckily, there are some legit ways to figure out how your crush really feels—ones that don’t involve obsessively decoding his every text in your girls’ groupchat. While you could always get antiquated dating advice from reruns of Sex and the City (no shade!) or study your astrological compatibility, your best bet is to listen to the pros. Hence why we asked for them for their expert take on how to tell if he likes you. You’re literally so welcome.
Obviously, the easiest way to find out if the guy you like likes you back is to, well, ask him. (Sorry!) But while clinical social worker Ashley Starwood agrees that the best move is to be upfront and “communicate your feelings” to avoid confusion, the direct approach can be, um, genuinely terrifying not for everyone! So if you’d rather do some undercover investigation before you hit send on that, “Do you like me? Check ‘Yes’ or ‘No’?” text, you’ve come to the right place. Keeping an eye out for these 53 expert-advised signs he likes you should help clear things up, just trust me.
He reciprocates your interest
One of the easiest ways to tell whether or not someone likes you is to pay attention to their intent, explains Bumble's sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram. Calling when they say they will, not flaking on plans, and reciprocating the time and energy you put into the connection shows intent. "The ways in which they show effort may not exactly mirror yours, but be mindful in their behavior," Boodram says. "Sometimes it is the small, overlooked gestures that go a long way."
He makes plans
If he likes you, he will make time to see you, trust. Not only that, but he will make specific plans to do so. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, (though if he wants to treat you to a nice dinner or an elaborate getaway, who are you to argue?) but a guy who’s really into you will make plans that don’t involve a late-night “U up?” text.
He wants you around
Look, should the bar be this low? No. But look, we’re talking about dudes here, okay? It is what it is. Anyway, the point is that there’s a difference—however subtle!—between a guy who wants to hang out and one who wants you around. Someone who wants you around will let you chill at his place all weekend instead of sending you home right after morning sex. He might even actually say things like, “Stay as long as you want” or low-key-high-key “joke” about wanting you to “move in.” Y’know, that kinda thing.
He engages with your socials
If you can always count on him to comment on your fire selfies and hilarious reels, clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet, PhD, says this is a pretty good sign he's feelin' more than friendship.
He’s there for you when things are tough
Is he the first person you call when you get bad news, have a tough day, or get into a huge fight with your roommate? And is he responsive to that? Like, does he tell you to come over, make you a cup of tea, and wrap you in a blanket when you’re sad? Yeah, that dude likes you.
He posts about you
Not only does this guy have a quick reflex to always like your posts, but both Starwood and Boodram say if he posts, reposts, or boasts about you on his own social media accounts, it's a sign he's comfortable letting others know of his affection for you (awww).
He looks you in the eye
It might seem simple, but marriage and family therapist Payal Patel says eye contact is vital to non-verbal communication. "When someone looks you directly in the eye when you’re talking to them, it shows they are present and listening to you," she explains. "It also builds a form of intimacy between two people."
He remembers your firsts
Whether it was the day your met, your first official date, or the anniversary of your first kiss, Starwood says if he not only remembers your firsts, but celebrates them with a date, a gift, or a social post, he's likely crushing hard.
He wants you there for the big stuff
Has he asked you to be his plus-one at a wedding recently? Invited you to his birthday party? Asked you to join him at work dinner? Girl, HE LIKES YOU!
He’s got a *healthy* bit of jealousy
We're not talking about snooping, stonewalling, or other red flag behavior here. But Starwood says a little jealousy if another guy flirts with you or tries to ~move in~ on you shows "he wants you all to himself." Also, hi, if he communicates his feelings maturely, that's another *chef's kiss* sign he's worthy of your love.
He checks in during the day
Whether it's a normal day or you have something big going on (like a test or presentation at work), Dr. Overstreet says if he consistently reaches out, it not only means he's thinking about you now, but he's taking note of your future mood/response to life events.
“Just because” gifts are a thing for y’all
Okay, we don't mean diamond necklaces or exotic vacays (though that would be cool?), but Dr. Overstreet says if he buys your favorite candy at the grocery store or picks up some flowers on his way to your place, that's a good sign his feelings are stronger than friendship.
He tells his friends about you
If you happen to hear from a friend of a friend that the guy you’re crushing on brought you up in the guys’ group chat the other day, (and/or can’t shut up about you anywhere, all the time) chances are pretty good he’s crushing back.
He takes care of you
Bonus points if it’s without you asking. Boodram says "whether it's medicine for a stuffy nose or a walk around the park to clear your head after a stressful day," stepping up to care for you shows his feelings are deeper than surface level.
He checks things off your to-do list
Commonly known as the "acts of service" love language, Boodram says to be on the lookout if he starts offering to check off some of your to-do list items. "Whether it’s running by the grocery store or picking up your dry cleaning, anything that takes the burden off you for the day/week shows he really cares," she explains.
Making you laugh or smile is his M.O.
Cue the rom-com vibes. Love and relationship coach, Dr. Lurve says him clearly going out of his way to make you giggle is a classic "he likes you" sign. If he's not afraid to be silly for the sake of your smile, there's probably more than friendship under his jokes.
He sticks up for you
It's easy to be sweet to someone during good times, but Dr. Lurve says if he supports you during hard times, it shows his interest in a deeper bond. "Something you want in your corner is a partner who will stick up for you no matter what," she explains. "Whether you become part of a confrontational situation with him or someone says something to him about you when you’re not around, if he stands up for you, it shows his loyalty to you and your connection.
He wants to talk on the phone (not just text!)
In our advanced era of remote communication, (Texting! DMs! The possibilities are endless!) an actual phone call is *kind of* a big deal. Any guy who takes the time to actually call you to chat when he could just text is probably pretty freaking into you.
He cleans up
If he makes an effort to tidy up his space for you, sex coach and educator Sara Tang says it's a sign he wants to "present his best self" to you. Clearing up his physical space shows he wants to impress you and more importantly, that your impression of him matters.
And he spruces himself up
Just like cleaning his space points toward wanting to impress you, Tang says so does putting an effort into grooming himself. This could be dressing up, styling his hair, wearing cologne, etc. That doesn't mean he's got to wear a tux every time you're together, but if he clearly spent some time primping before casual hangs, he's probably feeling something more than friendship
Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won’t stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Just a List of Super Easy Ways to Be Romantic
15 Celeb Baes and The Dogs They Love
13 Things He Wants You to Wear to Bed
Alex Skarsgård's Bad Sunburn Looks So Damn Good