As someone who's lived in Slough most of my life, I've heard every comment there is when it comes to our town.
From the good to the bad, to the unsurprising.
While Slough may not be as well known internationally compared to London or Birmingham, it's famous enough for outsiders to make the same comments to those who live and work here over and over (and over) again.
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They mostly have a habit of slating our town, or reminding us of fun facts that we already know.
Despite its bad press, there's also plenty to celebrate. We have one of the biggest Tesco's, a chocolate factory (none other than Mars), and we're close to Heathrow. What more could you want?
But some people outside the border still insist on putting it down, so if you want to stay in our good books, here's the things you should never mention when talking to someone from Slough.
So... where even is Slough?
Well, it's not in Windsor, but it's near Windsor. Next to the castle. Where the Queen lives.
It's not in West London either, no matter how much we try to claim the area. We are just outside of the M25.
Have you heard of Reading Festival? It's sort of near that. But not quite.
The correct answer is that it's equidistant between London and Reading (not exactly but it's close enough).
If all else fails, Heathrow Airport is your lifesaver.
"Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!"
We all know the John Betjeman poem from 1937.
Maybe this verse rings a bell?
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
But you don't need to constantly remind us about it. No one finds it funny.
And " Swarm over, Death!" is a bit of a harsh sentiment, don't you think?
I can assure you that Slough is very fit for humans, both then and now!
Wasn't The Office set there?
Yes - yes it was. We're all familiar with the mockumentary sitcom that aired back in 2001.
I will admit I haven't watched it, but David Brent's Slough song does get in your head.
My favourite lyric is "to the West you got Taplow and Bray," because it's factually accurate.
Aside from The Office, there's actually plenty of other films and shows filmed in Slough - try Thunderbirds, London Has Fallen and Maleficent!
If Slough is good enough for Angelina Jolie and Gerard Butler, it's good enough for me.
Telling us it's ugly
This one is harder to defend. But only we're allowed to say it. You're not.
The shopping centre isn't the most aesthetically pleasing, and we could definitely do with some more green spaces.
But that doesn't mean you need to constantly remind us about the concrete jungle of a trading estate we live in.
If you're willing to drive a few minutes outside Slough, you can go to Black Park.
And we've been through a lot of changes in the past few years. Have you not seen our new library? It has a curve in it. A CURVE.
There's nothing to do
We have TWO Nandos. What else do you need?
What we lack in clubs, bars and restaurants, we make up for in our Pets At Home store.
Joking aside, over the past few years, a bunch of new food places have popped up too. Farnham Road now has a ChaiiWala and a Gelatos. The art-deco themed Atlantis Lounge and Restaurant also opened in May at the Holiday Inn Express T5.
Let's not forget our ice rink and new swimming pools which are the envy of the rest of Berkshire, including our rivals in Reading.
Our council has no money
This is a new one, but annoying nonetheless.
You might have heard that Slough Borough Council effectively declared itself bankrupt at the start of July, much to the amusement of some of our neighbours.
We've now become the butt of every joke by Windsor, Maidenhead and West London.
I've already seen enough memes and hurtful comments to last a lifetime.
Does hearing this stuff annoy you too? Let us know in the comments below
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