We love the little hacks and tweaks that can make your home tidier, but the truth is that big change in the way you organize requires ... well, a big change in the way you live. We teamed up with organizing coach Maeve Richmond to get the inside scoop on one of her latest client success stories. Dawn Nadeau is a mom who never thought she'd get her home organized — until she took a long look at not only her stuff, but also herself.
Now and again, everyone faces a big life transition. For me, it was when I lost my father — right around the time I realized my kids were rapidly growing up (funny how that sneaks up on you, huh?). I started to think about how I really wanted to live my day-to-day life. From the clothes on my body to stuff in my home, I wanted to stop perpetuating things that made me feel bad about myself.
Much like Gilligan and his infamous "three hour tour," what I thought might be a quick clean-out extravaganza turned into an epic, six-month journey through the nether reaches of my closets and my psyche. Along the way, I learned many things from Maeve about organization — and more than a few things about myself that changed my relationship with my stuff.
To be clear, I am profoundly grateful for my home, my life, and the circumstances that have brought me to have too much stuff. And yet — it was a lot of stuff. Here's how I waded through it all.
Everything had to go out before I could decide what would come back in.
When we moved into our home eight years ago, I had two little kids and was anxious to just get stuff away. So the temporary homes I gave things eventually became their permanent homes — and it wasn't working.
Maeve convinced me that every single thing had to come out — only then can you be confident that you've processed it all. I'd neglected this step in previous cleaning frenzies. I would purge the top layer of stuff pretty easily, and then "rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic," if you will, in nearly the same way — maybe add some fancy new boxes to contain all the stuff.
But it would always just backlog again. One of Maeve's rules is that nothing goes back the way it was. Every time we cleared out a spot, we ended up changing what lived there — no longer would I let my stuff dictate my actions. Instead, I reimagined each space and I dictated how my stuff would work for me (more on that later).
I gave myself permission to let things go.
This is tough for anyone, but it's a crucial step in regaining control over your stuff.
I was really honest with myself, and resolved to not beat myself up over getting rid of (or donating) things we didn't need — even if they were in good shape. When you start to think of your things as part of an ecosystem for your life, it becomes easier to pare down to only the stuff you really love.
Of course, there was compromise. We came upon a lottery ticket that my father had bought not long before he passed away. I wasn't willing to let it go, but now it hangs on a bulletin board and isn't stuffed in a drawer.
My children's artwork was the hardest. But instead of packing the endless projects away, I used the Artkive app to create digital records of their drawings. And then I put the ones we didn't save in a black garbage bag, took a deep breath, and walked away.
I really took stock of what my day (and week, and month) looked like.
When it comes to decluttering, you can't put the horse before the cart — what works for a friend (or what you've spied on Pinterest) will fail if it doesn't fit into your life.
When I was clearing out my closet, I looked closely at my month. How many school meetings do I have? How often do I go out to dinner? When I figured out what clothes I really needed in my wardrobe (and what was just extra junk) it was really eye-opening.
Maeve and I walked through my daily life, and she'd ask me to pause at important moments. Where would I naturally drop my keys? Or my purse? I changed where items live so they work for how I use them — and fought the urge to store things in places just because they happened to fit there.
I made it a priority to take care of myself.
Frankly, I was 40-year-old and dressing like a 20-year-old. I'd buy the same clothes over and over again because I wasn't ever sure what I owned — or, more importantly, what I really needed. When I cleared out my closet, I had eight garbage bags worth of stuff, and it was a real moment of truth. Really? I care so little about myself that I bought and stored all this veritable junk?
So I gave myself permission to have nice — but way fewer — things. I had two pairs of shoes left when I was done. Now I get them resoled, and they last and last. And now I have one nice black sweater— and it actually holds its shape!
I adjusted my budget to reflect this new mindset, because I'm worth taking care of — and I needed to own up to who I really am. I'm not going to lose those last 10 pounds, or be a person who loves drapey blouses (which I bought plenty of, but never wore). I'm just not. And that's OK.
I bought hangers that matched.
This feels like an indulgence, but it's made such a huge impact on my closet. The tidy, matching hangers remind me that my clothes (and myself) are worth treating well. Plus, now it feels less burdensome to keep my closet neat — as Maeve taught me, if the action is something you're actually willing to do, you will keep up with it.
I let myself be scared after purging 10 years of paper.
I consider myself the CEO of our home, so I was embarrassed that I'd let so much paper pile up. Why did I need all of these credit card bills from years ago? Finally, I bit the bullet and we purged 10 years of paper — I even had a shredding company come! With Maeve, I redid my filing system, which now has "in and out" spots for bills.
I'm so paranoid of going back to how it was, overwhelmed by paper, that I make myself purge monthly now.
I gave myself a drop zone.
As both a mom and an entrepreneur, I toggle between many hats each day — and that means I need a lot of bags, too. So I cleaned out the closet in my entryway and created a "drop zone" — it was one of the single greatest changes I made.
I leave four bags and totes there, and I have this amazing "go drawer." It holds my big wallet, my small wallet, my travel umbrella, my extra phone charger, my six favorite lipsticks — and any other important stuff that would otherwise get strewn all over the place. Now, I feel like I'm in the Amazon warehouse — I pick and pack my bag for the day and go.
I filled my storage spots with things that make me smile.
For instance, Maeve told me to hang pictures in my closet. These nice mementos make places fun to open up and use — for instance, while decluttering we came across a sticker that said "be brave and brilliant," and we decided to stick it in the back of my filing cabinet.
It reminds me to not let it get too packed, and is just an extra little thing that helps honor my quirks and passions. Which brings me to one of the most important points…
I honor who I am.
I learned this lesson in both big and small ways: In the grander scheme of things, I used feel like my clothes and clutter were controlling me, and saying a lot about who I am. Decluttering and organizing, of course, helped me mitigate some of that shame — but now I also refuse to be embarrassed by my stuff. My home is uniquely mine and it truly reflects who I am.
And on a granular level, being honest with myself has turned out to be one of the biggest keys in staying tidy. For example, Maeve was big on not storing stuff on the floor, so we made a place for step stools because I'm short. I have to honor the fact that I am a short person to make my life easier.
I'm able to stay organized because I focus on how it makes me happy.
I've really felt the payoffs of this project, and I never want to go back. I can have people over without playing an epic game of "hide the stuff." I can spend quality time with my girls and husband since I'm not stomping around threatening everyone with a garbage bag. It used to take me so long to unpack from a trip, but now it's so much easier. If the general state of my home is in chaos, I'm in chaos — and I don't want to feel like that again.
Few things flourish if neglected. But thanks to the sense of calm I achieve just by knowing where everything in my home is, I can stay on top of the volume. I recognize bottlenecks when they start, and give myself permission to change a system that is not working. And with that, I've found the keys to being "home at last."
