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Love and Other Impossible Pursuits
In this moving, wry, and candid novel, widely acclaimed novelist Ayelet Waldman takes us through one woman’s passage through love, loss, and the strange absurdities of modern life.Emilia Greenleaf believed that she had found her soulmate, the man she was meant to spend her life with. But life seems a lot less rosy when Emilia has to deal with the most neurotic and sheltered five-year-old in New York her new stepson William. Now Emilia finds herself trying to flag down taxis with a giant, industrial-strength car seat, looking for perfect, strawberry-flavored, lactose-free cupcakes, receiving corrections on her French pronunciation from her supercilious stepson – and attempting to find balance in a new family that’s both larger, and smaller, than she bargained for. In Love and Other Impossible Pursuits Ayelet Waldman has created a novel rich with humor and truth, perfectly characterizing one woman’s search for answers in a crazily uncertain world.
352 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
About the author
Ayelet Waldman
27 books40.4k followersAyelet Waldman is the author of A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life, Love and Treasure, Red Hook Road and The New York Times bestseller Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace. Her novel Love and Other Impossible Pursuits was made into a film starring Natalie Portman. Her personal essays and profiles of such public figures as Hillary Clinton have been published in a wide variety of newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, Vogue, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal. Her radio commentaries have appeared on "All Things Considered" and "The California Report."
You can follow Ayelet on Facebook and Twitter.
Love and Treasure is available for purchase here.
You can follow Ayelet on Facebook and Twitter.
Love and Treasure is available for purchase here.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 539 reviews
September 26, 2007
It's my fault, really. I put this book on my "to read" list a very, very long time ago, well before I was pregnant. When I saw it in the library, I picked it up without reading the jacket, instead remembering that I had once placed it on my list and therefore it must be something that I can read at any time. Wrong.
Pregnant mothers, especially those who have experienced a previous loss, should not read this while pregnant (or immediately after baby's arrival... not that you have time to read then). It deals, heavily, with the sudden death of the main character's daughter shortly after leaving the hospital. It is emotionally draining at times, somewhat frightening and, generally, a hard read for mothers who want to believe that their baby will be okay, no matter what.
Some have written the main character off as whiny. I am nearly certain that those reviewers have never experienced the loss of a child. While she does whine, it is deservedly so at times. Does she take it too far? Does she let it interfere with other relationships? Well, yes. The grief of a mother can be so all-encompassing that it blocks view of everything else. While this is an extreme (fictional!) view of that overwhelming grief, I think more than one mother on this planet has watched a marriage dissolve in light of the death of a child (young or old). Thankfully, this was fiction and things were brought about by the end of the book. All that said, her reactions to others' pregnancies and various other stressors in her life seems, while whiny, quite realistic in light of that grief and loss. (Especially considering she's not receiving any therapy!)
I only gave this book three stars, however, because I read it at the entirely wrong point in my life. It left me stressed out, worrying about the health of our own child on the way in light of our loss last year. I should be better at checking books that have been on my list for awhile before reading them. The three star rating is my own fault but I cannot give it more at this time.
Issues discussed include infant death, SIDS, pregnancy, birth, death, infidelity, divorce, step-parenting, anger, grief, loss, anxiety, depression and brief sexual description.
Pregnant mothers, especially those who have experienced a previous loss, should not read this while pregnant (or immediately after baby's arrival... not that you have time to read then). It deals, heavily, with the sudden death of the main character's daughter shortly after leaving the hospital. It is emotionally draining at times, somewhat frightening and, generally, a hard read for mothers who want to believe that their baby will be okay, no matter what.
Some have written the main character off as whiny. I am nearly certain that those reviewers have never experienced the loss of a child. While she does whine, it is deservedly so at times. Does she take it too far? Does she let it interfere with other relationships? Well, yes. The grief of a mother can be so all-encompassing that it blocks view of everything else. While this is an extreme (fictional!) view of that overwhelming grief, I think more than one mother on this planet has watched a marriage dissolve in light of the death of a child (young or old). Thankfully, this was fiction and things were brought about by the end of the book. All that said, her reactions to others' pregnancies and various other stressors in her life seems, while whiny, quite realistic in light of that grief and loss. (Especially considering she's not receiving any therapy!)
I only gave this book three stars, however, because I read it at the entirely wrong point in my life. It left me stressed out, worrying about the health of our own child on the way in light of our loss last year. I should be better at checking books that have been on my list for awhile before reading them. The three star rating is my own fault but I cannot give it more at this time.
Issues discussed include infant death, SIDS, pregnancy, birth, death, infidelity, divorce, step-parenting, anger, grief, loss, anxiety, depression and brief sexual description.
July 26, 2009
The writing here is unusually strong. I didn't expect to like the story as much as I did. The characterization is outstanding, and when the narrative voice really fits, ring true. Because of point of view, the secondary characters work unusually well. As the reader, you're right with the main character's epiphanies about the others, which worked for me. Even though I haven't been to Central Park, as a metaphor for relationships, whoa.
This would be an interesting book to do for book club, if only ;)
A couple great lines:
"I have fallen in love with him, not with the made hysterical rush of instantaneous, spontaneous passion I felt for his father, but slowly, jolting and creaking along, like a three wheeled cart on a dirt road. I did not tumble down a precipice into this love, I climbed up the side of a rocky crag of Manhattan schist, my fingernails breaking against the rock, my knees scraped and torn, spread-eagled as I searched for toe-holds and fingerholds."
"This love was so hard to recognize, but I have finally been able to to see it for what it is--grace. Grace is when something is more beautiful than we deserve, more elegant and lovely than it should be."
"The gorgeousness of life comes in accidental beauty; it comes in inexplicable grace. Grace, like when a child brings to your life unplanned magic."
If you read it, tell me what you think ;)
This would be an interesting book to do for book club, if only ;)
A couple great lines:
"I have fallen in love with him, not with the made hysterical rush of instantaneous, spontaneous passion I felt for his father, but slowly, jolting and creaking along, like a three wheeled cart on a dirt road. I did not tumble down a precipice into this love, I climbed up the side of a rocky crag of Manhattan schist, my fingernails breaking against the rock, my knees scraped and torn, spread-eagled as I searched for toe-holds and fingerholds."
"This love was so hard to recognize, but I have finally been able to to see it for what it is--grace. Grace is when something is more beautiful than we deserve, more elegant and lovely than it should be."
"The gorgeousness of life comes in accidental beauty; it comes in inexplicable grace. Grace, like when a child brings to your life unplanned magic."
If you read it, tell me what you think ;)
March 28, 2009
This book took me WAY by surprise. It sounded great on the cover, bought it on a whim on the bargain bookshelf, and picked it up on a day when I couldn't stomach even one more minute of pharmacy talk.
The beginning was slow, and I didn't even think I was going to get to the middle - as much as I loathe doing it, I thought it was going to have to be one of those books I just don't ever finish. And then...something happened. Nothing concrete. No huge plot twists or dramas. But I connected with the characters in this really rare way, and found myself reading about their lives in ANY spare moment - while waiting for my computer to reboot, while syncing my phone, while brushing my teeth....
Needless to say, it didn't take long to read, and it was a fantastic (but not 5 stars bc I so disliked the whiny, self-pitying beginning) book with which to spend a couple of rainy afternoon/evenings!
PS - she used the word "precocious" more times than I have ever heard in my entire life combined. Forgiven..but just barely!
The beginning was slow, and I didn't even think I was going to get to the middle - as much as I loathe doing it, I thought it was going to have to be one of those books I just don't ever finish. And then...something happened. Nothing concrete. No huge plot twists or dramas. But I connected with the characters in this really rare way, and found myself reading about their lives in ANY spare moment - while waiting for my computer to reboot, while syncing my phone, while brushing my teeth....
Needless to say, it didn't take long to read, and it was a fantastic (but not 5 stars bc I so disliked the whiny, self-pitying beginning) book with which to spend a couple of rainy afternoon/evenings!
PS - she used the word "precocious" more times than I have ever heard in my entire life combined. Forgiven..but just barely!
January 25, 2009
I picked this up because my book club is reading it, but I was thoroughly unmotivated to finish it. After reading the first two chapters I read the last chapter and felt no need to read anything in between.
This book reminded me of The Nanny Diary and the Bridget Jones books in as much as it asked me to feel sympathetic towards a narrator I had no reason to feel sympathy for. The narrator came across as shallow, self-pitying and no one I would care to have a conversation with, let alone follow along with for the length of the book. On top of that, the writing was poor and did nothing to entice me to continue reading. Definately one to skip...
This book reminded me of The Nanny Diary and the Bridget Jones books in as much as it asked me to feel sympathetic towards a narrator I had no reason to feel sympathy for. The narrator came across as shallow, self-pitying and no one I would care to have a conversation with, let alone follow along with for the length of the book. On top of that, the writing was poor and did nothing to entice me to continue reading. Definately one to skip...
November 10, 2014
Beautifully written story about the difficulties surrounding being a step-parent. Not only did Emilia have to struggle to find her place in her new family, but she also endured one of the most horrible things a parent could ever experience - the loss of a child. I was very nearly in tears off and on throughout this work of art. I look forward to reading more of Ayelet Waldman's books.
August 27, 2010
I go back and forth a lot with this one. Waldman does something very interesting in this book and I;m still not sure how I feel about it, and for that I give her a bonus star for what was otherwise a pretty badly written story.
LAOIP is about a lawyer named Emilia who falls madly, desperately in love with Jack, a nice Jewish lawyer who -whoops - happens to be married. Jack resists until he can't anymore and they end up together. Cliche.
Interesting, not cliche aspects that I appreciated:
1 - The idea of telling a story from the mistress POV such that the seemingly witchy ex wife is cast as both a villain yet also remarkably sympathetic
2 - Emilia really can't stand her stepson (I love that)
3 - What was three? I forget. There was something, though.
So I dig this, in theory - I like that we are asked to see a home wrecker as someone who is in fact struggling to make a complicated situation work. Yet, at the end of the day, she IS a home wrecker and so there was little likability there.
In addition, Jack has got to be the flattest character ever. For all that he is Mr. Fabulous, Mr. Throw Out Your Morals and Start Seducing, he is simpering, weak, and overly perfect. Blech.
The book picks up with occasional fantastic lines and also some great insight, as well as turbulence with the happy couple that rang quite true. The problem was that I found myself rooting for them to not work out, for the issues seemed to far outweigh what drew them together, ie, animal magnetism and Emilia's cop out, justification insistence that Jack is her bashert (soul mate) and therefore Gd himself would want the adultery to happen.
I appreciated that Waldman took on heady tasks, and I appreciate that that stepson sure was super annoying. The realness was refreshing. But the characters didn't do much for me and I just wasn't sure that at the end of the day it's ever ok to root for the home wrecker, no matter how much I appreciate literary twists.
LAOIP is about a lawyer named Emilia who falls madly, desperately in love with Jack, a nice Jewish lawyer who -whoops - happens to be married. Jack resists until he can't anymore and they end up together. Cliche.
Interesting, not cliche aspects that I appreciated:
1 - The idea of telling a story from the mistress POV such that the seemingly witchy ex wife is cast as both a villain yet also remarkably sympathetic
2 - Emilia really can't stand her stepson (I love that)
3 - What was three? I forget. There was something, though.
So I dig this, in theory - I like that we are asked to see a home wrecker as someone who is in fact struggling to make a complicated situation work. Yet, at the end of the day, she IS a home wrecker and so there was little likability there.
In addition, Jack has got to be the flattest character ever. For all that he is Mr. Fabulous, Mr. Throw Out Your Morals and Start Seducing, he is simpering, weak, and overly perfect. Blech.
The book picks up with occasional fantastic lines and also some great insight, as well as turbulence with the happy couple that rang quite true. The problem was that I found myself rooting for them to not work out, for the issues seemed to far outweigh what drew them together, ie, animal magnetism and Emilia's cop out, justification insistence that Jack is her bashert (soul mate) and therefore Gd himself would want the adultery to happen.
I appreciated that Waldman took on heady tasks, and I appreciate that that stepson sure was super annoying. The realness was refreshing. But the characters didn't do much for me and I just wasn't sure that at the end of the day it's ever ok to root for the home wrecker, no matter how much I appreciate literary twists.
August 20, 2014
I am sure that many will love Emilia. I found her to be selfish and despicable. She seems to. Revel in the fact that she fell "in love with" a married man and sets out to seduce him at any costs. That she then dislikes his preschool aged son and treats him with thinly veiled contempt and seems to somehow feels herself superior to his mother, because the mother uses a nanny is just too much for me to take. This book is well paced and disliking a character has not precluded me from enjoying some books but this woman is almost every cliche of an opportunistic mistress and I cannot finish this book.
I strongly disliked Emilia it was nice to see Carolyn have an opportunity to confront her at least once.
I strongly disliked Emilia it was nice to see Carolyn have an opportunity to confront her at least once.
March 18, 2008
This book (by Ayelet Waldman, wife of Michael Chabon who wrote Kavalier & Klay) was a page turner, however, I cant remember despising a main character so much in a long time. What a selfish woman! I did enjoy the new york-centric storytelling, esp. about intricacies of Central Park. I just disliked the character so much it ruined it for me in the end.
August 19, 2011
Another semi-random library choice, "Love and Other Impossible Pursuits" by Ayelet Waldman served in part as an exercise in voyeurism: I just wanted to see if Michael Chabon's wife was as gifted a writer as he. The answer to that is a resounding NO, but she's not exactly talentless, either. Despite an endorsement from Sherman Alexie on the jacket blurb, this book falls squarely in the realm of "chick lit", or, more precisely, "depressing snooty-chick lit replete with an ample dose of infidelity and emotional hand-wringing". Ugh.
It's a cop-out to entirely dismiss a book solely because its characters are unrelatable (for instance, I doubt anyone can relate at all to homicidal maniac/socialite Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho", but that hasn't stopped many readers (not this one, mind you) from enjoying that novel.) Ms. Waldman's protagonist Emilia Greenleaf Wolfe, is terribly unrelatable to me, despite the author's best intentions. Told in the first person by Emilia, the story recounts her marital troubles subsequent to the loss of her 2-day-old daughter, and her attempt at reconciliation via winning over her precocious 5 year-old stepson. If it wasn't for this loss, I don't think I'd feel any emotion whatsoever for Emilia, who is so annoyingly self-absorbed the story borders on farce instead of the gut-wrenching weepie Ms. Waldman clearly intends. Oh, and speaking of Patrick Bateman, I've not, since reading "American Psycho" or watching Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex & the City" seen so many high-end product and retailer references cited, from Dean & Delucca to Barney's, from $2000 Bugaboo strollers to equally-priced Mahnolo Blahnik (sp?) pumps, from Eames chairs to dairy-free cakes at Le Pain Quoditien. Yeah, Emilia lives life sans souci...a wealthy Pseudo-Jewish Central Park-adjacent life of ease...and for this reason (and because of her relationship itself with her husband a product of infidelity against her husband's first wife) I found it impossible to afford so much as a sympathetic thought, or shed so much as a single tear for this woman.
I probably wouldn't mind reading some of her other stuff IF she'd write about other topics besides marital infidelity; her style is writing is breezy but not watered down. As chick-lit goes, it's perfectly okay, but as random reading fare for this non-chick, i found it almost entirely insufferable. Blecch.
It's a cop-out to entirely dismiss a book solely because its characters are unrelatable (for instance, I doubt anyone can relate at all to homicidal maniac/socialite Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho", but that hasn't stopped many readers (not this one, mind you) from enjoying that novel.) Ms. Waldman's protagonist Emilia Greenleaf Wolfe, is terribly unrelatable to me, despite the author's best intentions. Told in the first person by Emilia, the story recounts her marital troubles subsequent to the loss of her 2-day-old daughter, and her attempt at reconciliation via winning over her precocious 5 year-old stepson. If it wasn't for this loss, I don't think I'd feel any emotion whatsoever for Emilia, who is so annoyingly self-absorbed the story borders on farce instead of the gut-wrenching weepie Ms. Waldman clearly intends. Oh, and speaking of Patrick Bateman, I've not, since reading "American Psycho" or watching Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex & the City" seen so many high-end product and retailer references cited, from Dean & Delucca to Barney's, from $2000 Bugaboo strollers to equally-priced Mahnolo Blahnik (sp?) pumps, from Eames chairs to dairy-free cakes at Le Pain Quoditien. Yeah, Emilia lives life sans souci...a wealthy Pseudo-Jewish Central Park-adjacent life of ease...and for this reason (and because of her relationship itself with her husband a product of infidelity against her husband's first wife) I found it impossible to afford so much as a sympathetic thought, or shed so much as a single tear for this woman.
I probably wouldn't mind reading some of her other stuff IF she'd write about other topics besides marital infidelity; her style is writing is breezy but not watered down. As chick-lit goes, it's perfectly okay, but as random reading fare for this non-chick, i found it almost entirely insufferable. Blecch.
January 27, 2011
Welllllll...
The character isn't terribly likable, but that isn't fair as she just lost her daughter. A two day old child. Grief is a powerful, life changing thing.
I couldn't put the book down, reading it in two days. I had to know what happened next, would her marriage survive, would she have another kid, could Carolyn be anymore of a bitch? But, I didn't love it. It wraps up too neatly, too cute for me.
Halfway through reading this, I thought i should read more books with female protagonists but then had a hard time naming a book in which I actually liked the female lead. And does this make me a horrible woman? Waldman is a lovely writer, capturing the New York I know, the voice of a woman trying to be a mother, stepmother. Emilia is very real- but something was just off for me.
I had read some previous reviews on goodreads, of women who had young children and then read this book. I think there is something to be said about the timing. Emilia pursues a married man, with a son. I'm just 9 months married- I can't begin to imagine how having a child changes marriage, but I do know what my young marriage means to me. And while it takes two to become involved, Emilia quite actively pursued him, becoming quite unlikeable in my eyes, no matter the turns of events in her life.
The character isn't terribly likable, but that isn't fair as she just lost her daughter. A two day old child. Grief is a powerful, life changing thing.
I couldn't put the book down, reading it in two days. I had to know what happened next, would her marriage survive, would she have another kid, could Carolyn be anymore of a bitch? But, I didn't love it. It wraps up too neatly, too cute for me.
Halfway through reading this, I thought i should read more books with female protagonists but then had a hard time naming a book in which I actually liked the female lead. And does this make me a horrible woman? Waldman is a lovely writer, capturing the New York I know, the voice of a woman trying to be a mother, stepmother. Emilia is very real- but something was just off for me.
I had read some previous reviews on goodreads, of women who had young children and then read this book. I think there is something to be said about the timing. Emilia pursues a married man, with a son. I'm just 9 months married- I can't begin to imagine how having a child changes marriage, but I do know what my young marriage means to me. And while it takes two to become involved, Emilia quite actively pursued him, becoming quite unlikeable in my eyes, no matter the turns of events in her life.
October 4, 2012
I am not a reader of misery molly type women's fiction usually- there is enough real tragedy in the world to be read in The New York Times (are you listening, Jodi Picoult?), but I've been on an Ayelet Waldman kick lately, and reading her memoirs made me want to read this. It is an irritating and depressing story(terribly sad, the domino event being the death of a newborn), with characters so flawed as to be *almost* insufferable. And yet...I cannot put it down. It's like when you turn to the lifetime movie channel between commercials and suddenly its 3am and you've watched Kelli Martin solve 12 mysteries all the while dealing with an eating disorder and multiple personalities and oh my god where did the time go?!? Anyway, Waldman is a good, compelling writer even with such subject matter, more so writing this than the fluffy mystery series, though having read the range, I think I prefer her nonfiction.
June 10, 2009
Despite the many, many problems I had with this book, I ultimately enjoyed it. A lot of people have written the main character, Emilia, as whiny and self-pitying - and she is, and she admits it. But I don't think it's too far off considering she'd lost a child and blames herself heavily for the loss. I did enjoy watching her warm up to William, her stepson, and I really liked the tours of Central Park that Waldman took us on. I did not like that the ex-wife and the father were rather two-dimensional villains, and yet, I did not want them to be redeemed at the end. I also felt that it was a little contrived for Emilia to realize that she loves William just as her marriage is about to fall apart. Yet, like I said, despite its flaws I really enjoyed the book - it was a quick and entertaining read and still a touching portrait of a mother's loss - and gain.
June 14, 2007
This is a very funny, poignant and moving book about the loss of a baby and the developing relationship with a step-child. Sad and compellingly funny, a good sense of the narrator; twist of Freudian psychology seems a bit forced, but otherwise this is a modern NYC based book which is a lovesong to Central Park. The city itself plays a clear role as a character in the story.
January 22, 2011
I did not like this book and found myself wanting to just skip ahead to see what happened and not wasting my time reading it.
It was just... boring.
It was just... boring.
June 4, 2011
Tried, but couldn't finish this one. Such hateable characters!
July 4, 2019
I absolutely love this book.
March 11, 2015
Por la sinopsis, pensé que sería algo triste y divertido. Que Emilia intentaría ganarse el amor de William (su hijastro de cinco años) de forma honesta y que en el camino ella terminaría queriéndolo. Todo un cuento de hadas, digamos. Emilia no me gusta. No estoy juzgando, no me justifico en que ella se enredara con un hombre casado, porque eso sería una tontería, lo único que me faltaría sería tirarle piedras. No, no me gusta Emilia. Me da ASCO. Es su actitud, es su forma de ser y de tratar a la gente, es su forma de pensar. La forma en que piensa sobre William, sobre otros bebés, sobre sus padres, sobre Jack. Todo, me repugna esta mujer.
Creo que no soy la única, así que dejo que hable el mismo libro:
Pensé que sería un libro de duelo, sobre perder un hijo y odiar la vida por esa injusticia. Pero acá Isabel no es importante, siempre fue Emilia, Emilia que nunca quiso crecer ni madurar. Emilia que no pensó en el daño que le estaba haciendo a William con su desprecio poco simulado. Emilia que presionó a Jack para iniciar algo para lo que no estaba preparado.
Yo sé que Jack ama a su hijo, habrá sido un infiel y deshonesto marido. Pero siempre quiso lo mejor para William. Siempre. Y él quería/quiere a Emilia y le dio su oportunidad. Pero fue débil la primera vez cuando un espacio de tiempo lo hubiera hecho reflexionar mejor sobre lo que se estaba metiendo. Tiempo para ver cómo afectaba a su hijo el que iniciara de lleno otra relación. Tendría que haber puesto desde el principio primero a William y no a Emilia, y creo que al final lo hace. Y creo que al final vuelve a recordar porqué se enamoró de Emilia la primera vez y por eso no me gustó.
Yo hubiera bailado de alegría si hubiera terminado como una infeliz.
Miraré la película, capaz que sin los pensamientos de ella en primer plano, resulta tragable.
Creo que no soy la única, así que dejo que hable el mismo libro:
Pensé que sería un libro de duelo, sobre perder un hijo y odiar la vida por esa injusticia. Pero acá Isabel no es importante, siempre fue Emilia, Emilia que nunca quiso crecer ni madurar. Emilia que no pensó en el daño que le estaba haciendo a William con su desprecio poco simulado. Emilia que presionó a Jack para iniciar algo para lo que no estaba preparado.
Yo sé que Jack ama a su hijo, habrá sido un infiel y deshonesto marido. Pero siempre quiso lo mejor para William. Siempre. Y él quería/quiere a Emilia y le dio su oportunidad. Pero fue débil la primera vez cuando un espacio de tiempo lo hubiera hecho reflexionar mejor sobre lo que se estaba metiendo. Tiempo para ver cómo afectaba a su hijo el que iniciara de lleno otra relación. Tendría que haber puesto desde el principio primero a William y no a Emilia, y creo que al final lo hace. Y creo que al final vuelve a recordar porqué se enamoró de Emilia la primera vez y por eso no me gustó.
Yo hubiera bailado de alegría si hubiera terminado como una infeliz.
Miraré la película, capaz que sin los pensamientos de ella en primer plano, resulta tragable.
June 13, 2013
Este é daqueles livros que, à primeira vista, pode suscitar uma "avaliação" menos correcta. Um título algo lamechas, uma capa que é uma mistura de romance e ternura e pensar-se-ia que estaríamos perante uma daquelas obras para para desanuviar de leituras mais densas ou das coisas "aborrecidas" da vida. Nada mais errado...
Inicialmente, o livro é escrito duma forma melodiosa e também cativante, até porque escrever sobre a morte de um filho será tudo menos fácil. Depois é-nos revelado o lado mais sarcástico, mais "negro" de cada umas das personagens. E de outra forma não seria ou não fossem as relações humanas revestidas dessa faceta. Aqui, além do lidar-se com a perda dum filho, lida-se também com a má relação, enquanto filha, com o seu próprio progenitor. Digamos que o contexto em que o livro está desenvolvido apela a tudo menos a uma leitura cor-de-rosa, embora previsível no seu final.
As Coisas Impossíveis do Amor é um livro que aborda, de forma brutalmente honesta, a vivência da mulher que, tão de repente, se vê como madrasta (nem sempre é fácil...) como logo depois tem que lidar com a morte da seu própria filha. E que poderia ser baseado num qualquer caso real. Pense-se só na "mistura" das duas situações e o conflito emocional que daí pode surgir...
Foi um livro que me despertou sentimentos díspares... De leitura compulsiva, pungente, pode permitir exorcizar os próprios males ao ponto de "odiar" a leitura, da mesma forma que se a pode amar, se pensarmos no lado bonito e menos "pesado" da relação familiar. Tanto pela forma directa e concisa como está escrito como pela identificação com a temática. Por isso é que julgo não ser aconselhável a pessoas que passaram recentemente por experiência similar. Por outro lado, penso que se adeque mais a pessoas com a maturidade emocional e/ou vivência pessoal suficientes para poderem entender a "dureza" do que aqui é relatado mas, repito, com o devido distanciamento temporal...
Inicialmente, o livro é escrito duma forma melodiosa e também cativante, até porque escrever sobre a morte de um filho será tudo menos fácil. Depois é-nos revelado o lado mais sarcástico, mais "negro" de cada umas das personagens. E de outra forma não seria ou não fossem as relações humanas revestidas dessa faceta. Aqui, além do lidar-se com a perda dum filho, lida-se também com a má relação, enquanto filha, com o seu próprio progenitor. Digamos que o contexto em que o livro está desenvolvido apela a tudo menos a uma leitura cor-de-rosa, embora previsível no seu final.
As Coisas Impossíveis do Amor é um livro que aborda, de forma brutalmente honesta, a vivência da mulher que, tão de repente, se vê como madrasta (nem sempre é fácil...) como logo depois tem que lidar com a morte da seu própria filha. E que poderia ser baseado num qualquer caso real. Pense-se só na "mistura" das duas situações e o conflito emocional que daí pode surgir...
Foi um livro que me despertou sentimentos díspares... De leitura compulsiva, pungente, pode permitir exorcizar os próprios males ao ponto de "odiar" a leitura, da mesma forma que se a pode amar, se pensarmos no lado bonito e menos "pesado" da relação familiar. Tanto pela forma directa e concisa como está escrito como pela identificação com a temática. Por isso é que julgo não ser aconselhável a pessoas que passaram recentemente por experiência similar. Por outro lado, penso que se adeque mais a pessoas com a maturidade emocional e/ou vivência pessoal suficientes para poderem entender a "dureza" do que aqui é relatado mas, repito, com o devido distanciamento temporal...
May 14, 2018
At first I hated this book; actually I hated it for about four-fifths of the book. I couldn't stand the main character Emilia, I didn't even feel much sympathy for her loss which normally I would be heartbroken by. And I didn't appreciate her digs against Orthodox Judaism, even her epiphany at the end had to do with laying waste to the Jewish concept of bashert. No Orthodox individual would endorse infidelity and breaking up a marriage because you think someone is your bashert.
At the end Emilia starts acting like an adult.
So, synopsis: Emilia breaks up the marriage of Jack and Carolyn. Their child William is just three years old and is caught in the disaster Emilia and Jack have created in his world. Jack and Emilia marry and she has a baby girl who dies at two days old. Emilia, understandably, is now like a crazy person. I know grief is ugly, it comes out in angry and bitter behavior. Still, it is hard to like her, and nearly no one does, including her husband at times. William is actually the one who acts with the most compassion. William was always my very favorite character.
At the end Emilia starts acting like an adult.
So, synopsis: Emilia breaks up the marriage of Jack and Carolyn. Their child William is just three years old and is caught in the disaster Emilia and Jack have created in his world. Jack and Emilia marry and she has a baby girl who dies at two days old. Emilia, understandably, is now like a crazy person. I know grief is ugly, it comes out in angry and bitter behavior. Still, it is hard to like her, and nearly no one does, including her husband at times. William is actually the one who acts with the most compassion. William was always my very favorite character.
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February 5, 2009A few critics drew parallels between Emilia's life and the author's own; after all, Waldman achieved some sort of fame last year after she publicly announced that she loved her husband, novelist Michael Chabon, more than her four children. Alter-ego or not, Emilia and her evolving relationship with William take center stage here. But while some critics saw Emilia as narcissistic and wallowing in self-pity, others viewed her as a witty, resilient woman honest with her foibles. Critics similarly split over the characterization of William. A predictable plot, some stilted writing, and a tidy ending caused some displeasure, but the general consensus was that Waldman's heartfelt novel says something new about the expectations of women__and of oneself.
This is an excerpt from a review published in Bookmarks magazine.
December 22, 2010
I actually regret reading this book. It's not often that an author allows themselves to dwell on an incredibly depressing topic for such a large portion of a book. I couldn't believe my eyes when I got to page 98 only to read a detailed account of the baby's death. I mean, I got it in the first chapter when the stepmom couldn't stand to see strollers! No need to beat me over the head with it. And what up with the detailed adulterous sex and breast-feeding scenes... come on! And since when are posh, neurotic New Yorkers likeable? There were some redeeming qualities to this book. I liked the stepson, William, and some of the family relationships were cute and rang true. I did not, however, think that the main character was funny, even when she repeatedly told us she was. Basically, thanks book, for making me feel like crap after having read you.
April 1, 2009
I haven't read any of Waldman's MommyTrack series so this author was new to me. I was impressed. As Emelia suffers through the devastating loss of her child, Walman had me right there with her. She avoids playgrounds and can barely stand to be around her step-son, William. Normally, I don't like books about affairs and am on the side of the ex-wife, but, despite Emilia's flaws, I wanted to read about her. Reading about Central Park and about the way her relationship with William developed was absorbing. I loved the way he didn't censor himself, like the adults, but asked frank questions about his dead baby sister. The characters in this book were not perfect, but they were so real it hurt.
June 24, 2009
Wow- Fantastic book. Emilia is selfish, guilty & mourning the death of her 1 day old daughter, Isabel. She makes lots of painful mistakes, hurting the ones who love her the most, her mother, husband, and stepson but she is human and tries to be honest. When confronted by the truth of her actions, she owns up to it and is willing to learn the truth about herself. Emilia, while not likeable, is loveable with all her flaws. This is Ms. Walden's best piece of fiction yet, although I can't wait to finish the rest of her body of work.
I'm happy to have read this before the movie comes out...I believe Natalie Portman has signed on to play Emilia...I LOVE her. I hope the screenplay includes lots of narrative and doesn't lose to much in translation.
I'm happy to have read this before the movie comes out...I believe Natalie Portman has signed on to play Emilia...I LOVE her. I hope the screenplay includes lots of narrative and doesn't lose to much in translation.
September 2, 2014
The audio version is well done, but after disc one I quit. There probably is a story here but for me the crude incidences that are included, as they do not seem relevant, detract immeasurably from whatever story is here. Why do we have to hear, 'When I want to give my husband a blow job." Or that she has the greatest love she could ever imagine which all started when she "f**ked him in his office". Then there is a rant about how she would never date a married man, how if he was unfaithful to his first wife he will be unfaithful again ... and this never went anywhere. She was so in love she did him in his office and that was the start of their great love despite the fact that he was married. Gag me with a spoon.
August 27, 2015
This book was outrageously unrealistic for several reasons, but the one that really took the cake was the rival ex-wife pulling the autopsy record of the protagonist's daughter. Seriously? And William just did not ring true. In addition to having an intensely unlikeable main character, the adults in this book just make you want to strangle someone: two shrewish, hysterical women circle around a patient, good looking, successful, weary man who "manages them" (his words) to the best of his tolerance. No thanks.
August 25, 2011
only really made it 20 pages in before i realized it wasnt all taht great and if i had to read another page of this i was going to go more insane..
August 26, 2016
Oh, how I hated this book. I felt so sorry for the little boy, while thinking the whole time that pretty much all the adults needed to be shot out of a cannon into the sun.
May 22, 2014
Seemed kind of condescending.
July 17, 2018
I'm rounding this up a bit because I did enjoy it. Despite being a bit over-written and a bit over-performed on CD and despite the main character Amelia being accurately (in the words of her patient and wiser older stepsister) "immature and self-centered" and despite doing bone-headed things involving her preschool aged stepson over and over again, I found myself cheering for her.
I could have smacked her a couple times, but she was coping with an angry former wife who was over protective of the boy and had made him nervous about any food item with dairy in it, of doing anything physical without a helmet and other such fearful events. And Amelia was mourning the death of her infant daughter.
And coping with the separation of her own parents. And general exasperated advice from an older stepsister.
It ended up a bit too pat and sweet, but I still finished it in a couple days, mostly while sitting on the screen porch, embroidering a height chart for Evie who will be one year old in a month.
I could have smacked her a couple times, but she was coping with an angry former wife who was over protective of the boy and had made him nervous about any food item with dairy in it, of doing anything physical without a helmet and other such fearful events. And Amelia was mourning the death of her infant daughter.
And coping with the separation of her own parents. And general exasperated advice from an older stepsister.
It ended up a bit too pat and sweet, but I still finished it in a couple days, mostly while sitting on the screen porch, embroidering a height chart for Evie who will be one year old in a month.
June 11, 2018
One of the most beautifully written books I've read so far.
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