Do you believe in "dressing your age"?
I do, actually. But everybody's age is different, and by that I mean that even when you're a certain age, it's all a matter of how you present yourself, how old your spirit is, and where you are in your life. Some 50-year-olds are still 35. It's about expression and what they can pull off.
What's something you refuse to wear at 43 (or ever)?
I'm definitely not doing tube tops. No way.
What is the most ridiculous rumor you've ever heard about yourself?
That I wash my face with Evian water only. Who knows what that was all about?
Who are some older women you most admire?
Gloria Steinem is one of the great feminist examples of a woman doing it her way. Jane Fonda has also always been somebody who puts herself out there in a very honest way. I appreciate that. We have so many great examples in Hollywood, from Meryl Streep to Helen Mirren. They walk such a fine line between giving everybody what they want and not sacrificing themselves for it.
What's your favorite tradition with friends?
We do a girls'-night dinner once a month in whatever city the bulk of us happens to be in, usually New York or L.A. We have an e-mail chain and kind of hone in on who's going to be where. It's like, "So-and-so is going to be in New York? Oh, great, so is so-and-so." We pick a new restaurant every time, and we like an early-bird special—we all want to eat at 6 P.M. and be done by 8 so that everyone can go home and get some sleep.
What's something new you've tried after 40 that you never thought you would?
I got married last year. That was the biggest thing I've done in my 40s, and it opened me up in different ways. It's pretty awesome. I didn't think it was something I'd do, and I don't know if I'd have done it if I hadn't met my husband [Benji Madden]. It was a surprise.
What's your mantra?
I'm not supposed to share my mantra. Just kidding—meditation joke. "Do the best you can."
What is the biggest realization you've had about yourself after turning 40?
That as you get older, your body changes in so many little ways. It doesn't react the same way that it used to. I don't get the results that I used to as easily as I once did. Now I look at myself and I realize, "Oh, right. I'm in this time now in my life where I have to be thoughtful. If I slack off, things don't come back so easily. I have to be committed." In part that's what my new book, The Longevity Book, is about. But just like everybody else, I'm more and less disciplined at various times based on what's going on in my life.
Which trend has enjoyed too much longevity?
Social media is great for a lot of things but not as a substitute for actual human connection. We need more actual human contact with one another. And less screen time.
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Romy Oltuski is a writer and editor based in New York. Her work appears in The New York Times, Forbes, Harper’s Bazaar, InStyle, and The Cut.
