When I was young, no one told me I was beautiful. I was a very tall girl, and I grew up in Yongzhou, China. It’s a city, but it’s not a major one. I dressed more like a tomboy in very slouchy clothing. I was very humble because I didn’t think of myself as beautiful. It wasn’t something I even thought about.
In my generation, everyone thought double eyelids were beautiful, and I didn’t have that. I have single eyelids, or monolids. But I also did not do surgery. I did my own thing. When the opportunity for modeling came up, it was my mom who encouraged me to try it out so I could travel and see the world. She has always been such a positive person, and she has a kind heart. She’s the one who taught me: Just go try. If you fail, no problem; you can start again.
My job taught me how to be beautiful. It’s not just about how you look. People assume modeling is about being thin and pretty, but it’s about, how can you express yourself? Can you radiate strength and confidence? Personality is most important. The camera can capture all of that. But no one can control their beauty. I think of myself like a sea sponge—I’m absorbing everything beautiful in my life, and that can come from anywhere and everyday life. It can be architecture, which is a new love of mine. It can also be in moments of time. Usually I only stay with my parents for maybe 10 days a year. But during quarantine I stayed with them for 45 days. There was nothing to do! We started putting together Lego sets at home. I always thought Legos were for young kids, and often when I’m working I just want to go home and not do anything. But this time we spent together, doing Legos, I was able to get this really close connection with them again.
Usually I’m in New York, but because of the virus I’ve been in China for over a year already. I see the young girls here are very fashionable. It’s probably because of social media. They really know what they want, and are very confident and independent. The new generation of parents here are also so open-minded, so they let the kids do what they want to do. This all builds into the current definition of beauty. Beauty is like fashion; it changes. Maybe big lips are popular now, but maybe next year another fashion is coming.
The longer I work, the more I see that beauty has to be different. My first Fashion Week was in Europe in 2008. There were only maybe one or two girls of color in each show. Now you see so many body types and such unique types of beauty on the runway. If all the beauty looks the same, it’s not interesting. We just have to be ourselves.
Hair: Youhua Xu; Makeup: Yooyo Keong ming; Art Direction: Fuwafuwa Studio; Production: Adam Chen and Lu Cai; Set Design and Prop Styling: Yuan Bei, Shujie Chai, and Tong Zhang.
