What Does It Mean To Be Bisexual?

Bisexuality, which is the "B" in LGBTQ+, is a sexual identity for people who are emotionally or sexually attracted to more than one gender. Bisexual people are not only attracted to men and women. You might be bisexual and attracted to transgender people and non-binary folks.

There are several misconceptions about bisexuality, even though bisexual people make up most of the LGBTQ+ community. Some people describe bisexuality as a temporary phase before a person comes out as gay or lesbian, for example, but bisexuality is a real identity. Read on to learn about bisexuality and how to support bisexual people.

What Does Bisexual Mean?

Bisexual, or "bi," is an umbrella term for people who are emotionally or sexually attracted to more than one gender. Bisexual people can experience those attractions in different ways and varying degrees during their lives. You do not need to have had specific sexual experiences—or, for that matter, any sexual experiences at all—to identify as bisexual.

Bisexuality is not a completely understood identity, even with this definition available. Bisexuality does not mean that you must have a partner of each gender to be emotionally or sexually satisfied. Bisexual people are not more likely to be sexually active or unfaithful to their partners.

Is Bisexuality Binary?

A misconception about bisexuality is that a person cannot know they are bisexual unless they have been intimate with a man and a woman, Jo Eckler, PsyD, a psychologist based in Texas, told Health. Bisexuality, however, is not limited to the binary genders of men and women.

"Bisexual people are attracted to people of the same gender and of other genders, including transgender people," said Eckler. Bisexual people ultimately can love and be attracted to people of all genders.

"Our society is still very binary in regard to gender and sexual orientation. So much of those definitions are based on what you don't like or what you are not," said Eckler. Bisexuality, in other words, is misunderstood based on how others perceive it.

"If someone has a binary attraction and worldview, it can be difficult for them to imagine and trust how someone could be attracted to more genders because that's a nonbinary way of experiencing the world," said Eckler.

Common Misconceptions 

There are several misconceptions about bisexuality, which persist due to biphobia and a lack of accurate and positive representations of bisexual people in media. Biphobia is "anti-bisexual discrimination." Research has shown that biphobia plays a negative role in the mental and physical well-being of bisexual people.

Bisexual People Are Hypersexual

A common misconception is that bisexual people are more promiscuous than others and are unable to commit to a monogamous relationship. It does not help that the media often talks about bisexual people based on stereotypes.

"People in straight and gay and lesbian communities can feel that bisexual people aren't trustworthy and thus won't consider dating them," said Eckler.

Being attracted to more than one gender does not make you more promiscuous than others. You can be in a committed relationship, regardless of your sexual identity.

Bisexuality Is Not Real

People who identify as bisexual can experience what's known as "bisexual erasure," Kristen Martinez, LMHCA, a counselor based in Washington, told Health. People might assume that you are straight if you have a partner of the opposite gender or gay or lesbian with a partner of the same gender.

Bisexual people may not feel completely accepted even within the LGBTQ+ community. You might feel pressure to "pick a side" and come out as gay, lesbian, or straight, said Eckler. A lack of support can make bisexual people feel isolated.

"Conversations about LGBTQ+ rights sometimes gloss over the letter 'B,' not mentioning the needs of the bisexual community," said Eckler. "Bisexual people who are in monogamous relationships with someone of another gender, such as a woman married to a man, are sometimes viewed as 'not really bisexual' or 'not really LGBTQ+.'"

Bisexuality Is a Phase

Some people may assume that bisexuality is "just a phase," said Martinez: "Male-identified bisexuals, in particular, may experience the uncomfortable intersection of homophobia from potential female-identified partners. Female-identified bisexuals may tend to be hypersexualized due to cultural forces of sexism and misogyny."

Helping Other People Understand Bisexuality

Society must understand and affirm bisexuality to accept and understand sexuality as a spectrum and not a binary. Try educating yourself about bisexuality and other sexual identities. The more you know about bisexual people and the issues they face, the more aware you may become about how to support them.

"The more we lift up and validate identities such as bisexuality, the safer people feel identifying with these terms," said Martinez. "The more space we each have as individuals in a culture where more nuanced views of sexuality and sexual and romantic orientation are held."

Start with resources from the American Psychological Association (APA). Those resources highlight information about bisexual people and organizations that support the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.

How To Support Someone Who's Bisexual

Some of the best things you can do for your loved ones who are bisexual are to listen to them and validate their identity. Affirming that bisexuality exists and it's not simply a phase helps push back against bisexual erasure and other misconceptions.

Other ways to support the bisexual community include:

• Do not assume a person's sexuality based on who their partners are.
• Make your spaces, including school and work, inclusive to bi folks.
• Read up on bisexuality, including challenges within the community.
• Speak up against biphobia.
• Support underrepresented, marginalized folks within the bi community, including Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC) voices.
• Use inclusive language.

A Quick Review

Bisexual is emotional or sexual attraction to more than one gender. Bisexuality is not completely understood, and bisexual people often face many challenges as a result.

Some people assume that bisexuality is a phase, an idea that can negatively affect your mental and physical well-being if you are bisexual. It's important to understand what bisexuality is and accept sexuality as a spectrum so bisexual folks can feel safe in their identities.