Futurama (TV Series)

The Lesser of Two Evils (2000)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Smitty, Zapp Brannigan, Additional Voices

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fry : Whoa, whoa, wait a second. You mean Bender was the evil Bender? I am shocked! Shocked! Well, not that shocked.

• Leela : Space bandidos have been operating in this quadrant so you'll each take 8-hour shifts guarding the safe. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

  Fry : Wait, hold on. I don't like the sound of that. Let's just go alphabetically.

  Leela : OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

  Fry : Wait, let's go by rank.

  Leela : OK. First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry.

  Fry : Flexo outranks me?

  Flexo : That's "Flexo outranks me, sir"!

• Leela : I came so close to having that tiara.

  Bender : Me too...

  Fry : Well you two may be losers, but I just made out with that Radiator girl from the Radiator planet.

  Leela : Fry, that was a radiator.

  Fry : [pause]  Is there a burn ward within 10 feet of here?

• [At a robot strip club] 

  Bender : Hubba-hubba! She is built. In Mexico, I believe.

  Flexo : And that ain't silicone, either. That's tungsten, and plenty of it.

  Fry : Uh, yeah. Look at that... exhaust fan.

  Flexo , Bender : Eww!

  Bender : Pervert.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Everyone into bed with me. I have something to show you. Feast your eyes on *this*

  [Everyone gasps] 

  Leela : It's beautiful!

  Amy Wong : And huge!

  Fry : Can I touch it?

• Fry : Yeah, well here's a funny joke: I'm gonna sit right here till it's my shift.

  Flexo : Suit yourself, skinbag.

  Fry : That I will.

  Flexo : Good.

  Fry : Good.

  Flexo : Good.

  Fry : Good.

  Flexo : Good.

  Fry : Good...

  [Flexo doesn't reply] 

  Fry : ... Good.

• Leela : How did Flexo steal the tiara?

  Fry : He must have zapped me with a sleep ray. You have sleep rays in the future, right?

  Leela : No.

  Fry : Then I must have fallen asleep.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : [singing]  There it is, Miss Universe... There it is, looking weird...

• Fry : [At Pastorama]  Cool, it's just like the good old days.

  Mugger : Give me your wallet, or I'll cut you!

  Fry : Hey, Leela. Get a picture of me being "mugged".

  [Gives mugger his wallet while Leela takes a picture] 

  Mugger : I'll take the camera too.

  [Takes camera and leaves through exit] 

  Bender : Learning is fun.

• Dr. Zoidberg : It's funny because it's poisonous!

• Bender : I got a label for you, pal. An ugly word called "prejudice!"

  Fry : I'm not prejudiced.

  Bender : Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf.

• Bender : Being with you guys is the best time I've ever had. Hey, a suicide booth! So long, suckers!

  Fry : That's not a suicide booth, that's just an ordinary phone booth.

  Leela : What were they for?

  Fry : In New York, public restrooms.

  Leela : I need to stop for a moment.

• Bob Barker : So you lost the atom, huh? You're garbage! Human garbage! Do you brain-dead space jockeys have any idea how much that thing is worth?

  Leela : A hundred thousand?

  Fry : Two hundred thousand?

  Bender : Two hundred thousand and one?

  Bob Barker : [to Leela]  You're the closest without going over.

• Fry : I'm so confused. The Bender I liked turned out to be evil, and the Bender I hated was good. How can I live my life if I can't even tell good from evil?

  Bender : Eh, they're both fine choices. Whatever floats your boat.

• Bender : [Pointing a gun at Fry]  Halt! Who goes there?

  Fry : Don't point that thing at me!

  Bender : Fry who?

• Leela : Fry, why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?

  Fry : I didn't find him ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again.

• Leela : Wow... The burial chamber of the 20th century's greatest spiritual leader - Al Sharpton.

  Bender : Oh... Now this guy had taste.

  Leela : It says he was mummified in ceremonial vestments.

  Fry : We sometimes called it a jogging suit.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Everyone get in bed with me. I have something to show you

  [everyone gets in bed] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Feast your eyes... on *this*!

  [everyone gasps] 

  Leela : It's beautiful!

  Amy Wong : And huge!

  Fry : Can I touch it?