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By Duane Cardall
KSL Director of Editorials, Former KSL Religion SpecialistI’d just returned from England where I had the delightful assignment to “tag along” with President Gordon B. Hinckley on his first international journey after becoming leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints a few months earlier, and found I needed one more interview for a documentary I was preparing for KSL Television about the trip. The person I needed to interview was Marjorie P. Hinckley.
We met one afternoon in the President’s office in the Church Administration Building. Busy as ever, the president was away from the office, attending a meeting, so we had it to ourselves.
“Do you sometimes wish he’d slow down and catch his breath,” I asked with the television camera focused in on Sister Hinckley.
“No, I don’t,” she responded without hesitation. “I really don’t because he wouldn’t be happy that way. He’s only happy when he’s getting it done.”
“And what about you,” I queried.
“Well, I just go along. What else can I do? I just try to keep up with him and it isn’t easy, let me tell you. I just try to keep up with him.”
Just try to keep up? Perhaps, considering the challenges of what is required of the President of the Church in terms of hours at the office, meetings, speeches and international travel. But “just go along?” Never! Theirs is a wonderful and exemplary partnership. “Neither is Gordon B. Hinckley without Marjorie Pay, neither Marjorie without Gordon, in the Lord,” to paraphrase a familiar New Testament scripture.
From the days of their youth when they grew up in the same ward; through dating, courtship and marriage; through establishing a family and rearing children; through local church service and eventually his call to be a General Authority; literally through all of life’s vicissitudes, she has been there, not just going along, but nobly fulfilling her role as a full partner in an exemplary, eternal union. He may be in the spotlight, but she certainly isn’t just in the shadow.
“I think dad was very shy and bashful as a teenager, sort of held back in the group and mother was very good to bring out the best in him,” said their daughter Jane Dudley. “Still today she brings out the best in him.”
Jane and her siblings spoke with me during a taped television interview a few days before their father became President of the Church. At the time President Howard W. Hunter’s health was failing and I was preparing a television documentary about President Hinckley, knowing he would succeed President Hunter. Richard Hinckley, Kathleen Hinckley Barnes Walker, Virginia Hinckley Pearce, Clark Hinckley and Jane Hinckley Dudley spoke candidly about their father. However their countenances literally lit up and a noticeable excitement entered their voices when I began asking about their mother.
“She is our hero, everyone of us,” declared Richard without the slightest hesitation. “I don’t think any of us know anyone who is any better. She’s just one of these people who has no guile, who loves everyone. She likes everyone and everyone seems to like her.”
Virginia chimed in, “I think her talent is with people. I really do. She loves to read and she loves to learn and she’s just interested in people and making others peoples lives work and I think that’s a gift.”
“People respond to that genuineness, “ added Richard. “What you see with mother is what you get. She’s a very uncomplicated open book. You meet her once and that’s it. You know her.”
“I think mother’s been very willing to allow dad to do what he needs to do in terms of the church and obligations there,” said Kathleen. “She never placed demands on him that were outside of what she saw as his main responsibility, which was to support the family and serve the Lord. That has in a very real sense allowed him to move forward and to do what he’s been called to do.”
Occasional travel with the Hinckley’s has allowed me to see first hand what their children are talking about. Whether at home or in remote regions of the world, the Latter-day Saints flock to see and honor their Prophet, Seer and Revelator and then they fall in love with his wife. They’re immediately attracted to this diminutive woman with the grandmotherly demeanor who always wears a cherubic smile on her face. It’s obvious the few who are privileged to meet her and interact with her immediately feel comfortable in her presence. Unfortunately, the demands on the President’s time as well as concerns for the couple’s safety preclude many one-on-one encounters. But even those who see her only at the pulpit and hear her comments from a distance experience her genuineness and especially her disarming humor.
“Sometimes when I consider the role I find myself in,” she’ll often say, “I realize that being in a situation where I am, much is expected of me and I say, “How did a nice girl like me get in a mess like this?”
The comment always evokes laughter.
“On our way to England once a few years ago we stopped in Detroit to see some of our grandchildren,” she once told a British audience, “and a little three-year-old cried to come with me and her mother said, “You can’t go with Grandma. She’s going to London.” And this little three-year-old said, “But London is my favorite town.” She wasn’t very brainwashed!”
In that instant, she had her British audience in the palm of her hand and they sat enthralled with her brief presentation. Wherever she goes, whatever the audience, she comes across with disarming genuineness and sincerity. Consider her appearance before a distinguished group of psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers.
“We’ve been married for more than 60-years,” she told them, “and during all that time we’ve never seen a caseworker or a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a psychotherapist. We’ve seen a few counselors but not the kind you are.”
Again her audience erupted in laughter. That’s her style - make them laugh and feel good then proceed to leave a message filled with practical advice. During my travels with the Hinckley’s, I must admit, I’ve looked forward to hearing her brief sermons as much if not more than her husband’s.
Humor and laughter are mainstays of the Hinckley family. To be around her, to be around them is to sense that life is full of joy. Optimism abounds. They aren’t immune to adversity and the normal struggles of life, but their positive outlooks dominate their personalities and make their lives full of contagious joy and happiness.
“It’s always great to get out with the people,” Sister Hinckley confided during our television interview in the President’s office. “When the people come and you know they’ve come because they love the Church and because they have testimonies, it’s worth everything. You think everything’s all right. Everything in the world is OK.”
“Everything is OK” in her mind, even though the couple’s schedule of public appearances and frequent travel are extraordinarily challenging, especially for people their age. It is common for the news media and others to comment about the President’s grueling scheduled “at an age when most men are well into retirement” sometimes forgetting that she is regularly there at his side, supporting him and fulfilling her providential role as the eternal companion to one of God’s chosen servants. “Trying to keep up” may be a real concern for a woman in her eighties, simply because of the physical demands of being the wife of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But, certainly, she never “just goes along.”
“We have a good life,” she said as we concluded our television interview. “We love it. We love what we’re doing. I wouldn’t change a thing. Not a thing.”
