Cut Down on Self-Imposed Pressure

Hello there!!!

It’s no secret that you and I put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Whether it’s striving to meet our professional goals, keeping up with our social media persona, or simply trying to be the best version of ourselves. It can be tough not to compare ourselves to others and constantly strive for more.

Sometimes you might put too much pressure on yourself without realizing it. Being too hard on yourself can cause you to feel mental and physical stress. Some signs you're being too hard on yourself include engaging in negative self-talk or having trouble sleeping.

Without blaming yourself, why not learn what you can do to stop the self-sabotage and be your own strongest ally in stress relief? Here are some of the best ways to make the most of your life and cut down on self-imposed stress.

1. Understand High Achievement vs. Perfectionism

Many people slip into perfectionistic habits, not realizing that there is a better way to do their best without beating themselves along the way. Many perfectionists, on some level, believe that they need to attain perfection or they have failed; this belief can not only lead to stress, but it can also actually lead to less success than the attitude of a regular high-achiever! 

An important first step is to recognize the difference between perfectionism and high achievement and really understand why perfectionism is more a form of self-sabotage than an asset.

2. Stay in the moment

We all need a healthy amount of internal pressure in order to feel motivated and accomplish our goals. However, when internal pressure becomes too intense, it can turn into an unhealthy mental pattern. 

When we put pressure on ourselves, we are usually worried about something from the past or something happening in the future rather than living in the present moment. 

Another word for this habit of living in the past or future is anxiety. When anxiety takes over, it takes our minds out of the present moment and brings us either back in time or propels our minds into the future. When we place an unhealthy amount of pressure on ourselves, we may be focusing on something that happened in the past that we can’t change or worried about pleasing others or living up to someone else’s expectations in future scenarios that haven’t happened yet. 

Our minds are not in sync with our bodies when we are in an anxious state. Mindfulness, or the practice of awareness of the present moment, can help us reduce time spent placing pressure on ourselves by training our brains to focus on what is happening right now, allowing us to enjoy the current moment instead of living in the past or future.

3. Examine your inner thought process

If you find yourself placing too much pressure on yourself, it can be helpful to examine your internal thought process or “self-talk.” For example, when thinking about a recent stressful event, try to unpack what messages were going through your mind about yourself. 

We can all get stuck in negative messages such as: 

“I will probably not get the promotion.”

“I’m not qualified enough.” 

“I’m not good enough.” 

“If I can just make my partner happy/fix my partner/change my partner, then things will be better.” 

It can be helpful to identify your self-talk and then examine the evidence you have for those messages. It’s common for our self-talk not to be based on the evidence we have, they are usually the result of catastrophic thinking or worst-case scenario thinking. 

To replace these thoughts, examine the evidence in your real life to come up with a more optimistic, productive, realistic thought such as: 

“I’ve worked really hard, and it’s possible I’ll get the promotion. If I don’t, there will probably be other opportunities soon.”  

“I can’t change my partner, and all I can do is control the way I react to situations.”

These shifts in internal messages can help reduce the pressure we place on ourselves on a daily basis by changing our thinking.

4. Take a break when you are feeling under pressure.

Oh, take a break when you feel like you’re pressuring yourself! The idea is to interrupt the thought processes to disrupt how they gain steam. In many cases, pressured thoughts are circular thoughts in that they just go round and round. And as they go round, they pile onto each other, creating more anxiety, intensity, and pressure.

But what happens when you disrupt that process? Well, you allow the thoughts to dissipate. You slow them down, so they don’t stack up quite as harshly. If you find yourself in those thought loops, take a break and force yourself to not think about it. Meditation is a great way to quiet things down. Try a 5-minute guided meditation video on YouTube or an app if you struggle with meditating. Find something else to focus on that isn’t your work, then return to it later.

5. Practice gratitude

Oftentimes, when we place pressure on ourselves, we focus on everything that is going wrong in our lives, such as “I’ve had so many relationships that haven’t worked out. This one will probably end in disaster too.” 

If we can train our brains to practice daily gratitude, it can help our minds shift from a pessimistic outlook to an optimistic one. Reminding ourselves of our successes, even seemingly small ones, and past growth can give us relief from the pressure we place on ourselves. 

Rather than focusing on past failed relationships, consider how those relationships have helped better define what kind of partner we want to be with, and consider the good times we experienced as part of our overall life journey. If you find yourself focusing on negative events in the past, try reminding yourself of three positive events to create a more balanced way of thinking. Consider celebrating mini-successes daily and practice self-gratitude for those mini-successes. These mini-celebrations help us feel grateful for what’s going well while reducing the time we spend placing pressure on ourselves.

6. Live a Balanced Life

Living a full life is great, but if you don't live a balanced life, you can feel too stressed, too much of the time. How can you draw the line between being excitedly busy and overwhelmed? 

You can start by paying attention to how you feel at the end of the day, at the end of a weekend (when you're about to start a new week with new challenges), and taking a careful look at your life to see if you have enough time for maintaining self-care activities on a regular basis, including:

• Engaging in regular exercise
• Getting enough sleep
• Nurturing relationships

Taking care of yourself is essential for stress management, and no other goals should be put above it, or you won't be able to reach those goals as effectively exhausted people lose momentum eventually.

7. Focus on the process, not the results

We tend to be a result-oriented generation; at times, we place an unhealthy amount of emphasis on the results rather than the process. For example, you may not accomplish the result such as a work promotion, but so much hard work and effort went into working toward the promotion. Try to appreciate the “baby steps” that were accomplished along the way that were accomplished.

Don't pressure yourself!!!

I'm always rooting for you. 

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