Silence Can Be an Effective Form of Communication

If you are like me, you will spend a good deal of time talking about communication; you will spend just as much time reading about it, and maybe even write an occasional article or blog.  In fact, I just read a Forbes.com article about whether we are helpful or hurtful in our communication.

But the article got me thinking that communication as an act of commission - be it hurtful or helpful - presents a dichotomy, a black or white situation. However, there is an alternative that we rarely consider. And that is communication as an act of omission - silence. You know what they say about silence? It speaks louder than words. So, your choice not to utter hurt or help may actually be a good thing.

The National Communication Association (NCA) lists the following as one of its nine measures of communication competence: "recognize when it is appropriate to communicate." What that implies is that not communicating is a valid option.  Cicero, a Roman master of rhetoric, regarded silence as ‘one of the great arts of conversation’.  A few more quotes on the value of silence:

• “Silence is a source of great strength.”  ~ Lao Tzu, mystic philosopher of ancient China
• “Be silent or let thy words be worth more than silence.” ~ Pythagoras, ancient Greek philosopher
• "Silence is golden when you can't think of a good answer." ~ Muhammad Ali
• “Does not everything depend on our interpretation of the silence around us?” ~ Lawrence Durrell, novelist, poet, humorist, and travel writer.

Renowned communication researcher, Deborah Tannen, in her paper, ‘‘Silence: Anything But’’, shares that silence is anything but nothing. Silence as an alternative to verbal communication should not be negative, spiteful, or begrudging. It should be used in a contemplative, respectful manner. Michal Ephratt, of the Department of Hebrew Language in Israel, calls it eloquent silence, such as what we find in religious ceremonies.  Well said.  Now for a moment of silence.

Dr. Alman leads and teaches in the Communication Department at Wenatchee Valley College. She can be reached at kalman@wvc.eduor (509) 682-6766.