The Sunday News
Kilton Moyo
Human relationships have been very sick for a very long time since the fall of mankind in Genesis 3. Ever since that time gender relations between men and women have seen a lot of abuse taking place. Relations between humans and creation also have been that of abuse. It is sad to see people struggle to relate with one another the way we do and also struggling to relate with the environment. Just take a look around you and see how humans have become destructive to the environment.
Do you want me to remind you of the destruction of the environment when people are looking for minerals, the destruction of wildlife because humans want money etc? Our relationships are so abusive you wonder what is going on in the minds and hearts of human beings. It is a lot of things ranging from culture to religion and the ways we are socialised, but today I am going to look at only three reasons which I believe are foundational to this problem of abusive relationships.
Disobedience to the Word of God
I know someone might say, “come on sir this is absurd” but, if you look back into the history of humankind you will discover that when Adam and His wife Eve disobeyed God’s word in Genesis 3, sin came in and their relationship with God, themselves and creation got confused. At the foundation of this confusion is disobedience. They doubted the Word of God by listening to the lies of the serpent and everything went wrong then. Even today, disobedience is still what we struggle with. I always ask myself, why it is so difficult for humanity to believe God at His word as it is without trying to explain it the way we want.
These days we are so full of revelations and interpretations of the word, just the way that suits our disobedience and indulgence. As long as we continue to disobey, we will continue to struggle, kill each other, hurt each other, bewitch and do all sorts of evil against each other as people. We will continue promoting satanic agendas such as tribalism and racism. I want to make it clear here that humanity is one despite the different colour of our skins and different languages. These things were never meant to be dividers but issues of diversity that gives beauty to humanity. If we are to heal and restore our relationships, in marriage, in the family and in the communities, we all need to pay attention to what God says about us all.
The word of God is medicine unto all the flesh.
Reluctance to correct each other
It is so hard for people to correct each other. Adam also watched Eve get cheated and eat the fruit. He could have corrected her if he wanted to. Many of us see our spouses, friends, relatives, leaders and bosses commit wrongs but we never correct them. All we do is to gossip about them and destroy so many relationships in the process. Many people are afraid of hurting others by correcting them.
Worse still, these days when you try to correct, they say you are judging them. This is a lie from the devil meant to take away correction in our way of doing things. Correcting me is a way of loving me. See what has happened now. You did not correct that young man and now he is in prison or dead. You did not correct that young lady and now she is pregnant or is dead. You did not correct your spouse and now they are in trouble or in hospital. You did not correct each other in your organisation and now it’s closed. Your business is closed. Your nation is in turmoil because you cannot correct each other.
Beloved this is deception. We need to correct each other in love. If we are a people who love each other, correction will be part of us and it will be done in love. People, particularly Christians, who refuse correction and take it for judgment are people who are still enjoying their sins. We need to be careful these days about this liberal theology preached which says you do everything as long as it feels right with you. This is a lie. Sin is never a right. Wrong is never a right no matter how much you justify it. Beloved, correct each other.
Failure to own up to our mistakes
When people fail to own up to their mistakes, they blame each other and fight unnecessarily. Many fights in many homes and institutions are just because someone cannot own up. Adam and Eve could not own up. Adam blamed Eve and the woman blamed the serpent. None of them said sorry to God. This has been the tendency with humanity ever since. We cannot say sorry. We cannot accept we have made mistakes. See how much destruction we have caused in our communities because we cannot say sorry or acknowledge we are wrong. Beloved, it is deception and foolishness not to accept our shortcomings.
People who do not accept their shortcomings become a danger to themselves and humanity at large. We cannot run away from responsibility in this manner. It is wrong. It is sinful and unacceptable. It is our unrepentant spirit that causes all the conflicts and destructions we are faced with as humanity.
I want to encourage each one of us to swallow our pride and say sorry to build peace. I want to encourage husbands and fathers to learn to accept faults. I want to encourage leadership at all levels to learn to accept their shortcomings so as to correct things and make progress. Beloved, we can restore order in our relationships if we want to and if we choose the right responses. Obey the word of God and it shall be well with you.
For this and more you can follow us on our blog @fruitfulmarriages.wordpress.com or on our Facebook page: Fruitful Marriages or on twitter @fmarriages. You can email us or whatsap us on the given numbers or even send us an email. We are available for seminars too.
Kilton Moyo is the creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment program and is a pastor, counsellor and author of The Sex Trap. Call or WhatsApp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected]
