Sensational snacks and canapé calamities

Finger food has long been a big part of the British party spirit. Alison Steadman's enthusiastic brandishing of "cheesy pineapples" as Beverley in Abigail's Party was funny precisely because it was so familiar. Christmas is a veritable canapé binge, and each year retailers have "developers" scratching their heads for new and exciting ideas. Sometimes that's good, but too often it's a case of innovation for innovation's sake (hoisin duck Christmas trees, anyone?) - lots of these treats look beautiful arranged by a stylist for some glossy packaging, but once cooked they bear little resemblance to that ideal.

I assembled a panel of keen foodists to taste some of this year's offerings and weed out the duds. Generally speaking, it's the simple things done well that shone through - the most successful snack on test was a basic sausage roll – albeit a high quality Donald Russell product - while the elaborate snacks were rendered poorly. The testers were Jackson Boxer (restaurateur); Helen Graves (food blogger and cook) and William Leigh (taste assistant at Green & Blacks, chef and food writer).

M&S Lochmuir salmon and asparagus blankets

Price: £5.99 for 8
Mark: 2/5
"A sausage roll with a difference!" M&S proudly proclaim of these pastry puffs filled with smoked salmon mousse and asparagus; our panel thought they were more like "a sausage roll gone wrong". There was general bemusement at the unwieldy design and lack of seasonality, although the flavourful salmon element attracted praise. The judges approved of the pastry but found these an odd concept for a Christmas snack (asparagus in winter?), and, with their awkward prongs of asparagus, rather difficult to eat.

Sainsbury's hot smoked salmon and horseradish canapés

Price: £6 for 12
Mark: 2/5
This "variety of creamy canapés hand wrapped in responsibly sourced Scottish smoked salmon" from Sainsbury's Taste the Different range may have sustainable credentials, but they lack the pizazz you'd expect for the price. Our judges liked the moulded shapes and rich, balanced dairy component of them, but that was as far as the praise went. They weren't enamoured with these fishy little bites, commenting that the fillings (hot smoked salmon and horseradish; smoked salmon and lemon and prawn and "fire roasted" tomato) were too sweet and cloying, and the salmon "pappy".

Sainsbury's smoked salmon canapés

Price: £3 for 12
Mark: 1.5/5
Sainsbury's cheaper version fared only slightly worse, despite being half the price. While not "the worst thing in the world for three quid", the consensus was that they seemed like they'd been made with offcuts of salmon, and lacked any herb flavour despite being filled with prawn, lemon and parsley and smoked salmon mousse mixed with soft cheese and chives.

Iceland Luxury Hoisin duck Christmas trees

Price: £3 for 12
Mark: 1/5
The only thing less appetising than Iceland's saccharin Christmas ad campaign (featuring a usually likeable but inexcusably simpering Stacey Soloman driving back to Dagenham) is this little creation. Iceland claim their party range take the hassle out of entertaining, but our panel thought the hoisin duck Christmas trees massively impractical: dubbing them "inherently flawed because they're only palatable when they're too hot to comfortably eat". William thought they "looked like something likely to inflict some kind of burn or spike-related injury", and sure enough – roofs of mouths were singed. "It's quite a fun shape, but that's all I can give it," said Helen, who wasn't alone in finding this snack, which is part of Iceland's luxury line "terrifyingly cheap". As with Iceland's prawn selection, there was an unpleasant oily flavour lingering on the filo parcels and a syrupy sweetness to the shredded duck with Chinese style sauce filling that displeased the judges.

M&S crunchy pork crackling straws

Price: £4.49
Mark: 4/5
Marks and Sparks reckon their take on the pork scratching makes an "impressive nibble to serve with drinks", and our panel agreed. They liked them so much that they were used by some as a "porky palate cleanser" in between some of the lesser enjoyed snacks. The judges thought M&S had been artful in conceiving such palatably long, thin versions of the fatty treats, rather than the "curled up toenail shapes you sometimes see". The bubbly, crunchy texture of the straws was praised, but were they delicious dipped in the spiced apple compote as suggested by M&S? Jackson wasn't so sure, likening the accompanying sauce to "baby food".

Tesco Finest chicken laksa parcels

Price: £4 for 10
Mark: 2/5
In contrast to the blurb, the only thing wonderfully light about Tesco's "bite-sized pastries filled with tender chicken prepared in a creamy sauce" was the relative scarcity of the "sludgy, over-sweet" filling, according to our panel. There was much confusion surrounding these Malaysian-inspired snacks, and our judges felt this nod to Malaysian cuisine was an egregious case of innovation for the sake of it. Although their use of real lime leaves and coconut earned them some cred, and even led one member of the panel to call them "quite tasty", their overpowering sweetness and frugality with the chicken lost them marks.

The Co-operative mini chicken, ham hock & leek pies

Price: £3 for 6 x 40g
Mark: 2.5/5
Our judges disagreed on the pastry of these mini pies from the Co-op, with some finding it bland and claggy and others thinking it had a nice crumbly texture. The Co-op describe these treats, which are made with British meat as "incredibly tasty", but the overall gripe was lack of seasoning and a blandness to the fillings, which while not unpleasant, didn't pack the taste punch they could have.

Donald Russell mini artisan sausage rolls

Price: £4.50 for 8
Mark: 4/5
Donald Russell boast that they've "taken a traditional British favourite, the sausage roll, and given it the Donald Russell 'wow' treatment" – and rightly so. These piggy parcels were a unanimous hit, our panel loved their "proper responsive texture" and commenting that they were "something relatively pedestrian done really well". They were well seasoned with black pepper and onion and wouldn't be out of place in a decent gastro-pub with their buttery, flaky pastry and rich, slightly-caramelising pork filling.

Tesco Finest 12 oriental prawn selection pack

Price: £4 for 12
Mark: 1/5
While they looked pretty, these handcrafted bite size oriental snacks from Tesco's Finest line left our judges cold. "I'm sick of faux spring roll, stale bake fry things," said Jackson, clearly irked by the trend for snacks designed to be baked to seem like they've been fried. While pleased with the prawn-to-toast ratio on the prawn toast, the flabby, not-particularly crisp pastry and lack of discernible prawn flavour was a let-down. These were less "world cuisine" and more last night's Chinese reheated.

Waitrose mini beef wellington

Price: £5.99 for 12
Mark: 2/5
The tagline of the Waitrose Christmas TV ad is to "serve up a little magic this Christmas" – but these little bites lacked sparkle. Waitrose's miniature beef wellingtons, among the more expensive of the snacks we tried, were disappointingly one-dimensional – despite being made with British beef topped with mushroom duxelle. "It's just pastry with a bit of stewing steak in the middle. There's a slight mushroom flavour but it definitely needs more of an umami kick," said Helen. The judges liked the poppy seeds and thought the pastry had a good flaky texture, but it was the toughness of the meat morsels and lack of acidity that lost these canapés marks.