Age: 26.
Appearance: "The planet's sexiest geek", according to Gawker.
Never heard of it. Or him, though that probably goes without saying. It's a New York-based gossip site. He's the boss of Mashable!
And that's supposed to mean something? It would if you followed the news. It's an award-winning website–
Yawn. that–
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. -media giant CNN wants to buy for $200m.
And I'm awake again! This will make Cashmore filthy rich? Definitely, though he won't say how filthy – or even admit a deal is in the works.
This explains the "planet's sexiest geek" nonsense. Even I'm starting to fancy him. And he's got one of those revolting half-hearted beards! Hence his alternative nickname, "the Brad Pitt of the blogosphere". But perhaps you're wondering what Mashable does?
Actually I'm wondering what its head honcho would look like in a pair of Speedos. But carry on. According to its own bumf, it's one "of the largest and most popular destinations for digital, social media, and technology news and information."
In other words, it's a website about websites? Er … If I may quote again …
Good old control-c, control-v, the lazy journalist's best friend. "Numerous studies and leading publications have declared Mashable the most influential online news outlet."
That's enough corporate nonsense. What's Cashmore's story? He grew up near Aberdeen, and set up Mashable at the age of 19 after appendicitis disrupted his schooling and encouraged him to spend more time online. Apparently, it was "something to do without getting out of bed".
Oh, for the days when teenagers didn't need computers to keep them happy between the sheets. Shhh. Cashmore now divides his time between Scotland, San Francisco and New York. For the past two years he has been dating Lisa Bettany.
I have a rival? What is she, some sort of model? Hot internet gurus are so predictable. Not this one. She's a photographer and iPhone app developer.
Really? Absolutely. She just "used" to be a model.
Do say: "It's not about the money."
Don't say: "If I said you had a beautiful wallet, would you hold it against me?"