How to Get Better at Keeping in Touch with People

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1 Using Technology

2 Keeping in Touch in With Letters and Visits

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Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: June 22, 2022

Staying in touch with people can be a challenge, especially if you have a busy work schedule and a long list of commitments already in your life. You may worry about losing touch with a friend who lives far away or a loved one who also has a packed schedule. You can get better at staying in touch with people by using technology and by keeping in touch through letters, in person visits, and by planning trips together. With a few small steps, you can make sure you stay connected to those you care about.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Using Technology

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   1
   Start a message thread. You can stay in touch with others by starting a message thread with them on your cellphone or online through a messenger service. You may send them a text message to check in and say “Hi” or “It's been awhile! How are you doing?” They may then respond and this will create a message thread where you can both chat when you start to lose touch and want to reconnect.

   • You may start a message thread with more than one person if you are trying to stay in touch with a group of friends. Having a group message can make it easier to contact everyone at once and plan group hang outs or get togethers when you all start to lose touch.
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   2
   Schedule weekly or monthly emails to check in. You may also find it useful to stay connected to others through email. Put a reminder in your calendar on your computer or your phone to email certain people once a week or once a month. Having an alert set in your computer or phone can help you remember to send a check in email on a regular basis and stay in touch with others.

   • You may try putting reminders in your calendar to contact people for the entire year so you never forget to send out check in emails.
   • You may also star or flag certain email conversations to remind yourself to respond to them and pay attention to them. This could help prevent you from losing touch with certain people.
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   3
   Set weekly or monthly phone dates. If you prefer talking to people over the phone rather than by text or email, make sure you remind yourself to do check-in calls on a regular basis. You may put a reminder in your phone once a week or once a month so you do not forget to phone certain people and stay in touch with them.

   • You and the person you are contacting may agree on a set night of the week for the phone date so you are both prepared for the call. For example, you and a friend may agree to talk every Thursday night at 8 pm. Or you and a loved one may set aside Saturday mornings for a catch up call so you do not lose touch.
   • Making an actual appointment and following-through with it consistently is always the better solution here.
   • Since the best form of communication is usually face to face, you can try mimicking that with some video calls instead of simply phone calls.
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   4
   Use social media to stay in touch. You can also use social media to stay connected with others, especially as it is so popular and used by many people all over the world. You may use photo sharing platforms like Instagram to stay in touch as well as Snapchat. Or you may check in with friends around the world through Facebook or Twitter. Visit their social media pages to see what they are up to and comment or like their posts so you can stay in touch.

   • You may also send the person personal messages, images, or videos through social media to let them know you want to stay in touch and remain a part of their life. They may then reciprocate and this could lead to a conversation over social media that keeps you both connected and involved in each other's lives.
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   5
   Put people's birthdays in your calendar. A birthday is a good yearly reason to check in with someone you have not spoken to in awhile. Put people's birthdays in your calendar on your phone or your computer so you are aware of their special day and can use it as an opportunity to contact them.

   • On their birthday, you may give them a birthday call or send them a birthday message as a way to celebrate them and stay in touch with them. You may also make contacting them every year on their birthday part of an annual tradition, giving you both a chance to catch up.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Keeping in Touch in With Letters and Visits

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   1
   Write letters to people. You can keep in touch with someone the old fashioned way by sending them a handwritten letter. Sometimes, sending a thoughtful written letter to someone can be a nice gesture that lets them know you want to stay connected in a meaningful way. You may get in the habit of writing letters to certain people once every few weeks so you do not lose touch.

   • To encourage people to write back to you, you may try including self-addressed envelopes and postage in your letter. This will make it easier for the person to mail their response to you as soon as they have finished their letter.
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   2
   Send out holiday cards. Another way to keep in touch with others is to send out cards on specific holidays as a way to check in and connect. You may send out Christmas cards every year so you can write to people and wish them a happy holiday season. Or you may send out cards for Hanukkah, Chinese New Year, or Kwanzaa, depending on what you and the person celebrate.

   • You may enclose a picture of you and your family together in the holiday card. This can help give the receiver a visual sense of your family and make them feel more in touch with what is going on in your life.
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   3
   Have scheduled in person visits. If you connect better to people in person, try to schedule face to face visits with them on a regular basis. You may have weekly or monthly get togethers with people so you do not lose touch with them. Having in person visits can also make the time you spend together feel meaningful.

   • For example, you may schedule in weekly dinner dates with a friend so you do not lose touch with them. Or you may have a monthly coffee date with a loved one so you can catch up and chat in person.
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   4
   Plan a get together or trip. If you find it difficult to stay in touch with others on a regular basis, you may find it easier to plan a big trip or get together with others. Planning a trip together can give you all a reason to stay in touch. A trip or get together away from the regular craziness of life can also allow you to spend quality time with each other and make lasting memories together.

   • For example, you may plan a trip with old girlfriends from high school where you go to a cabin on a lake or you all go to a destination overseas. This could give you all a reason to stay in touch and bond once you are all together on your trip.
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