Artifacts From the Future: Chewing Gum

Click on the thumbnails below for a closer look at gum from 2017. We’ll continue to create a new artifact from the future in each upcoming issue of Wired magazine, but we’d like to see your prognostications, too. What do you think our world will look like in 10, 20, or 100 years? Each month, […]

Click on the thumbnails below for a closer look at gum from 2017. We’ll continue to create a new artifact from the future in each upcoming issue of Wired magazine, but we’d like to see your prognostications, too. What do you think our world will look like in 10, 20, or 100 years? Each month, we’ll propose a scenario and ask for your help. Sketch out your vision, then return here to upload your ideas, see other submissions, and vote for your favorites. Check out http://archive.wired.com/culture/culturereviews/magazine/found/found_1706 this month’s challenge. The concept for this Found page came from creative director Scott Dadich. Contributing Wired magazine designer Walter Baumann, contributor Steven Leckart, deputy photo editor Anna Goldman Alexander, senior editor Chris Baker, associate editor Catherine DiBenedetto, and production director Jeff Lysgaard helped create the image. Kudos go to readers BigFatChronic, jgombarcik, PRXstimulus, and Sparkus, who contributed to http://archive.wired.com/culture/culturereviews/magazine/found/found_1703 this Found Photoshop contest. Photo: Daniel Salo; Face: Getty Images

We imagine that Altoids® will branch out from its "Curiously Strong" line to create "Curiously Smart" chewing gum that temporarily boosts your intelligence. Incredibly sour gums are all the rage today. In this Found, we predict that the gum of the future will be incredibly hot — so hot it’ll blow your mind.

The product’s slogan plays on a line borrowed from Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben ("With great power comes great responsibility").

The gum is packed with stimulants that increase cognitive output. Aderall enhances concentration, and modafinil improves focus, pattern recognition, and short-term memory. RTX-451 adds the spice. We imagine it to be a milder derivative of the ultra-fiery chemical resiniferatoxin. (Pure RTX is 4 million times hotter than a jalapeño!)

Curiously Smart gum super charges your brain. But once it wears off, you’re back to your normal self.

The gum’s pungency can cause anything from sweating to hearing loss. But it’s the neuroenhancers that cause side effects like brain hemorrhaging and Tourette’s-like symptoms.

Due to the drugs and the heat, minors will need adult supervision to chew Cherrybellum Explosion.