How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial part of your identity as well as your mental and health and happiness. In case you didn’t know, Boundaries can be physical or emotional. You will read about why healthy boundaries are important for self-care and how to explain boundaries to others. Having compassion and being kind to yourself is essential while trying to establish healthy boundaries.

What Are Healthy Boundaries?

Boundaries are defined as the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.

Think of boundaries as a fence line. We all know we are not to cross our neighbors fence unless they invite us in. If you catch your neighbor in your yard, sunbathing everyday, will you stay quiet and allow it? Or will you tell them they have crossed your boundary and ask them to leave? People with good boundaries will communicate with their neighbor that they can only come into their yard if invited and if they continue to come into their yard, you will have no choice but to call the authorities (consequence).

Your boundaries may be rigid, loose, in between, or nonexistent. A complete lack of boundaries may mean that we don’t have a strong identity or are enmeshed with someone else. Healthy boundaries can help people define their individuality and can help people indicate what they will and will not hold themselves responsible for.

Boundaries are usually psychological or emotional but boundaries can also be physical. For example, declining physical contact from a coworker is setting an important boundary, one that’s just as crucial as setting an emotional boundary, for example, asking that coworker not to make unreasonable demands on your time or emotions.

Self Care and Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are a crucial part of self-care. In any relationship, poor boundaries can lead us to feel anger, burnout, and resentment.

It is also important to have healthy boundaries at work as this helps people find more fulfillment and less stress in their work life which then leaves room for a more fulfilling personal life.

The consequences of not setting healthy boundaries often include more stress, financial burdens, wasted time, and relationship issues, which can cause even more mental distress. That is, a lack of healthy boundaries can negatively impact every aspect of a persons life.

Setting healthy boundaries can have several benefits, including: making decisions based on what is best you, not just the people around you.

If you are recovering from substance abuse, self-care can include: meaningful connection with recovery support, taking care of your physical health, maintaining spirituality, healthy eating, exercise, journaling, continuing education, staying busy, sponsorship, establishing boundaries, self-monitoring, abstinence, and dealing with destructive emotions head on.

Self-care, which can include setting boundaries, is an important part of leading a mentally healthy life. But unlike more intuitive aspects of self-care like healthy eating and exercise, setting healthy boundaries isn’t something most people understand. For more people to experience greater well-being and fulfillment, they must learn about healthy boundaries.

 How to set strong personal and emotional boundaries

The first part of setting boundaries is looking at the boundaries that you already have in place or that you lack. An example of this is a person may notice that they have healthy boundaries with their friends but not with their romantic partner or coworkers. After you work through that, you can decide what types of boundaries you want to set with your romantic partner and coworkers.

A way to set these boundaries is simply saying “no” firmly to something you do not want to do. Do NOT feel that you need to explain. Yes, it is important to explain your boundaries to others, however, not overexplaining is a crucial part of setting boundaries, as everyone has the right to determine what they do and do not want to do.

Next, make sure to keep the focus on yourself, instead of saying, “you have to stop bothering me after work”, you can say, “I need some time to myself when I get back from work.”

A key point to remember is, it’s impossible to set boundaries without setting consequences. This means that when setting boundaries, it is important to clearly state why they are important to you. An example of this can be, a person in an unhealthy relationship might declare that their partner needs to start respecting their personal time in order to continue being in a relationship with them. It is also crucial to only declare consequences that one is willing to follow through on, or else the boundaries will not be helpful.

The key to setting boundaries is first figuring out what you want from your various relationships, setting boundaries based on those needs, and then being clear with yourself and with other people about your boundaries.

Boundaries and Relationships

Boundaries in relationships are super important. Healthy boundaries can be the difference between a healthy, happy relationship and a toxic, dysfunctional relationship.

The lack of boundaries can lead to unhealthy relationships because one person may feel that they have no privacy. On the other hand, too many boundaries can also be an issue, for example, people who constantly turn down spending time with their partners friends/families.

When it comes to people in relationships who have kids, boundaries can be especially important. A new mother that sets boundaries with her partner, in order to respect her needs, will likely be better off than one who cannot, and this will help the relationship too.

Boundaries are important in relationships and highlight the importance of setting and respecting boundaries. It’s important to understand and respect each other’s boundaries in a long-term relationship, just as it’s important to respect the boundaries of people you not know well. One good way to avoid crossing someone’s boundaries is to have honest conversations about your boundaries with people.

To set up a call with Jennifer to begin working and setting up your own boundaries, CLICK HERE.