Less filling, and it tastes good enough

Every two weeks SCENE runs valuable coverage of beer and the beer industry in the form of beer expert Wesley Cutlip’s column, The Beer Buzz. This is not that. This is Cheap Beer Review, a monthly feature in which I extol the virtues (or bemoan the failings) of various cans of pale yellow swill. It is a dumb feature, and I love it.

The beer: We turn this week to Miller Lite, which bills itself as “the original light beer,” a claim that’s almost true. The very first light beer, Gablinger’s Diet Beer, was sold in 1967. Despite having such a sexy name, it did not do well. (Miller Lite was born of Gablinger’s failure; long story.)

■ The stats: First sold in 1972 and launched nationally in 1975; 3.2 grams of carbs, 96 calories and 4.2 percent alcohol by volume in every 12 ounce can.

■ The official description: “Miller Lite delivers more golden color, hops, aroma and satisfying taste than anyone would expect in a light beer.”

■ My description: Nah. It’s exactly the amount of golden color, hops, aroma and satisfying taste I expected.

■ The thing about Miller Lite: The thing about Miller Lite is that it’s very good for a bad beer. It’s not too sweet, it has a nice balanced (watery) flavor and it gets very cold when you put in a refrigerator. The reason I buy it, though, is the marketing. The old Bob Uecker ads, the “Tastes great! Less Filling!” ads, the surreal “Dick” ads from my college years — all of that is great. Miller Lite is cool, man. Especially since they brought back the old logo in 2014.

■ Miscellanea: It won gold in the light lager category at the 2016 World Beer Cup. It also won gold in 1996, 1998, 2002 and 2006. It’s like the Michael Phelps of cheap beer. (Which is weird because Michael Phelps is like the Bell’s Two Hearted Ale of swimming.)

■ Overall rating: 9.5 out of 10; it’s as good as cheap beer gets.