Us humans are unique

We live in a world that is unique

Our problems are unique

So then why aren’t our solutions, UNIQUE?

Or are THEY?

Recently, I have become intrigued by how we cope with the stressors in our lives. We, as humans, face a lot of adversity in our lives—from the mundane traffic jams in our daily commute to work to the heart palpitating news of one of our loved ones succumbing to chronic illnesses such as cancer. We face it ALL. We hear about it ALL. We know firsthand, even if we don’t experience them ALL, about the different stressors that exist in our world and the ones we could potential face in our lifetime.

Over time, we have developed many ways of dealing with these stressors. While everyone has their own unique approach, I’ve recently come to terms with one that may not fly well with everyone.

Consider this: i) you have studied a lot for an exam but the grade that you get does NOT reflect the fruit you were expecting. FRUSTRATING to say the least. OR, ii) you have suffered a recent heartbreak and life seems to have gone haywire – suddenly, all the joy seems to escape you and you keep trying to find reasons to live.

In these situations, the solution often seems distant. BUT what if you developed an attitude where you downplay YOUR problem and be thankful for not being in a situation that could have  been WORSE. Imagine if i) when you failed your exam, you could COPE by telling yourself how you could have failed an entire course or by thinking that there are people in this world that don’t even get the opportunity to go to school, forget feeling distraught for having an opportunity to rectify your mistake, do well in the course overall and still become educated. Imagine if ii) when you suffer that heartbreak you could feel gratitude for the loved ones that ARE in your life and remember that there are people in this world who don’t even have a shoulder to cry on. Wouldn’t it be different if you could experience a sense of relief that you just suffered a heartbreak instead of having a chronic illness that makes you suffer both physically and mentally?

Now I know each problem is unique and comparing it with another is not appropriate. I totally understand that our ability to judge and deal with problems is based on our life experiences. It is very much possible that the extent of one’s problem solving has never extended beyond dealing with traffic jams. Naturally, they would find the traffic jam to be the MOST stressful and wouldn’t even comprehend that there could be anything worse. Everyone has their own capacity and own self-judgement of what they consider to be, a “grave” or a “minor” problem. By no means am I belittling the human capacity to cope or problem solve. It is completely OK to feel distraught in all these situations. All I am asking for is a simple change in attitude to become better at coping with our stressors. I am asking for maintain a mindset that can help us get over our problems faster. I am asking us to become better at being GRATEFUL, for what could have been worse! It could be ONE way to cope. A UNIQUE way, perhaps!

I was once told that our failures don’t define me, but RATHER its the way we deal with those failures that SHAPES our identity!

Certainly then,

Us humans are unique

We live in a world that is unique

Our problems are unique

Our solutions are also, UNIQUE!