The Dark Side of Self Improvement

Deb Axom
4 min readApr 15, 2023

As a society, we’re obsessed with self-improvement. We’re constantly bombarded with messages telling us to be better, faster, stronger, smarter, and more successful. It seems like there’s a never-ending list of books, podcasts, and gurus telling us how to improve ourselves in every way imaginable. But what if I told you that there’s a dark side to all of this self-improvement?

Yes, my dear readers, it’s time to talk about the dark side of self-improvement. The side that nobody wants to talk about. The side that’s filled with disappointment, shame, and, sometimes, even self-hatred. So, buckle up, and let’s dive into the depths of self-improvement, where the truth lies.

Let’s start with the most obvious downside of self-improvement: it’s exhausting. Yes, my friends, the pursuit of self-improvement is an endless marathon, and most of us are running on empty. We’re constantly pushing ourselves to be better, to do more, and to achieve more, and we’re doing it without taking a break. We’re addicted to the feeling of accomplishment, and we’re terrified of falling behind.

But what happens when we can’t keep up? What happens when we fail? What happens when we realize that we’re not as perfect as we thought we were? That’s when the dark side of self-improvement rears its ugly head. We start to doubt ourselves, we start to feel ashamed, and we start to wonder if we’re just not good enough.

And that’s just the beginning. The dark side of self-improvement also includes comparison, envy, and jealousy. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, and we’re never satisfied with what we have. We’re always looking at someone else and thinking, “Why can’t I be more like them?”

But the truth is, we’re all on different journeys, and we all have our own struggles. We can’t compare ourselves to others because we don’t know what they’re going through. And even if we did, it wouldn’t change anything. We need to focus on our own progress and our own growth, and stop worrying about what other people are doing.

Another aspect of the dark side of self-improvement is the pressure to be perfect. We’re taught that we need to be flawless in every way, and that any mistake is a failure. But the reality is that nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. It’s part of being human.

The problem is that we’re so afraid of failure that we don’t take risks. We don’t try new things, we don’t take on challenges, and we don’t push ourselves out of our comfort zones. And that’s a shame because failure is where the real growth happens. We learn more from our failures than from our successes, and we need to embrace them.

Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the self-improvement industry itself. Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the gurus, the coaches, and the influencers who promise to change your life in 30 days or less. They’re everywhere, and they’re preying on our insecurities.

They tell us that if we just follow their program, we’ll be successful, happy, and fulfilled. But the truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to self-improvement. What works for one person may not work for another. We need to find our own path and our own methods for self-improvement.

And let’s not forget about the money. The self-improvement industry is a multi-billion dollar business, and they’re making a fortune off of our insecurities. They’re selling us hope and promising us a better life, but at what cost? Many of these programs and products are overpriced, and some are downright scams. We need to be careful and do our research before investing our time and money into any self-improvement program.

So, what can we do to avoid the dark side of self-improvement? First and foremost, we need to focus on progress, not perfection. We need to celebrate our successes, no matter how small, and learn from our failures. We need to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves a break when we need it.

Secondly, we need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We need to remember that we’re all on our own journey, and we all have our own struggles. We should celebrate the success of others, but not at the cost of our own happiness and self-worth.

Thirdly, we need to be careful of the self-improvement industry. We should do our research and choose programs and products that are reputable and effective. We should also be wary of any program or product that promises instant results or is overpriced.

Lastly, we need to remember that self-improvement is a lifelong journey, not a destination. We should enjoy the process and embrace the ups and downs. We should be proud of ourselves for taking the initiative to improve ourselves and our lives.

In conclusion, the dark side of self-improvement is real, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. We need to be aware of the potential pitfalls of self-improvement and take steps to avoid them. We need to focus on progress, not perfection, and be kind to ourselves. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and choose self-improvement programs and products carefully. And lastly, we need to remember that self-improvement is a lifelong journey, and we should enjoy the process.

So, my dear readers, go forth and improve yourselves, but do so with caution and humor. Life is too short to take ourselves too seriously. And always remember, if all else fails, there’s always ice cream.

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Deb Axom

Hi ! I'm Deb Axom from Guwahati. An Assamese programmer who writes about tech and non-tech random stuff here. Follow me to learn about many random stuffs.