Assertiveness is a simple adjective yet we fail to realize its stronger meaning of it. I wonder how these adjectives can make big differences in an individual’s life.
Here is the typical definition of Assertiveness
`Assertiveness skills are communication strategies that convey information and ideas in an open and direct way while maintaining respect for those you’re speaking with`.
Let’s imagine a real scenario,
Me: I’m expecting promotion this cycle, if my needs don’t meet I quit.
Manager’s response:
Aggressive: Please leave, I don’t care if you stayed or left.
Assertive: We’ve offered the best of everything, however, if you’re seeking better opportunities, I wish you all the luck.
When we’re threatened the normal human response is aggravation, which loses the essence of a serious discussion and the actions take precedence.
On the other hand, an assertive response is strong and effective leaving no possibility for a conflict.
In a more Agile scenario,
“Do you think you can facilitate the Backlog Refinement today?”
A typical passive reply might be:
“Yes, I’ll do it after I’ve done the development, made an important client call, finished the code review, and had lunch!”
A far more appropriate response would’ve been:
“No, I can’t do it today as I’m swamped with lots of other things I need to do, I will facilitate the next one.”
Assertive communication is ideal for many workplace communications. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message. If you communicate in a way that’s too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.
Sit back & glance at the Assertive Behavior tips.
- Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts, and feelings and encouraging others to do likewise.
- Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with those views or not.
- Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others.
- Regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they’ve done or are doing.
- Being able to admit to mistakes and apologize.
- Maintaining self-control.
- Behaving as an equal to others.
Often Assertiveness is confused for Aggressiveness. The difference between Aggressive and Assertive communication
Aggressive Communication Examples
“This is what we’re doing. If you don’t like it, though.”
“You need to get over it.”
“I’m not asking; I’m telling.”
Assertive Communication Examples
“I’m unable to meet at that time. Can you provide me with a few alternative times?”
“That’s a good idea. Let’s build on it. What if we did this as well?”
“I feel uncomfortable with that. It would make me feel better if we did…”
We must agree the only healthy communication style is Assertive Communication.
Long live Assertiveness..!!
