A Therapeutic Moment: Overgeneralizing

Imagine yourself with a full basket slung over your arm, waiting in line at the grocery store. The metal handles are digging into your forearm and after shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you think, “I always end up in the slow line in the store! What’s taking so long?”

Or maybe you notice how your coffee order is the one that always gets confused? Or how your spouse never takes out the trash ...

These types of thoughts are called overgeneralizations: a type of thought distortion in which a person applies something from one event to all other events. Words like “never,” “always,” and “everybody” are tell-tale signs that an overgeneralization is present.

Making overgeneralizations about groups of people is also common.

The language you choose to use matters (even if only spoken to yourself in your head) because you will respond to a situation based on the story you tell yourself. If you believe that something “always” happens, then you respond to a vast pattern of events rather than the one that just happened.

For example, if I believe my husband never takes out the trash, I am likely to feel angry and resentful toward him. It may be true that he rarely takes out the trash and with that thought I may be annoyed, but also curious enough to investigate why he sometimes does or doesn’t do it.

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With repeated usage of overgeneralizations you see problems as bigger and situations more limiting than they really are. You prime yourself to a position of an enraged or defeated victim, rather than creatively problem solving.

People who struggle with anxiety and depression often use overgeneralization about themselves or the world around them. Thoughts like, “I always mess up” and “No one ever cares” can send you down into a negative spiral that is hard to work your way out of.

Tips

Rather than succumb to sloppy thinking, catch yourself using overgeneralizations. Notice if you use words like “always, never, or everybody.” Then try the following:

• Ask yourself “Is this statement accurate?” For example, do my kids always leave their dishes out?
• Replace it with an accurate statement: Maybe it’s true that the kids often leave their dishes out. This is still a problem needing correction, but you’ll be less angry with just this subtle shift in thinking.

It is easy to fall into generalizations — it saves you time and brain power. You can simply notice a pattern and mark it as an infallible truth.

You may think the case is solved and there is no need to actually notice what is really going on in the present moment. The problem is this just isn’t true, even if it is mostly true. It’s not accurate enough.

As the legendary cowboy of the American West, Wyatt Earp, said, “Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.” Aim for accurate thinking.

It works better in problem solving, building and keeping relationships — and it’s more honest. Challenge yourself to aim for accurate thinking and avoid overgeneralizing.