What are the nonverbal cues of defensiveness in a team feedback session?
Feedback is essential for improving team performance and collaboration, but it can also trigger defensiveness in some people. Defensiveness is a natural reaction to perceived criticism or threat, but it can hinder learning, communication, and trust. How can you recognize the nonverbal cues of defensiveness in a team feedback session, and what can you do to overcome them?
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Cody SotoDirector of Social Media & Digital Engagement at Baylor University
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Hanna Sodatonou MD MSc FFPMMedical Director | Oncology Medical Affairs | Leadership | London School on Economics | Faculty of Pharmaceutical…
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Irina Shchukina, MBAStrategic Marketing Communications | PR | Ex AB InBev | Ex Porter Novelli | International Business Honor Society 'Beta…
Defensiveness is a form of self-protection that involves denying, rejecting, or avoiding feedback. It can stem from various factors, such as low self-esteem, fear of failure, lack of trust, or personal values. Defensiveness can affect not only the person who receives the feedback, but also the person who gives it and the rest of the team. It can create tension, resentment, misunderstanding, and conflict, which can reduce team morale, productivity, and creativity.
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In my professional journey, I've come to recognize that the absence of both verbal and nonverbal cues can serve as a precursor to potential conflicts. Even when we don't fully align with every aspect of the feedback we receive, there's an inherent inclination to seek common ground. This serves a triple purpose: demonstrating loyalty, expressing a commitment to self-improvement, and showcasing a balanced understanding of the situation, acknowledging that everyone has areas for growth. In situations where an individual refrains from signaling agreement through affirmative expressions such as 'yes,' 'agree,' 'aha,' or nonverbal cues like nodding or smiling, it suggests that our words may not have permeated their defense mechanisms.
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If you're playing defence, you assume someone else is playing offence, meaning that you feel they're trying to beat you. When you get defensive, you tend to stop listening, create tension or problems where it doesn't exist, and generally lose interest. All of these things create larger, long-lasting issues. If you approach these scenarios from a place of positive intent, your mindset will shift and hopefully open up a few doors you would have otherwise never even checked were open.
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Nonverbal cues of defensiveness in a team feedback session may include crossed arms, tense body language, defensive gestures (e.g., finger-pointing), avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, a defensive posture (leaning back), facial expressions like frowning or scowling, and interrupting others. These signals suggest resistance to feedback and a protective stance. Recognizing and addressing these cues is crucial for fostering open communication and constructive feedback within the team.
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One thing I've found helpful over the years is getting to know each member of your team well. It is very important to creat a one on one relationship with each team member,study their body language in different situations i.e when happy, excited, angry, etc. Doing so will help you figure out in an instant if any of your team member is uncomfortable and defensive even without saying a word. Knowing them well will also enable you know the best approach to take while talking to each team member. Creating an opened environment and putting up yourself first for any correction from your team is a good way to start. Remember to always practice supportive supervision.
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Defensiveness often arises at two main situations - one when the team member is afraid to admit his mistake and secondly if he is intimidated by the alignment among other team members. Some cues are avoiding eye contact, avoiding contributing ideas during team discussion, requesting time extension and some physical symptoms like sweating, nervousness and stammering of speech. Confrontation is NOT the best way to handle these, better to approach one on one at a slightly later time and address the issue. Remember - There is no "Right or Wrong" in Ideas and Team leader need to have this mindset
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During a team feedback session, it's important to be aware of nonverbal signals that could indicate defensiveness. Look out for crossed arms, tense body language or avoiding eye contact as these might suggest resistance. If teammates frequently interrupt, it could be a sign that they are uncomfortable with criticism. Facial expressions such as frowns or scowls might indicate disagreement or displeasure. Additionally, individuals who exhibit closed postures or physically distance themselves may be defensive. Pay attention to gestures like finger pointing, which could hint at the need to deflect blame. By being mindful of these nonverbal cues, we can effectively address defensiveness and promote open communication for constructive feedback.
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Determinadas reacciones son una forma de defensa ante situaciones en donde nos sentimos amenazados. Instintivamente el ser humano tiende a defenderse para aliviar la tensión. Por eso resulta.muy importante la gestión de emociones en el trabajo en equipo a fin de poder entender los distintos tamices que sesgan cada realidad y la subjetividad del otro . Creo que es fundamental el poder hacer consciente que el otro tiene sus ideas y fundamentos que resultan válidos , ni mejores ni peores , pero a veces distintos a los nuestros y esto no implica que nos estén atacando. Creo que resulta fundamental el respeto mutuo y la empatía a fin de lograr un buen trabajo en equipo , aún con puntos de vistas completamente distintos!
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Well, defensiveness always has 2 faces: 1. When faced with unfair criticism, disrespect, or unjust accusations, it becomes a necessary tool when used well. It means you are setting your boundaries, protecting your self-esteem, and seeking fair treatment. 2. However, when we use defensiveness on automatic mode for our get away, it becomes a barrier to both self-improvement and open communication. Instead of accepting feedbacks, we tend to go on defensive mode as excuses to deflect criticism. This prevent us from learning and growing. It's like building a wall around yourself that blocks out valuable feedback and progress. It's narcissistic behavior. Defensiveness is not completely bad when used well in some situations.
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Playing defence will definitely not help anyone in long run. At one point you will realise that it's you standing between your progress as well as your team's..
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At BabyCloud, we believe in turning feedback sessions into growth opportunities, not defensive stand-offs. Our secret? Watch the silent signals – the averted gazes and the uncharacteristic quietness can speak volumes about team comfort levels. We teach our leaders the art of calm and supportive communication, ensuring every piece of feedback is wrapped in empathy. Remember, your facial expressions can make or break the feedback's reception. So, we lead with smiles to foster a culture of openness. And we always own our part – because nothing disarms defensiveness like authenticity.
Defensiveness can be expressed through various nonverbal cues such as crossing arms or legs, frowning, rolling eyes, sighing, clenching fists or jaw, leaning back or turning away, nodding excessively, or interrupting. These behaviors could indicate that the person is not open to feedback and may feel attacked, offended, or misunderstood. Understanding these signs can help you better assess the situation and take appropriate action.
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Agree and disengagement that can be observed over time. I have also observed feedback taken onboard seemingly openly, but afterwards defensiveness can come out days later, not always in the moment
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Spotting defensiveness, especially in the hybrid work environment can be a challenge. Being able to observe body language and put it together with context is important. Listen for changes in the tone of voice, especially in response to what others are saying. Look for physical withdrawals as identified. If you are dealing with a multicultural team, it can be easy to misinterpret cues so be careful-avoiding eye contact is seen as a sign of respect for some. Folding arms may mean that someone is cold. Listen to the totality of communication (what is said) along with what is done to make sure you're on the right track.
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Tension is the biggest sign when someone is against a discussion point. Maybe it's in their knuckles, their back, or their jaw, but it's there. People who are also defensive tend to fidget as if they're trying to get a quick word in on a topic they may be against. The typical "teenage cue" is crossing arms or rolling eyes and it's a sign that they don't care or don't want to listen. One other cue of defensiveness can be non-verbal but environment interaction such as slamming a pen down on a table or pushing a chair back from a table. Defensive people tend to be on edge and will respond quicker than they can think.
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When a person is trying to defend himself or deflect assumptions about certain decisions they tend to slightly tilt their head to the left. Our brain has two spheres. A right one, used for analytical purposes, like solving math problems or critical thinking to find the root cause for problems. The left one is used for creativity, like drawing or painting, sculpting clay, or writing a story. When someone is tilting their head they are actually creating a story to throw people off track leading them away from themselves. Essentially they are lying.
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El lenguaje no verbal es fundamental para detectar una forma de defensa pasiva. La mirada , la rigidez en el cuerpo , la falta de atención son formas de mostrar desinterés. Es importante que todos se sientan relajados, cómodos y escuchados a fin de lograr un lugar de retroalimentación y aprendizaje. El ambiente tenso elimina la posibilidad de un diálogo constructivo y la alineación hacia objetivos comunes.
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A tentativa de se justificar o tempo todo, durante o feedback, também é um sinal de uma postura em defensiva. Quando não aceitamos o que nos está sendo dito, nos justificamos. Por vezes atribuindo a responsabilidade do ocorrido para o outro, culpabilizando o externo pelo que nos acontece. É realmente doloroso ouvir o que temos para melhorar e quando não nos conhecemos verdadeiramente, torna-se ainda mais desafiador receber feedbacks para desenvolvimento.
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Le langage non-verbal est imparable car là corps ne ment pas et apprendre à reconnaître les signaux pouvant mener au conflit est indispensable pour favoriser l’expression authentique verbale.
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Comunicamos o tempo inteiro e a linguagem não-verbal é a mais significativa; para isso, a presença é elemento chave e aliada a escuta, passam a ser ingredientes transformadores nas relações. Importante termos a consciência de que a confiança nasce da coerência entre a linguagem verbal e não-verbal.
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In a team feedback session, some nonverbal cues of defensiveness could include crossed arms or legs, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, tense facial expressions, or leaning away from the group. Defensive individuals may also exhibit closed-off body language, such as turning away from the speaker or creating physical barriers by placing objects between themselves and others.
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La correcta interpretación del lenguaje corporal es determinante Para identificar y gestionar de manera objetiva este tipo de comportamiento a fin de que no se aborde desde un punto de vista personal si no más bien profesional ya que la experiencia y madurez en el manejo del tema serán influyentes tanto en la persona que recibe la retroalimentación como en el resto del equipo de trabajo.
If you notice these cues in yourself or others, you can try some strategies to reduce defensiveness and foster a more constructive feedback culture. Expressing empathy and appreciation can help build rapport and trust, while using "I" statements and avoiding blaming or accusing can prevent defensiveness and hostility. Asking open-ended questions and listening actively encourages dialogue and understanding, while focusing on facts and behaviors, not personality or character, avoids personal attacks and judgments. Providing specific and balanced feedback can highlight strengths and areas for improvement. By applying these strategies, you can make feedback more effective and positive, thus enhancing team communication and collaboration.
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We started this practice at work when we ask if they are open to feedback before we give it. Often times, we’re giving feedback when the employee is not in the mental state to receive it and learn from it. Be proactive and allow criticism and feedback to be objective, not subjective. Instead of saying “I didn’t like your music playlist because it had inappropriate songs,” say, “Your music playlist had songs with obscene words and lyrics.” That’ll help build trust and allow for future feedback. The feedback is simply to make them better at their job. It’s not an attack on them as a person, and you need to make sure they feel that way with your feedback.
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Set the right tone: Emphasize learning and growth over fault-finding. Focus on behaviour, not personality: Frame feedback as observations of actions, not attacks on character. Use "I" statements Actively listen
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I like to clearly state that there will be no blame assigned for issues and want to focus on facts. What happened, what was the cause, and how do we address it. The key is to make sure no one on the team is blamed for a mistake during or after a discussion.
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Para evitar que a pessoa fique na defensiva durante o feedback é necessário que sejam trazidos pontos pautados em números e que os mesmos sejam apresentados durante a sessão de retorno. Não pode haver achismos por parte de quem aplica o feedback. Devem ser demosntrados fatos e diante deles usar argumentações que não deixem margem para dúvidas ou interpretações. Além disso, diante das justificativas que indicam que o colaborador esteja na defensiva, pode ser pedido para que ele apresente durante a conversa exemplos das atitudes que ele teve que comprovam as desculpas que ele esteja dando. Se os números que forem apresentados estiverem bem explicados, não terá o que se argumentar e isso irá quebrar a postura defensiva do funcionário.
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To reduce defensiveness in a team, foster a positive environment by emphasizing constructive feedback, active listening, and mutual respect. Encourage open dialogue, acknowledge diverse perspectives, and focus on shared goals. Promote a culture that values continuous improvement, making team members more receptive to feedback and fostering a collaborative atmosphere.
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Mistakes are unavoidable. If the team company treats them as problems and blames people vs using this mistake as a learning experience and together figure out a solution through process iteration then the team will never be defensive if a mistake or problem arises.
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A maneira como comunicamos o Feedback e abraçar as falhas e imperfeições de si e do outro, gera confiança e conexão. Compartilhar histórias alivia a tensão e a escuta qualificada chega sempre como o caminho da transformação. Vulnerabilidade como ato de coragem e não de fraqueza. Solução conjunta de novos rumos e ações cuidadosas a serem observadas. Sentimento de pertencimento gera engajamento.
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It depends on active listening, choosing the right timings, focusing on solutions and acknowledging the other persons valid points.
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The way you can stop being defensive is: Try and keep a calm mind and not get dragged away by what the other person is saying. See things from the other person's perspective and think what you'd have done, if you were in their shoes.
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In my experience self-reflection is key for effective teamwork. You have to very vigilant not to over step boundaries Striking a balance between leadership and empathy helps foster a comfortable environment, and attentive listening helps identify cues that someone might be feeling defensive, often evident in over-justification of their tasks
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may encounter defensiveness in a team feedback session. To respond to defensiveness and diffuse the situation, it’s important to acknowledge the person's feelings and perspective, which can show respect and validation. Reframing the feedback as an opportunity for growth and learning can also shift the mindset from threat to challenge. Additionally, seeking clarification and feedback on your feedback can invite feedback and feedback. Offering support and resources can demonstrate your commitment and willingness to help, while following up and following through can show your consistency and accountability. By using these techniques, you can handle defensiveness in a professional and respectful way, while maintaining a positive team relationship.
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Listen. Intently. If you notice there's a shift in the room towards the defensive, take clear notes of everything being said and listen. Don't listen to respond; listen to understand. If you're responsible for the meeting and the team, it's up to you to diffuse the situation and make sure everyone's points are brought up in a valid, constructive way. We don't have to like the outcome, but we can get there without feeling attacked.
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Say "I understand how you feel" or "I understand where you are coming from" Then explain to them why you are saying this and why it is for everyone's benefit. Put them in your shoes by asking, "I understand. But how will you say if you were me?" It will lower their defensiveness when they begin to see things from your perspective. Most importantly, don't brush them off. Let them finish what they want to say.
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Acknowledge their feelings Reframe the situation Ask clarifying questions: Seek deeper understanding before jumping to conclusions. Suggest alternative perspectives: Offer different ways to interpret the situation.
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The only way to handle defensiveness is to always act as an example. In other words, the first step is always to respond with active listening and empathy to determine the underlying reasons for the insight. Unfortunately, there is no universal fit for every situation; doubtless, the outcomes always depend on the willingness to change the different parts of the equation. These behaviours are always rooted in more complex problems (for instance, low self-esteem or lack of empathy) that must be addressed to improve the situation in the latter extremes.
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Acknowledging and respecting individuals is critical and necessary. All parties need to feel valued and respected and also listened to. If this is not felt by anyone of the parties then the situation will endure hard long drawn out negotiations
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When defensiveness arises, respond calmly and empathetically. Acknowledge the team member's feelings and concerns, reiterating that the goal is collective improvement. Redirect the focus to specific behaviors or situations, avoiding personal attacks. Emphasize the collaborative nature of the feedback process.
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Address defensiveness by remaining composed, expressing feelings, restating the positive intent, and concentrating on particular actions. Promote candid communication, make an effort to comprehend their viewpoint, and work together to find answers. Stress the group's development as a whole and the value of feedback in accomplishing common objectives.
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When encountering defensiveness in a team feedback session, my approach is to first acknowledge the person's feelings and perspective. This shows respect and validation. I try to reframe the feedback as a growth opportunity, shifting the mindset from threat to challenge. Seeking clarification on my feedback and inviting feedback on it can foster open communication. Offering support and resources demonstrates my commitment to help. Following up and following through shows consistency and accountability. Employing these techniques allows me to handle defensiveness professionally and respectfully, maintaining positive team relationships.
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Be a good listener. Don’t offer solutions to every problem. Take time to walk away from a situation and think. Allow others to come up with solutions and try them.
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A escuta ativa é uma boa estratégia. Saber exatamente o que incomoda e buscar outras maneiras de se conversar sobre o assunto. Não deve haver procrastinação, e sempre ser verdadeiro. Apenas devemos nos adaptar a novos cenários durante uma conversa.
Feedback is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice. To enhance your feedback skills, you should seek feedback regularly and proactively, give feedback frequently and respectfully, reflect on feedback and apply it, and review feedback and measure progress. Doing so can help you develop a growth mindset, hone your feedback-giving style, learn from feedback, evaluate feedback, and celebrate your feedback-related achievements. Ultimately, this practice will help boost your team communication and performance, as well as foster a feedback-rich environment.
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Role-playing feedback scenarios and using self-reflection tools can help you hone your communication skills and build a more open and receptive team environment.
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When providing feedback to a team member exhibiting nonverbal cues of defensiveness, it's essential to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Begin by acknowledging their feelings and ensuring a safe and non-threatening environment. Use open-ended questions to encourage them to express their perspective and concerns. Stay calm, maintaining a neutral tone and avoiding accusatory language. Focus on specific behaviors or situations rather than making generalized statements. Offer constructive feedback with specific examples and suggest collaborative solutions. Pausing to allow them time to process and respond helps in diffusing defensiveness, fostering a more open and receptive atmosphere for productive feedback exchange.
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Conversas difíceis serão, quase sempre, desafiadoras. Notícia boa: são os desafios que nos possibilitam crescer, nos desenvolver e nos aprimorar! Sendo assim, a assertividade em dar/receber feedbacks será alcançada na medida em que praticarmos, em que nos desafiarmos a praticar. Além disso, uma boa dose de autoconhecimento é indispensável, afinal só podemos oferecer ao outro o que temos dentro de nós!
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Open dialogue with an understanding that you may have an individual that has great knowledge and experience and unfortunately they don’t have great skills in communication
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Always be open to feedback and showing that openness to your team, regardless if was during your periodic meetings or keeping your office door 'open', or open to having a Teams call at any time. You want to encourage communication, regardless of priority. They will eventually learn what's important.
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Em minhas experiências com feedback, acredito que nutrir um ambiente de confiança e parceria com quem irá receber, desenvolver habilidades de comunicação, empatia e formas para tornar o feedback uma ação de desenvolvimento real ajuda no crescimento e desempenho de quem recebe. O uso do feedback constante, não apenas para correção, mas para evidenciar pontos positivos da equipe, assim como da equipe em relação ao gestor é uma forma de tornar mais natural o recebimento do mesmo no ambiente de trabalho e criar uma cultura forte e transparente sobre as necessidades da equipe . Enquanto líderes precisamos estar abertos para receber feedbacks também e mostrar pelo exemplo que o trabalho em uma equipe com confiança gera maiores resultados.
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Developing effective feedback skills involves continuous practice. Conduct regular team feedback sessions, encouraging open communication. Provide training on giving and receiving feedback, emphasizing the importance of constructive criticism for professional growth.
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To practice feedback skills, proactively seek and give feedback regularly and respectfully, reflect on and apply the feedback received, and review feedback to measure progress. This helps in developing a growth mindset, refining feedback style, learning from comments, evaluating feedback, and celebrating achievements related to feedback. This practice ultimately enhances team communication and performance, fostering a feedback-rich environment.
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Asmaul Husnah
Experienced Vendor Management | Business Operations | Writer for Journey Journal Blog
(edited)Feedback is something we seek and give. To improve our capability and work output, we need to educate ourselves to seek feedback of it. We will learn not only how people see our work result, but also the way they address the feedback which can be added to our knowledge in giving feedback to others. We shall give our feedback respectfully and relatable to what topic/issue/matters that being asked for. We also need to seek feedback proactively and reflect to it to really understand what we need to improve for a better performance.
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A prática periódica do feedback tem o poder de trazer muitas habilidades para os integrantes de uma equipe de trabalho. As habilidades geralmente aparecem com prática, então é muito importante a constância dos feedbacks. Lembrando que antes de aplicar um feedback, é necessário conhecer muito bem quem irá receber. Feedbacks sempre são bem vindos.
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There are non-verbal cues that show defensiveness in a team feedback session and we should take care of that as teammates. There are moments when someone is showing defensiveness in feedback meeting because he/she could be struggling to maintain the deadlines and feedback to improve at that moment could led to additional delay. Further , Sometime , Some feedback is given considering the short term goals without looking for long term prospective which also led to Defensive Acts. Some Non-verbal cues would be , 1) Putting the Feedback in Doubt 2) Asking the Teammates to review again the Feedbacks Given 3) Try to Denies the Feedbacks 4) Suggesting Deadlines when Feedback is given 5) Making Exhausted Facial Expressions
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💡Body Language: Crossed arms or legs indicate defensiveness. 💡Facial Expressions: Defensive team members may display tense facial muscles, narrowed eyes, or frowns. 💡Tone of Voice: Defensive individuals often use a defensive or confrontational tone. 💡Interrupting: Frequently interrupting others suggests a defensive stance. 💡Minimal Acknowledgment: Lack of nodding or acknowledgment may signify resistance to feedback. 💡Avoidance of Eye Contact: Not maintaining eye contact indicates discomfort or defensiveness. 💡Justifying or Excusing: Excessive justifications or excuses reveal a defensive mindset. 💡Closed Posture: Turning away or creating physical barriers suggests defensiveness.
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Para atingir os objetivos do feedback é preciso compreender o que é essa poderosa ferramenta de gestão e saber quando usa-la. Feedback não é apenas para apontar falhas mas também para reconhecimento. Tampouco é para ser feito apenas ao término de um projeto ou no fechamento de um ciclo. Uma vez presenciei uma frase de um gestor que disse para um funcionário que se o mesmo não melhorasse uma determinada competência, que o gestor iria aplicar um feedback no colaborador. Essa pessoa disse isso por ver o feedback como uma punição. Pensamentos assim fazem as pessoas ficarem na defensiva e não gostarem desse momento. Precisamos entender o que é um feedback para fazer bem feito e gerar crescimento para o funcionário ao invés de medo.
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Consider implementing a feedback culture within the team, where sharing insights and receiving input is a norm. Foster an atmosphere where feedback is seen as a tool for enhancement rather than criticism. Regularly reassess and adapt feedback processes to align with the evolving dynamics of the team.
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Non-verbal cues of a defensive attitude during a team feedback session may include: Facial Expressions: Forehead or nose wrinkles. Furrowed brows. Avoidant or fleeting eye contact. Grimaces or negative mouth movements. Body Language: Crossed arms, a protective gesture. Physical withdrawal, distancing from the group. Muscle tension, such as tense shoulders. Leaning the body backward, a signal of rejection. Gestures: Rejection gestures, like pushing away with the hand. Frequent touching of the face, a sign of nervousness. Restless object manipulation...
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There is a reason why people get defensive. It’s all about human psychology. Some people will get more defensive and closed off the more you probe them not to be. Think about it ! What triggers defensiveness? Being afraid to get into trouble, being ridiculed, undermined, disciplined etc. If you eliminate all of those triggers, people will be more likely to own up to their mistakes and to be open to feedback.
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During team feedback sessions, identifying non-verbal cues indicating a defensive stance is crucial for effective communication: Facial Expressions: - Forehead or nose wrinkles. - Furrowed brows. - Avoidant or fleeting eye contact. Body Language: - Crossed arms, a defensive posture. - Muscle tension, notably in tense shoulders. - Leaning backward, signaling rejection or resistance. Gestures: - Rejection gestures, such as pushing away with the hand. - Frequent face touching, indicative of nervousness. - Restless object manipulation, reflecting discomfort. Recognizing these non-verbal signals aids in understanding team members' emotional responses, facilitating more constructive and empathetic feedback discussions.
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It is also best not to label the person as “you are being defensive” & “don’t be so defensive” as this could aggravate the situation further and in some cultures this could be confrontational.
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Non-verbal cues are very important, especially considering how they match or mismatch with verbal communication. Yet, a master of nonverbal communication may alter them on purpose, passing misleading messages that puzzle or confuse the audience. As with any communication, it is important to be a good listener, try to have a complete and open vision, catch and analyze signs of contradiction.
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Remember, context matters. Consider the individual's personality, past experiences, and the overall team dynamic when interpreting nonverbals. Open communication is a two-way street. Encourage everyone to give and receive feedback constructively. Building a culture of trust and psychological safety can help prevent defensiveness in the first place.
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