From Unconscious Incompetence to Unconscious Competence

My 8 year old daughter Saisha is these days reading "Who Moved My Cheese" and she is just loving it. I am so proud of my little princess! She is developing a habit of reading meaningful books that are helping her grow as a better person. By the time she reaches her teens, she would have developed a positive mindset, a positive attitude toward life and the challenges that life throws to us... a positive trait, that a lot of adults are not able to develop in their entire lifetime!

Coming back to the book, how beautifully Dr. Spencer Johnson has weaved the story of two mice - Sniff and Scurry; and two humans - Hem and Haw running in a maze looking for cheese. For those who still don't know or haven't yet read the book, the four characters live in a "maze" which is basically a representation of our environment in which we all live and the "cheese" that they are looking for, is a metaphor of the happiness and success that so many people keep chasing, yet find elusive! The real message comes when these four characters do find their "cheese".

It is said that the true test of a man's character is when he has power, when he has the authority, when he has everything that he wants. In the story, the two mice stay rooted to the ground, realize the fact that the cheese has been put there by someone else and does not belong to them, so it can be taken away anytime by the one who put it there in the first place! They realize the fact that the situation is not in their control, but someone else is controlling it.

On the other hand, Hem and Haw though are initially happy and all excited about their success but slowly, they start becoming content with what they have found and in fact, with time they even become arrogant and start feeling entitled to that cheese. They start believing that the cheese is theirs for ever and ever and as such did not even think of keeping any Plan B.

One fine day, it turns out that the four characters find their cheese has vanished. Its gone! The mice are not affected as they were prepared for this, they had been noticing that the supply of cheese had been diminishing over time and were ready for this eventuality. But the humans feel betrayed as they thought the cheese was theirs for ever! They feel victimised! They yell, they scream... But they do nothing to come out of that situation, they just... hem and haw... and strangely keep hoping that "their" cheese would come back! They keep coming everyday to the same place hoping "someone" would put their cheese back and everyday are disappointed as the cheese just does not come back! They do not realize the fact that it is up to them to find their cheese and they need to move on to a different place to find it because just by coming back to same place everyday, they would not find any new cheese.

We cannot get new results if we keep taking same old actions! If we want something new in life, we have to do something new in life!

The two mice keep things simple, do not overanalyze the situation, do not indulge in paralysis of analysis (as the humans start doing). They just realize that they need to move on to find cheese elsewhere and have since moved on to a new cheese station, found abundant cheese there, even as humans keep struggling and suffering in same old cheese station.

Reading this, I was wondering how true and apt this story is about a lot of us today! There are so many of us who just refuse to accept any change in life, who refuse to move on for the better, who refuse to give up a good life temporarily to attain a better life permanently, who refuse to get out of our comfort zone and stay rooted to where we are, thinking that this is it... we have found the zenith, we have found the ultimate, without realizing that we are limiting ourselves by our own thoughts.

My mentors, the absolutely amazingly awesome couple RV and RV always talk about the evolution of a human being in terms of self introspection and mental growth. They talk about how we grow (those of us who choose to grow) through four different stages...

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence

In this stage we don't know what we don't know. It is the situation of a frog in the well. He doesn't even know what world exists outside of that well! So are some of us... We get up, complain about the day, get dressed, go to work, complain about the traffic on the way, reach office, complain about the work/colleagues/boss at office, come back, watch some TV, complain about the world, complain about the financial situation, complain about few more things around, and finally go to sleep in order to wake up the next day and start all over again! That... is the life for a lot of us! The funny thing is that though we do complain about anything and everything around, we rarely do anything about it. These people are like Hem and Haw in Dr. Spencer's story, oblivious to the outside world. They don't even know what opportunities exist outside their closed-mind loop. They just keep crying over and over, indulge in self-pity but are still content to stay where they are!

People in this stage get so used to their routine life that they sometimes don't even want to know what opportunities exist outside of their well. In fact, they don't even realize if something is happening inside their well. It is only when the water in that well has dried up, do they realize that now they are left with nothing. Haven't we all heard that we should dig our well before we are thirsty! But unfortunately, some of us get so used to living in our comfort zone that by the time we realize our well has dried, we have been rendered so useless that we have lost all desires, all motives for life and are destined to stay in that rut forever!

Hem and Haw loose the cheese but do not know what to do. They keep coming back again and again, in the vain hope that someone would just put it back there for them. When that does not happen, they start chipping in the walls of the room hoping they would find cheese in the next room and put lot of efforts in doing that.

This is the typical trait of a person in the stage of Unconscious Incompetence, Lot of efforts but no productivity. If you do not have a plan for yourself, then you are bound to get frustrated with your efforts because those efforts aren't leading you anywhere. You can feel happy saying "I am very busy" but the question is... busy, doing what? People here do not understand that there is a difference between activity and productivity!

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence

In this stage we know what we don't know. The most difficult journey is from Stage 1 to Stage 2. So many of us love to believe that we know everything about everything! But now we have to accept the fact that there are so many things that we don't know! We begin to realize what else exists outside of our realm, we begin to understand the need to adapt, the need to learn and the need to mould ourselves in accordance with the changing times.

However, despite all that realization of change happening around, some of us still want to hold on to our past. We choose to keep crying about the situation we are in, refusing to do anything... perhaps because we are scared to do something new, something which we haven't yet done before, something for which we have to come out of our comfort zone. These people are scared about the unknown, afraid of doing something thinking "what would my friends say? what would he say? what would she say?" And thus in order to avoid "being humiliated" some of us still stay put in that rut throughout our lives. We know that our cheese is gone, but we hope against hope that someone would just put that cheese back for us, rather than moving on to look for new cheese. That's because these people focus more on what could go wrong, rather than focusing on what could go right ! Exactly like Hem, in order to cover their fear, they continue to live in a state of denial, refusing to acknowledge the situation, let alone do something about it. They give all sorts of excuses... I am too old, I am too young, I am too naive, I am too this, I am too that, blah blah blah.

But some of us start realizing that we ourselves were responsible for what happened to us, for the circumstances we are in. We realize and accept our incompetence and more importantly we are willing to change, we are willing to do something about the situation that we are in, we are willing to take charge of our family, our life, our finances, our future, our success! We are willing to move on to look for new cheese! We realize that if it is to be, it is up to me !

These people are like Haw when he too realizes that it is he himself who should have been more observant to what was happening around and now starts thinking about what he can do next to improve the circumstances. He now begins to understand the difference between activity and productivity, understands that he needs to have a plan and start working on it. Such people start visualizing themselves having found the new cheese and enjoying it. Instead of wondering "who moved my cheese?" they start wondering "why didn't I get up and move with the cheese, sooner?" Realizing the fact that if they could find the cheese once, they can find it again one more time, these people are now moving on to Stage 3.

Stage 3: Conscious Competence

In this stage we apply what we know and we are now making conscious efforts to do that, to improve ourselves, to grow ourselves, to make those changes in ourselves that are required. We might be doing something that we have never done before, we might be trying something new here. We might still have some fear (and it is OK to have some amount of rational fear) but we are developing that courage. We are beginning to realize that courage is not absence of fear, rather courage is having that fear, but taking an action in spite of that fear! Unlike people who are stuck in Stage 2, we now start focusing on what could go right, instead of what could go wrong! We are working on ourselves, trying our best, to overcome... to become... and sometimes even our best may not be enough! We might have to do more than "doing our best" which entails doing "whatever it takes". We are now ready for that because we are developing that faith and are understanding the difference between faith and fear...

Faith is believing in something even though we can't see it.

Fear is believing in something even though we can't see it.

On the face of it both sound similar, but faith is driven by positive emotions while fear is driven by negative emotions.

When Haw ventures out looking for new cheese, he too was scared initially. Hem was making situation even worse for him by telling him what all could go wrong. In spite of all that, Haw decides that it is time for him to step up and move on. He understands that he has a better chance of finding new cheese for himself if he goes out and looks for it, rather than staying there in the old place and waiting for someone to come, take mercy on him and give him some. And move on... he does, even if that meant leaving his good friend Hem (who, all the while had been just discouraging him) behind.

Sometimes, we have to understand that if our so called friends are pulling us down, if they are not supporting us, not encouraging us in our endeavours to go for a good life, perhaps, we need to take that tough decision of leaving them behind and moving on! As the famous Chinese proverb says "those who say it can't be done, should get out of the way of those who are doing it".

As Haw overcomes his fear, he starts realizing that what he was afraid of was not as bad as he had imagined it to be. In fact, he begins to enjoy the journey. He begins to enjoy his new self... the more confident, the more powerful, the more positive self.

Stage 4: Unconscious Competence

In this stage we apply what we know without even thinking about it. It is now a second nature to us. This is the final stage of our journey, where we actually can now teach others about how they can go on this journey. But we now are aware that we need to be continuously keeping a track of what is happening around us so that we don't once again fall into the trap of getting stuck in unconscious incompetence.

When Haw reaches this stage, even though he had more than enough supply of cheese available to him, still he often went out into the Maze and explored new areas to stay in touch with what was happening around him... just to avoid repetition of mistakes he made earlier.

We live in a world where the only thing constant is CHANGE. I heard a highly successful entrepreneur recently made a vey profound statement when he said that today stability demands flexibility. So true... We need to adapt, we need to embrace the change for good. Change in our mindset, change in our perceptions. What worked in 1980s wouldn't work now. What is working now wouldn't work in 2025. As Dr. Spencer says in his book, "those who do not change, become extinct."

Hem and Haw had become so dependent on the cheese they found first time that they had made up all of their future plans based on that cheese. But when that cheese disappeared, all their plans were just left like that, abandoned! They didn't have any Plan B for their future! Are you too like them? Immersed and engrossed in vain self pride about the cheese you have at present (but that belongs to someone else and is there only as long as that someone wants you to have it), or do you have any Plan B? Would you be able to survive if the cheese that you have, is suddenly taken away from you? If you think you can, for how long? If no, then what are you doing about it? Are you prepared for that change?

Please leave in the comments section below, what do you think you need to change, in order to move from a good life to a better life... to make sure that you do have a good Plan B for your spouse, for your kids, for your family and for your future...

Image courtesy: focuspocusnow.com