Sycophancy - A 101!!! :-)

My readers will recall a post I made around Competence vs Confidence. Competence is not necessarily or automatically rewarded, but Confidence gets noticed and over time gets rewarded. In this article, I show you another way. It is also called sycophancy and politely referred to as the art of aligning with your boss. You may not agree nor endorse this, but this way exists and many competent folks have gotten ahead using this method.

Disclaimer No.1 -

I have been terrible at this all through my life. Tact was something that I sorely lacked. And besides I was/am highly sensitive to comments / barbs from the boss. And to top it all I was very poor with the power of the repartee. So I was a sitting duck almost always with the boss & his cronies.

So what am I doing writing an article on this subject? Well, I am skilled at listening to expert friends who have made the job of aligning with the boss, into a fine art. And I am able to write that out in a fairly engaging manner for my readers. It's also called Curating!! :-)

Disclaimer No.2 -

There is a big difference in the demeanour and behaviour of most leaders at MNCs and those at family owned firms in India (barring a few exceptions, particularly if its a Parsi owned firm). In a family owned firm, your CTC will be displayed on an imaginary LCD screen just above your head, for the founder / owner to view it and decide whether he is getting value from you. There is no concept of a fixed set of work hours, weekends or even vacations. The owner decides almost everything. S/he has integrated work and life and expects you to do likewise.

My curated experience sharing is largely for the MNCs, the "reasonable" firms & with bosses who are not founders. If you are directly reporting to the founder in an Indian company, my friend advises that his suggestions and actions have to be raised to the power of 10 or best ignored - they will NOT WORK. :-)

So we start with Rule No.1.

In the Hindi language spoken in India, a job is called NAUKRI. And the Hindi word for Servant is NAUKAR!! So ladies and gentlemen, as you start on this process of aligning with your boss, remember that Employers (and bosses) somewhere associate with the word Servant when it comes to you, whether you like it or not. So please do not get carried away by the title on your business card or the letter of appointment.

Naukari and therefore Naukar is what you are!!!!

Rule No.2

Whatever you may think of yourself or your boss, remember that s/he IS the BOSS. You are NOT. It's much like the batsman who has been given out in cricket. You may think you are not out, but the finger has been lifted and you have to make the long walk back to the pavilion. So you need to accept and respect this fact. You have no choice. Question is will you make the effort to make the whole process of dealing with your boss stress free and beneficial for you?

My expert friend also hastens to add a definition of who is your boss. In his lexicon, it is that person who can impact your salary AND who approves your expense statements. Your task is to align with this individual. Now, in real life, most senior bosses will have 2-3 favourites around them; you know, those who are MORE EQUAL than the others? Your first job is to get on the right side of these cronies, he says. At the very least you have to ensure that they are not your detractors. This then becomes your first order of business as you seek to align yourself with your boss.

Remember that your boss is as human as anyone else and is subject to hero(ine) worship & flattery. (Frankly, I have not been able to achieve this to any useful degree, ever in my professional career thus far......and its too late now. I am sure it's a mental adjustment that I have never been able to make.)

He says, when you leave for the office, do remember to leave behind your ego and sense of justice / fair play AT HOME when it comes to dealing with your boss.. It may not be possible for everyone to do so, but whoever is able to, leads a considerably stress free life at work.

He then proceeded to give me a demo to drive the point home. So here it goes.

Boss has given you a task and you have done your very best on it. You have worked through the night, done lots of research and you think its worth a prize, if not a Nobel. And when you present it to the boss, s/he tears into you, in front of 5 colleagues. You don't want to look around and see their faces. S/he rants and raves and makes you feel completely worthless. At the end of this roasting, most of us are either internally cursing the boss and / or saying that "this person or company is not worth working for / at" or something along these lines, right?

Well, my expert friend says, you need to steel yourself and let it all wash over you. Do not worry about your friends, they are not thinking about you, one bit. They are thinking of the day when their turn will come. They are actually feeling for you. What my friend would do is this, "Boss I am so sorry to have disappointed you. Clearly I have let you down otherwise you would never have yelled the way you did today. I want you to tell me what exactly I did wrong and help me correct myself so that I do not disappoint you at another time."

Look at what he has done. He has figuratively prostrated at the boss's feet. Surrendered to him and said, take me under your shelter. That is Strategy!!!! Flattery? Yes of course (otherwise you would not have yelled.....etc and please tell me what I did wrong.....meaning - You are Balance and Patience Personified and You know everything that is to know in the world)

Now the boss is not an idiot. He likes the surrender and the prostration but does not want to appear so. So s/he will likely brush it all off gruffly saying "stop all this drama & do some good work to start with" or something to that effect. Don't get put off or fazed by it says my friend. You have sunk the hook in he says, wait for some time to reel it in. Wait for a day or so and go back to the boss when s/he is alone and ask again, "About the other day boss, please tell me how I can improve."

S/he will tell some cock and bull stuff that you pretend to hang onto every word and go back. You have won him / her over in that instance. Of course this is just one example and one instance. This has to be constantly practiced at every possible occasion.

Now this is not the stuff that everyone can pull off with élan. It needs behaviour changes and lots of practice and rehearsing. And also following all the rules that I have stated above. Also would be good to have a friend who has been on that path successfully. Because when you squirm at doing something s/he will be there to egg you on.

Not everyone's cup of tea, not mine for sure. But for those willing to play the game, my friend says, "Trust me you will live a stress free life"

Assumptions - you have to be generally competent. Incompetence cannot be compensated through this methodology. And it is good to have an area of specialization that the boss values.

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