In a nutshell
With its handsome chalk façade, the grade II* listed Danesfield House is a big white wedding cake of a hotel that sits high above the Thames just outside Marlow, in Buckinghamshire. In 2014, in what must be the apogee of celebrity endorsements, it hosted the UK wedding reception of George and Amal Clooney. The drinks menu still includes the cocktails served at the party; the lipsmackingly delectable George (the drink, that is) is made with tequila, lemon vodka, lime juice and ginger ale, and is light and citrusy with a smoky undertow; the Amal — as if you care — contains vanilla vodka, passion fruit liqueur and lime.
The large, purpose-built Spa Illuminata sits in a separate modern building and is open to local members and guests. Its treatments have a bespoke feel; therapists pick products from three ranges (Darphin, Aromatherapy Associates and the Swiss brand La Vallée) to suit you.
What’s it like?
The Tudor-style mansion was built by the son of a soap powder magnate in 1901, and ticks every country house box — beautiful setting, 65 acres of pristine grounds, fountains tinkling, bees buzzing in the wisteria, footsteps crunching on gravel paths, creaky floorboards. It wasn’t very different when it was commandeered by the RAF’s intelligence unit during the Second World War — Churchill’s daughter Sarah was one of the WAAFs poring over reconnaissance photographs. The spa is less atmospheric, but does the basics well. The 20m swimming pool has classical frescoes and views of the gardens, and there is a steam room, sauna, whirlpool and shower right beside it. The one chink in the armour is the relaxation room, which is small and houses a second steam room and sauna, making it baking hot and a bit claustrophobic.
Who goes?
Danesfield’s secluded location and five-star rating have attracted Tom Hanks, Nicole Kidman, Dame Maggie Smith, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Emma Thompson. FC Barcelona have also stayed there for a training camp. Mainly, though, the guests are couples on short breaks and small groups of women treating themselves to a spa weekend.
The treatments
I opted for one of Spa Iluminata’s signature treatments, the Danesfield House Trilogy. The first of three steps was a back exfoliation using salt and coffee grounds. After that was removed with hot towels, a 25-minute back massage using Aromatherapy Associates oil and ten-minute head massage set me up nicely for the final element, a bespoke facial. My ageing skin is permanently dry so my therapist, Sophie, concentrated on rehydration using Darphin products. After a thorough cleanse and exfoliation, there came a facial massage, followed by a mask, which was left to work during a hand and arm massage. (It is a very hands-on, massage-centric treatment — at one point I heard the cartilage in my nose squeak as my face was covered.) After the mask was removed, serum and moisturiser completed the process. My skin felt a bit laden with products, but I was wonderfully relaxed thanks to all that massaging.
Advertisement
The lengthy treatment list includes anti-ageing light therapy, a Darphin men’s facial, reflexology, and body wraps and scrubs (including a treatment that is suitable for pregnant women), as well as facials, massages, waxing, manicures and pedicures.
What are the rooms like?
My newly refurbished stable duplex suite was as plush as it sounds and very tasteful. The living room was enormous, with a dining table and lots of seating. It was done out in neutral shades — subtle oyster-coloured wallpaper, mushroom-coloured carpet, dark wood furniture, a large padded headboard in sable silk, with the odd bit of blue (curtains, lampshades) thrown in. The bed had a Hypnos mattress and was dressed in crisp white linen. The only possible enhancement would be the view of the river that some of the 79 rooms enjoy.
What about the food?
It’s all about British classics, some quite simple but competently prepared — think cod and chips, pork cutlet with fondant potatoes and greens, or seabass with spinach. The menu fits the surroundings; the restaurant is split between an oak-panelled dining room (designed by Anouska Hempel) and a glass orangery with views of the garden. I started with creamy cauliflower soup, which was livened up with herb chantilly, and then an unremarkable, but enjoyable sirloin steak with chunky chips, a mushroom and tomato.
The lowdown
Danesfield House is a member of the Small Luxury Hotels of the World group. Double rooms cost from £214 a night B&B or £284 half-board (0800 0482314, slh.com/danesfield). The 80-minute Danesfield House Trilogy treatment is £135.