In an interview with InStyle for the magazine's November issue, Kristen Stewart spoke candidly about her experience of coming out as queer while being such a high-profile public figure and the pressure she's felt to be a good representative of the LGBTQA+ community.

For the cover story, Stewart was interviewed by the director of her upcoming film Happiest Season, Clea Duvall, who asked if the actress's personal experiences drew her to the project about a woman bringing her girlfriend home for Christmas despite not having come out to her family yet. “Yeah. The first time I ever dated a girl, I was immediately being asked if I was a lesbian,” Stewart confided. “And it's like, ‘God, I'm 21 years old.’ I felt like maybe there were things that have hurt people I've been with. Not because I felt ashamed of being openly gay but because I didn't like giving myself to the public, in a way. It felt like such thievery. This was a period of time when I was sort of cagey.” Stewart previously dated actors Michael Angarano and Robert Pattinson, singer Soko, and VFX producer Alicia Cargile, all relationships she went to great lengths to keep private.

She added, “Even in my previous relationships, which were straight, we did everything we could to not be photographed doing things—things that would become not ours. So I think the added pressure of representing a group of people, of representing queerness, wasn't something I understood then. Only now can I see it. Retrospectively, I can tell you I have experience with this story. But back then I would have been like, ‘No, I'm fine. My parents are fine with it. Everything's fine.’ That's bullshit. It's been hard. It's been weird. It's that way for everyone."

When asked whether she feels like she has to be a spokesperson for the LGBTQA+ community, Stewart explains, "I did more when I was younger, when I was being hounded about labeling myself. I had no reticence about displaying who I was. I was going out every day knowing I'd be photographed while I was being affectionate with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to talk about it."

"I did feel an enormous pressure, but it wasn't put on me by the [LGBTQ+] community," she continued. "People were seeing those pictures and reading these articles and going, ‘Oh, well, I need to be shown.’ I was a kid, and I felt personally affronted. Now I relish it. I love the idea that anything I do with ease rubs off on somebody who is struggling. That shit's dope! When I see a little kid clearly feeling themselves in a way that they wouldn't have when I grew up, it makes me skip."

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