What Are the 6 Types of Attraction?

Although it's common to think of attraction in a sexual or romantic context, humans experience physical, aesthetic, intellectual, and emotional types of attraction, as well—and sometimes, a mix of all six. Learn about the six types of attraction and how they can affect your relationships.

What Is Attraction?

People commonly think of "attraction" in a sexual context. However, humans experience attraction in different ways—six of them, to be exact, plus combinations thereof. Understanding the ways in which you feel attraction can help you strengthen your self-awareness and discover what you need in relationships.

Physical Attraction

Physical attraction involves a desire to touch or be touched. It often centers on the desire to be around other people and to show love and affection through physical touch. Physical attraction is not the same as sexual attraction, although they share some similarities.

Whereas sexual attraction focuses on becoming involved sexually, physical attraction focuses on other forms of touch that are not necessarily sexual. Hugging, kissing, and other physical forms of physical affection are a few examples of how this type of attraction may be expressed.

Emotional Attraction

Emotional attraction involves having an affinity for another person based on their personality or other inner characteristics. When you are emotionally attracted to someone, you often feel a desire to learn more about them because of who they are as a person and not because of their physical appearance.

Research suggests that emotional attraction can play a pivotal role in the success of romantic relationships. One study found that being emotionally accessible was more important than being sexually accessible. Couples who lacked this emotional connection were more likely to break up.

Being emotionally attracted to other people can also help in the formation and maintenance of relationships over the long term. When you are more emotionally invested in another person, you are more likely to ask questions and pay attention to the thing they are interested in.

When you invest more of your energy into a relationship, you are more likely to build a deeper intimacy that supports a deeper, longer-lasting connection.

Romantic Attraction

Romantic attraction is a type of attraction in which people desire a romantic relationship with another person. It is not the same thing as sexual attraction, although the two can often occur at the same time. Romantic attraction can also occur without the desire for physical or sexual contact.

For example, a person who is aromantic experiences little to no romantic attraction to others. The term alloromantic is used to describe people who do experience romantic attraction. Demiromantic is a term that describes a person who only experiences romantic attraction under certain circumstances. 

Sexual Attraction

Sexual attraction is an attraction based on the desire to engage in sexual activity with another person.  It can inspire feelings of arousal and lust, and it isn't necessarily limited to real life. It can also involve fantasies or a sexual attraction to people who you find appealing and arousing but who you will never have intimate contact with (like a crush on your favorite celebrity).

While physical attraction and romantic attraction often overlap with sexual attraction, there is a great deal of variety in terms of what people experience in terms of romantic and sexual attraction.

For example, people who are asexual don't feel a desire to have a sexual relationship with other people, but they may still experience romantic attraction and enjoy being involved in romantic relationships.

The split attraction model (SAM), is a way of understanding how sexual attraction may differ from romantic attraction. According to this framework, the genders of people a person is romantically attracted to may not necessarily be the same as the genders of people they are attracted to sexually. 

Aesthetic Attraction

Aesthetic attraction involves believing that something is beautiful and visually appealing but not feeling the need to pursue any type of physical, romantic, platonic, or sexual relationship. 

Aesthetic attraction also applies to other visual objects, from the products you choose to buy to the type of decor you select.

Intellectual Attraction

Intellectual attraction refers to finding someone's thoughts or intellect appealing. This type of attraction might cause you to want to learn more about a person, get their opinions, or learn new things from them.  

Although intellectual attraction is non-physical and non-sexual, some people find that it has to occur before any other form of attraction can. The mind is the initial draw, often followed by other types of attraction.

The Impact of Attraction

Different types of attraction can affect your behavior in a variety of ways. Research has found that perceiving someone as attractive creates positive expectations about their other characteristics including intelligence and personality. In other words, if you find someone physically attractive, you're also more likely to think they're attractive in other ways, too.

This phenomenon is an example of the halo effect. This tendency can play a role in how you perceive people in a variety of contexts, whether you're evaluating their suitability as a romantic prospect, a workout partner, an employee, or a friend.

Attraction and Relationships

Attraction is not always easy to manage and can be confusing. You'll probably experience several types of attraction throughout your lifetime. Being aware of the attraction you're feeling can help you navigate relationships effectively.

For example, you might feel intrigued by someone but can't articulate why. Other kinds of attraction are often equated with romantic or sexual attraction, so you might assume this means you want an intimate relationship with that person—and you might be wrong. Identifying your feelings accurately can help you avoid mistakes.

Understanding Attraction

Here are a few ways to help you pin down the type of attraction you're experiencing. 

• Build your self-awareness: Spend time focusing on your feelings so that you can get to know what you like and what's important to you.
• Establish and maintain boundaries: Learning more about yourself and how you experience attraction can also help you create romantic and sexual boundaries about what you are willing to accept in a relationship. 
• Understand your motivations: Think about what you want out of a relationship. Are you interested in a long-term commitment, or are you looking for something more casual? Do you want just romance, just sex, or are you looking for both? What role does emotional intimacy play in your needs?
• Remember that there's no "right" way to experience attraction: One type of attraction isn't better or more valid than any other. Understanding your needs and desires can help you find the relationship that supports what you are looking for right now.
• Attraction can change: Attraction isn't set in stone. Your needs and desires can shift over time. For example, you might start by wanting to be involved in a situationship but shift into desiring a lasting emotional commitment. The key is to maintain a line of communication with your partner and be willing to discuss your feelings.

When to Get Help

If you're having issues with understanding attraction or if you're unhappy with your relationships or attachments, consider talking to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you put a name to your feelings and become more aware of how they influence your relationships with other people. 

If you are experiencing problems in your current relationship, consider couples therapy. By working together in therapy, you can learn more about each other's needs and desires. It can also be an effective way to work together towared a strong emotional, romantic, or sexual connection.

A Word From Verywell

Attraction is complex, and you'll likely experience several types during your lifetime or even over the course of a relationship. Learning about your own experience of attraction can help you understand yourself, your needs, and your desires. This can help you form and maintain mutually beneficial relationships.