How to Be a Memorable First Date

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: March 15, 2024

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but they can also be really fun. If you’ve gotten a date with someone you really like, then you’ll want to make a great impression on your first date. All you have to do to make sure you’re a memorable first date is plan a date that allows you to shine, have fun being yourself, and make an impression at the end of your date.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Planning the Date

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1
Suggest a unique date. One way to ensure you'll be memorable is to pick a date that you know will set you apart. Instead of going to dinner and a movie, pick something that will make you stand out compared to other dates you've been on.
- Ask your date to an art show, or invite them to a painting class.
- Ask them to go to an arcade.
- If you're into music, invite your date to a record store to talk about music and your favorite bands.
- Make a picnic and spend time feeding ducks in the park.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1051 wikiHow readers about which first date they’d like to go on the most, and only 8% said going rock climbing. [Take Poll] So, suggesting a casual but unique activity, like seeing a show, might be more fun for your date.
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Pick an activity that also allows time to talk. To be memorable, your date needs to get to know you, so make sure you are able to talk during your date. Choosing an activity instead of a sit down discussion will help ease awkward silences and give you something to talk about in a pinch since you can talk about what you're doing.^{[1]
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- Try mini golf or bowling.
- Play pool.
- Go to a carnival or theme park.
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3
Think of a few fun topics to talk about. While you don’t want to plan out everything you’ll say, you’ll feel less nervous and will be able to converse easily if you have a go-to list of fun topics to discuss. You’ll also avoid spending too much time talking about topics like work or school.^{[2]
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- Make a list of stories about you that people usually find interesting.
- Write down a list of interesting facts you know.
- List the five most interesting things that have happened to you.
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Choose an outfit that shows something about you. In addition to choosing clothes that make you look good, dress in a way that says something about you. The clothes you pick give you another chance to stand out and be memorable.^{[3]
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- If you're a music buff, wear a T-shirt with your favorite band’s logo.
- Accessorize with your handmade jewelry.
- Choose a great pin-up dress if you're into vintage.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Having Fun on the Date

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Be yourself. Don’t try to impress your date by acting like you’re someone you’re not. Being yourself will create a longer-lasting impression because people can tell when you’re being authentic. Not only that, but you’ll have a much better time if you’re able to relax and just be you.
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Be enthusiastic. A great attitude makes an impression on someone. Show your date that you have a zest for life and are happy to be out with them, and they’ll be more likely to get you stuck in their mind.^{[4]
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- Gush about the activity. Say, “I’m so excited we decided to try this!”
- Point out things you like about the place. Say, “Wow, I love how they decorated the walls with local art.”
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Give them a compliment. Everyone loves to hear good things about themself, especially from someone they’re out on a date with. Your date will likely be nervous, and giving them a compliment can be a great way to put them into a good mood. If they’re feeling good about the date, then they’ll likely be feeling good about you, too.^{[5]
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- Say, “That shirt looks great on you,” or “Wow, I think those are the coolest shoes I’ve ever seen.”
- If they’re wearing a brand or style you’re familiar with, comment on it. Say, “I see you’re a fan of leather, too. That’s a great jacket.”
4
Be a good listener. Listen to what your date has to say, and show them that you care by repeating parts back to them. Try not to interrupt them, and don’t hog the conversation with stories about yourself.
- Make eye contact and nod along.
- Repeat part of what they said back to them to show that you’re listening and care about what they say. For example, say, “Wow, I can’t believe that your lost dog walked across the state to get back to you. It’s so great that you guys were reunited.”
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Avoid asking too many questions. While you want to know a lot about your date and want the conversation to keep moving, don’t just ask them a bunch of questions. You don’t want your date to feel interrogated. Instead, build off of their answers.^{[6]
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- After they tell you their favorite style of music, say, “I love alt-rock, too. There’s a local record store that holds free concerts a few times a month.”
- Give them a chance to talk more about the topic or ask you something before you ask another question.
6
Create conversation. Don’t rely on getting to know each other for the whole conversation because it could wreck the vibe of your date. Instead, point out things that are going on during the date and comment about them. This will also help them remember the fun they had with you in addition to what they learned about you.^{[7]
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- If there’s music playing, make a comment about the song. Say, “It’s been forever since I heard this song, but it still makes me feel like dancing.”
7
Laugh at yourself. Laughing at yourself shows that you can be relaxed and take things in stride. This will show your date that you’re easy to be around. It also shows that you have a sense of humor and can be an entertaining date.
- Point out your goofs and laugh. This could be your gutter balls during bowling, your stray balls at mini golf, or the toppings that slid off your pizza.
8
Avoid discussing your problems or flaws. While it’s fun to laugh at your mistakes, pointing out your personal flaws on a first date will make you look insecure. It’s also no fun for your date, so don’t talk about how your eyes are too close together, you want to lose weight, or you hope your skin clears up soon. Instead, keep the conversation light and fun.^{[8]
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- Don’t tell them what you hate about your appearance.
- Don’t apologize for how you look.
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Be spontaneous. Sometimes the most memorable events aren't planned, so be flexible on your date. If the opportunity to do something exciting comes up, take it.
- For example, you and your date might be offered free tickets to a concert, you may come across a fireworks display or an outdoor event put on by your city, or you may notice an interesting venue near where you planned to have your date.
- Go with the flow. Don't be locked into your plans if you have a chance to do something memorable.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Ending the Date

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1
Remind them of something you discussed earlier. Bring up a fun topic from earlier in your date to remind them of the great time the two of you had and how interesting you are. Choose something that points to a follow-up date.^{[9]
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- Say, “I can't believe you've never tried Hank’s Pizza. We should go sometime soon.”
- Say, “I still think I can ice skate better than you can. Want to have a faceoff soon?”
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Tell them you had a great time. Leave things on a positive note by telling them that you enjoyed the date. This will give them a good feeling, which should make the date more memorable. It also tells them that you’re probably open to a second date.
- Say, “Tonight was awesome! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
The good night kiss can be the most awkward part of a first date, but it’s also the most exhilarating. If you’re interested in a kiss, lean in. If they’re interested, they’ll likely lean in, too. A goodnight kiss can make you a very memorable first date.^{[10]
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Send a follow-up text the next day. Remind your date that you had a great time, and mention something funny or memorable that happened on your date. This will keep you fresh on their mind, making you memorable.
- Say, "I had such a great time last night. I'm glad you were there to witness my epic nacho fail."

Additional Ideas

Sample First Date Ideas

Expert Q&A

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Question

What do you look for on a first date?

Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Relationship Expert
Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”

Chloe Carmichael, PhD

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

Use a dating journal to figure out if someone is a good match for you. In a regular notebook, put the name of every person you date at the top of a page. On that page, put a little log of each date. Write down when it was, where you went, one or two things you talked about, and how you felt during the date. If you do that for every date you have, you start to notice patterns while you're dating, and it helps you stay in tune with your perspective.

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Choose a place for your date that you think you’ll both enjoy.

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Both people on a first date are apprehensive and somewhat nervous, so try to use humor to keep the mood light and fun.

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Don't be someone you're not. Be yourself and share helpful thoughts with your date. Discuss your likes and dislikes and don't just talk, listen too. Maybe what your date is looking in a partner is somebody who listens to him/her.

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Bring enough enough money or a payment method so you can cover your costs and/or pay for a way home if you need to.

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Don’t lie to try to make someone like you. Just be yourself.

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