How to Befriend Another Guy - And Not Feel Awkward

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Last Updated: June 1, 2022 References

Making new guy friends can seem impossible, but it’s really similar to making any new friend! You find common interests, start a conversation, and take the initiative to get to know him better. From there, you can start talking more and spending some time together doing different activities. It may take a little bit of time to get him to open up and for you two to get comfortable around each other, but with some patience and confidence, you’ll get there.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Finding Common Interests

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Find out what he is interested in through mutual friends or social media. If you don’t already know him, it’s a good idea to find out a little bit more before you approach him. If you have friends in common, you could ask them what kinds of things he is interested in. If you have access to his social media profiles, check out what kinds of content he posts.^{[1]
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- Is he interested in sports, comedy, cooking, reading, video games, board games, dogs, or music? Or maybe there is something entirely different he likes that you never would have expected. Keep your eyes and ears open to learn more.
2
Attend social gatherings and events where he will be present. It can be hard to try and initiate a friendship out of the blue, so using group activities, social events, and similar things is a great way to get to know him a little better. If you’re in school, maybe there are some sporting events you know he’ll be at that you could attend. Or if you have a mutual friend, perhaps you could catch an invite to the next group hang at the bowling alley or arcade.^{[2]
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- The main goal here is to get some face time with this guy. The more you’re around him, the more chances you’ll have to talk to him.
- The event itself could even be a conversation starter for you. You could ask how he’s enjoying himself, how he knows a particular mutual friend, or if he does that type of thing often.
3
Introduce yourself and start a conversation. This may be super intimidating, but you can do it! If you don’t already know each other, you definitely want to tell him your name when you first go up to him. Smile, be friendly, say “Hi, my name is Robin,” and ask him a question or tell him why you’re approaching him. For example, you could say, “I heard my friend Ryan say that you’re really into this band. Have you ever seen them play live?” Even if you feel nervous, try and overcome that feeling. Once the conversation is going, you’ll feel so much better! Some great conversation starters are:^{[3]
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- What did you think of [music artist’s] latest album?
- What do you think about the [sports team’s] chances this year?
- How do you know [mutual friend]?
- Is this your first time coming to an event like this?
- Did you see the most recent [blockbuster film]?
4
Open up about your interests to see if there is something you share. Avoid interrogating him or bombarding him with lots of personal questions at the beginning of your conversation. Let the conversation flow back and forth, and don’t be afraid to talk about some of your own interests as well. While you may be interested in becoming friends with this guy, you also don’t want to abandon your own interests or personality just for the sake of making a new friend.^{[4]
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- For example, if you know he likes a particular band, you could mention someone you like who has a similar style.
- Or, if you’re both into video games, you could talk about your favorite version or ask questions about what he likes about his favorite game.
- Remember, people are generally interested in becoming friends with people who are themselves interesting.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Establishing a Friendship

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Follow him on social media and exchange contact information. Part of becoming friends with someone involves getting connected, both in person and online. Follow him on Instagram and Snapchat (if you don’t already), and ask for his number.
- After you get his phone number, send him a text with your name so he can add you to his phone. You could write something like, “Hi, this is Kayla from the football game. Nice talking to you tonight!” Or try something like, “Hey Bryan, this is Ben (we met at the batting range yesterday). Let me know if you want to meet up and practice swings sometime.”
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Ask him to do something with you, even if it’s a new interest. Of course, by all means, ask him to do things that you know he will enjoy. But don’t be afraid to ask him to attend something different, too—you never know what kind of shared interests you might find, plus it’ll be a common talking point that you can refer to in the future.
- You could always arrange a group hangout, too, and invite him along with some other friends. This might alleviate some pressure if you’re worried about giving the wrong impression through spending one-on-one time together.
- Check out a new restaurant or coffee shop, go to a movie or a play, sign up to run a 5k, volunteer, visit a museum or art gallery, make a trip to see a sports game, or take a cooking class. There are tons of things you can do together to get to know each other better.
3
Keep things positive and be yourself. When you’re just starting to connect with a new friend, it’s a great idea to keep things positive and light-hearted. Some guys might get intimidated or turned off from the friendship if you dive right into the deep emotional stuff. Try to inject your conversations with humor and come up with some inside jokes to make a deeper connection with your new friend.^{[5]
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- Authentic people are the best people to be friends with. So be yourself, and trust that if you two do connect, you can create a long-lasting friendship.
4
Have confidence in yourself and in your ability to make new friends. You yourself are fun and interesting, and if you have common interests with this guy, there is no reason you shouldn’t start becoming friends! Confidence helps to attract others to you, and your new guy friend will be more likely to talk to you if you’re comfortable with yourself.^{[6]
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- Making new friends can definitely be hard. If you’re having a hard time being confident, try standing up tall with your shoulders back, speak clearly, smile, and make eye contact when you talk to this guy.
- It’s also true that sometimes people just don’t click, and that’s okay. Try to not take it personally if it isn’t working out or try to pretend to be someone you’re not just to be friends with him.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Maintaining a Long-Term Friendship

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Schedule regular “friend dates” so you can connect. Staying in contact and interacting regularly is a huge part of being good friends with someone. If you live close by, try to see each other on a weekly (or more often) basis, and use texting and phone calls to talk when you’re not together. If you live further away, try to meet up in person once a month, or as often as you can.^{[7]
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- Also, don’t hesitate to spend time together in group settings, too. Sometimes that shared experience can be fodder for more one-on-one conversation.
2
Have open, honest conversations. Once your friendship moves past the surface level and you start to really get to know and trust each other, it’s time to start being a little more transparent and vulnerable in your conversations. Don’t hide your opinions or pretend to be someone you’re not just to make him happy.
- Remember, friends don’t have to agree on everything or like all the same things.
3
Be emotionally available and supportive. Just like being friends with anyone else, being friends with a guy may require you to be a support during tough times. If you feel like your friend is having a hard time, ask him about it. And ask if there is anything you can do to help him out. Even if there isn’t anything you can do, the offer will make him feel cared for.
- One thing to keep in mind here is to be sensitive if he has a significant other. If he does, that role of emotional support should be played by the significant other. You can still be caring and supportive, but remember that it may be someone else’s place to be his main emotional support.
4
Keep things friendly unless you both want a romantic relationship. This is something that comes up frequently in close friendships and often needs to be discussed to make sure that everyone is on the same page. If you start developing feelings for your guy friend, or if he starts to develop feelings for you, you will probably need to have a conversation about it. Being upfront about your feelings will be hard, but it might save your friendship in the long run.^{[8]
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- Be open to the relationship changing over time. If romantic feelings develop on either side, things may change a bit. Or if either of you gets a significant other, how much time you spend together might shift a little, too.
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Community Q&A

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What if my best friend doesn't like him, or starts to bully him?

Sarah Battilana

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You will probably need to have a conversation with your best friend about why they don't like him and why they're being mean to him.

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What if you come across as a stalker?

Sarah Battilana

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If your behavior is coming off a little intense, you may want to take a step back. Maybe take a break from looking at his social media, or start hanging out somewhere else for a little so it doesn't look like you're following him.

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I'm a bisexual man who often crushes on straight guys. Could you tell me how to befriend a straight guy without embarrassing him?

Sarah Battilana

Community Answer

Approach it like you would a friendship with anyone else! Get to know him, find common interests, and invite him to hang out. If you're worried about what he thinks, you could have an open and honest conversation with him about your sexuality. Just talking about it could clear the air and open the door for a cool new friendship.

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Tips

If your guy friend has a significant other, be sensitive to that relationship and don’t overstep your bounds as a friend.

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Avoid getting physically intimate with your friend. This could really muddy the waters and confuse both of you about your friendship.

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